Just a random idea that popped into my head round midnight and wow I have been at it for an hour and a half, and i'm still not too sure I have managed to get it how I imagined it, but I cant think of anything else to change. I did have several ideas for this and wanted to incoporate noah but decided against it,

I wanted to show allen's insecurities at the order in a somewhat love/hate relationship, I really hope I accomplished that. Constructive critisism please, and I don't want to hear about my grammar or spelling, I simply don't know how to improve the former and the latter I dont give a toss about at 1:38AM

obviously I don't own Man or my Name would Not be Raicheda(-etc…) now enjoy while I get some shut eye now this ideas out my head.


I hide the scars and bruises under layers of cosmetics once more, blending them in the way I've always done, it's dangerous to let them be seen, a wound is bad enough. They are circling me, waiting for a chance to strike me at my weakest, surrounding me as to block of any escape, making it hard to breathe as they smother me in red tape, that is Central, or the side of it I've come to be intimately acquainted with, they are like vultures to me, their dogs names in this case suits them, CROWS more bird brained feathers I'd like to ruffle but can't due to my delicate position; And the order, this… this was my home, I feel… it won't be soon.

I see the glares, I hear the whispers. I used to wish they would call me traitor to my face so they can see how deeply their words hurt me so that they may know i'm not their enemy, yet. Not yet. Now though…

Now It usually happens when no one else is around, someone's hands on my back as im about to go down stairs, a sudden leg appearing when I'm in the cafeteria, not receiving messages of the finders and some scientists to go help out or go to Komui's office when summoned.

I tried to shrug it off however after a tripping event in the cafeteria where someone slipped something into my food as I regained my footing, and Lavi coming in at the exact moment to see the whole thing, Komui's and central got involved, now I have one of their dogs following me around rather than just observing, it doesn't help, they don't have an outlet, but suddenly they're quiet no more glares, no more attempts at harming me, but no communication whatsoever, only the other exorcists some finders and scientists, jerry the chef and link, obviously, talk to me one would think that enough, but the silence from the others is deafening and I can't help but fear what lies in store for me.

I hide the bags and exhaustion under layers of cosmetics once more, blending them in the way I've always done, it's dangerous to let them be seen, I am not allowed a moments true rest. I look up at the mirror within the bathroom, A refreshed Allen looks back no signs of stress sleepless nights or the effects my recent lack of appetite have caused. But for all the cosmetics I apply I cannot hide the breaking spirit of my eyes; I smile and it looks fake to me, good enough that as long as people don't look too much into me the smile will do it's job.

Link waited for me outside the bathroom, he doesn't say a word about how I looked before I entered the bathroom till now, he seems to realise its not something to speak about, rather a curt nod is sent my way and we go to Komui's office, we have a mission briefing. Around the corner from Komui's office doors, we almost bump into Lenalee and if not for all 3 of our quick reflexes the coffee for the rest of the science department would have been wasted, Lenalee gives me a worried look and asks me if i'm alright; i'm not okay, I don't know if i'll ever be okay again but, I can't tell anyone this, I can't let them know how much I have fallen. I smile that fake smile again and tell her im fine, she seems reasured and carries on her way, i'm tempted to look at link, to see what he makes of it, instead I internally square my shoulders and march on into Komui's Office, mentally preparing myself for a day of reasuring smiles and constant are you okays before I set off for my mission. The only sign link was still following me was the tap of his shoes in sync with my own.

please leave me some constructive feedback (gives tired puppy eyes)