The once bright sky was hidden under a layer of thick gray clouds. Perfect setting for such a horrible day. Esabella sat shaking in the tub. The warm water did nothing to relax her muscles. I pulled her frail form up, wrapping her in a towel. She never stopped the shaking. Leading her out to her room softly. The home was buzzing like it did every year. There were plenty of kids in the orphanage who were of age. The wretched old bag who 'ran' this place was kind enough to leave for the time being. Like the kids need her crap on top of this. She gloats each year how if one of us win she'll be rich. And if we lose she'll have one less mouth to feed. Seven. We have seven kids who are entering the drawing for the first time. Three boys, four girls. All thin and scared like most of us here. Esabella and I pass Dedreick as he's leading Kander into the bathroom. They are all so besides themselves. The odds of them getting drawn are small. But, the odds are never in our favor. Not here in this dilapidated warehouse turned orphanage. Esabella was dressed and pressed. Soon the others all followed. None of the younger kids laughed of played. Even sweet little Gaia was silent. She can't walk or talk, but she knows, just like we all do. It's almost time. Dedreick, Alnus, Rudbeckia and I lined the younger ones up. Al and Ruddy were in their last year. Rick and I had two more. I wasn't scared. Not out of ignorance, but experience. Not much soul left to save.

"Aahh! There are my brrrrave champions!" Gossypium's voice rang forcing me back to reality. I whipped around. Standing protectively in front of the kids. Good old Gossy had it in her head that we were her slaves. "Now, you all go and make me look good or there'll be hell to pay!" Gossy's eyes turned towards me. My glare not wavering. "Watch it now sweetie. Don't want to have the Peace Keepers hear about your little slip up hmm?" The same honey voice laced with poison I'd been forced to listen to for the last 6 years. I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face. My 'slip up' wouldn't have happened if she actually gave a damn about us. Protected us. Keeping my mouth shut I headed forward. The kids all walked in silence. I felt a small hand reach for mine. Large green eyes looked up at me with worry.

"Don't worry Ari. Your mama is gonna be fine." Al stated as he passed by with his arm around Kander and Corydalis. "We all are" he said a bit louder. No one responded. Ari clung to my side. When we reached the town square my stomach dropped, the way it does every year. I shook my arm gently. Ari gripped tighter.

"Arianna let go." Stern eyes drilling into her beautiful ones. I could look at her eyes all day. Harper walked over. He gently took Ari and led her to the waiting area. The sea breeze blew my auburn curls. I let my mind blank out. Feel nothing. Just wait. We are but fish, being sent to the net. Who would be caught this year?

Euripides our escort flounced out onto the stage. High hair dyed sky blue. A suit-dress like thing? Maybe? It made him look poofy. Like a powerder puff Mom would use to put on make up. Mom. Not now. No memories now. Just wait. Eyes forward and blank. The long rambling of history of why we celebrate the game is the same as every year. Euripides' voice squeeks a bit more. I zone out, unable to take much more of the capitol shit. I have a lot to be bitter about. But things could always be worse. "As always, Ladies first." I took a deep breath of sea air. "Rudbeckia Baldrein." Shit. I had to think it. My arm shot up so fast. There was a crack, I may have popped it out of place. Panic has a tendency to give me more power than I could ever imagine.

"I volunteer as tribute!" My voice booms. Then it's like the world stops. I realize what I've done. I can't tell who's screaming my name as I walk forward. It was Ruddy's last year and she couldn't go in there. She couldn't. Not in her condition. Moving out of the crowd with a cold face I didn't look at anyone. I just let my body move. They were still screaming. Once on stage I saw Ari fighting against Ms. Thymelyn, She'd just wrestled the three year old firmly into her arms. That made this so real. A larger lump formed in my throat. Taking a shaky breath, I know what I'm leaving. Why the hell did I do this? Scanning the crowd I meet the sad hazel eyes of my best friend. I nodded. Tears were streaming down her face. One might have fallen down mine as well. I don't know, I'm not able to feel in this moment. I know what I'm leaving. But I also know what I'm saving. I know what I'm saving.

"What is your name dear?"

"Marjorie Sur."

"Well Let's give a big hand for our female tribute Marjorie Sur!" The crowd clapped, some people were smiling at me. I don't have a lot of friends outside of the orphanage. Not anymore. My eyes glazed over as I thought about a time when I didn't know about hate. Before the fire…

"And the male tribute is….. Kallen Asie-"

"I volunteer as tribute!"

"WHAT!" The word leaves my mouth before I realize it. Al walks up on stage, shoulders squared and tall. His giant frame more impressive due to his scowl. I meet his glare and increased mine tenfold. That stupid bastard. He was free. He had his life. He was going to live. Everything we've done to keep him alive…. And he signs up for his death. Signs up to kill me… I can't even think to listen to anything after that. Rage pumps in every cell of my body. The blood is pounding in my ears so hard I can't hear a sound. Just my heart beat. I swear it echoed through all of Four. The beat of betrayal. I let the peace keepers lead me to the visiting rooms. We're separated. Sitting on the fancy worn out couch I clutch my head in my hands. Ari runs in first. Followed by Ruddy. Ari is a sobbing mess. I pull her up into my arms and hold her close.

"Mar..."

"Don't." My voice is colder than I expected. Her eyes show even more hurt. I send her a sympathetic glance. I'm going off to my death but I'm comforting her. That's the way it's been though. Ruddy may be older and larger, but I was stronger. We both knew that. "Take care of the kids, especially the new one. You got that." Her eyes were wide with fear.

"How..?"

"I went through that with Kari, or did you forget?" I stated as I pulled Ari a little closer. Ruddy looked between me and Ari.

"Momma don't go!"

"Listen here." I pulled her away from me. Her perfect green eyes were wide with fear. "I'm going to leave." At that she started to ball. "Arianna listen to me!" I snapped she nodded and her beautiful green eyes focused hard on me. "I have to leave, okay. And I might not come back." The words strangled me like a vice. "But don't you forget. Near or far, where ever you are. I will be loving you. Do you understand me?" Ari started to cry, I felt tears leak down too. I held her so close. The door slammed open and Peace Keepers came in.

"Out!" I snarled on reflex. Ruddy came over. After a brief hug I shoved Ari into her arms.

"MOMMA!" Her voice broke my heart in a way only she could. Tears streamed full force down my face. The doors shut and I let a shuttered breathe leave my lungs. Soon enough Rick walked in.

"They won't let anyone else in." he stated after a pause. Replying with a stiff nod, we stood in silence.

"Gossy start betting yet?"

"What else do you expect?" sharing a bitter laugh we lapsed back into silence. Even with Dare, I had to be strong. I couldn't show fear. Not to any of them. He looked expectantly, it was clear what he wanted to ask.

"She'll tell you why soon enough Rick. Take care of them. All of them do you understand me?" He stood 6 inches taller but still manages to shrink under my gaze. "Ruddy is going to be useless. Do. Not. Let the younger kids watch. Do you understand me?" Tears were streaking down his tan cheeks. He nodded as well. "I'm serious Rick. Don't let anyone take any food from them okay? I don't want the kids in school. They'll be forced to watch there."

"You have to come home. One of you has to come home." I breathed as he wrapped his giant arms around me. Too many emotions. This could be the last time I was in Rick's arms. The last time, again. How many good byes do there have to be? "Promise me. Promise me you'll come home." I held him tighter.

"No." I managed to breathe out evenly. "I promise I'll fight like hell. I promise one of us will come home. I'm not promising it will be me."

"That's not goo-"

"It's all you're getting." My voice was caught between a command and a sob. What an odd combination. Just then the Peace Keepers came in. They grabbed me, not Rick. "Don't let me down Rick! I'm counting on you!" I screamed to him as they hauled me to the train.

"I love you Mar!" He'd rushed after me. His form was blurry behind the tears. I don't know if it was from fear or sadness. In my head I sat, waiting. Shock. That's what it was, shock. I was lead into a large compartment. There Al was standing talking to the 'Darling' of the Capital. Fantastic.

"Mar, Finnick and Mags are going to be our mentors." Al stated turning around with a smile. A SMILE.

"You STUPID SELFISH SON OF A BITCH!" Each word was matched with a fist. Al was on the ground in all of 5 seconds. Soon large arms were wrapped around me. I grabbed the man and flipped him over onto the table. Al held he hands up.

"MAR! Listen to me!"

"NO YOU LISTEN TO ME GOD DAMMIT YOU KNOW WHAT IVE DONE TO KEEP YOU ALIVE! YOU KNOW WHAT IVE SACRIFICED TO KEEP YOU HERE! YOU WERE FREE AL! FREE FROM THOSE SPINLESS BASTARDS! YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU AL!"

"I KNOW AND IT DIDN'T WORK!" he roared. The air left my lungs, we were face to face neither one backing down. I searched his eyes.

"You…. You didn't take the medicine?"

"Mar"

"That's the only way it wouldn't work Al."

"Mar, listen."

"YOU KNOW WHAT I DID TO GET THE MONEY FOR THAT SHIT ALUS AND YOU DON'T EVEN USE IT!"

"IT. DIDN'T. WORK!" He roared. The volume of his voice overpowering my own. Al was always a gentle giant. My mind blanked at the ferocity of his voice. "I took that shit every day Mar. Just like I was supposed to. But it was too late. The damage was done."

"No…" I wonder if the world could hear the shatter. It rang in my ears. This isn't happening. "no the doctor said. He said you were doing better. Why would he lie about that?"

"I asked him to."

"What. No. that doesn't make sense." My foundation is cracking. The world started spinning.

"I stopped responding to the treatment 4 months ago Mar. I didn't tell anyone."

"You… No…"

"I was always going to volunteer."

"Why? Why would you leave them like this?!"

"I'm dying Mar. Wither it's at home watching you fight for your life, or fighting by your side… I'm going to die." A strangled sob left my throat. "I'd rather have my death mean something. I saved that kid. I bought him another year of safety." I started shaking. Anger, fear, sorrow, what was the difference anymore. Drowning in emotions. Is there a difference between up and down? It had been 6 years since I'd felt this cold. Frozen. No worse. There has to be something worse. This is so much worse. I don't know when I ended up on the floor in Al's arms. I don't know how much time passed while I had my break down. My older brother was dying. My older brother was dying.

"W-What a-about Rudd-ie?" the words were strangled and blended with each sob. "S-she al-allready lost K-Ke-ira. Y-ou you can't leave her t-too!" Al wrapped me up tighter.

"I'm going home Mar, I get to see Kira again. And my parents, I get to meet yours."

"n-n-no w-w-we ne-ne-need y-you!"

"I know that you will take care of Ari and the others. You are the strongest out of anyone in all of Four."

"No No I'm not! I'm not strong!" I felt like Ari looking up at his dark blue eyes as he looked down at me.

"Then figure out how to be! You need to be strong dammit!" His voice rose. "You always have! You do ANYTHING for them! Got that!"

"I always will." I managed to breathe out.

"I know… Its better us than them Mar. You know that."

"I know…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. His chest heaved at my back. Our breathing evened out. The world around me came back. We were on a gaudy over decorated train. Heading to the Capitol. And my brother is dying. Euripides was staring at us, mouth hung indignantly in shock. Finnick and Mag's eyes held pity. I hate pity. "Can I help you?!" roaring angrily at the three. This wasn't any of their fucking business. The powder puff looked shocked and offended. Oh he hadn't heard anything yet. A storm of emotions rose me to my feet. Fight or flight. But I'd never run. I'll take the hit because it's all I know how to do. Survive. It's all I know how to do. This overdressed disgusting blue man had no idea the struggles we face every day. Four is supposed to be a career District. We still struggle. There's still a canyon between the wealthy and the poor. A canyon that the victors get to leap over. Forgetting the ones they knew before. Fury built as I recount every injustice I've ever seen. Every loss. Every dream crushed. Every ounce of hope stolen. My feet moved me closer to the Capitolites. That's all the Victors were now. Choosing wealth over love. I was soon jerked back slamming into a familiar chest.

"Where's her room?" Al cut everyone off. Euripides started to cluck in his capital fashion. Not helping the situation man. Not helping. His words were high pitched and insulting. Fire. Storm. Lightning. Wind. Hatred. Unadulterated and unfounded hatred. All consuming rage. Staring daggers at the Captiol man as he led us down a hallway. It was only us because Al was practically carrying me from my shoulders. It was also the only thing keeping out escort alive. I'm usually able to turn it off. Find my light in the darkness. That's always Al or Ari. And Al is dying.

Al and I both walked into a huge room. He wrapped me up and we laid down. Like I used to with Kari. It made me shake. Not of rage. Despair. This always happens. Anger turns to sadness and depression. A side only Al got to see. A side I'd have to face alone soon.

"It's not appropriate for tributes to share their room." Euripides' voice cut through our peace. "You have to leave!"

"Make me." Was all that Al said. Clucking more the man slammed the door behind him. My walls dropping. I finally started to let go. Sobbing like I hadn't since the last day Kari walked this earth. Breaking with Al shattered right beside me. How am I supposed to be strong now? Ari. Ruddy. That's how. The others. I'm getting home to them. No matter what. But god, how?

It took a few hours before my tears stopped falling. Al had cried himself to sleep. I didn't have time to waste. Silently I crept out of my room. Searching for the living room. I needed a TV. Watching the previous games would be a good use of my time. I have to come home. As I entered each room the light automatically turned on. It caused me to jump. Almost out of my skin. Soon two people appeared. One an older woman with brown hair. Gray was peppering into the strands. She was done up in the trademark Capitol fashion. God that stuff had to be annoying. It was irritating just to look at. The boy who arrived with her was dressed the same. Black and white clothes. Blank faces. Why were they even here? It was unnerving. They just appear out of nowhere. I'd come her to watch the previous Games to study. Having no idea how to work this crap it was clear I needed help. I hate asking for help.

"Umm, hi." They were staring at me. Like the kids. Waiting for an order. God, I'm not that intimidating am I? Maybe it wasn't intimidation. Maybe it was contempt. That word caused my throat to close slightly. I still need to study. "Could you please gather tapes from the previous Games? I would like to start studying." They each left with a nod. Their eyes still boring into my brain. What was that emotion? What could I have done? Oh… right… I broke things. They probably had to clean up that mess. Minutes later they'd appeared with a box of videos as well as a pad of paper and pencil. "Oh thank you! I didn't think to ask for paper." They nodded again. No eye contact unless I grabbed theirs first. Ashamed? Disgusted? They don't look like Euripides. Pompous and feathered. More beaten down, home. Their eyes, they look like home. "I'm…uhh sorry for making that mess earlier… I uhh wasn't thinking clearly." They both looked at me like I had grown a second head. It was the most emotion they'd shown. I rose an eyebrow, confused as why they looked so confused. We stood surrounded by silence. Then it hit me. "No one talks to you do they?" I breathed out. Both shook their heads. Slight fear in their eyes. What kind of a life is that? Being ignored by everyone around you. My kind of lift that's what. "Will it get you in trouble if I talk to you?" They shook their heads again. The woman pointing at me. "It will get me in trouble?" They both nodded solemnly. "Why? that doesn't make sense." They both remained quiet. The older woman looking to the ground in slight despair. "Do you not know how to talk?" Who reaches adulthood without being able to speak? Is that why they are servants? They are too dumb to do anything? "Would you like to join me?" They looked at me like I was crazy. "I have 27 people waiting for me to get back home. My older brother is dying. I really need all the help I can get. And I hate asking for help. But the way I see it you guys know about the games and the Capital." They both shared a glance. Still no word. "Can either of you write?" They looked at me with horror again. Why is writing terrifying? What the hell is going on here? My gaze was expectant. Anger was brewing again. I hate being ignored. Their gazes were both on me of the floor. What the hell? "What, can't bother to speak to the poor tribute from District Four?!" The woman's eyes snapped up. She took a step forward. Placing two gentle hands on my shoulders, shaking her head violently. Eyes pleading that was not the cause of their silence. "I'd really appreciate an actual answer." The woman shrunk back. The younger man more so. Fear? Why are they afraid of me?! This is so frustrating. The woman's thin gloved hands reached forward grabbing the pad of paper I had. She started to write quickly. The script was neat. She had clearly been educated.

