1Title: Light and Free (Suicide song #1)
Prompt: Fantasy (30 prompts table A-30, prompt 12)
Pairing: ItaSaku
Au: high school, other world (aka "heaven")
Genres: sadness, friendship
Words: 1409
Note; This was (and still is) a part of my ItaSaku one-shots but I decided to give it its own series, called the 'suicide songs'. These will be sad and always end with suicide or something alike. I'm sorry if you can't handle it, but please don't read it then. Italics are lyrics. Song list below. The second suicide song will be up as soon as possible.
Since I somehow broke three of the ffn rules I had to delete this story from it's original story, delete the lyrics and I had done one more thing wrong but I couldn't remember it. Sorry .
Summary: Her fantasy killed her but saved her at the same time. He brought her there because he knew that she would break in this world.
Xx
Please listen to Try - Colbie Caillad
Xx
Sakura didn't really care anymore. She had tried to be the best. To do what her parents asked from her. To be so good that her long time crush would notice her. To do so good until they would see it. See that she was just as good as the others.
Until they would praise her.
But the praises were never given.
Xx
Please listen to Try - Colbie Caillad
Xx
She was sixteen now, a high school student. She should have friends, should be going out in the weekends and she should enjoy herself.
But no. Instead she went straight home after school, studying for the next tests. She didn't have real friends. Only people who acted like her friend, but if she wasn't there they wouldn't miss her.
They liked the Sakura she trained to be.
Not the real her.
They thought of her grades as "natural". At first she was a nerd, but when they began to notice that she always got high grades was it not special anymore and they stopped calling her a nerd.
When they saw her for the first time, her hair and looks were special.
But then they also got normal.
So she always had to try harder, to be noticed again. They wouldn't complement her looks anymore, because it was normal, so she had to wear make-up, so she would get complimented again.
Her grades weren't special anymore so she had to study even harder, trying to get even higher grades.
Xx
You could ask why one would do all those things to get noticed.
Well, it's simple.
She wasn't happy with herself, thinking that she wasn't good enough.
So others had to make her happy. Others had to convince her that she did good.
But with parents like hers, who always wanted more, did she not get much support from home.
With friends like hers, all fake ones, she wouldn't even wish of getting support.
And with no boyfriend, (only a crush who would never notice her), she didn't get support and help.
She had to support and help herself.
And that was hard.
Xx
So she stopped.
Xx
Please listen to Try - Colbie Caillad
Xx
It was on a Monday morning that she decided not to care anymore.
Monday mornings were hells anyway.
She usually would go out of bed early and repeat the subjects of the day and then apply her make-up routine.
But not this time.
This time she stayed in bed.
None of her "friends" had messaged her this weekend, asking why she wasn't there.
They hadn't even noticed.
Xx
Her parents had left for work, probably thinking that she had a free first hour.
She didn't even touch her make-up supplies.
She just went to school with her natural face, a loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt.
Nothing special.
Just herself
Xx
Please listen to Human - Christina Perri
xx
She didn't answer all the questions of the teacher today.
They had noticed the changes.
They had noticed that she didn't wear make-up.
That she didn't look as "good" as usual.
That she didn't do as "good" as usual.
But they also noticed that she had bags under her eyes.
(…From all the late nights she stayed up studying..)
That her left leg faltered a bit every time she walked.
(…From walking on those damned heels which made her legs look longer..)
Xx
Please listen to Invisible - Skylar Grey
Xx
She always had much fantasy, but she didn't think that her fantasy would make her dream like this.
Xx
Please listen to Invisible - Skylar Grey
Xx
Sakura sleepily opened her eyes. "Where am I…?" She blinked a few times and pushed her body up so she was sitting now. "You're safe, that's all you need to know," was said from behind her. She twirled around. The sun shone from behind the male who had answered so she could only see a silhouette. She focused her eyes a bit more to see sharper but to no avail.
"Who are you?" she asked. "I'm Itachi," he answered. He walked towards her. She shuffled a bit back, trying not to get too close to him. He saw her attempt on getting away and smiled softly. "It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe with me." His voice was calming her. It was a bit sharp on the edges but the words were spoken so carefully and soft that she couldn't do anything but relax a bit and let him come near her.
He helped her up, and the first thing Sakura noticed was that she felt lighter, freer. She smiled when she closed her eyes. She absolutely loved this feeling. No weight on her shoulders. Just her, the male and the soft sounds around her. "You like it?" It made Sakura's moment stop and let her look at him. He was holding her in his arms. "Can I stay here?" asked she. She didn't want to leave here. If she left this place she would have to go back there. She didn't want that. "Only if you leave the world you're in now," was his answer.
And her dream was over, she was woken up by the bell.
Xx
She knew she was going crazy, that it wasn't real, but she wanted it so much.
She wanted to go back there, to be in Itachi's arms.
"You don't even know the man," muttered she to herself.
But she couldn't forget it.
Xx
Please listen to Little do you know - Alex & Sierra
Xx
It haunted her. Every day, night and moment.
On the Monday morning after that she made up her mind.
She was going to see Itachi again.
She just needed a little more time.
Xx
Please listen to Little do you know - Alex & Sierra
Xx
She worked harder than normal, looked better than normal.
People started to forget the day that she looked so, so less herself.
It hurt her to smile again, that fake smile, while she could be with Itachi now and smile for real.
But she had to do it.
She had to complete her plan; when she completed it she could go and see Itachi again.
So she completed it. She acted like she did before meeting Itachi, but she wrote everything down in a little note book. She wrote letters to everyone she spend more than one day with; even her teacher (Kakashi-sensei) who acted like he could see right through her would get a letter.
Xx
She made an end to her life on a Monday morning, three week later.
It was a shock to everyone. They hadn't expected it. "She always smiled." "She never looked sad."
"But do you remember?" "Remember what?" "You know that Monday she went to school in baggy clothes and with bags under her eyes?" "Oh, I remember. She actually looked sad that time."
Xx
When she was buried, and it was her mother's time to read she read the letter she left to them all.
"It wasn't the fault of you. It was mine.
My fault that I couldn't make myself happy.
That I needed someone else to make me happy.
But that someone never came, until three weeks ago.
I had this dream, where I met Itachi.
That world was amazing.
I felt light and free. No burdens anymore.
I asked Itachi if I could stay.
He said that I could if I left this world.
So I leave this world.
I hope you all will be happy in this world because I will be happy in that world.
Together with Itachi.
Love, Sakura."
Song list:
1th time; Try - Colbie Caillad
2nd time: Try - Colbie Caillad
3th time: Try - Colbie Caillad
4th time: Human - Christina Perri
5th time: Invisible - Skylar Grey
6th time: Invisible - Skylar Grey
7th time: Little do you know - Alex & Sierra
8th time: Little do you know - Alex & Sierra