"...So, in conclusion (a) run, (b) lots of planets have a north, (c) bananas are good, and (d) I don't do families. Any questions?" asked the man at the front of the room. He wore a leather jacket, a green shirt, and black pants.
Although his ears and nose were a bit big, it didn't keep him from having a certain appealing aspect about him. His hair was cropped short, a dark brown some might confuse for black in a certain light, and his blue-gray eyes were sad, wise, and had a twinkle of mischief about them.
A boy sitting in a chair towards the middle of the room raised his hand.
"You with the spray-on tan?" he nodded at the boy.
The boy flushed; he hadn't realized his fake tan was so obvious the man could tell all the way from in front of the black board. "Professor-"
"That's Doctor to you." he corrected in his soft Northern accent.
"Well, Doctah, I don't see how any o' that's relevant to history, or science, for that mattah. Sounds more like a creative writin' class than anyfing."
"Well," the Doctor said, smiling broadly. "I think you'll find it'll make sense fairly soon. Now, if you'll kindly follow me outside, I have a demonstration planned I think you lot will enjoy."
He gestured for them to follow him out the auditorium door.
"What do you think Doctor Smith has planned this time? Last week, he opened the door with a sodding wand! It was brilliant!" exclaimed a girl with bouncy red curls.
"No, it wasn't a wand, Ginger; the Doctor called it a sonic screwdriver. It must be something he invented himself. I told me dad about it, and he'd never heard of anything like it, and he works at a patent office, or whatever he calls it." said another kid.
"He's right cool, he is." the girl named Ginger said.
"And it doesn't hurt that he's cute." a girl sighed breathily.
"Ew, Doctor's gotta be atleast a thousand years old, gross!" a kid said.
"Teacher's pet, teacher's pet, Margo is a teacher's pet!" a boy chanted. Margo glared daggers at him.
"Oh, please," scoffed the boy with the spray tan. "He opened a door with a screwdriver and he's the greatest thing since kippers? Rubbish. I could do that."
Ginger glared at him, arms crossed
"Well you weren't there last Friday, Connor, 'cuz you were ill. It was the coolest and you've just got your knickers in a bunch 'cuz the Doctor's smarter than you."
Connor flushed crimson, though it was rather hard to see under his orange tan, and said not a word more until they reached the courtyard.
The Doctor stopped abruptly, causing the students behind him, who stood like baby ducks in a row after their mum, to knock into one another. He then surged ahead of them, suddenly standing in front of something blue and wooden that Connor couldn't quite make out. The Doctor stood proudly, arms crossed in triumph.
"Who can tell me what this is?" Doctor Smith asked.
A girl with thick glasses and corn rows answered. "It's a P'lice Box from the 1960's."
"Me gran met me gramps inside of a P'lice Box. Got married 3 months later, they did." a gawky boy standing near Connor said.
"She sounds like a real classy lady, your gran!" someone hooted.
"I'm sorry, Tiffany, but you're wrong. It's not an ordinary Police Box at any rate. This," their teacher gestured smugly. " Is the TARDIS. Stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It's the best ship in the universe, and it so happens to be mine."
"It's so little, Doctor, how could it possibly be a bloomin' ship?"
"Did I neglect to mention it's also a time machine? All of time and space for the taking. Just step right in!" he exclaimed.
The students murmured loudly, some said the Doctor had to be utterly mad, others that he was a brilliantly mad genius.
"How are we supposed to all fit in, Doctor, there's no way-" someone began.
"Would you believe me if I told you the TARDIS is bigger than she looks? Come on now, I haven't got all day- well, it is a time machine, so technically, you can take all bloody day if you want, and still be home for dinner. Time is no object." he said.
Finally, Ginger pushed through the crowd of children and stood next to the Doctor. He patted her on the back, beaming. "Fantastic, Ginger, good to see you're taking the initiative!"
Slowly but surely, all the students edged toward the little blue time machine- all except Connor, who refused to budge.
"You're all mad, you know!" he called as the TARDIS door slammed shut behind the Doctor.
Gasps of delight were audible as the children filed in. "It's bigger on the inside!" they crowed. The Doctor smiled fondly, glad to see the children so ecstatic about his TARDIS.
Eventually, as the shock wore down, the Doctor began fiddling with switches and controls and buttons on the TARDIS console. Ginger was left with the strange impression that there was much to be learned in that hyperactive charade of his... as though he was trying to hide the fact that he was showing off to the students.
"Now then, anywhere in time and space, anywhere you can possibly imagine is at your fingertips. I can take you anywhere, but make it fantastic."
The children spoke back and forth in hushed tones for a few moments until Ginger, who seemed to be their spokesperson, said "We've decided we'd like to see ancient Egypt, if that's fine with you, Doctor."
"All right then, nice choice, bit obvious if you ask me, but not bad." the time-traveler said.
He flipped one last switch and the TARDIS whirred to life, carrying them further and further from England and into a past that wasn't quite remembered the way it had truly been... and leaving Connor gaping as it disappeared in front of his very eyes...