4"Alright class today we are learning about the wonders of social media." Pepper clasped her hands together. Facing Thor, Steve and Kyra as they relaxed in one of the lounges. It was an informal set up. Tony had insisted on assisting. Pepper had her reservations but couldn't stop the billionaire from coming. He promised to behave. They'd see if he held up his end of the deal.
"IT THRILLS ME TO JOIN YOUR COMMUNAL COMMUNICATIONS!"
"Social Media Big Guy, it's called Social Media." Annoyance laced Tony's face. Though he was the God of Thunder. There were many moments when this 'all mighty man' still appeared as smart as a box of rocks.
"WHAT PREVILANCE IS THIS MEDIA OF SOCIAL?"
"You communicate to people on the internet." Tony quickly interrupted.
"It's where people post every single thing about their lives for all of the world to see and then are surprised when people judge them."
"AH THE WEB OF MIDGUARD! I REMEMBER JANE SPEAKING OF THIS!"
"The internet? The web of Midguard? I'm confused."
"Of course you are Capsicle, now shush"
"Social Media is where 90% of the world accesses the internet from."
"What about the other 10%"
"They aren't relevant Spangles. They are all as old as you and probably still use IE" Tony visibly shuttered at the mention of the internet browser.
"WHAT IS THIS EYE OF E?" Ignoring Thor's question, Tony turned his attention towards his younger sister.
"Kyra are you paying attention?" Tony pressed.
"Huh? What?"
"Were you sleeping?" Disbelief lacing his tone.
"It seemed more productive than this." The younger Stark shrugged. With shock Tony placed a hand over his shrapnel filled heart and exclaimed
"Aahhpsssgahtaag!"
"What? How will this knowledge benefit a blind girl Tony? I can't see remember?"
"You won't be blind forever!" Tony replied in exacerbation. "Plus there are voice commands! Now pay attention!" Kyra ignored his request and snuggled back into her cocoon.
"Wait… are you going to tell people about me?!" Terror entered Kyra's body at the prospect of being a subject of the Media once more.
"What? No!" Tony's voice sharing his confusion of the accusation.
"IS THAT NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS MEDIA OF SOCIALISM?"
"Social Media Thor. SO-CEE-AL ME-DEE-AH"
"THAT IS WHAT I SAID IS IT NOT?"
"Lord give me strength."
"Steve, is there a blanket behind you?" Turning the super soldier discovered a plush blanket draped on the couch. Grabbing the item he handed it to Kyra.
"Oh yeah, here Kee Kee." A grateful smile was directed towards Steve as she situated herself.
"Kyra! I said pay attention."
"Mmmmhmm. I'm visualizing your words Tony." Kyra mumbled as her head rested against the couch arm.
"THIS MEDIA OF SOCIALISM IS FILLED WITH MAGIC IS IT NOT!?"
"Umm Thor… Socialism is a form of government." Steve quipped. Slightly unsure he turned towards Pepper. "That's still accurate, right?"
"Yeah it is Steve, we'll handle history later."
"Okay."
*** Time skip brought to you by the Pinwheel of Death. ***
"Here are some popular uses of social media. Communicating with friends and family"
"Without having to actually speak to them."
"Sharing your thoughts and opinions"
"Making fun of strangers for their thoughts and opinions. Ruining friendships over political views."
"Tony…" The lesson had been moving forward with minimal interruptions from the brown haired know it all. It appeared that was going to change soon.
"Also sharing an obscene amount of pictures of your pets, babies, and food."
"Why would people take pictures of their food?" Steve asked in confusion.
"Psht! Why wouldn't people take pictures of their food?"
"But I don't understand it's just food!"
"Social Media, in short, is a way to share your life with the world Steve." Pepper tried to explain. Her patience with her boyfriend waning.
"But mostly bragging about how awesome you are or making fun of people who are different from you." Tony's boisterous personality was thriving from the attention. Tony loved knowing everything and holding said knowledge over others.
"That's not very nice."
"The world is not a kind place." Stark dismissed with a wave.
"Why is it you Midguardians thrive on cruelty?"
"We don't Th"
"Wait?! Did the God of Thunder just use an inside voice?!"
"Brother Stark, speak softly. Lady Kyra is resting."
"What? KYRA!"
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Wind shot out from her body and pushed the couches an extra three feet away. The blanket that had covered Kyra was launched into the air. Landing on Tony's head. Panting heavily Kyra's eyes were wide with fear.
"Tony!" Pepper smacks the back of his head. There wasn't much force behind the blow. Pepper being preoccupied with Kyra's current state of terror.
"Pepper! ARE WE UNDER ATTACK?!"
"Kyra it's alright. Tony was just being a jerk." Bitterness laced Steve's voice as a sideways glare was sent to the billionaire.
"Shhh honey. It's okay." Pepper had cupped Kyra's face gently. Panic still filled Kyra's expression as the adrenaline continued to pump through her system.
"I HEARD SCREAMING!"
"Kyra relax, it was just your idiot brother." Pepper's voice was soothing as she stroked Kyra's hair lovingly. Annoyance clear, but no other emotion present.
"Hey!"
"Promise?" The group ignored Tony's rebuttal.
"Yes we promise." Steve cooed. Tracing small circles on Kyra's back.
"Worry not, all is well Lady Kyra." Kyra nodded in response. Sensing only the presence of her family. Her heartbeat returned to normal. Then her eyebrows rose in realization.
"Wait...Thor, did you just use an inside voice?"
"SEE! Kyra gets it!" Tony tried to justify his previous statement.
"I do not wish to cause you terror Lady Kyra." The grin that spread across her face was one of appreciation, joy and love. It soon was clouded with a hint of wicked intentions. Kyra faced Thor, giving him what she hoped was a puppy dog face.
"Then can you hit Tony for me? I can't see him, and he really scared me?"
"I would be my great honor." Kyra giggles. It's a sweet yet maniacal sound that unnerves Tony in an instant. Pepper agrees, Tony should be punished. But still in love with the man she pleads.
"Please don't kill him Thor." In a half worried tone. One that shows her approval and acceptance of the violence that was to come. While the others turn to face Tony, Kyra sends a triumphant smirk his way.
Placing his hand above his heart Thor bowed his head in acknowledgment. "You have my word Lady Pepper." Tony watched the entire exchange with wide eyes. Cap remained by Kyra, showing no interest in the new developments. Thor turned his massive frame towards Tony. His towering stance filled with animosity and annoyance.
"Heeey. Woah, woah, woah. Let's slow down big guy!" Thor continues his approach. Tony's desperate attempts at reason fail to sway the God. "Jay, I need my suit, right now." Tony mutters out of the side of his mouth. His eyes trained on Thor, the billionaire walked backwards without realizing the direction he headed in. Thor stalks forward menacingly. JARVIS did not respond to Tony's request and panic was starting to take root in his entire being. Without warning Tony is in the hallway outside of the lounge. The door shuts, a satisfying click informs all parties that the door is secured. Realizing his safety a breath of relief leaves Tony. Then another realization dawns. "Hey wait! I'm the teacher! I'm teaching you guy's things!" franticly banging on the door. "Pepper is going to do it wrong! She'll skip all the good stuff!" None of the others paid attention to Tony's cries. They simply moved further from the door and continued the lesson with Pepper leading the course.