"We can't speak."

"What you don't know how?" The boy took a defiant step forward and opened his mouth. His tongue was missing… "What the hell?" the words hardly traveled past my lips. Jumping backwards in surprise of the gruesome sight.

"It's our punishment, we are criminals. We do not belong in polite society." The woman scribbled down again. I let out an ugly snort. The kind that Rick would laugh at me about.

"Polite society is stupid. So would you two like to join me?" They both shared a worried glance. The boy curtly turned and left. The woman scribbled down another note.

'He has only been here a few months.'

"But do you know about the games?"

'Yes, I've been an Avox for the games for several years.' Was her reply. I looked at her expectantly.

"What's an Avox?" Her eyes saddened again.

'A captured enemy of the state who is forced to serve the Capitol for life.' More anger raged. What could she have possibly done? She seemed sweet and petit. I'm sure that's how the others saw me as well though. 'I'll help anyway I can.' Sending a grateful smile her way, my shoulders relaxed. Might as well start from the beginning. It was only 11 pm. I had at least 8 hours to kill.

"What's your name?" I asked realizing I'd been completely rude. She looked at me taken aback again. She scribbled down. 'Marcella' I smiled at the name. "Cool we almost have the same name. I'm Marjorie. It's a pleasure to meet you Cella." There was a shocked and grateful look in her eye. Like she hadn't heard someone say her name in ages. What if she doesn't like that name? "Is it okay if I call you Cella?" she nodded quickly. A smile on her painted lips. I tried ignoring the confusing tears that had welled up in her eyes. This wasn't right, but is anything? "Well let's get this party started." Cella got up and popped in the first Hunger Games video. We were up to the 11th year and I was shaking with rage. All the carnage all the death. We were watching the tribute parade. Interviews everything. It was a fucking popularity contest. I wanted to puke. "Turn it off please." I stated coldly as a 12 year old girl was squired by a muscle bound boy from District Two. Cella did as asked and sat back down. I looked at her with teary eyes. "It's a glorified popularity contest isn't it?" I whispered. "Sponsors." She nodded sadly. "So I'm going to be an object for the capitol?" More tears were gathering. Cella nodded again. "Awesome…" my voice broke. Feeling her sad gaze on my frame I felt weak. Not in a demanding way. She simply wanted to help. And that alone made me want to assure this tongueless stranger that I'd be okay. Taking a deep breathe I started collecting myself. Brightening my voice I chirped "Well at least I know how to do that. I know how to sell myself." Cella's eyes screamed disbelief. I chuckled. "It's a shit thing for a 16 year old to know how to do. But trust me, I'm good at it." My tone turning bitter towards the end. I closed my eyes seeing flashes of the things that I've done. Bringing my knees to my chest I took a deep breath. Soon I felt a familiar hand ruffle my hair. I glared up at Al as he gave me his charming smile.

"Moooorning sunshine." He flopped down. "Studying?"

"Yeah, it's a glorified popularity contest."

"What?"

"The games. The people who win are the ones who are popular. We have to make them want us to live. Or hide till everyone else is dead."

"We're selling ourselves to the capitol. Pimping our past for sympathy in order to keep you alive?"

"Yup!" I stated popping the 'p' "great folks huh?" I stated sarcastically. "But we've got a lot to use."

"You've got this in the bag then."

"Fuck you." I snorted as he gave me a cocky smirk.

"No thanks, I'm not in to incest." Two can play at that Game Mr. Inees.

"That's not what you said last night." I murmured slyly. Leaning forward. He shook his head and frowned.

"See what I mean!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." answering in a sing song voice I stood for the first time in hours. Trying to encourage the blood circulation in my limbs.

"You're as bad as Kari was." He laughed. I stopped smiling then, stopped moving too. Just stopped. "Mar, I'm sorry."

"Come on we've got work to do." Voice was colder now, matching the icing of my heart. Nothing like dead relatives to kill any sort of joy I've managed to conjure up. Pain and loss are powerful motivators but powerful weaknesses as well. There will be enough death in the coming weeks. I don't need to think about past tragedies now. "We can agree she's off limits?"

"No Mar, I think Kari and Arianna are your two best selling points." Selling points. Using my dead sister and her daughter as selling points. How can he even utter those words? "As sick and twisted as it is, it's true. You'll get the men with your looks and the women with your strength and compassion. You've got your adopted daughter to go home to. You made a promise. And."

"I always keep my promises." We murmured at the same time. I pushed my bangs out of my face. Frustrated. Al just had to be right. "It doesn't feel right."

"It isn't. But you have to go home." We both took a shaky breath.

"You talk about Kari if you want to. I, I can't. That's like talking about Mom and Dad. I just…. I can't." I could feel my heart rate rising as memories danced before my eyes. Squeezing them shut I focused on my breathing. Memory lane is not somewhere I need to be. I need to be at home with Ari and the others. Making sure everyone has washed and eaten. It's got to be close to 7 now, how are they getting along..

"Sounds good." Al's firm hand clasping my shoulder brought me back. "Come on, let go see what food they've got around here. We haven't eaten in a day." Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere. Focus Mar. Focus.

"Don't get used to this cushy crap." I scolded.

"Then why'd you let me sleep, hmm?" He smirked at me again. I narrowed my eyes. Cella lead us to the breakfast room.

"Thank you for your help Cella." I called before she could leave. She sent me a nod and a soft smile. Turning back to the feast that laid before us Al made a strangled noise.

"You made a friend?" Al asked with disbelief. I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table. "…I think hell just froze over…" he muttered, sitting next to me. I ignored his cocky smirk and focused on spreading jelly on some weird bread like thing. Euripides walked in clucking angrily. He stopped the moment he saw us sitting at the table.

"Well, that explains why you weren't answering your doors." He mumbled grumpily. Shuffling his over polished self towards some kind of drink dispenser.

"Looks like this year's tributes are early risers Mags!" Finnick called as he entered the room. Mags made some kind of mumbling sound. It made him chuckle. Spending the next few weeks stuck with Finnick Odair was not ideal. Al saw me tense and nudged my side gently. I rolled my eyes. "You used to hate waking up early Mar." Finnick stated as he sat across from me. Mar… like when we were kids. We aren't kids Odair. You left me… I gripped my knife a little tighter. Earning another nudge from Al.

"You haven't spoken to me in two years Odair." Venom dripping from my voice. "You do not have the right to call me Mar anymore." The pregnant silence fueled the memories dancing behind my eyes. "Actually do us both a favor and don't speak to me at all." I slammed the knife and bread thing down before stalking out of the room. Nothing. For years. And he acts like we just spoke yesterday. Like I'm not being sent to fight for my life in an arena of death. Like he didn't break his promise….

Alnus's POV

Well she didn't hit him. That's a plus. She didn't eat anything either. I'd bring her leftovers after I finished. Euripides was beside himself.

"I have never encountered such a horrible girl!" his exclamation caused me to tense.

"You don't know a damn thing about Mar." I bit out. Managing to keep my voice level. "None of you do." I stated pointedly glaring at Finnick. He looked guilty but offended. Euripides started to cluck about how my language was inappropriate. I watched him go on. If the word 'damn' bothered him so much then he should probably stay away from me and Mar. Escort or not. "Sorry to offend your virgin ears." I drawled sarcastically. Grabbing my plate and some food for me and Mar I got up.

"Wait Alnus!" Finnick called.

"What Odair?"

"How's she been? How's… how's her family?"

"You know, the usual." I glanced over my shoulder. "Watched each member of her blood family die in her arms. Been beaten down, used, belittled and forced to do things no one should ever have to do. Nonstop for the last six years." Finnick's face paled. Good, maybe the bastard does have a heart. "Had her one ounce of hope for happiness ripped out by the boy who was supposed to be her best friend." That one hurt him. Good. "Still manages to get up and put the other kids first." With that I started towards Mar's room. Maybe that was a mistake. Insulting Finnick so blatantly. As he is supposed to help keep us alive. But, Mar's history with Finnick isn't great. He pretending everything was fine was a dick move. Dude's a pompous ass though so I'm not surprised. Grunting could be heard from down the hall. Growing louder as I reached Mar's room. Door was slammed open and the room itself was a disaster zone. She'd flipped her mattress, gotten it pushed up against the wall somehow. Currently pounding it with no remorse. That's gonna leave rug burn marks on her knuckles.

"Breaking it in are you?" Her breathing was ragged. Rage permeating from the 5' 3" girl. "You know I thought it was soft enough." Her glare could be felt from across the room. I did turn to acknowledge her rage. My expression echoed back anger, and exhaustion. Among other things. "Eat." It feels weird telling her what to do. Her grumbling grew closer to the table. She damn near broke the chair with the way she yanked it away from the table. Her gaze was fixed on the dark wood grain as she bit furiously into her food. Every chew was out of anger. We sat in silence. It's the best thing to do when she's like this. Just wait till the storm has passed. Her grunting quieted, watching her out of the corner of my eye, still keeping the same position, figure now's as good as any time to test the waters. "That's your thinking face." I muttered. "You got a plan?" My body faced hers slowly, she had my full attention. After a pause she nodded. "Then let's get to work."

We'd been at it for hours when a knock broke our concentration. Papers and sketches littered the table. The door opened and Euripides poked his head in.

"Lunch is ready." He stated after surveying the room. I nodded, gathering up the papers.

"We don't need those to eat." Mar snipped.

"I want to show them to our mentors to see their opinions." Mar scoffed angrily. "I'll do the talking sunshine." She was still grumbling under her breath. Everyone looked surprised to see that we'd showed up. Mar sat down in the same chair as breakfast. Ignoring everyone around her. I sat down clearing my throat. "We drew these up." I handed the papers over to Mags. "I'd like your opinions." Mags nodded. Mar kept surprisingly quiet. Mags was mumbling incoherent words. Euripides got up and stood behind Mags and Finnick.

"These are costume designs!" he shrieked in shock. Mar jumped, she looked at our escort with a raised brow.

"Yes they are." His pale blue skin turned purple.

"Who knew your brain could still function after all that crap you're covered with." Mar mumbled. Just quiet enough for me to hear. She was trying to hold back. But if she can't shut her mouth, then she whispers.

"How DARE you!" the newly colored man roared. I didn't listen to his rant. I know for sure Mar wasn't listening. He stopped to breathe for a moment.

"Have you finished your tantrum?" Mar asked, popping another little berry in her mouth. I couldn't help but smirk. That got the powder puff riled up again.

"Euripides calm down." Finnick soothed. He turned to look between Mar and I. "These are really good."

"I'm aware." Mar quipped. Finnick scowled. "Look, no disrespect to whatever fluffy fru fru person was going to dress us up, but this is MY life on the line here. The parade is our first exposer. First impression. And I will not go out there dressed like… that" Mar gestured towards Euripides lip curled in disgust."

"I'll have you know that this is the latest fashion from the cap" Thank god Finnick interrupted the purple faced man before he got started again.

"You've got a plan already?"

"Yeah, it's a popularity contest. So we have to make them like me. Sell our stories. It's fucking sick. But I made a promise. I always keep my promises."

"I can think of a few you didn't"

"Back at you Capitol Darling." The air started getting tense I knew Mar was getting pissed. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in close.

"Mar, just breath okay. Breath." She nodded taking deep breathes. I looked up at Odair and he looked pissed. That's interesting. Mags started babbling. "What do you think?" She nodded with a smile and gave a thumbs up.

"What's your plan?" Finnick bites out.

"Kiss enough Capitol ass to get home." Mar grumbled. Finnick wasn't impressed. Mags looked amused.

"We're going to play up our personal strengths. Mar's is that she is a survivor. Nothing keeps her down. She only stays down if that's where she wants to be." Finnick's gaze moved from Mar to me.

"And yours?"

"I'm the protective older brother. Willing to do anything to get my sister home. So she can take care of my girlfriend and our baby…" The compartment dropped to silence.

"She told you then?" Mar's voice was soft.

"Yeah." I bit out. "I'll never get to hold my kid. Fantastic right?"

"The odds are never in our favor." The distance in her voice almost reached home. It was true. The near silent hum of the train was the only sound taking up the space

"We'll be in the capitol in an hour. I'll give these to your stylists." Finnick broke the quiet.

I nodded in reply "Thanks."

"I want to meet with them first." Mar piped up. "They need to know what we are going for."

"And what is that?" Euripides asked with venom in his voice.

"We. Are. Survivors." Mar enunciated every word. "And the others don't stand a chance."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You've never taken a life before." Finnick's voice was cold and angry. Mar met Finnick's gaze with fire and anger in her emerald eyes.

"Yes, I have."

Mar's POV

The shock on their faces was expected. The disbelief too. Then as the idea settled Euripides started to look at me like I was a monster. He didn't know why. No one did. Not even Al. I felt strong arms pull me up, leading out of the room towards the back of the train. I took a seat watching as the world whipped by. Al didn't sit. It was a while before he spoke.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?"

"No." My voice was flat and cold. "I'm a killer. End. Of. Story." A large sigh left his mouth as he flopped on the couch. I didn't glance his way I just watched the world pass us by.

"You always have a reason for everything you do Mar. You are not a killer." I was in his face in an instant.

"Everyone is a killer if they choose to be. It was my choice."

"And you had a reason Mar, you always do!"

"So what?"

"What was it Mar? Huh? I'm dying, you can't even tell me the truth?"

"The truth is an ugly thing." I breathed. "It isn't good enough. We deserve better than the truth. Better than this reality."

"Mar," Al grabbed my face. It had been 6 months and I still remember it like it was yesterday. "What happened?" My eyes were tearing up. I shook my head. I didn't want to tell him.

"I can't you'll hate me."

"Mar, I'll never hate you. Please tell me. Please." His eyes were begging me to tell him the truth. I don't know why I finally broke but I did.

"Do you remember the attacks that had been happening to the girls? About 8 months ago?" I started after a deep breath. "After the sunset? How they would come home bruised and beaten, or just wouldn't come home." He nodded gently, coaxing me to continue. "You remember that creep Cetus?"

"Yeah I remember that punk. He sailed his boat off and was never seen again."

"He didn't sail shit. I rigged the boat." Confusion settled in his eyes. Waiting. I didn't want to give. It was my burden to bare.

"Mar, just tell me what happened." I took a deep breathe trying to keep the tears from forming in my eyes.

"He tried to rape Cory." My voice was above a whisper. "She was late for dinner. I'd gone looking for her. It had been a long night already. I was worn to pieces from the job I'd just finished." I tried forcing the bile back into my stomach thinking about all of the jobs I had to perform at home. "I'd rounded a corner and there they were." Voice shaking and uneven "He was on top of her. Ripping her clothes to shreds. Hitting her non-stop." Tears were prickling in my eyes. Meeting Al's gaze for the first time I continued with desperation. "Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head. I… thought he had killed her." The fear I felt at that moment surging back. It choked me again. "I rushed forward in an instant. Not thinking. Because thinking is for smart people and I am not smart." With a bitter chuckle I tore my gaze from Al and back to the world that was whipping by. "Tore that big bastard off of her. Screaming for her to run. He'd just beaten her he hadn't…" I already started the story. Shuttered and faster breaths started to leave my lungs at the thought. "Hadn't gotten to anything else… yet." Poor sweet Cory having to have her innocence stolen like that. She had been so close to losing her innocence. And her life. "She managed to get up. I honestly don't know how, her head was bleeding. All I could do was hold him off until she got out of sight. Praying she didn't die before she got home."

"He was 6' 2" and at least 200 pounds Mar." Al's voice was thick with disbelief.

