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Babysitter Beware...

Teddy Lupin sighs. Because honestly, what was he expecting?

Babysit my kids for a day, Harry said.

They're practically your siblings anyways, Harry said.

It'll be fun, Harry said.

Well, screw you, Harry, because now I have silly string in my hair, a furious and horrified mother, and a possibly missing child.

It all started earlier that morning…

"And we'll be home at eight, Teddy, is that alright?" Ginny says.

"Perfectly fine," Teddy says, grinning. James, Albus, and Lily grin behind him. They wave goodbye to their parents and Teddy turns to the kids.

"Come on, Teddy, pay attention to me first," Lily, only ten years old, tugs on her new babysitter's sleeve. Teddy grins and turns back to the boys.

"We'll be fine," James says.

"Yes, we'll be fine," Albus says. Teddy narrows his eyes as the boys rush to the fireplace and hears them muttering about Floo Powder.

"Come on, Teddy, let's play!" Lily cries. "I have a great game in mind." She leads him up to her bedroom, which is jam-packed with all sorts of contraptions that may or may not be a mixture of toys and weapons.

"Oh?" Teddy asks, already regretting agreeing to Harry's proposal. Lily pulls out a can of something.

"Silly string!" she cries.

"Silly string?" Teddy says in bewilderment. "What's silly string?"

"Here, I'll show you," Lily says. She guides Teddy to a paper target plastered on the wall and makes him stand in front of it.

"Hold very still," she mutters, then presses down on the top of the can. Teddy splutters as he gets a faceful of the silly string.

"It's sticky and all over me," he says in a monotone voice, looking at Lily, who is crying triumphantly about hitting Teddy on her first try.

"Teddy!" comes a cry from downstairs. Teddy rushes down the stairs, grateful to get away from Luna and her games.

James is standing there, arms crossed. "Can I invite a friend over?"

"Why?" Teddy asks. "You have me."

James glares. "Al gets to have a friend over."

"Mum said I could," Albus says, dragging a petrified looking Scorpius Malfoy to the stairs. "Teddy, this is Scorpius Malfoy, Scorpius, this is Teddy Lupin."


Scorpius nods vigorously.

"Besides, he was already here," Albus says, sticking his tongue out at James. James rolls his eyes.

"Fine. I'm going out," James says to Teddy as Albus and Scorpius rush away.

"What? No you're not," Teddy says.

"Yes, I am," James says. "See ya later, I'll be back before eight."

"Teddy!" Lily screams from upstairs.

Three hours of silly string, hastily-made lunches, and trying to contact James later, it's only four o'clock when there's a ringing sound from the kitchen. Teddy rushes into the room, Lily passed out on the couch from an intense game of football outside.

Albus and Scorpius are standing huddled around a phone, which wizards have been getting more and more of for easier contact.

"Pretend to be my mum for Scorpius's mum," Albus hisses. Teddy picks up the phone and clears his throat, then attempts a false, high-pitched voice.

"Hello? Ginny?" comes the voice from the other end, Scorpius's mother.

"Hello," Teddy says in his horrid imitation of Ginny. "This is… Mum Potter."

"Ginny?" Mrs. Malfoy asks again. "Can Scorpius come to the phone."

"The children are playing swords," Teddy says, then mentally curses. "Sorry. Playing with swords."

"Swords?" Mrs. Malfoy cries.

"Oh no. They are dead. Do not call again." Teddy says hurriedly before slamming the phone down. He sees Albus and Scorpius staring at him, wide-eyed.

"Sorry," he says in the high voice, then clears his throat. In his normal voice, Teddy says, "I panicked."

Albus shrugs, then drags Scorpius away, the non-Potter sputtering at their odd habits. The phone rings again and Teddy jumps, picking it up carefully.

"Hello?" he asks in barely more than a whisper.

"Teddy, this is Ginny," the person, Ginny says. "We just got a panicked Patronus from Astoria Malfoy. She seemed to think that her son was dead after playing with swords. Care to explain?"

"Albus made me do it," Teddy says before hanging up again. He runs a hand through his silly string-infested hair and sighs.

With Lily asleep and Albus occupied, Teddy sits down next to the youngest Potter on the couch and waits. Lily wakes up not half an hour later and tells Teddy to leave her alone, she's going to do some experiments. She then plucks a lock of his hair, loudly says, "I've never tried it with Metamorphmagi DNA before!" and then disappears.

Teddy Lupin sighs. Because honestly, what was he expecting?

Babysit my kids for a day, Harry said.

They're practically your siblings anyways, Harry said.

It'll be fun, Harry said.

Well, screw you, Harry, because now I have silly string in my hair, a furious and horrified mother, and a possibly missing child.

At six o'clock, just before dinner, Teddy quickly pulls out his wand and sends a Patronus to James, telling him to come home. The oldest Potter boy shows up twenty minutes later with a black eye and a bloody nose.

"What happened to you?" Teddy cries.

"I got into a fight," James says. Teddy groans, pulls out his wand, and hastily tries to fix James. Unfortunately for Teddy, he's not good at healing spells.

"Alright, go wash the blood off before dinner," Teddy sighs.

"You're not mad at me for leaving for several hours?" James asks.

"Oh, no, I'm furious," Teddy says. "You're grounded."

"What?!" James cries. "You can't ground me!"
"Fine," Teddy says, morphing so that he looks exactly like Harry, scar and all. "You're grounded."

"Listen to Dad, James," Albus says, arriving in the kitchen. "You just missed Mrs. Malfoy at the door, Teddy, she was very happy to see that Scorpius was alive and now he probably won't be able to come over again."

"Your parents had no idea he was here, did they?" Teddy asks, groaning and turning back into himself.

"Nope!" Albus says.

"Look on the bright side," Lily says, coming down the stairs. "Now you won't have that many awkward questions when they get home!"
Teddy raises one eyebrow. "That is a lie and you know it," he says. Lily grins.

Eight o'clock comes after a messy dinner and then Exploding Snap. It appears as if a small hurricane struck the kitchen and living room area when the Potter parents re-enter their home.

"Oh my," Ginny says.

"Look at that, your parents are home!" Teddy says, standing up quickly. "Well, goodbye, see you all later!" At that, he rushes out of the house and Disapparates.

Ginny and Harry looks at their children; Lily, covered in silly string, potion, and blue hair, James, with a black eye and possibly broken nose, and Albus, who looks extremely guilty about something they aren't sure they want to know about. Then there's their house, which may have been hit by a tornado.

"Well," Harry says. "That's the last time we let Teddy babysit."