Camping with the JLA

Chapter 1

"you want us to do WHAT?!" Black Mask asked angrily

"go camping, Roman. We haven't had a family trip since Dinah was born. C'mon Dinah really wants to do this. And besides, we've never done a family activity" Hippolyta says

"no. absolutely not, I forbid it" Black Mask growled, stomping his foot on the floor

Few seconds later…

"oh goddamn it" Black Mask grumbled as he sat next to a snoring Mera and a chatty Livewire as he and the Leaguers were in their extremely huge mini-van, Black Canary fast asleep in her carseat, Hippolyta sitting next to her, and Two-Face and Hawkgirl in driver's seat and passenger seat

"ok, we're here. Everyone out and get your stuff" Two-Face ordered, Robin grunting in pain as Mera accidentally stepped on his potatoes

"shhh! Dinah's asleep" Hippolyta whispered softly, getting Dinah out of her carseat and hoisting her over her shoulder, getting Dinah's bag

"oh do us all a big favor and cut the umbilical cord" Batman growled, Two-Face shooting him an angry look

"ok guys me and Dinah will be sleeping in the child tent, the rest of you set up wherever you want" Hippolyta said, getting inside her tent as she zipped Dinah up into her Barney sleeping bag

"my girl's 1st camping trip. Mommy's so happy" Hippolyta said happily

"hey. Is everything ok?" Huntress asks, poking her head into Hippolyta's tent

"yeah. I just put Dinah down for her nap. Wanna sleep here tonight?" Hippolyta asks

"sure. I'd love to" Huntress says, getting her sleeping bag and stuffed animals

"Mommy? Is big sis Helena sleeping with us?" Dinah asks drowsily

"yes she is. Go back to sleep now, I'll wake you up soon" Hippolyta cooed, kissing Dinah on the head as Dinah yawned and fell fast asleep

"isn't Dinah a bit too big for that sleeping bag, Mom? We bought that for her when she was a baby" Diana griped

"Diana…" Hippolyta started

"ok Mom, never mind" Diana said, realizing she can never win an argument with her mother

"I hate it here. Bugs, vermin, owls, it's all disgusting" Roman complained

"oh hush Roman. Can't you hear Mother Nature singing to us?" Ivy said sexily

"yeah I hear her singing get out of my woods, get out of my woods" Black Mask chanted

"suck it up, suck it up, suck it up" Supergirl chanted teasingly

"ok, who wants to go fishing?" Two-Face asked, all dressed in fishing gear

"Ugh… ok Dad, I'll do it" Robin whined, putting on his life preserver as he and Two-Face got into the fishing boat

"that's my boy" Two-Face exclaimed happily, giving Batman a dirty look

"Hush! Zsasz! Can you two be Mama's little helpers and get some wood for the f-i-r-e?" Hippolyta asked

"FIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEE" Firefly roared, buzzing around with his handy-dandy flamethrower

"Mother! You told me we weren't gonna bring HIM with us" Helena moaned

"oh come on now sweetie, Garfield needs some time in the great outdoors" Helena remarked

"yeah but he shouldn't be turning it all into a blazing inferno" Hawkgirl moaned

"not to worry, I emptied all the fuel of his flamethrower" Booster Gold bragged

"uh-oh…" Hippolyta gasped

"he's not gonna be happy about that…" Helena warned

"he's behind me, isn't he?" Booster whimpered as a very, very, very, VERY angry Firefly hovered over him

"GIMME MY FUEL, YOU BLEEDIN WANKER" Firefly roared, chasing him down and around the woods

"don't worry amigos, I got this" Diablo said warmly, lighting up the firepit

"thank you very much Diablo" Hippolyta said

"de nada, senorita Hippolyta" Diablo replied in his native Latino accent

"I'm missing my annual Workaholics Anonymous meeting…" Roman complained

"well did you tell them you were gonna be out of town for 3 weeks?" Hippolyta asked

"WHAT?" everyone gasped

"you're…making us… stay… in the woods…for three… F*CKING…WEEKS?" Black Mask asked

"yes. Because to be fair, all of you have been inside far too long and we all need some time outdoors because hey, it's springtime" Hippolyta explained

"WOOHOO" everyone except Black Mask cheered