"I know…" another strangled chuckle passed my quivering lips "He kicked the shit out of me. Tried raping me too. He… was hard and pissed that his 'conquest' had gotten away. He wanted 'new meat' not some tired whore." Behind my eyes I could see the smug bastard. Feel every hit, every rip of my hair. He tore it out in chunks. "He went on like that for a while. Managed to shove his tongue in my mouth. Usual dominance thing." Glancing at Al it was clear he was put off by my sudden apathetic tone. It was true though. "That turned into the biggest mistake of his life." You started the story now finish it. Darkness the one I shove into the pit of my stomach as far away from the world as I can. It flourished at the memory. "I bit it off. Blood poured out of his mouth, and mine. I had his tongue in my mouth. He let go of my hands screaming bloody murder. It was this animalistic sound. I can still hear it ringing in my head when it gets too quiet…" I could hear it now… Finish the story Mar. With a shake of my head I kept going. "I spit his tongue out. Looking up at him. And He was pissed. The blood in his mouth did nothing to stall the rage in his eyes. They screamed everything. He was going to kill me. Rape wasn't enough anymore. And all I could think was I can't die. In seconds I'd snapped his neck." My shoulders started to shake violently with each passing second. I looked to my brother, finally allowing the tears to fall. "It was easier than opening an oyster Al…. it was disgustingly easy…. I didn't even have to try." A sob or maybe a gasp passed Al's lips. Maybe? I was there again. In the rain. "And then I'm covered in his blood and he's dead. We were still in the slums so no one cared really but if some Peace Keeper came by on patrol I'd be shot on sight." My speech picking up pace as I continued. "We were close to an old dock though. And there was a little row boat. I started dragging his body towards it as it started to rain. I don't remember much after that. Just the rain cutting into my skin. Washing away the blood. Then the pain of my arms as I rowed out to sea. How I gasped for breath with every stroke I took as I swam inland. I was maybe a mile or two off shore. I'd gotten the shit kicked out of me, I was tired, there had to be at least a few broken bones. But… um yeah I shoved the boat towards the sea and then swam back to shore. Laid on the beach crying for a bit. Then got myself together and came home. I went swimming a lot after jobs, so no one really noticed. Cory didn't know either. I told her I threatened to kill him. Not that I actually had. But on the plus side he'd never hurt anyone like that ever again. On the bad side… I've been reliving that night constantly for the last 6 months and the guilt is eating me alive."

"I told you that you always have a reason."

"That's what you say? I tell you how I murdered a guy and that's what you say?"

Finnick's POV

I'd followed them to the end of the train. Standing in the door way the entire time. They didn't even look up. Tears were pouring down my face. She didn't deserve this. She. She was like me. I was supposed to be protecting her by staying away, and I left her on her own. I, how could I be so stupid! Why didn't I look for her after the fire?! Huh?! Why?! She's needed me for years. Then… at my reaping, our first kiss. My first kiss. And it was with my best friend as she begged me to come back to her. But I never did. I broke that promise…. I knew that. I've known that for years, but seeing the damage it did, hit all the harder.

"What else am I supposed to say Mar? The bastard got what he deserved! You did the right thing!"

"It doesn't feel right! I shouldn't have to kill to keep my loved ones safe. I shouldn't have to be treated like trash and beg to try and stay alive… I …. I… I shouldn't ne..need to sl..eep with disgusting men in order to keep food on the t..table!" I couldn't hold back the chocked sob that escaped my lips as I took in what she had become. I could have been helping her this whole time. She wasn't better off… They both snapped their heads in my direction. Tears adorning their faces as well.

"I don't need you judging me Odair. But hey, at least now you know you were right to drop me like a piece of trash. Cause that's all I've amounted to. But you wouldn't know anything about that would you?" Her voice was filled with venom as she shoved past me. More tears left my face.

"I understand more than you know…" I breathed out. Grabbing the door frame as the reality hit me full force.

"How could you possibly understand Odair? You've never gone hungry a day in your life." I swallowed hard looking Al straight in the eyes. Something in them changed. It was like he could read my thoughts. It was honestly scary. He looked confused. But something in my eyes told him I was telling the truth. The older man clapped my shoulder with a gentle squeeze and walked past. The weight on my shoulders just increased tenfold. The car door closed and I was alone with my thoughts. My knees finally buckled as my sobs echoed off the glass walls.

Eventually I ran myself dry. I needed to talk to her. To hold her and beg for forgiveness. I'd let my best friend down in the worst way. I had to tell her the truth. That I was protecting her. She'd probably scream in my face about how it was none of my business. But I, had to try. I sat in front of her door knocking for a solid 10 minutes. I rested my forehead waiting for another 5. I finally gave up and headed to the bar car for a drink. I'd curbed my drinking habit a bit. Gotten it under control. But I still had a glass or six on a bad day. The train was always stocked with my favorite liquors. I grabbed the bottle of whisky. Looked at a glass, reaching out to pick it up, but deciding against it. I didn't want to count the glasses today anyway. Then the tunnel to the capitol appeared… I had to put my mask back on. I checked my eyes in the mirror, they were puffy and bloodshot. I went to my room breaking out my kit. Within minutes I was picture perfect. Taking a deep breath I walked out of my room. Hearing the others in the main car I headed that way. Mentally preparing for what was to come.

Mar's POV

Euripides had spent the last 10 minutes scolding Al and I for crying. 'You'll make a bad impression which will reflect poorly on me.' Tittering about how he 'thought we were supposed to be strong.' If I wasn't so exhausted I would have strangled him here and now. Finally he sighed and shoved us towards the windows.

"Smile, wave!" I looked over to Al. His face looked tired too. He gave me a shake of his head. We were sticking to the plan.

"Alright guys! This is it! Time to make a good impression!" Finnick's cheery voice was the exact opposite of how he'd sounded 45 minutes ago. I just glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Nose curling in utter disgust. The train came to a halt and he gave us his capitol smile. "Show time." Finnick was the first one out. Al looked at me.

"Show time." His voice held more malice, it almost matched what was growing in my heart. I nodded shortly. Al went out first. Turning to help me off of the steps. Already treating me like I was a princess. We stood tall walking hand in hand. Flinching when a camera flashed too close. Our faces remained blank as we observed the Capitol crowd. They looked ridiculous. Shouting and waving obscenely. We didn't smile as they called our names. Or grin as they threw flowers. Our faces stayed collected. According to the plan. I wanted to scream, to flip them off. To tell them exactly what I thought of the Capitol and their Games. But now is not the time.

The training center was almost silent. To the point where my ears began ringing in the much desired quiet.

"I called ahead and told your stylist you'd like to meet with them. I'll lead you to them, then I have to attend to some business. But I'll see you at the parade." His gaze stayed on me longer than Al. He nodded for me. I still felt numb. I always do after reliving the past. Two Capitol people were waiting on a bench talking calmly. We approached them and the male instantly jumped up. His puffy pants and wig jolting at the movement.

"Finnick darling! It's so good to see your beautiful face again! You're just a bright ray of sunshine lighting up this dreary day." I raised my eye brow at the man's obvious flirting. Finnick returned the compliments. Voice smooth a silk.

"One of the best parts of the Games is coming to work with you two brilliant designers. I hope you don't mind this little favor?"

"Oh no, anything for you Finnick."

"So Finnick, are these our tributes?" The woman looked colder. Harder. I liked her already. She was wearing actual pants. Not some ridiculous get up that looked like she was a balloon. Her sweater was still sleek. I could tell that she was no nonsense kind of a person.

"Yes.." Before he could turn to introduce us my favorite blue poof blocked our view.

"Oh Finnick, I know you have a lot of work to get done. I'll handle the tributes and get everything squared away." He's shoving us away with more force than I'd imagine.

"I wanted to talk to them."

"Oh, Don't worry dear, I'll take care of it." Euripides voice was so sweet it made my teeth rot. He shoved us away from the stylists and Mags. My prep team looked me over quickly getting to work. After a good 3 layers of my skin had been removed the green haired one started clucking about all of my scars.

"So many imperfections." That pissed me off. "Here we've got something that will get rid of those ugly scars."

"No." My voice was firm, it was the first time that I had spoken in their presence. They all looked terrified at my voice. I was glaring at them with every ounce of hatred I could muster.

"No one in the capitol is going to like these nasty scars."

"I don't care about what the capitol likes. These scars prove something important."

"That you don't care about your appearance?" The short yellow one quaffed.

"No." I paused standing angrily. "That I'm a survivor." No one moved for a few minutes. I dared any of them to try anything. The oldest finally clapped her hands.

"We're wasting time. Come on we've still got work to do." I glared at her. "The scars will stay little survivor." She had a gentle gleam in her eyes. I nodded and sat back down. I was soon lathered in more products then I ever thought would exist. The three started to chirp about Capitol gossip.

"Have you seen Finnick yet this year?"

"Not yet." The short yellow one wined.

"I know he is the sexiest thing to ever grace this earth." The pink one chirped.

"Those eyes?!"

"And his abs! Ugh, what I wouldn't give to spend an evening with that man." The pink one groaned in desire.

"He's sixteen." My voice cut through the fumes and their petty chatter. My icy glare meeting every shocked face. "He's not a man. He's sixteen years old. Besides, how old are you, 35?!" With a scoff she moved forwards

"I am 30 years young thank you! But I woul-"

"So you could have a son that would be Finnick's age. Would you want to fuck him too?" Usually my anger boiled my blood. But this? It was a cold and biting fury. Anger was building on her over processed face as well.

"No I couldn't because I have class and am not a whore." I snorted at that.

"No just a pedophile." At that the short yellow one and the pink one yanked me out of the tub. Dried me off with the itchiest towel I'd ever felt. Soon I was lathered in hot sticky goop. They applied it thickly. The yellow and pink one grinning viciously. No chatter was made. Did they expect me to cry out in pain? My life is pain. This, this is nothing. At least I'd let them think that. They weren't going to win.

An hour later they stopped that assault. My skin was red and blotchy as they lathered me in a very pungent oil. My skin looked perfect, but it burned like a son of a bitch. The yellow and pink devils smiled at me widely. I'd managed to only wince slightly when the pain was extreme. The next shoved me into a chair and started to cut my hair. One went to work on my teeth and nails. Beyond the blinding bright light above my head I could see two of the three smile wider at my wincing. They were yanking my hair. Stabbing my gums, and cutting into my nails. I don't know how long this went on. I was too busy trying not to jump out of the fucking chair and strangle them.

"Uh oh! Time to go!" The pink one clapped. "Aralia is waiting." The older one glanced at the clock.

"If you two had actually done your jobs we would have finished everything." The pink one shrugged.

"Who cares? She'll be dead soon anyway." There's that hot burning rage. I stood from the chair bumping the pink one.

"When I win, you will regret this." I said in the deadliest voice I could imagine. There was a door where I assumed this Aralia was. Without direction I barged in, still very naked. My anger distracting me from any embarrassment I should be feeling. Honestly, 4 more people seeing me naked was not the end of the world. The woman from earlier had been sitting in a chair, she looked up at me in horror as I walked forward.

"What were they drunk?!" she started tutting whilst circling me like a very unhappy vulcher.

"No i pissed the pink one off." She stopped, barely visible in my peripheral vision.

"You're supposed to be trying to make people like you." A shake of her head followed her comment. That's rich.

"I don't want pedophiles to like me. Thank you." Sass dripping from every word. She moved in front of me more, a surprised smirk dancing on her lips.

"You don't have much of a filter do you?" I shrugged, indifferent to the whole thing. The pink one's comment pissed me off, but it also gave me a great angle to play. And man am I good at playing angles.

"I figure, I'm probably going to be dead in two weeks, might as well have fun while i can" Aralia turned her back to me gathering a few things.

"Or you could be nice and not be killed." Her voice was light, but also held an amount of superiority that I was not going to tolerate.

"Me being nice doesn't guarantee a win. It might help. Sure. But nothing's guaranteed. Not in the games. If I'm going to die soon, i want to have as much fun as possible." My stare hardened through my speech. She was put off. Good, these people are unbelievable. But, business is business. "Now let me see the dress"

"Excuse me?" It came out as more of a demand. One she wasn't expecting clearly. But I'm having a hard day.

"What you haven't started anything yet?" my shock and disbelief are soon replaced with excitement. "Great! I can tell you what I want then."

"Excuse me?!" Outrage, mmm might have gone too far with that one. Her eyes were furrowing, a snarl starting to form. Time to defuse the time bomb! The guilt card is my least favorite one to play. But they clearly think I'm below them. Calling them out on it can go one of two ways. They want to prove me wrong and help me. Or they admit they hate me and then I'm screwed.

"I'm going to die in 7 days, let me have my fun! It's a dying wish to a poor orphan from District Four. Are you really that cold?" Guilt flashed in her eyes. Thank god. I cannot deal with more torture. She grabs a bag and unzips it. Inside is the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. It shines like the ocean on a bright sunny day. I don't even touch it, in fear of ruining its beauty.

"It's so beautiful…" I managed to breathe out. She smiled gently at my awe. But this isn't going to work. "Do you have anything else?" glancing back at the perfect dress "This isn't going to work."

"What?!" her pride turns to anger quick.

"It's too beautiful. This. This belongs on a princess or something. In that I'd look like a sea goddess."

"That was my plan." She bit out, angry but confused.

"It's not going to work though. We are 2 poor wayward orphans who washed up in the Capitol from District four. It's just... too beautiful. Wrong feel. Save it for a tribute you actually like, yeah?" Her jaw dropped as she just gaped at me openly. A few minutes passed of her just staring at me. "So, do you not have anything else… or?"

"What do you want?" it wasn't a snap, but her voice wasn't pleased either.

"Canvas, netting, hooks, shells. I asked the powder puff to give you the pictures, i assume he didn't." demon powder puff

"You drew designs?" Something new was mixing in with her voice. I'm not sure what.

"Yeah, no offense to you or anything. But this is my moment. If I die i want my kids to look back and still see the me they love. Ya know?" She turned from putting the dress away and gapped openly again.

"You...you have kids?

"23." I paused. "Oh, 24 soon! I almost forgot." Her jaw was almost on the floor. "Why are you looking at me like that? The other orphans. What is compassion really that rare here? Such a sad place." I started to ramble a bit, midsentence my stylist just leaves. Smacking my hand to my forehead a groan of frustration rumbles out. The insults just slip out. And keep coming. This place is crazy! It's getting impossible to keep biting my tongue. I'll bite it off if I'm not careful. Aralia walks back in with a lump of canvas in her hands. It's a poorly constructed dress. A giant smile blooms on my face. "That's what I'm talking about!" Avox's soon follow with more fabric, shells, hooks, rope and netting. "Oh rope! Great thinking! How could I forget honestly?" The pile of poorly constructed canvas actually fits well. Aralia was standing back. The Avox's stood waiting for instruction.

Aralia's POV

"Cool, okay, um, rope first. The thick one? Great. Can you tie that around my waist? Right under my boobs. Wait! Give me some netting first. Yeah, great idea! Drape it over the rope then tie it. We can secure it with hooks. Cool! Can someone bring me scissors?" This tribute continued on, she was polite and sweet. Thanking the Avox's as they assisted her. I want to see what she comes up with. I'd been trying for a similar angle but had given up. Nothing I'd made looked right. The sea goddess look was old and over used, but the dress was beautiful. The awe that had shown on her face meant she clearly agreed. Seeing her interacting with the Avox's, it astounded me. The dress started to take form, there was a piece of netting and canvas that needed to be attached.

"Let me help." I brought over needle and thread. I kept quiet as she ripped and tore away parts of the dress, only to replace it with netting or frayed fabric. She looked… beautiful.

"Could you please tie some of this rope and seaweed into my hair?" She directed everyone with precision. But most of all genuine kindness. It was a rare sight in the Capitol.

"I'm going to step out for a bit." The girl didn't pay attention, but I didn't expect her to. I needed to have a talk with Euripides. An Avox was standing near a door waiting. "Please find Euripides and bring him here." With a silent nod the Avox went on its way. Ten minutes later the puffy blue escort flitted this way.

"Is she giving you trouble?" His voice was not chipper in any way. My steely resolve didn't change. I was not fond of the man. But we have to work together.

