The Guardian's Plot, Chapter 2

Author's foreword: Be warned! Only those with a strong stomach should read this chapter! My own stomach is strong enough to hit a two inch bullseye at a distance of fifty paces with my projectile vomiting!

Ten years later...

The Empire and the Kingdom had long been mere satrapies of Nazarick and the Slane Theocracy was a small footnote in the history books after Ainz had had enough of their bigoted ways concerning non-human races. Ainz thought back to the pleasure and joy he had felt after releasing his super-tier spell of [Metamorphosis] over the entire Theocracy, which turned every citizen of that country into the ugliest goblins ever seen.

Ainz chuckled to himself as he thought about what he told the leaders of the Theocracy immediately afterwards...

"This spell will only wear off and return you to your human forms AFTER you have sincerely and honestly decided to accept non-human races as equals to humanity."

He knew full well that while quite a few of the common citizens of the Theocracy would eventually become amenable to the idea of multi-racial equality, the priests and other leaders of the Theocracy would probably die of old age before changing their ingrained beliefs, not to mention that their belligerent attitudes of superiority over others would ensure that their new forms as very weak goblins would make their lives perfectly miserable at the hands of every other race, including all of the other clans and tribes of normal goblins that they were forced to live with.

"Yes... This is MUCH better than merely killing those prejudiced bastards. Maybe I should check in on them and see how they are doing…"

Ainz got out his Mirror of Viewing and looked at the particular goblin village that had agreed to take in the leaders of the Theocracy.

"Shut yer yapper, ya stupid idjit priest! No one gave ya permission ta say a single thing, much less bother us wit' yer continual preachin' about yer so-called Six Gods!" bellowed a large goblin at a scrawny little goblin in a ragged loincloth who had formerly been the head priest of the Theocracy's Black Scripture. "Where were yer blasted gods when Lord Ainz turned all of you maggots into itty-bitty low level goblins? Ahh, I've had enough of yer bullshit!"

Ainz then had to turn away from the Mirror as he knew that the former priest was about to receive his usual punishment of "Bobo", which was a particularly vicious torture delivered by the largest, filthiest and most disgusting of the goblins in that village.

With a satisfied sigh, Ainz put away the Mirror of Viewing and thought to himself, 'The world has become a lot more peaceful with those bastards out of the way!'

"Well, it's time to see how things are going with all of my children," he said to himself and headed to the arena on the sixth floor where Cocytus should be holding swordsmanship classes with all of Ainz' lich children.

Ainz teleported to the arena just in time to hear Cocytus yelling in an angry voice...

"Stop throwing fireballs at each other! These are advanced sword fighting techniques that I am trying to teach you! You can play with your magic spells later!"

All of the little liches turned around to face Cocytus and said simultaneously, "Yes, Uncle Cutie!"

Ainz, who was watching them from the shadows of the entry tunnel, facepalmed himself in embarrassment at how his skeletal children referred to Cocytus, but the insectoid Floor Guardian merely puffed up his chest with pride at hearing them call him "Uncle" and said, "Right. Now pay attention as I am about to show you how to avoid an overhead slash while countering with a slicing cut to your opponent's groin."

Later on, Ainz decided to check on the kids class with Shalltear.

"Listen up, children," he heard Shalltear telling the class while listening from outside the lecture hall. "For today's lesson in pleasing your future sexual partners, these two Vampire Brides of mine will be demonstrating the use of this double-headed Dildo…"

Ainz facepalmed himself while feeling that his white skull was turning beet red with embarrassment and he quickly retreated from the area.

Two days later...

In the Throne Room, Ainz was talking with Albedo and Demiurge. "Albedo, I know that you and the other women of Nazarick did not like it, but I still maintain that it was best to prevent any of the children being shown any favoritism by their mothers by mixing them up in the nursery right after their birth. And you must admit that they are all treated equally due to this."

Demiurge said, "Yes. As usual, Ainz-sama foresaw the problems that might arise and acted with true wisdom to prevent them from happening."

Ainz was glad that they believed what he had first thought to be a feeble excuse after he had carelessly mixed up the infants in the nursery by complete accident.

Albedo looked at her beloved Lord and said, "Well, I must admit that it has been wonderful these past ten years having all of Ainz-sama's children to raise…"

"Excellent! Now, have you ordered the children to report here?" Ainz said, putting a slightly angry tone into his voice.

Both Albedo and Demiurge glanced up and behind Ainz nervously while Demiurge said, "They are waiting just outside the Throne Room, my Lord. Shall I call them in now?"

Ainz drummed the fingers of one hand on the arm of his throne and said, "Yes. Bring them in."

As the doors opened, the little lich kids ran in, happily screaming, "Mama Albedo! Uncle Demiurge! Father!"

Albedo looked at the youngsters with her wings fluttering in a truly adorable fashion and proudly proclaimed, "Aren't they just the cutest little darlings?"

The kids came to a stop before the throne and lined up in a perfect military formation.

Ainz thought to himself, 'Well, at least they are learning some discipline from Cocytus and then he did his best to hide his own pride in his children while doing his best to sound as angry as possible when he looked at them sternly while saying, "I just have ONE question for you little scamps."

"Which one of you burned up the great flag of Nazarick hanging behind this throne with a magic fireball!?"

The skeletal kids all pointed at each other while saying, in one united voice, "He did it, Daddy!"

Ainz, once again facepalming himself in a manner that was becoming all too common lately, just barely heard Demiurge muttering to himself, "I am so proud of the way that they have applied yesterday's class in the strategic techniques for confusing one's enemies that I have been teaching them!"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those unfamiliar with "Bobo"...

Sir Bears A Lot and ainzOoalGo were on a cruise ship, enjoying a vacation from their Overlord Fan Fiction hobbies when the ship collided with the International Date Line and sunk at sea from the damage caused by hitting the huge dotted line in the middle of the ocean. After drifting for several days while desperately clinging to a lone life preserver, they washed ashore on a remote south sea island inhabited by a primitive tribe of natives. They were brought before the village chief who told them that it was taboo for outsiders to be on their island and they had the choice of death... or torture by "Bobo." Sir Bears didn't want to die, so he chose Bobo. He was then repeatedly raped, both orally and anally, by the filthiest, most disgusting men in the village. This torture went on for two weeks, non-stop. Afterwards, Sir Bears was brought back before the chief as a man broken in both spirit and body. The Chief then looked at ainzOoalGo and gave him the same choice, death or torture by Bobo. Well, ainz didn't want to be violated by a bunch of nasty, filthy, diseased native cocks, so he bravely said, "I choose DEATH!"

Chief PervySageChuck smiled and proclaimed...

"Very well. Then it is DEATH... by BOBO!"

(Ol' Pervy waits patiently for the rightfully expected retaliation from both Sir Bears and Mr. Go for this heinous offense against their dignity.)