4"So after recent… incidents…" Tony was glaring at Thor, Steve and Bucky. "We've decided to take a break from social media lessons. Today's we are going to focus on kitchen appliances." Kyra sat to Bucky's left, tracing the designs on his metal arm, not concerned with anything Pepper was saying. Bucky's face was blank as he awaited orders. Steve sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.
"Sorry again Stark."
"It was a fridge spangles. You even had those in your time!" Bucky tensed and growled.
"Yeah but they weren't demon machines that attacked me with ice!"
"You hit the ice dispenser! What did you expect!"
"I just wanted a damn sandwich!"
"Captain! Language!" Kyra gasped finally paying attention to the conversation. Her classic Stark smirk adorning her round face. Bucky wrapped his arm around her waist wearing a small smirk of his own at his friends flushed face.
"That's why we're having this class. To avoid any more accidents."
"Or possible fires." Tony glowered in Thor's direction now.
"BROTHER STARK I REQUIRED SUSTANANCE. THE MACHINE ATTEMPTED A DEED MOST FOWEL! I SHALL ALLOW NO ENIMY THE PLEASURE OF MY PAISTRIES!"
"That doesn't mean you needed to use your lightning hammer to electrocute the damn thing and almost cause a fire!"
"IT WAS A BATTLE WHICH THE MACHINE WOULD NEVER WIN!"
"IT'S A TOASTER!"
"AND IT SHALL NOT STEAL THE GLORIOUS TARTS OF POP AGAIN!" Pepper's head was in her hands as she listened to the men go back and forth. 'Men' was a strong word to use right now. Kyra listened in amusement. Bucky stone still stone stiff awaiting orders.
"Look here. You lot are going to stop destroying our kitchen appliances! They are top of the line. I've bought 4 toasters, 3 microwaves and a new refrigerator in the last 3 weeks! And don't get me started on the showers!"
"It's not like you don't have the money Tony." Kyra drawled.
"Not the point!" he fumed back, face red as he took a frustrated swing in Kyra's direction. Bucky's arm tightened around her waist. Even though Tony's 'strike' was nowhere near actually hitting Kyra. The action was threatening enough to raise his guard further. His eyes followed the eldest Stark monitoring his every move. Kyra looked at the tense soldier. Quickly nuzzling into his chest in an attempt to calm him.
"Почему ты такой серьезный? (Why so serious?)" She murmured into his chest. His response was only to pull her closer. "Тони не является угрозой. Успокойся морозной. Все нормально. Мы в порядке. (Tony isn't a threat. Relax Frosty. It's okay. We're okay.)" A stiff nod was a reply. He applied a light kiss to the top of her head. Drawing Tony's attention back to the couple. He was about to start ranting again but Pepper cut him off.
"Let's head to the kitchen shall we?" Pepper grabbed Tony's arm dragging him away from their 'students' him mumbling all the while. Steve followed closest, eager to learn. Thor next, hoping to conquer the demon toaster, retrieving his beloved tarts of pop. Bucky and Kyra brought up the rear. Kyra rubbing soothing circles on Bucky's back. The kitchen was his least favorite room. Ever since Kyra tried to show him how to cook bacon, Bucky avoided the room at all costs. The couple settled on the far side of the kitchen. Bucky glaring daggers at the microwave.
"Don't even think about it tin man." Tony warned. "You remain at least 10 feet from the microwave at all times."
"Tony lighten up. I've destroyed a microwave or two in my time."
"You didn't collapse the counter and punch a hole in the wall causing plumbing to break and the kitchen to flood." Kyra waved her hand dismissively.
"Not his fault his strong as shit with the body of a god." Kyra smirked up in Bucky's direction. He was grateful she couldn't see the blush that dusted his cheeks for a second. His face soon returned blank as he watched Pepper expectantly.
"Right… Well, we are going to start with the blender,"
"Since they are relatively in expensive…" Tony mumbled under his breath.
"Stop whining Tony." Kyra taunted. "Alright Pep, what's this thing do?"
"Well, it blends." Pepper stated simply. "You might remember them from before…"
"Not really." Kyra stated. "It's still kind of fuzzy." Pepper gave a defeated look for half a second. No one liked bringing up HYDRA or what Kyra was like before. Bucky and Thor were oblivious to the tension that had begun to build.
"WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS CONTRAPTION?"
"Pep just said Thor… it blends food."
"Tony." Pepper gave him a warning glare. "I'll show you. The most common thing a blender is used for is to make smoothies. You place fruit and vegetables in the blender cup. Put on the lid, then blend. Like this" Pepper hit the button for liquefy. The blender blades roared to life for all of 5 seconds before a large metal hand managed to smash the device. The berry smoothie coated everything within a 4 foot radius. The counter had caved in from the force of the blow. Bucky's eyes were wild with fear and anger. In his rush to the blender he'd made sure Kyra and Steve were safely behind him. This saved them from most of the berry explosion. Tony and Pepper surveyed the damage. Her cream colored suit jacket was now splashed with the purple substance. The stain already setting into the fibers. The same could be said for her pencil skirt, which had been added to her wardrobe only 5 days prior. The ceiling was also coated with the almost smoothie substance. Impressive as it was 14 feet from the ground. The stainless steel cabinets were coated, but it was nothing a wet wash cloth couldn't fix. The real damage was the counter. It caved down a solid 2 feet, the blender now fused to the remains of the counter top. Shards of glass had worked their way into a few joints in Bucky's arm. He paid no mind.
"Buck your bleeding!" Steve exclaimed. Kyra quickly panicked grabbing her boyfriend and touching him in search of the wound.
"It's just a scratch Kyra honey, calm down."
"Oh my god! Is this blood! What happened!" Her hands frantically wiped the slush away terrified of the unknown substance.
"Christ its smoothie not blood Kyra!" Tony scoffed. "He ruined my counter AGAIN!"
"Steve said he was bleeding!"
"A shard of glass grazed his cheek he's fine!" Tony barked annoyance dripping from every word. "My brand new kitchen counter on the other hand is COMPLETELY destroyed. What the hell were you thinking Barnes?!"
"It was dangerous." His voice was even and flat.
"IT'S A FUCKING BLENDER! THERE IS NOTHING DANGEROUS ABOUT A BLENDER! THE ONLY DANGEROUS THING IN THIS ROOM IS YOUR CRAZY ASS!" Tony continued his rant. Kyra grasped both of Bucky's hands.
"С тобой все в порядке. (Are you alright?)"
"Это было опасно. Это должно было быть уничтожено. Я не позволю ничего причинить вам вред. (It was dangerous. It had to be destroyed. I won't let anything hurt you.)" Kyra smiled warmly at the concern that filled his quiet voice. She rested her head on his smoothie coated chest. Wiping a glob off of his shirt she placed her finger in her mouth.
"Mmm, it's good. Frosty Try it!" She soon loaded more of the goop onto her finger shoving it into his mouth as well. Frosty nodded as he swallowed the substance.
"I uh… I need to go change…" Pepper sighed. "Bucky you and Kyra should wash up. The smoothie is going to be sticky when it dries. Bucky sent a stiff nod her way and picked up Kyra whisking her from the room.
"Hey! Don't you shower with her Barnes!" Tony shouted following the assassin out of the room. "That's my little sister! Don't you get any ideas!" His voice echoed through the rooms. "Don't touch anything! You're covered in mess!" As his voice faded Pepper made her way out as well, trying to let as little of the smoothie drip onto the floor. Shaking her head. Steve and Thor looked between each other.
"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND BROTHER STEVE." Steve winced at Thor's booming voice. He rubbed the back of his neck, surveying the pink and purple coated god. "THIS SUBSTANCE BINDS QUICKLY! IT HAS ATTACHED ITSELF TO MY GOLDED TRESSES!"
"You should take a shower Thor."
"THOUGH THE FLAVOR IS SAVORABLE IT BRINGS IRRITATION TO MY SKIN!" Steve patted Thor's now sticky cape and lead the god out of the room. No one bothering to clean the mess. An hour later Barton jumped down from one of the vents, only to find a horde of ants attaching themselves to the smoothie residue. His reaction? A scream so shrill it could be heard in ever floor of the tower. The world class assassin, brought to tears by dried smoothie and tiny bugs.