"May I have the designs she asked you to give her." His composer slipped for a second before he regained himself. "You threw them out didn't you?"

"Excuse me, but I was helping you. That trashy little witch doesn't stand a chance. Why tarnish your good name with her abomination." A smirk played on my lips.

"Abomination, huh? She's still getting the dress together. We'll just have to wait and see." His eyes bulged as I turned back into the prep room. I like her so much more now. Now that's motivation to rub into that jerks smug pudgy face. I'd been working on a special fabric. I hadn't completed it yet, this will either be a disaster or a miracle. We'll have to see. "Drape this around you." I instructed. She looked up. Her hair was mess and rugged. Her scars shown clearly on her skin despite the tan. She was right, it was a good look. This is going to be perfect. "Come on, I'm your stylist, you're supposed to trust me." She gave an undignified snort but allowed me to drape the fabric around her. She only needed a little make up, around her eyes. So highlight the storm that hid beneath the pale green orbs. A light amount of glitter was placed in all the right places. She'd just come out of the sea. Washed up on the Capitol shore. Standing back and admiring our work I couldn't help my smile. "You've got a great eye for design. You ready to take the Capitol by storm?" She nodded. "Good, cause we're late. Here are your shoes, no time to argue."

Mar's POV

Heels, great! Wait what do I look like? I didn't have time to ask because she was dragging me out the door, down the hall. Looking down I noticed that as the fabric ruffled the white turned slightly gray. I stopped and started to shake the skirt. "We. Are. Late!" She whispered in my ear before she pushed me out the door. I was standing in a courtyard. There were 12 chariots lined up. I looked around for Al and saw him standing next to Finnick who was speaking with someone else. They weren't in costume so I assumed they were a mentor. The skirt wasn't too long, there was some netting that trailed behind me. From what I could see I looked like I wanted clicking of my heels drew attention towards me. Everyone appeared to have already arrived. I was just focusing on keeping my face straight and getting to Al without falling over. These heels are a creation of the devil.

Al saw me first. He was mid-sentence when he broke into a shit eating grin. He met me half way.

"Thank you." I breathed softly. "These shoes are going to kill me." He was smiling so wide. His eyes full of pride and admiration.

"You look so beautiful." His voice was gentle.

"Are you sure it's really me, because I think they gave me a body transplant when I wasn't looking." I murmured to him. Al took my arm with a chuckle leading me towards Mags and Finnick. I noticed how quiet the area had gotten. Al and I looked around and everyone's eyes were on us. All of the guys were drooling. It made my skin crawl. I gripped Al's arm tighter.

"They touch you and I'll kill them." He murmured in my ear.

"They touch me and you won't get the chance." I countered back. Sharing a smirk we reached Finnick and Mags. Finnick's jaw was still hanging on the floor. I raised an eyebrow at him. Al cleared his throat. That seemed to slightly snap him from his daze. It was amusing to see him so flustered. Al stood next to me puffing with pride, while daring anyone to say anything to me with his glare. Moments later the two stylists came bounding over with a parcel in their hands.

"Up." Aralia commanded. Moments later the announcement came over the speaker requesting all tributes mount their chariots. Aralia and the guy were both grinning like mad men. They each draped a thin cape over Al and I. They clipped into cuffs that rested on our wrists. Aralia stood back.

"Damn we're good." Was all that the guy stated.

"Go blow them away." Aralia smirked. Finnick hadn't said anything. Mags came over patting our hands lightly with a large toothless smile. I gave her a soft smile back. Rolling my shoulders I got ready for the show.

"Remember the game plan?"

"No smiling."

"No laughing."

"We aren't here to play."

"We're here to blow them away." Just as Al finished the chariot lurched forward. We grabbed hands and stood tall. The sound of the crowds was deafening. It only continued to grow as we moved along. I glanced at a screen only to see it was focused on us. Our capes flew behind us. Looking just like storm clouds, flashes of lightning could even be seen. My dress was a rush of tormented waves mixing with an angry sky. The guy was right. Damn they were good. And I, I was beautiful. I looked at Al smirking, he returned the gesture. My joy was short lived. We grew closer to the Capitol building. Occupied by our President. Cornelius Snow. My face hardened in and instant. My grip tightening on Al's hand. I felt him glance at me, but kept my eyes forward and face cold.

"Welcome, and Happy Hunger games!" Snow's voice boomed over the area. "We are glad to welcome you brave tributes to the capitol! May the odds be ever in your favor." His voice made my skin crawl. Our eyes met for a moment. Before the chariot jerked forward towards the living quarters. Al hopped down first, helping me down to the ground. I gave him a grateful smile. I felt everyone's glares on us as we sauntered towards the elevator, they only cause a smirk to once again play on my lips.

"That was AMAZING!" Aralia squealed in absolute excitement. It seemed way out of character for her. She took my other arm and began to help me towards the lift. "You my dear could be the next big thing." She laughed happily the male stylist tittered on about how popular we were going to be now. I muttered softly.

"I don't want to be the next big thing. I want to go home." Al gave my arm a squeeze.

"Well my dear. That entrance gave you a huge leap closer." Aralia exclaimed.

"Aralia, how did you manage to make her dress? She's in rags and is no doubt the loveliest tribute here!" The male stylist quipped

"That was all her. I just helped here and there." His jaw dropped

"You defiantly blew them away." Finnick commented with a soft smile. I nodded in thanks. Soon we were on the fourth floor. It was gaudy and over decorated, of course. All I really wanted was to take these damn shoes off. Euripides started a tour and I waved him off. Kicking the demon heels off with distaste.

"I know they are big on torture here, but shit." I muttered collapsing onto one of the couches. Al laughed at me. I gave him a warning glare. He raised his hands in defense.

"Need a foot rub?" Finnick commented. "I could arrange one." I raised my eyebrows in horror and disgust.

"No, that's weird. Don't touch my feet. Don't touch me at all." I snapped. Al gave me a sharp elbow. "OW!"

"He was just being nice." Al whisper yelled at me.

"I don't care he doesn't get to touch my feet. That's weird!"

"I give Ruddy foot massages all the time."

"Yeah you are also her amazing loving boyfriend. That's different."

"Your feet hurt, he's trying to help." Al smirked. "Besides he probably meant a masseuse or something."

"What the hell is that?"

"They give you massages."

"Ew, no I don't want some stranger touching me!"

"Do you want me to give you a foot rub?"

"No you weirdo." Al soon shifted and started reaching towards my feet.

"Stop whining it will help."

"Gah! Why does everyone want to touch my feet!?" I exclaimed loudly. Bolting up I huffed out of the room. Dress trailing behind me. I could hear Al laughing as I stormed away. Mental note: steal all of his blankets.

Finnick's POV

She was so cute when she was flustered. Al eventually stopped laughing. A genuine smile on his face. He seemed at peace. Like the games didn't exist and he wasn't going to enter his death in less than a week. "Well if you'll excuse me. I'm going to go wash this stuff off." He smiled at everyone then headed towards his room as well.

"That's a rare smile Odair." Aralia smirked my way. Both she and Mags giving a knowing look. Mags knew how much I missed Mar. I was her sharkfin and she was my marmaid. It feels like centuries ago. I had to keep my distance to keep her out of danger. But here she was anyway. I should have never pushed her away. I should have ran into her arms the second I got back. My smile dropped. There was a knock on the door. An Axox answered, soon returning and handing me a letter. Every shred of happiness left my body as I saw the writing. I silently walked to my room to get ready. I wanted to cry. I would probably get drunk later. I'd wanted to on the train; that desire just multiplied. I was walking towards my room, I heard Mar and Al talking in hers.

"You hurt his feelings Mar."

"Shut up Al."

"He still cares about you. He looks at you like you are the most precious thing on this earth."

"Shut up Al." Her voice was monotone.

"Mar, maybe he had a reason, you never gave him a chance to explain."

"I don't want to hear it Al." Her voice was cracking.

"Mar, everyone who knows you knows how much you miss him. Just, talk to him."

"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AL!" she screamed. There was a slap that could be heard. There was heavy breathing. "You know why he didn't come around after my parents died? Because orphans are trash. You know… you know what I've had to do Al. I've been fucked by half of the men in Four. I am a whore."

"Mar you had no cho"

"There is always a choice Al!"

"Marjorie Louise Scur! You have sacrificed EVERYTHING you've ever had to help others. Do this one thing for yourself."

"No…" her voice was so broken. "Who is ever going to want a whore Al? Huh? Why the hell would Finnick EVER want me again? I'm not that girl. The one he knew. If he'd want any part of me it would be her. I will never be that way again and I'd disappoint him constantly. I. I can't handle that Al. You said it yourself I sacrifice everything I have to help others. I don't want to have him Al. Because I'll lose him. Like everything else." My heart broke. I wanted to storm in the room and scream 'I want you!' tell her over and over again how beautiful she is, how strong. How we were exactly the same. What was waiting for her when she got out of the arena. A gentle hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. Mags looked up at me with sad eyes. She gave me a gentle squeeze. "I have the games to win Al." Her voice was shaking with emotion. "I'm losing you, I'm going into an arena where 22 other people are going to try and kill me violently. I have to suck up to the fucking capitol in order to keep myself alive… I… I can't have a distraction Al. I need to focus."

"He could be your strength."

"I have Ari and Ruddy to get back to and protect."

"You wouldn't need to protect him Mar, he's Finnick Odair."

"I'm saving us both from disappointment. It's better this way Al."

"You're lying to yourself."

"Then for the love of god lie to me as well." She choked out a sob. Mags squeezed my shoulder again. Tears in her eyes as well. I had to go… I had to go be everything I hate. With a deep breath I pushed everything down. 'It's show time'

Mar's POV

Al wrapped his arms around me and I broke down again. I have so many people to protect and no matter what I do it seems I let them down or I succeed but become even more of a monster. He let me cry into his chest for who knows how long. Eventually dinner came around. I wasn't hungry. I told him to go without me. Luckily he actually listened. After ten minutes the walls started closing in around me and I felt like I was standing on the edge of this huge cavern and no one was there to pull me back. I had to get out of there before my thoughts got worse. I entered the dining car to see Finnick was missing. The mood was somber. Al looked up at me with a small smile. I sat down and started to nibble on some bread.

"Finnick had… business to attend to. The life of a victor and all that…" Euripides managed to choke out. The words were most defiantly forced. Mags had a faraway look in her eyes. This wasn't good business, whatever he was doing. 'Could it be?' No, he's a victor. He's Finnick Odair. Probably shacking up with some hot piece of Capitol ass. The thought made my stomach drop. Why the hell do I care? 'Because you still love him stupid.' The voice in the back of my head stated. We were just kids, what the hell did we know about love? We didn't know a thing about the world then. I can't love him. What's love anyway? It's not worth the pain.

After a silent and sad dinner everyone when off on their own. Finnick hadn't returned yet. As pissed as I am at him for pretending everything is fine between us, I was starting to worry. It was going on 1 am. We had training the next day and I should have been sleeping. But something told me sitting in the living room waiting for him to come back is where I needed to be. He managed to stumble in around 2. The lights came on and he didn't seem to realize he wasn't alone. His hair was a mess and his shirt was ripped, a few buttons missing. His eyes were red and his movements stiff. My stomach dropped and I knew. A sob escaped my lips. His eyes snapped to mine. Showing nothing by regret and remorse.

"W-what are you doing up?" He managed, his voice was on edge, and rougher than it had been. Despair. Self-loathing. Heart-break. In seconds I crossed the room wrapping him up in a firm hug. Crying onto his shoulder.

"You don't deserve this. You're actually worth something." I mumbled over and over again. He pushed me away.

"Don't touch me." His voice was cold but empty.

"How long Finn?" My voice was breaking with despair and pain. If I thought I'd hurt before, this it was too much. He was a victor for Christ sakes! He was the most popular man in Panem. He was the most popular man in Panem…. I choked out another sob. "Since you won? You… you were 14 Fin! Oh my god…" He wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't move. I cupped his face in my hands. "Is this what's waiting for me when I come out Fin?" my voice was breaking. I hadn't felt this much in years. It was my third breakdown in the time span of 48 hours. I'm falling to pieces. And right before the games. "Fin I need to know. Is this what's waiting for me?"

"Yes."

"And, if I say no?" I had a feeling that I already knew the answer.

"The people you love will be the victim of unfortunate accidents." Jayden…

"Jay….Is-is that why…?" tears were pouring down both of our faces. He nodded. He was swallowing hard trying to hold the tears back. Taking deep breathes, but he was losing the battle.

"I, had to protect you…" he looked into my eyes. More fire in them then I'd seen since we got here. "He couldn't know about you." His voice was shaking. "That's why…" His voice trailed off. I rested my forehead on his, our breaths mingling as we struggled to get a grip of ourselves. "I didn't know how bad it was… for you…" his voice cracked again. His agony, it was like a knife to the heart. "I didn't know…" The world was gone, what was left was an unrelenting weight. All the years I'd spent hating him for leaving me. For breaking his promise, he was suffering too. Too wrapped up in my own hell to care that he was trapped in his own. I had broken my promise. We were in a vacuum, both of us. A tube. A glass house. Trapped in a prison no one bothers to see. – People see what they want to see – He needs the truth…

"It started when I was 15." I choked a sob down. "I was trying to sell my catch at the market… no one wanted to buy the fish from a filthy orphan." I took a staggered breath. "But there was a man who was watching me. As I moved from vendor to vendor. They all turned me away. The man approached me. Promised me $50. All I had to do was come to his house later that night. I was desperate. Kari was pregnant, close to having the baby. She needed to see a doctor, but we couldn't afford one. I agreed immediately. The largest smile on my face. Kari and the baby were going to live. He said he was just lonely and wanted some company. How would a 15 year old girl know what that really meant?" I forced out a bitter chuckle. "That's when it started, and it hasn't stopped. It's the only way I can keep the kids fed." Tears were streaming down my face. "It keeps them from taking tesserae. It keeps the boys from getting shot or beaten by Peace Keepers. It keeps everyone safe." Finnick's hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he gave me a squeeze. I looked into his eyes and we had an understanding. Everything we needed to say was told in our eyes. His told me that this is what was waiting for me when I got out. Mine told him I accepted my fate. I thought I'd been drowning before. His eyes? His real eyes. His honest eyes. It's too heavy, I can't handle both. I need to fix his. "At least I'm already trash right?" This reality is so horrible, you have to laugh to keep from crying. Finnick jerked my chin up. Jaw tense and eyes filled with anger.

"You. Are. Not. Trash." Each word was oozing rage. His whole body tense. "If you're trash then I'm trash. We've done the exact same things, for the exact same amount of time. For the exact same reasons." His thumb brushed away a tear. His hands were more calloused then I'd expect. Especially with how much the Capitol demands perfection. The contact igniting more feelings then I thought possible. How many of these damn things do I even have? I wanted these to stay. I wanted to be a breath away from him for the rest of my life. – Shit, I'm still in love - His thumb kept gently stroking my cheek as he stood there. He wasn't just staring. It was like he was trying to absorb ever second of this moment. I met his gaze, unknowingly attempting the same thing. Someone understands. Finnick understands. We've been through the same hell for the past year and a half. "I'm sorry I never came back." He whispered. Getting what you've wanted for years is bitter sweet when it's coming at one of the worst times possible. Time has never been on my side. –I'm going to fight for my death in 4 days Finnick, you say this now?-

"You – uh - probably want to shower huh?" Distance. I need distance from him. It would have been so much earlier if I could still hate him. Detachment. Distance. He isn't the same and neither am I. No happy ending, you only end up disappointed. He took a big gulp.

"Yeah, I'd like to wash tonight's events off of me." He sent a sad smile my way, which I returned. "You really need to get to sleep Mar. You start training in the morning." I nod looking down. Remembering where I am and why I'm here. A shuttered relay of more anguish rippling within my senses.

"It's like a slap in the face." I breathed. Meeting his perfect turquoise eyes. They were filled with concern. "I manage to forget for a second and then, I remember. It's like a slap in the face."

"I'm gonna get you out of there Mar, you're going to come home." I took a step back shaking my head.

"I'm going to get myself out of their Fin. I don't need to be saved. I save myself."

"No Mar," he said his voice breaking. "You save everyone else." I let out a half laugh.

"Close enough, yeah?" He shook his head with a sad smile.

"You need to sleep Mar. Please."

"I'll go try." My voice was soft, submissive, but not in a bad way. We walked down to our bedrooms. A soft smile shared as a good night. Once alone I ripped the blankets off of the sponge worthy mattress. It probably cost more than the orphanage. Disgusting. Making a little cocoon on the floor I laid down. It's the way I slept at home. Plus no beds in the arena. Training tomorrow. Well today actually. In about 5 hours… With a deep breath I cleared my thoughts and tried to sleep. Exhaustion and unconsciousness soon consumed me.

Seconds later I was being shaken awake. I groggily opened my eyes to see Al shaking me. Light was pouring through the window. I was disoriented. I didn't sleep much, so waking up from a dreamless sleep was so strange.

"wha time is it?" The words sounded muffled even to me. Al was smiling his big brother smile. I tried wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Bout 7:30. Training's in 30 minutes." That woke me up more.

"Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"You were actually sleeping Mar." he laughed. "Besides Finnick said not to wake you up, that you'd been up late." He sent a smirk my way. "You talk to him?" I moaned and nodded. His smirk turned into one of the widest smiles I've seen on his face in a long time. Narrowing my eyes I snapped.

"Where's the stupid suit?" Suddenly there was fabric on my head.

"Get dressed slow poke." I glared at his retreating form. He always teased me in the mornings. He'd stop soon though… Ugh I do not need these thoughts right now. Focus Mar. Get ready for training. And focus. I threw on the suit. It was skin tight. And showed off my ass, chest and hips a little too well.

"Seriously?" I rolled my eyes. Heading towards the dining car I snatched an apple and flopped on one of the couches. I glanced at the table and everyone was staring. "Take a picture it'll last longer." I mumbled grumpily.

"She still hates mornings then?" Fin asked.

"With a fiery passion." My response was to flip him the bird while I focused on my breakfast. "Euripides, for your safety I would advise you keep that comment to yourself." I rolled my eyes ready to tear into the capitol asshole. I looked at him waiting for him to say something. He huffed and continued to cut his toast with a fork and knife. Who does that? Just pick it up and eat it. Al and Finnick seemed to share a chuckle. I glared at both of them as well. Finished with my apple I hopped off the couch.

"Let's go slow poke." I sauntered towards the door, Al laughing and following.

"Slow down there tiger. I need to talk to you guys." Finnick called grabbing my elbow and pulling me back. Al joined my side. "You guys have a plan?"

"Duh." I drawled.

"We're going to focus on survival stations. We've got our climate in the bag, but we don't know how to survive anywhere else."

"Any thoughts about allies?" Finnick looked between me and Al.

"Predators can't be friends with their prey. It causes unnecessary complications." His eyebrow quirked.

"Your predators now?"

"Yup, but let's keep that between us. Who doesn't love surprises hmm?" Fin chuckled and nodded towards the door.

"Have fun, I'll be down later."

"…Business?" I asked voice wavering more than I'd like it.

"No meetings today." Fin grimaced. "At least not yet." Muscles relaxed without my consent. Dammit Mar Stop! Stop this now! Stop the feelings! With a nod a turned and entered the elevator. The door started to shut but Al wasn't by my side. Still rooted to the spot in front of the door.

"Do you really want to be late on your first day Al?" He was just standing there. In a daze. He snapped out of it, plastered a smile on his face and joined me. He's hiding something. This is not good.

Al's POV

While we were talking to Finnick I could feel my stomach jolt and my vision blur. It's getting worse. Mar and Finnick appeared to be on better terms. It's a god send. I need someone to look after her when I'm gone. She takes care of everyone BUT herself. I can trust him with her, I know I can. I felt dizzy as the elevator stopped.

"We should stick together." Mar stated. "I'm still tired, so I don't want to do anything strenuous." She knew something was up. Shit. I thought I was hiding it well. Secretly I'm grateful. I'd never admit I wasn't in good enough shape to do something. Mar knew that. We were the last team down. Everyone gathered around the head trainer. There were about 7 too many guys staring at Mar in her skin tight suit. I crossed my arms and glared. Mar keep her face blank and or annoyed. Focused on the trainer not the idiots drooling over her. Almost everyone did. She was beautiful, even as broken as she was. I was so proud of her, and scared. What if when I'm gone she stops fighting? Who will be there to change her mind? Will Finnick be around enough to do so? Will she even let him? Mar nudged my side gently, with questioning eyes. "Poisonous plants and foods station good for you?" I nodded trying to clear my head from fuzz.

"Yeah sounds good." We were sitting there for a few hours. I was trying to pay attention to the trainer, but I just couldn't focus. My head was full of fuzz. The trainer looked at me worriedly but Mar acted normal. Focused on learning as much as she could. No one came over to talk to us, which was good. We were already a team. We didn't need anyone else.

"Hey Fours! You gonna try a real station anytime soon?"

"Oh I don't see the point of trying to use weapons. With tributes like you to go against our best bet is to hide and hope you all die." Mar's voice was sickly sweet, still dead. How does she manage all of that? She works people well.

"I'd be happy to show you a thing or two honey." I looked over my shoulder at the guy who spoke. He was tall and blonde, must be from One. He was smirking. He had balls I'll give him that. He push too hard she was going to rip them off though.

"That's sweet, but you should work on your own stuff. We've only got a few days left you know." Mar sent me a glance and it was time to move. We started walking to the fire starting station.

"Hey Dan, will you stop drooling at that bitch and come here?!"

"Shut up Devi!"

"That's a fun dynamic." Mar muttered. "He's going to be trouble."

"He's from One it's expected." She hummed in response. This station was more hands on and it kept me focused a bit more. The stick fell out of my hand more than once. Mar started teasing me. Ease my frustration.

"I guess you just can't handle a big stick" That one made our trainer start choking he was laughing so hard. Mar and I both looked at the man in shock. "Shit, I'm not supposed to be killing people yet!" She kept going on, it made the poor bastard laugh more. "Okay, trainer guy. I need you to stop laughing now. Everyone is staring at me. Seriously." He didn't stop though. "Dude it's not that funny!" She was starting to get embarrassed and frustrated. I started laughing as well. Then guys started wheezing. Actual wheezing. Panicked Mar looked around with big eyes. Her eyes looked around there was a pale of water, she dumped it on the man. He yelped at the cold. But he'd finally stopped laughing. Her stance was defensive. Mar looked like she was going to either jump and give the man CPR or run for her life. She just didn't know which one yet. The trainer got up, his clothes very wet. Mar's stance relaxed. He looked between the two of us.

"She's dangerous," he said pointing towards Mar with a playful smirk. Mar's eyes widened. "That joke almost killed me." Before Mar could do or say anything the man walked away to change. Every single person in the training center was staring at us. Mar's face flushed in embarrassment.

"Shouldn't you lot be training?!" With a huff or a sigh she led me over to the painting station.

"Would you like me to paint you a normal skin tone?" Her glare widened my smile. It actually hurt.

"You can't paint for shit, now shut up, I'm trying to learn."

I hope lunch is starting soon. I'm so freaking hungry. With all the food that's available I might be getting a little soft. But it's never going to happen again. The cocky guy from One had been flexing all day. Glancing at Mar and smirking. She appeared oblivious. Appeared. Her patience with this cocky prick was waning. My thirst and hunger? That's growing. I walked away, getting a much needed drink. When I left the station the guy from One swooped in. Five minutes later and the guy was still there. He looked increasingly annoyed.

"Alright, let's break for lunch!" Mar's eyes found mine with a smile. Walked past the cocky bastard like he was nothing. Apparently that didn't happen often to him. His body language read one thing. He was pissed. She seemed oblivious. So when he wrenched her arm back there was a mild surprise on her face. Then her eyes changed. Say good bye to your sack man.

"What makes you think you can ignore me bitch?!" In seconds he was flipped on the ground with her knee at is throat.

"What makes you think you can touch me bitch?" She replied in a perfectly even tone. Her voice and glare honestly freaked me out. She was deadly and I knew that but I didn't see it often. She's a demon when she's pissed. After a second she got off of the loser and we headed over to lunch. Peacekeepers had headed our way. Mar just rose her hands in surrender. They nodded and went back to their posts. One and Two both walked by our table mid-meal.

"You just guaranteed yourself a painful death. You want to save yourself man, now the chance." I rose an eyebrow.

"I never back down from a challenge." They huffed and started to walk away.

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" Mar called out in a mocking tone. The blonde from One had to be restrained by the guy from Two. Mar and I continued to eat ignoring the stares. Someone walked over and sat down next to me.

"So are you guys crazy or do you have a death wish?" I acknowledged him, brown hair, strong build, must be from Seven.

"Crazy." Mar answered flatly. The guy stared at her with a smirk. She finished her sandwich and looked him in the eyes. "Can I help you?" Annoyance clear. He smiled.

"I'm Gunther, I'd like to team up with you guys." Mar stood up, walking away.

"There's only one winner. Allies are pointless." He looked disappointed. He gave a stiff nod though.

"Offers still there if you change your mind." Mar walked over her face void of emotion.

"We won't." She is all of 5' 3" and she honestly makes me cringe. The guy from Seven raised his hands in surrender and walked away.

"You're terrifying you know that?" I murmured as we headed to the fire making station. "I thought I was supposed to be intimidating."

"Can't win 'em all Al." she said with a small smirk.

Finnick's POV

I came down to watch training about 30 minutes before lunch. I needed to make sure they were doing well. Al didn't seem 100% when he left. They were doing a survival station. I smirked, just like they said. Looking around I noticed that most of the guys were staring at Mar. Stomach and jaw clenched without consent. I couldn't deny I was doing the same. But, they weren't allowed to look at her like that. Like a piece of meat. Al got up, heading for the drinking fountain, then a tall blonde walks over to Mar. I couldn't hear what they were saying because of the distance, but the way that guy was looking at Mar made me want to skin him alive. Okay Fin, calm the hell down, she only just started talking to you 10 hours ago. Lunch was called and Mar got up, ignoring the blonde. He looked pissed. He grabbed her arm. I tensed. In seconds Mar had him flipped onto his back with her knee to his throat. That's my girl. But she's not your girl. It wouldn't matter if she were. Snow would have her killed or worse.

"Well, that's quite a girl you've got there Odair." Gloss's smug voice appeared beside me along with the muscle bound man himself. I smirked in response.

"She certainly got the drop on your tribute."

"She did, disappointing really. He should stop staring at her ass and start working on survival skills like we told him." Cashmere's voice drawled as she appeared next to her brother.

"She does have a nice ass." Gloss stated obviously checking her out. I ground my teeth in an attempt to calm down. Cashmere smacked the back of her brother's head.

"Stop being a perv Gloss, we are supposed to be focusing on our tributes." Gloss sent her a glare and started to walk off with Cashmere close behind. Mar was in the cafeteria being approached by some other guy. Am I going to have to watch these assholes flirt with her constantly? They won't just be flirting with her when she gets back. I decided to go talk to them see how it's going. I walk over as the other guy stated.

"Offers still there if you change your mind."

"We won't" Mar's reply was blunt and clear. The guy walked off disappointed. Mar and Al headed back out towards the stations. I decided to join them.

"Glad to see you're playing nice with others Marmaid." Mar looked up at me with a glare. Al looked clearly amused at the name.

"If you call me that again Odair, I will castrate you in your sleep." Mar's voice was icy, eyes cold and a wicked smirk on her face. "That goes double for you Allie poo." Al's cheeks flushed a bit and he crossed his legs a little tighter.

"Alright, alright. Don't say it again." Mar wore a triumphant smirk on her face as she started to build a fire. She moved her hands with grace and speed. What else can she do I wonder. Yup again, she JUST STARTED TALKING TO YOU 11 HOURS AGO!

"So you guys have gained quite the fan club." I stated as Mar furiously spun the stick. In seconds a spark ignited into a flame.

"One of the downfalls of being sexy. You should know all about that Odair." Wait what.

"D-did you just call me sexy?" She grabbed the cup of water and put out the growing flame.

"Stating a fact Odair." She met my curious eyes. "I didn't say it was a good thing." She rolled her shoulders. "Are those sponsors up there watching us?" she said nodded subtly towards the group of men that were indeed watching the tributes.

"Yeah," she nodded, face thoughtful.

"Alright, that's enough training for today. Put your weapons back and return to your floors and rest up. We'll start again tomorrow at 8 am." Mar stood up offering a hand to Al, then me. We walked to the elevator and ended up riding up with Eight and Three. I nodded to BeeTee he returned the gesture. Once on our floor Mar started to roll her shoulders.

"Stiff?" Al asked her.

"Very." Was her response. She hummed as she pulled her arm across her chest. Her very defined chest. In her skin tight suit that left next to nothing for the imagination. God I'm a pervert. Al sat down on a couch letting out a breath. Mar continued her stretching. And I continued watching as subtly as possible.

"Mar?"

"Hmm?" was her response.

"We should do yoga tomorrow." That got everyone's attention. Mar stopped her stretching and rose a brow. "Fin said those were sponsors right? Show them how graceful you are."

"You mean how flexible I am."

"Flexibility is a good trait."

"Al, they're all going to sleep with me after I've won, they can wait."

"Exactly. Make them crave you." She sighed. "They're already interested."

"Of course they are. This stupid outfit leaves NOTHING to the imagination. Ugh!" Throwing her arms into the air she flopped on a couch across from Al. "I'm a person, not a piece of ass." Agreed!

"I know Mar. They just don't care." Al's voice was soft and sad. She covered her eyes with her hands and groaned.

"Well they'll stare either way. Might as well give them a reason to hmm?" Wait what?!

"I don't think that's a good idea." They both looked at me.

"What else are we supposed to do?" Mar asked. Not make the most powerful men in Panem want to sleep with you "It needs to be something low impact."

"The games aren't going to be low impact."

"In case you've forgotten Al is dying." Mar's voice was angry and sad. "He needs to rest as much as possible before we go in."

"It'll be fine Mar, we'll try some easy things like climbing okay?" Al soothed.

"Yeah you dying is totally fine. And us going into an arena and having to fight for our lives is totally fine. And my only interesting factor being my body is totally fine. And me being nothing more than a tool and a sex object is totally fine. Everything is huncky fucking dory." Mags walked over and tugged on Mar's hands. I wanted to wrap her in my arms again. How many excuses have I found to do that in the last 48 hours?

"Ib dobnt maber wah deh call oo. Ib mabers what oo call or self." Mar's face started to pale. "Ooo are oo? Urvibor er ore?" Mar took a deep breath.

"I'm a survivor." She said her voice low and clear.

"I kno. Dobnt oo forbet ib" Mar had tears in her eyes but she nodded. Mags kissed her forehead and gave a big toothless smile. I owe everything to Mags. Without her, I wouldn't be here. It looked like that's just what Mar needed to hear. Mags gave a firm nod, then she yawned.

"You wanna go lay down Mags?" I asked hopping up. She nodded. I grabbed her arm and gently lead her to her room.

"I'll take her Finnick." Al called out. "I could use a nap too." Mags smiled at Al patting his arm gently with her wrinkled hand. Al and Mags left the room. I turned to Mar and noticed we were alone again. She flopped back down on the couch covering her eyes. I walked over eyes trailing up her legs. Stop checking her out asshole! Comfort her!

"You can't be comfortable in that thing." I stated she peeked out from behind her hands. "Go change into something comfortable so you can relax." I suggested. She sat up and cocked her head to the side. God she's adorable. Please for the love of God change out of that thing. You are killing me Marjorie I don't think you even know it.

She stood slowly licking her bottom lip "Don't like the view?" she asked in a very sultry voice. Does she know what she's doing to me? I couldn't help but admire the sway in her hips as she stepped closer. Shit. That's hot. I felt my cock twitch involuntarily. Shit! Don't you fucking start that dammit. "Is that why you were staring at me all through training?" No! Nononononononono. Stop! Finnick Odair you stop right now! She smirked god was it sexy. Why are you doing this to me Mar? Do you have any idea how sexy you are? She took three slow steps forward and it took all of my self-control not to pull her into my arms again. Where she belongs, might I add. She was right in front of me, less than 6 inches between us. She gazed into my eyes. "Interesting." She damn near purred. Fucking PURRED. 'Interesting' what the fuck does that even mean?! She left me standing in the room alone. Thanking god I wore loose pants today because I was fully erect. I did not need her thinking I was only talking to her again because she was sexy. But damn was she sexy. I wonder what it'd feel like having her plump lips on mine. Or around my cock… It twitched again. Ugh… When the hell did I start thinking like this?! I'm not this guy! I'm not an asshole!

"Dammit I need a cold shower…NOW"

After a 30 minute freezing shower I was finally able to think about Mar without getting hard. Fucking hell; all the women in the capitol and not one of them has turned me on like that. I calmed down and decided to get something to eat. In the living room Mar was on the floor contorted into one of the sexiest positions I've ever seen. Her perfect ass was in the air and I could see down her baggy shirt to her black sports bra…. Fuck fuck fuck. - Yes I would. I'd ravish her until the sun came up. We'd go at it for hours if she wanted. I'd pleasure her in every way imaginable and show her the love and care that she deserves. I'd rock her fucking world so hard that she wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. - Suddenly a hand clapped on my shoulder. Aralia was smirking at me.

"You're drooling." She whispered in my ear. I wiped my mouth and I actually was. I'm Finnick Odair Sex God of the Capitol and she had me drooling. My best friend in the whole world had me drooling. Are we even friends again? It doesn't matter you can't have her either way. It's not right. Fuuuuuuck. I let out an involuntary groan and went back to my room. How many times was this going to happen over the next week? Probably a lot.

Mar's POV

I thought I heard someone come in the room. But I was in the middle of a really hard pose. It's one of the best stretches for my shoulders and lower back. It feels soooo good but takes concentration. I was focusing on my breathing when I saw Aralia walk around the chair that was blocking my view of the door and sit down in it.

"Flexible little thing aren't you?"

"Bipolar little thing aren't you?" I countered with a smirk. She laughed out right at that.

"Can you show me?" I smiled

"Yeah I'd love to."

Dinner was a few hours later. Aralia was convinced that she was dying. She lasted almost an hour. She fell a lot. The only reason she stopped was because she was tired of me laughing at her. It was the happiest I've been in a while. Finnick didn't show up for dinner. I frowned looking around.

"Is Finnick at a meeting?" I asked suddenly. Euripides looked my way shaking his head. Aralia smirked.

"No, I'm sure he's just in the shower." Why is she smirking about him being in the shower?

"What? He went to shower 2 hours ago. He's probably just tired."

"Yeah not everyone can go all day running on only a few hours' sleep." Al stuck his tongue out at me, I returned the gesture. We joked throughout the night. Finnick never appearing. It made me worry. I was only teasing him earlier. He looked like a deer caught in headlights too. I hope he wasn't mad. My thoughts and feet led me straight to his room. I knocked a few times, not hearing any sound.

"Finn, you okay?" I pushed the door open gently. He was sleeping, his shirt was off and chest was fully on display. Can I say god damn?! Chills ran up and down my spine. His waist was covered but his hip was poking out just a bit. I bite my lip. He was in boxers. They were hanging low too. I could see his defined pelvic muscle that lead down under the covers. Mmmm, now that is a beautiful sight. The things I could do... Oh my god, that's what tons of women think about him all the time. How can you think like that Mar? I don't want to be one of them. I want to be so much more. There's more important things happening here then what you want. Yeah I know, there always are. I'm going into the games in 4 days. I need to focus. But the only thing I want to focus on is Finnick. His face is relaxed but, his lips are formed into a defined frown. What is he dreaming about I wonder. Does he ever dream about me? Shaking my head violently. It didn't matter. I am a Tribute for the Hunger Games which is starting in 4 days. I backed out of his room and shut the door gently. A hand grasped my shoulder gently. In an instant I had the person slammed to the wall. Al's eyes were wide with fear. Adrenalin is my best friend when it comes to fighting larger opponents. I never meant to hurt Al though. "Sorry," I breathed letting him go.

"It's okay for you to feel Mar, you know that right? It makes you human." I took a deep breathe.

"I can't be human Al. I can't be decent. I have to win. I have to get home. I made a promise. And I"

"Always keep your promises I know." Al ran his hand through his shortened hair. "Promise me Mar…"

"Promise you what?"

"That when some guy comes along and he proves that he isn't going anywhere. Promise me that you'll let him in. That you'll ignore the voice in the back of your head that tells you why it won't work. Why it's not worth it. That you don't deserve to be happy." His voice had dropped in volume considerably. "You of all people deserve to be happy Mar. You've sacrificed so much already. Suffered so much already. Promise me Mar. Promise you'll fight for yourself too. Fight for your happiness too." I looked into his eyes. I wanted to say no. I needed to say no. Saying yes would be a lie. I can't promise that. His face dropped. He knew my internal conflict. "Can you at least promise me you'll try?" I nodded softly. "Say it Mar." God damn him.

"I-i-i-I promise." Al kissed my forehead gently. I just lied to my best friend. I just lied to my dying best friend. "You look like hell. Go try and sleep." I scoffed.

"Just what every woman wants to hear." Rolling my eyes I headed a few doors down and entered my room. I climbed onto the floor with the pillows. I set the wall to show the ocean. I started to tear up, so I shut it off. Sitting on the floor wrapped in blankets with my head in my hands. I always keep my promises. How the hell will I keep this one? How am I supposed to save everyone and myself? I can't do it all. The kids have such a better chance at life then I do. They can do things. Good things. They won't be able to if their covered in scars that match mine. I can't let them go through that. I have to protect them. But… I can't save the kids and myself. So then… who's gonna save me? I'm not worth saving. No matter what Al says. They matter more.

I didn't sleep. Or leave my room. Just lying on the floor staring at the ceiling. It's the worst thing I could be doing right now. I needed to focus. Instead? I go over every single reason that has led me to this exact moment. There wasn't anything else I could really do. There's too much information to process, new and old. Too many things to wrap my head around. I needed the ocean. That's what I needed. I was drowning on dry land. I can't breathe here. I need the ocean. I need home.

But I'm at the capitol. Thousands of miles away. Caught in their net. They can synthesize anything here. That's the problem though, nothing is real. I need real. I need home. I need to be under water so there's a good reason for it to feel like the world is crashing down on me. I've been washed ashore. Stranded. I haven't been this scared in years. I need Ari. Ari looks at me like I can do anything. I need to feel that right now. But I never want Ari to come to this over decorated hell hole. I want to go home.

"Rise and shine Marmaid! Time to train." Al's sing song voice rang from the other side of the door. The sound made me want to jump out of my skin. Was it already morning? Fighting my own demons before I get to go into an arena with 22 other people who want to kill me, not the best plan. It is what it is.

"Be out in five." I called out. My voice was rough. I hadn't sobbed at least. Find that silver lining right? – Find it so I can strangle everyone who looks at me wrong - I put on my skin tight suit. I'd be wearing more clothes if I were naked, honestly! It squeezes everything more than it should. Especially the chest and butt areas – duh, sex sells – UGH! This stupid fucking suit wasn't helping. Entering the dining area everyone was already there. I sat next to Al and set my head on the table.

"You didn't sleep?" I gave him a look. It screamed 'what do you think?' "I'll do my best to keep others away from you then." A grunt left my lips. "Eat Mar." I grunted again. "Marjorie Louise Scur. Eat. Now."

"Alright guys, second day of training today. Mar, don't fight with the other tributes. You will not win points with the Gamemakers. I grunted in response. Finnick must not have been paying attention. He was using his different voice. He wasn't Finnick Odair of District Four. He was Finnick Odair Capitol Darling. I hated this Finnick. Al grabbed my hair forcing my head from the table. He shoved a roll in my mouth. When he let go I swept his chair out from under him. The chair made a large clattering sound.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Euripides screamed. A few of Al's stylists rushed to help him up. Fussing over him like he was a baby.

"He's a grown fucking man. Stop babying him. The games aren't going to fucking baby him. And he knows better than to grab my fucking hair. EVER. He knows better than to press me in the morning. He fell all of 3 feet onto carpeting. Calm the hell down." The others were still scolding me. Does everyone in the Capitol sound like an angry chicken when they speak. Or a chick. Tiny squeaking noises constantly.

"You didn't sleep at all..."

"What was the first hint?" I glared at Al grabbing a knife to put some jelly on the roll he stuffed in my mouth. I'm being pushed too fucking far with this shit. "Not even in the fucking games yet and all I can see when I close my eyes is your death, or mine. They're going to hate me Al. What am I supposed to tell your kid huh?"

"I'm already dying Mar."

"You seem just fine to me."

"That's because I'm good at hiding it. I've been hiding it from everyone for the last FOUR MONTHS Mar."

"It's not fucking fair!" I screamed. The butter knife that had been in my hand was imbedded into the wall. "You shouldn't have to die Al! It's. It's too fucking much okay! You're keeping me together Al. You always call my bullshit. Always push back. No one else has the balls to do that Al. How. How am I supposed to keep my promise?! Why would you? You know that trying to do this is going to tear me apart!" My face was red with anger and pain. Al stepped closer. I shoved him away. He grabbed my arms and forced me into his chest.

"You can't save everyone Mar."

"I feel so fucking weak Al." I breathed. "I'm sobbing non fucking stop. I've never cried this much in my entire fucking life. Not when I found my house burned down. Now when Kari died in my arms… I just…"

"You're not weak." Al breathed. "You're human."

"I don't want to be."

"Tough shit."

"Jackass." Al smiled warmly and brushed a few tears away.

"Come on we're gonna be late."

"Fuck..." I started shaking my head. "Okay. Right. Plan, quiet, mysterious. Going to focus on light physical activity today, yeah?" Al and I started for the door.

"Sounds good Joy Joy."

"Don't call me that."

"Do you prefer Marmaid?"

"I was not kidding when I said I would castrate you Alnus Rickter." Al took a few steps back. Someone placed a hand on my shoulder. Jumping into action I ducked down grabbing his wrist, forcing his arm behind his back. Kicking the back of his knee forcing him to the ground. I started panting. Then I realized it was Finnick. "Shit..." I let him go instantly and stepped back. "Sorry..." I started breathing heavily. Tears were gathering in my eyes.

"Are you okay Mar?" He looked scared. Genuinely scared. I laughed. A bitter rage filled laugh.

"No." taking a deep breath I stepped towards the door, "We're going to be late." My voice was softer. I didn't look back. I couldn't. I was losing it. Bad.

Finnick's POV

Mar had me on the ground in 30 seconds. Flashing back to the games before I heard her ragged voice. "Shit… sorry…" I stayed kneeling on the ground too shocked to move. I looked at Mar as she moved towards the door. "Are you okay Mar?" The strangled laugh that left her throat was filled with so much emotion that she might explode.

"No." she turned again "We're going to be late." The girl I knew never would have snapped like that. Never. She'd lost so much. And she was going into the games to lose more. A hand appeared in front of me. Al hoisted me up. He clapped my shoulder with a sad smile.

"She a bitch when she's tired. But a demon when she's scared. Don't touch her if she can't see who you are."

"Thanks for the tip." I stuttered out. She was losing it. Al knew too. "I'm coming with you guys." Al raised an eyebrow. "Moral support." He nodded.

"I don't know what good that will do, but it can't hurt." He paused for a second. "What she really needs is to get into a good fight. Like a really good fight."

"She could get hurt."

"She's about to explode with emotions. Physical pain means she's alive. She still has a chance. She hasn't failed completely."

"Failed what?" Al didn't say anything. He jogged over to the elevator. Mar was waiting for him. "I'll be down later guys. Remember," I pointed at Mar. "No fights yet." I gave her a playful glare. She returned it with a blank cold face. My smirk dropped. I caught a nod from Al in my peripheral vision. But I didn't really care at this moment. There were so many emotions in her eyes. It made me sick just looking at all of them. Constantly whipping around like a hurricane. She'd said a storm was coming and she was right. If she didn't get a release soon… she wouldn't make it till the games.

An hour later I came down to the training center. Mar looked tenser than I'd ever seen her. Like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. I knew the feeling. She and Al were running the obstacle course. Al slipped up a lot. Mar and everyone else in the room noticed. A few of the other tributes noticed. Especially the jerk from 1. He watched Mar the whole day. A hand slipped up and down my back, slowly.

"Hello Mr. Odair..." A squeaky voice purred in my ear. I did my best not to cringe. Placing my 'Capitol Smirk' on my face I turned to see a hideous woman. Her hair was mint green her skin vibrant orange. 'I'm going to have to fuck a carrot…'

"How are you today sweetheart?" She was even uglier when she blushed. Her giggle could break glass it was so shrill.

"You look so tense, why don't you come with me and I'll help you relax." I doubt that very much… Plastering a wider smile I coed.

"A beautiful woman like you should be pampered. Don't worry about little old me." She giggled again. I really want to puke. "Would you head to the elevator Hun? I need to talk to my tributes quickly, then I'll be all yours." She batted her fake lashes. Is that supposed to be sexy? She turned and sauntered away. I turned back to Mar and Al to see that they were both watching. I started towards them and Mar launched herself up the rope ladder. Guilt smothered me. I was adding more weight. More pain for her.

"She isn't pissed at you man." Al murmured softly. "She knows a proposition when she sees one." I swallowed thickly. The lump in my throat growing.

"Yeah, tell her to meet me here at 6 okay? I know you don't want to but she needs to work on her weapons."

"Yeah I will." Al clapped his hand on my shoulder again. "Good luck with that man…" he nodded subtly towards the elevator.

"Ohhh Fiiiinnnnnnick." Her shrill voice echoed through the entire training center. I gave Al a quick look. Then turned around with my capitol smirk and swagger. The carrot lady was biting her finger. Thank god for the pills or I'd never be able to get this shit done.

Mar's POV

I jumped down after finishing the course. It was just… worse… Seeing that... I walked up to Al. "What did he want?"

"He scheduled a private training time for us. Meet here at 6 pm." with a firm nod my eyes wandered to the elevator where Finnick had just left.

"He doesn't have a choice Mar…"

"I know…" I breathed out. After a pause I looked at Al. "Is this how you guys feel, when I..?"

"...yeah…"

"I'm sorry…" tears were building.

"Why? For sacrificing everything you are to keep us all alive?" Al's voice was light. "I think we should be apologizing to you Mar." Confusion set firmly on my face. "For holding you back." Something changed in my eyes and heart. "You all give me purpose. Not hold me back. You all are my reasons to live." taking a deep breath I turned looking off. "I'd be nothing without all of you…" Al grabbed my hand with a gentle squeeze.

"Let's go learn how to do something we've never done before."

"Archery?"

"Why not." We spent the rest of training learning how to use a bow. After lunch we went over to the survival stations again. Training finished up around 4 pm. Al was winded. I could tell. No one bothered us. They'd stare and murmur, but that was it. Nothing new there. We made it to the fourth floor. "I'm gonna go rest up for training, okay?" I nodded towards Al. If he was still asleep I wasn't going to wake him for training. He was tired. We had one more day of training before the assessments. Then the interviews... Then the games… None of the Capitol clucks also known as Euripides and his posse, were around. So the living room was oddly quiet. I started on some yoga again. Not bothering to take off my suit or shower. Everything was tense. Everything. 30 minutes later Finnick walked in, somewhat disheveled. He didn't look as bad as the other night. Our eyes locked. He looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it.

"Be ready in 15 okay?" a quick nod sent him on his way. 15 minutes later Finnick walked into the room fresh. Hair still slightly damp. "Come on."

"What about Al?"

"He said he needed to rest." Tears found their way back to my eyes. I'm crying so fucking much this week. "C'mon." Finnick reached out his hand and gestured me forward. The ride down was silent. So was the training center. It was different. I turned to ask Finnick what the plan was. In seconds he'd pinned me to the ground. "You're dead."

"What the fuck Finnick?!" I roared.

"Get up!" I was on my feet for all of 3 seconds before he lunged again. This time he had me in a headlock. "I've killed you twice now." he threw my head away from him. "The games aren't going to wait for you to be ready. A lot of the tributes here are bigger than you. How are you going to fight them off?"

"Same way I've fought people off for the last 3 years." He lunged again. Finnick was so fast. I was on the ground face down, with his knee in my shoulder blades. Hands pinned.

"If this is how you've fought them then it's a miracle you're still alive." He got up again. Taking a step back. I turned swinging my leg beneath him. Bringing him to the floor.

"Excuse me for not considering you a threat." I murmured angrily. He was on top of me again in seconds. It was frustrating. He'd hit the ground hard. How was he moving still?

"I am a dangerous man Marjorie." Trust me I know. "I've survived the games already if you've forgotten." He is dangerous – dangerously close – he could kill me in a second – but he couldn't if he tried – why am I not afraid? – I trust him. Trust. His eyes. They weren't his capitol eyes, or his happy eyes. They were just void. "I've been seconds from killing you four times now."

"You won't Finnick. You'd never hurt me. Not on purpose." I murmured softly. His grip on my hands loosened and I tugged them free. He was supporting his weight on his forearms. We were breathing the same air. Breathing into each other. Why I did what I did next I'll never know. Tracing the outline of his face. Moving gently from his broad jaw to his full cheeks. Eyes tracing where my hands wouldn't move. He leaned into the touch. He's right here. 'He's a distraction…' I kept my hand where it was quickly pressing his face to the side using my hips I bucked him off of me. A fake knife to his neck. My legs on either side of his hips. Lust filled his eyes along with a large amount of surprise.

"One to four." He paused smirking. "I'm still winning." he picked me up by my hips and threw me off of him. I hit the ground with a thud and rolled. We fought like that for an hour. No rest. One attack after the other. Finnick was winning by our first break. We were both panting a sweating. "Good, I think that's enough hand to hand." Thank god. "Five minute break then we're moving on to weapons. What are you best at?"

"Throwing knives." I managed to pant out. "Spears. And… tridents... of course." He nodded.

"Nothing surprising, being from Four. We'll need to catch their attention another way."

"So dress me in next to nothing. Sex sells, you know that Fin." Finnick slammed his fist on the mat.

"You. Are. Not. An. Object." He punctuated each word. I giggled.

"I haven't seen you this mad since I was 8 years old and Jay ate your special cookies." His eyes softened for half a second. He stepped forward and cupped my face.

"I had spent all of my money on the ingredients and made them for you. Don't change the subject." He took a shaking breath. Eyes flicking to my lips every few seconds. We stood there waiting. For what I'm not sure.

"I don't need training in how to kiss Finnick. I'm already good at that."

"Let me be the judge of that." Breathing while capturing my lips with his. The power and emotion was intense. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. My body reacted like this was the most natural thing in the world. Kissing him was easier the breathing. My hands worked their way into his hair before. Seconds later we both pulled away. His forehead resting on mine he looked down. I stared at his face. Looking for regret, for anything. "You were right…" he looked back up at me and a million things were said between the two of us. 'Love is a distraction. You can't be distracted.' the voice in the back of my head taunted.

"I told you." I whispered stepping away. "Now how about you teach me things I don't know, that will actually help me in the games?" He swallowed heavily. Both of us still out of breath.

"Right." running his hands through his hair and avoiding my eyes he headed over to the knife station. "Show me what you've got." I nodded. Taking the knifes in my hands. Precision. The closest to home I was going to get is right here. With a knife in my hand. I was collecting my thoughts. I heard Finnick take a step forward. He had a wooden sword in his hand. Stepping back while blocking his blow we started again. He disarmed me after 5 minutes. I rolled grabbing the closest thing I could find. Which happened to be a spear. Neither of us backed down. We were surprisingly well matched. I don't know how long we were at it but eventually we both tired. "I think we can place fighting with spears on your list of strengths. It's not something you'll get to show the judges, but in the games, it will save you, without a doubt." We were both panting. I doubled over. "I think that's enough for tonight. Thank god Exhaustion. How was I even supposed to walk to the elevator. "Come on, it's late."

"I think... I'll... just.. sleep here..." I wheezed out. Finnick laughed at me. He managed to cradle me in his arms. Started stumbling towards the door. "Now we're both going to fall." I wheezed out.

"It's only 100 yards, I've got this." just as he finished speaking his knee buckled slightly. I laughed and held onto him tighter. Afraid of falling. A genuine smile on both of our faces. "Don't you trust me?" I rolled my eyes at his cocky smirk. We managed to stumble into the elevator and collapse onto one of the couches. Both breathing heavily.

"Where the hell have you two been? Oh honestly! Finnick!" Euripides clucked on. Finn and I both ignored him. He nestled his head in the crook of my neck. Hot breath tickling my sweaty skin.

"Mmm, I think I'll sleep right here." Finn nuzzled his hair tickling my face.

"MMmmn no Finnick, get up! You're crushing me!" he whined like a kicked dog in response. The laugh that escaped my lips was the most genuine sound of happiness I've made in years. I felt him smile against my skin. "Finnick. Get. Off."

"Night night Marmaid."

"Finnick I'm warning you." he hummed in response. I grabbed his sides and began my torture. He squawked a very undignified sound as he rolled us off the couch. I landed on top of him with a thud. We both groaned. I was still laughing. He had his eyes closed in pain. Peeking one eye open he glared at me. I laughed louder. "Hey. I warned you." Getting up quickly, I offered Fin my hand. "Are you okay?" he started rubbing the back of his head.

"I'll live." he chuckled softly.

"Good, I can't have your fans killing me before I enter the arena." sending him a wink I turned and stumbled towards the bedrooms. I barely made it to my room. Collapsing on the bed, unconscious before I even made contact with the over plush piece of furniture.

Finnick's POV

"She's the one isn't she?" Euripides murmured. I turned to him smile fading from my face. "The one you talked about all the time, during your first games?" I don't know why I don't like him knowing that. He nods sadly. "Be careful Finnick." with that he turned for his room. It was 10 at night. I had managed to satisfy my clients this afternoon, so I could actually sleep in my own bed. Tomorrow is the last day of group training then the individual assessment. Then the interviews... then the games... Heading towards my room, I hear Al coughing violently. I open the door and his doubled over on the floor crawling towards the bathroom. Throwing his arm over my shoulder I drag him the rest of the way. He vomits in the toilet. Blood. He's shaking and gagging. After about 5 minutes he's calmed down.

"Uggh, I'm so glad you aren't Mar." he sighed grabbing one of the white towels and wiping the excess blood from his face. My eyes were wide as they watched him. "You can't tell her man." he sighed. "She's got enough on her plate." nodding absentmindedly I took in the man before me.

"You're really dying?" I breathe after a minute or two. His eyes close and he gives a stiff nod.

"I'm really dying." taking in a ragged breath. "Mar doesn't know how bad. I've... I've got sores in my lungs. It's not too bad if I'm not breathing heavily. But when I am, the tissue tears, blood pools. I choke on my own blood." What a horrible way to go. "You get why I didn't want to stay home? I...I don't want them to see me like that. And I saved that kid. It almost makes leaving Ruddy worth it. I'll be there to protect Mar. And I'm dying anyway. I'm dying... Some tough shit to wrap your head around." He cleared his throat shaking his head. "Look man, I need you to look after Mar when I'm gone. She's gonna lose her shit in a big way."

"Don't worry about that." he smirked

"I knew you liked her." nodding and sighing he rested his head back. "Good. Good." We sat in his bathroom for a few minutes, he started dozing off.

"Come on Man, let's get you in bed." shaking him gently his eyes came in and out of focus.

"You know, she used to cry for you all the time." I took his weight with little effort, "You broke her when you didn't come back." God dammit I figured that out, I don't need to hear it from you Al. "Don't do it again man. If you're going to then don't try and get close okay? Please," Al was lying in bed, on his side mumbling incoherent things. Shutting his door gently I walked into Mar's hoping that hadn't woken her up. She was passed out on the bed. Well partially on the bed. Her left leg was on the floor holding her up. Her shoes and suit were both still on. Gently picking her legs up and shifting her whole body onto the bed she started to snore slightly. It wasn't loud or annoying. Still not something I expected. She was nothing like I expected. The girl I knew was definitely gone. But who she was now? That woman was captivating in every sense of the word. No one set fire to my soul the way she did. I've been with dozens of women. Not one of them made me feel anything close to what she did. Her lips were addicting. They felt better than any orgasm I'd ever had – I've had a lot - She was sweaty, smelled horrible, her hair was a mess, and I'd honestly never witnessed anything or anyone so beautiful. 'You're wrong Al, I don't like her.' placing a sweet kiss on her damp forehead I walked out the door. Closing it softly I leaned against it for 30 seconds. 'I think I love her... '

At breakfast the next morning I received a letter from President Snow. He had a full docket for me today. Four clients in one day... Frowning at the paper, Mar stumbled into the room. She looked drunk.

"Mar did you get drunk last night?" Al accused. Mar's response was to flip him off. While stumbling to the left a little. Al jumped up and grabbed her. She flinched as he touched her arms. "Mar what the hell?!" Her head fell back lidded dark green eyes meeting Al's

"Training." she mumbled before jerking forward into Al's chest. He laughed. She was half asleep standing up and leaning on him.

"You actually got her to sleep?"

"They should have, Finnick and Mar were in the training room for five hours last night!" Aralia commented joining the table. Was it really five hours? "Euripides had a search party ready to go." she laughed. I knew the man was fond of me. But like anyone else in the Capitol he saw what he wanted to see. The Capitol Golden Boy. Not Finnick Odair. Al laughed, steering Mar to her seat. Then letting the woman rest on his shoulder while he fed her bread.

"Whatever you did man, do it again tonight. She needs as much sleep as she can get." I nodded. "What did you work on?"

"Hand to hand combat. How to fight someone twice your size."

"So you noticed that ass from One eyeing her up too?" I scoffed.

"Hard to miss." Al chuckled and nodded as well.

"Marmalade." she mumbled. Al grabbed on and brought it to her. She took my bread and dunked it in the bowl. No knife, no anything. The look of horror on Euripides face was classic. I poured her a cup of coffee. Putting 3 sugar cubes and some creamer in it.

"Have her drink this."

"What is it?"

"Coffee, it'll help wake her up." Al nodded. He fed the girl her bread and coffee. Is this how she is every time she sleeps?

"Only when she sleeps well." Al replied. "You said that out loud." Feeling my cheeks heat up a bit I nodded.

"Right, well, I can't come watch your training today. I've got a big day scheduled with sponsors and other mentor like stuff." Al nodded in understanding Mar was finally holding the cup on her own. "Have a good day you guys. Mar? Meet me at the training center again. Meet me at 7. We aren't going to work as long tonight okay?" She grunted in response. Not lady like or dignified at all. A smile broke out on my face. Hard not to smile when she's around.

Mar's POV

This coffee stuff is magic. I'm still blinking away the sleep when Finnick leaves. He said my name so I grunted in response. I'll ask Al what he said when I'm more awake. I hate sleeping, I always wake up groggy and useless. My body craves it so much that I never get enough. I'm better off not sleeping at all. I'm still waking up when we head to the training center. Al says he wants to stick to the survival stations today. I agree. Thoroughly sore from the work out last night with Finnick. Glancing at the mats where he kissed me last night I feel the same butterflies returning. I only let it last for a second. I can't be falling again. This is dangerous. A distraction. I'm glad Finnick won't be here. I need a break from him. The more he's around the softer I become. Happiness never lasts. Better to not have it at all.

Training was not taxing at all. I'd work hard tonight at training with Finnick. The hours ticked by until it was time to go. At 6:55 Finnick still hadn't come back to the apartment so I left figuring I'd meet him there. The room was empty, so I just grabbed some knives and started warming up. Strapping them to a belt I took off jogging around the room. After my heart started pumping I started throwing. In the zone I didn't hear Finnick come in. He started clapping and i launched a knife right at his head. Luckily he dropped down.

"I know I'm late, but I didn't think you'd actually try to kill me because of it."

"Expect the unexpected." I murmured still trying to catch my breath.

"Right, well. Let's work on one of your weak weapons." Finnick had stood up and was moving towards the weapon cart. "You don't need help with those." sharing a smirk i retrieved the other knives I'd thrown. "So, what are you bad at?"

"I struggle with swords." Finnick nodded in understanding.

"Great. Time for a crash course."

"I thought you said you were bad at the sword." We had been at it for about an hour. Maybe longer. I was more focused on attacking and defending then the time.

"No I said I struggle with the sword."

"I didn't notice you struggling at all." Finnick let loose an airy laugh.

"Expect the unexpected."

"What can't you do?" Finnick laughed at me. It's true, but I can't seem to do one of the most important things in the world...

"I can't do a lot of things." – Provide, protect my loved ones -

"Like what?"

"Save the people I love. Keep them safe." The mood in the room dropped instantly. Finnick was next to me. I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. "Bring the dead back to life. Right injustice. Stop mistreatment."

"I can help you Mar. Let… let me help you. Please." his voice was soft. Almost desperate. Looking into his turquoise eyes. My favorite color in the world. Filled to the brim with fear and love…

"No." my voice held more strength than I'd felt since before the reaping. Pain flashed in his eyes. I couldn't say why. I couldn't say it out loud. "It's better this way." my resolve was slipping. "We've both got jobs to do. This. It would get in the way. Love is a distraction." drowning again in the weight of my words. I don't know who they hurt more. Me or him. I needed air. I need to be away from Finnick while I still have the strength to walk away. It's slipping. I'm slipping… Finnick spun me around. Slamming me into his chest. It might have been the impact, it might have been the way his eyes drank in my every feature. But the whole world stopped. He held my face firmly, inches away from his. I'm slipping.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." I can't. "I won't stop fighting for this until you do. I won't let you go again. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made."

"It was the best thing you could have done."

"No it wasn't."

"I'm trash Finnick. Poison.

"No you aren't"

"Everyone I love is taken away from me. Every single person."

"I will protect you. All of them. I'll be there." be strong. Be strong. You have to walk away. It's for the best.

"No you won't. I won't let you." anger filled his face.

"Why won't you let me in! WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE?!"

"YOU LEFT ME FINNICK!"

"I WAS PROTECTING YOU!"

"I KNOW!"

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HOLDING IT AGAINST ME?!"

"I'M NOT FINNICK!"

"BULLSHIT YOU AR"

"I CAN'T GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! I! CAN'T!" our red faces and heaving chests faced each other once more. "I can't go through that again Finnick. I can't lose you again.."

"Mar you wo"

"Don't you dare say I wouldn't lose you Odair. Finn that isn't your choice." my voice broke, so did the tears. "We're pawns Finn… pawns don't get to fall in love. When they do, they get killed or worse…. There are so so many things worse than death Finn… so many things…" breathe Mar breathe. Get it together. You're going into the games in two days. Get your head right. He was standing 6 inches away. I could tell he wanted to reach out, but he was stopping. "You're a distraction Odair. I can't afford any distractions. I don't need to be lied to."

"I'm not lying…" he took a shaky breath. "You're the one who's lying." a sob escaped at that. Al said the same thing.

"Then let me." the pain in his eyes was too much. That hurt worse than anything. It sucked every speck of air in my lungs. I turned and ran. Slamming the elevator, it opened seconds later. I can't. I can't be near him. If I don't get out of here I'm going to break. I'll listen to the voice. The one that's screaming at me. Screaming to run into his arms. Scream to him and the rest of the world that I am his. That I'm cold, because he took my heart all those years ago. Arriving on the fourth floor, I panicked further. Air. Real air. The roof. Taking the stairs 2 at a time. I made it. The sky was clear but all the stars were washed away by the bright lights of the capitol. The bright, fake, gaudy lights of these ignorant, spoiled, selfish people. Who polish over imperfections, and worry about the latest fashion craze. The thoughts kept coming, and they wouldn't stop. Two big arms wrapped around me. Al. I screamed and screamed into his chest. Until I couldn't speak. I screamed. Until I had nothing left. He scooped me up and took me to our floor. Laying me in his bed and holding me close. Like a big brother always should when his sister is scared. Or hurt. Or heartbroken. I'm all of those things and so much more…. Surprisingly, sleep captured me minutes later. Al's steady heartbeat lulled me to sleep. I was too tired to care that this may be the last time I get to hear it.

Finnick's POV

After the elevator doors shut I threw the knife in my hand across the room. It imbedded itself into the wall. Five inches from the hilt. I wanted to scream. To fight. To kill something. To kill Snow, for what he's done to me. What he's going to do to Mar…. It's too much. I've been missing her for the last two years and she's right in front of me. But I can't have her. She'll never be mine. The elevator door dinged as it opened. I tried collecting myself before I turned. Luckily it was Mags. She wrapped her frail arms around me and I let loose. I cried like I hadn't since my parents were killed...

Mags managed to get me cleaned up enough to head upstairs. "How did you know I was here?" I asked as we rode up.

"Murr cumin da purment cryn. Al folloo er. I com ere fur ooo." nodding. The twisted feeling in my gut grew a fraction. "commn Finn emme mak ooo summ teee."

"That would be great Mags thanks.." she sent me a toothless grin and went to work. I slumped against the counter. Nursing the concoction once it was handed to me. It started to work almost instantly. I stumbled into my room. Downing the rest of the drink I dropped the cup and crawled under the covers. At least I wouldn't have any dreams tonight. Mags tea was a powerful sedative.

I woke up the next morning at around 11 am. Walking into the living room after a quick shower I saw Mags and Euripides waiting for me.

"Ooo mornN subsign"

"Morning Mags, Euripides."

"Late night?"

"I couldn't sleep. I had some tea and it knocked me out." I explained to Euripides. Why I felt the need I don't know. Grabbing the coffee and sugar i started to fill my cup.

"Well, we've been approached by several mentors who want to ally with Mar and Al." groaning I nodded.

"They aren't going to do allies."

"Allies mean sponsors Finnick." Euripides clucked while ruffling his newspaper.

"I went it alone in there. I survived." Euripides huffed.

"You are charming and pleasant Finnick. SHE is angry, rude and awful."

"She enters the arena in two days. And unlike most tributes, she knows what's waiting in there. Not glory. Not riches. It will be agony, pain and death." I'm staring down at the table. "On top of that she found out that her older brother is dying. If you haven't picked up on it already, they are very close. He is the only one who she lets take care of her." the bitter taste in my mouth is growing. "He has also fathered a child, who will never know him." i looked Euripides in the eye anger radiating from every pore. "Mar blames herself."

"That's ridiculous! She couldn't stop any of that."

"That doesn't matter." I slammed my cup onto the table. "Not to her! She knows she's trapped with no way out Euripides. Tell me why she should be kind and gracious when the only thing waiting for her outside the ring is nightmares, guilt and prostitution!" I leaned over the table towards Euripides, who was shaking in his over sequined pants. He was as flaky and ignorant as most Capitolites. Running a hand down my face and slumping down into my chair, I decided it was pointless to scream at the escort. He was clueless, while that was a crime. Shouting would do nothing to help the situation. "Are they at training?"

"S" Mags murmured. A gentle wrinkled hand squeezing my shoulder.

"Good, thanks Mags." I started looking for mail, to see if I had been scheduled for any clients today. Nothing so far, maybe today wouldn't suck. Two peacekeepers walked through the door. They were here for me. With a groan I got up and followed. This is what she has to look forward to… I almost wish she would lose…. "Give me 10 minutes to shower." they nodded curtly. I wasn't going to be here when they finished training. Mar's words echoed in my head. I'd lined up a few sponsors for Mar and Al. It didn't feel like enough though. Nothing felt like enough. Nothing would save Al. That's what she really needed. "I'm going to approach more sponsors today. I'll be out late. Make sure she eats" Mags nodded sadly. After a shower and another cup of coffee I headed out into the Lion's den.

Mar's POV

We took it easy again at training. Tomorrow were the evaluations. I tried thinking of what I was going to do. To be different. I couldn't talk much. What I really wanted to show them was my strength. Or I could completely flop and take everyone by surprise in the games. When we finished training, Finnick wasn't there.

"meebins" was all Mags had to say. I nodded.

"I want to show them my hand to hand skills..." I wheezed out at dinner.

"They should have a few trainers there. I'll ask around to make sure." Euripides was being nice… that's different.

"...Thanks."

"Al what are you planning on showing them?" the blue man turned continuing a civil conversation.

"Trident, sword, speed."

"Do you have any other plans Marjorie?"

"Yeah, agility. If they have a whip I'll use that as well."

"A whip, that's an unexpected weapon."

"Underrated as well. Mar uses that thing like an angel."

"How did you learn?"

"Taught myself." – God I love toast - The blue man was still staring at me. – Oh right, I was actually speaking to him - "I don't sleep. I train at night. 26 other kids to look out for. I was always planning on going into the games at some point." Taking another bite from my toast. His eyes were still glued to my grain munching form. Looking up at our escort I answered his question before he asked "better me then them"

"Quite the martyr aren't you."

"Nope." I grabbed another roll. "Just a stubborn girl with no self worth willing to do anything for the people she loves." dinner was quiet after that. Finnick didn't come back, and we hadn't set up plans for training. I could use a break. Cella had drawn me a bath with salts and other Capitol stuff. She urged me into the tub, and I complied. Climbing into my massive personal tub I let the hot water relax my muscles. Cella was right. The waters helped. My aches and pains melted away. I wouldn't be stiff tomorrow for the assessment. The scents lulled me nearly to sleep. Cella got me out and dried me off. Leading me to my bed then leaving me to sleep. I murmured a soft thank you as she left.

Waking up at five actually somewhat alert was a surprise. The whole apartment was still dark. Making my way to the living room I decided to stretch out the rest of my limbs. An hour or so later Al joined me. By seven everyone was up and seated at the table for breakfast.

"I've spoken with the Gamemakers Marjorie. They will have a trainer for you to fight." Euripides broke the silence. I nodded towards him.

"Thanks." following up with a small smile. One was returned to me. Finnick didn't speak. Al and the others made idle chat. Soon enough it was time to go down.

"This is going to take all day." Finnick spoke for the first time this morning. "Luckily you guys will go soon enough that the game makers will still be paying attention. Give them something to remember."

"We will." Al answered for us. A Peacekeeper lead us to the waiting room. A few of the other tributes were making small talk. No one was stupid enough to bother with us. We each had 20 minutes to display our skills. That meant a two hour wait before we could go in. Al was first. Which left me alone for 20 minutes. I just wanted to get this over with…

"Marjorie Scur" Finally.

"Good luck Four!" The guy from Six called out. I scowled and ignored him. Entering the room I thought I'd see Al, but he wasn't there. I walked forward. Bowing respectfully for the gamemakers

"Marjorie Scur. District Four." They turned their attention to me with interest. I hate being watched like this. It might save your life. Suck it up. I started with the machete in the simulator. Turning the setting up to difficult I cut through the fake attackers one by one. After 5 minutes I'd finished with them. Breathing heavily. I took a running start and launched myself at the rope course. I planned on finishing with hand to hand combat. Just like Euripides stated there were two Peacekeepers stationed in the room. I looked to the Gamemakers. "If you would indulge me, I'd like to exhibit my hand to hand combat skills. But... I will need a partner." The Gamemaker signaled one of the Peacekeepers to come forward. They left their armor on. Good. He or she started to take off their baton. "Keep it." I breathed softly. Without warning the Peacekeeper lunged forward, baton in hand. Good. Showtime. The guy was quick. But I was faster. He or she was tight, trained well. But I soon found a flaw in their style. They reached out to strike me with the baton. I ducked quickly and jabbed their side fiercely. They brought their arm back, another duck and I landed a blow to their stomach. Surprised by the force the Peacekeeper stumbled back. I took that moment to drop down swiping their feet from under them. It was a dance now. Both of us with a fierce desire to win. In the struggle the Peacekeeper managed to get behind me and put me in a headlock. Perfect. I launched my head back, hearing a crack behind their mask. Wasting no time I launched myself at their arm. Forcing it behind their back, a kick to the back of their knees brought them down. Just like I had with Finnick. I grabbed the top of their head and below their chin. With half a movement I could snap their neck. The room was silent. I think they were waiting to see if I actually killed this person. That wouldn't end well for me. I stepped away breathing heavily. Turning towards the Gamemakers I bowed. "Thank you for your time." Each man and woman stared at me with wide eyes. I turned to the Peacekeeper. "Thanks for your help. Sorry if I hurt you badly." My apology was soft, I don't know if the Gamemakers heard me or not. Head held high I walked from the room, panting slightly from the strenuous activity.

I limped into our apartment. Al wasn't anywhere in sight. Everyone else was there.

"How'd it go?"

"Good I think." I managed to breathe out. "I kicked a Peacekeeper's ass." Euripides paled at that.

"You did what?!"

"Hand to hand combat Deez. They were my only option. The Gamemakers gave me permission." I slumped onto a couch. "I'm not going to just attack a Peacekeeper. I'm not stupid." My breathing was starting to calm down now that I wasn't standing. "It was a good fight too."

"You are by far the craziest tribute I've ever met." Aralia commented after a pause. I lifted my head to look at her.

"Thanks" I answered with a large smile. That made her and Mags laugh. Finnick was quiet still. I didn't expect anything different. After a few minutes of resting Euripides spoke up.

"For god sakes woman, you smell horrid. Go shower!" I laughed at that. Dragging myself off of the couch I obliged. He was telling the truth after all. I stumbled towards my room. An actual smile on my face.

Finnick's POV

After Mar left the room Euripides turned to us and breathed. "You don't think she really fought a Peacekeeper? Do you?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she did." I muttered. She took down a Peacekeeper.

"That's unbelievable…"

"With Mar you have to expect the unexpected." I'd been out all night the night before. Everything she'd said the other night was absolutely true. How she knew her fate and accepted it was beyond me.

Mar didn't come around until dinner. Idle chat was made. It was almost pleasant. But with the scoring happening at 7, it was hard to be. We sat down on the couches. Mar and Al on their own two seater. They held hands. I wanted to be the one holding her hand. I know he doesn't love her like I do. But she let him in. Caesar Flickerman appeared on the screen and the program began.

"Daniel Greer of District one with a score of 10." The cocky son of a bitch's face was smirking on the screen as a 10 orbited his face. "Devi Harper of District one with a score of 10." It continued on. The tributes from two got 10s as well.

"10 flush career pack. They're going to be dangerous." Aralia commented as the scores for the tributes from three were announced. Both rewarded with sevens.

"Alnus Isaar of District four. With a score of… 10." everyone cheered. Mar sent a smile Al's way. He seemed surprised. "Marjorie Scur" we all turned back to the screen. "With a score of… 11." Mar's jaw dropped as everyone erupted in joyful sounds. She sat there shell shocked. I looked at her worriedly. It was a double edge sword. The sponsors would flood in. But she just rose on everyone's kill list.

"Mar that's so wonderful! You must have been amazing!" The others showered her with compliments as Al smiled down at her with pride. The program stayed on but no one really was paying attention anymore. She made eye contact with me. She could see my hesitation. Her smile fell slightly. She could tell. That score wasn't a very good thing.

"Just like you Finnick! Oh this is so wonderful! District Four is a force to be reckoned with!" Euripides clucked on. They proposed a toast. But I didn't join in. I kept my eyes on Mar as she was congratulated repeatedly.

"I just made it to the top of everyone's kill list didn't I?" The joy in the room stopped in the blink of an eye.

"Yeah you did." Clearing my throat I continued. "But the sponsors are going to love you. Everyone is going to be curious. You'll have the attention of everyone in Panem."

"That isn't a good thing." she murmured.

"Well let's get you two to bed. The interviews are tomorrow. And we'll be training all day getting you prepped." Euripides chirped. Mar and Al nodded. Al helped her up and took her to her room. "Oh everyone is going to love her." Euripides cooed.

"You changed your tune pretty quickly." My voice was low and hard. I sent a stern look. He withdrew slightly. Stuttering he managed to get out.

"I.. I listened to what you said… she's a strong girl." that's the damn truth. Everyone went their separate ways. I stayed in the living room and poured myself a drink for the first time in a few months. I heard someone come in. They were quiet. A normal person would have missed it. I stopped being normal a while ago though. Mar was standing in the doorway. She shuffled awkwardly. Her hair was down and a mess. She was wearing tight sleep pants and a baggy shirt. I'd give anything to be able to see her in that every day. Just... Stunning.

"I… I can't sleep…"

"Top shelf, blue tin. It's tea. Drink it in your room" I nodded towards her. She nodded in thanks. She was too short to get the tin on her own. Without hesitation she leapt onto the counter to grab it. I smirked she's always been determined. She made her cup of tea. Me watching her all the while.

"What is it you need to say Finnick?" Her voice was even. Back was still to me. So so many things.. Downing the rest of my whisky. I set the glass down.

"Nothing you want to hear." I can't take being in the same room as her. It hurts too much. I wonder if she even cares.

Mar's POV

Finnick walked from the room. Tears pouring down my face. At least I wasn't sobbing. Taking my tea I went to my room and downed the warm beverage. Interviews tomorrow. Gotta find some way to make the people of Panem love me…

At 7 am Euripides barged into my room followed by my stylist team. I was barely out of bed before they stripped me down and forced me into the shower.

"Big day today. We've got a lot of work to do. So we're starting bright and early." He droned on and I glared at him with every ounce of anger I held.

"I really want to hurt you right now…"

"Tut tut tut dear, we don't have time for that. Now let's go!" The morning was a whirlwind of attacks and torture.

"You just did this shit 4 days ago."

"Beauty is pain Marjorie. Beauty is pain." My male stylist coed. I'd learned his name was Valor. Who names their kid that? Someone from the capitol obviously.

"You're all sadists." I muttered. They either didn't hear me or ignored me. After I was stripped of all hair… again. I was sent off to practice walking in heels. Acting like a lady. It wasn't as hard as most people thought it would be. I used to have class. I think everyone was surprised at my grace and poise. I didn't know whether to laugh or be insulted by their shocked faces. Next we ran over interview questions. Al and I argued over what to talk about. After about 45 minutes he agreed to leave out Kari. I was thankful for that. We were going to wing it for the most part. But Ruddy was bound to come up. Three hours before the Interview my prep team whisked me away again. I was slathered in lotions and potions and god knows what else. For three Capitolites they were impressively forceful. They are trying to help. They are trying to help. They are trying to help. That's my mantra for today. Finally I was ready to see Aralia.

"I have never been happier to see you." I breathed finally. She sent me a smile.

"They still pissed at you?"

"I'm thinking yes."

"Well at least they did their jobs this time." I laughed along with her. "Alright. You know the drill. Eyes closed. And I don't give a shit about your 'plans' you're stuck with mine"

"I guess I'll give you this one…" sighing dramatically as I shut my eyes. The four of them bustled around I felt multiple pieces of fabric being draped around me. They clipped on jewelry. Brushed on make-up. Slipped me into more heals. After an agonizing wait Aurelia finally helped me down. Leading me to what I assumed was the mirror. "Okay, you can open them now." The woman staring back at me was the picture of perfection. My eyes were lined with golden eyeliner. Hair curled into a stunning bun. Every one of my auburn strands shown like a gem under the lighting. There was also glitter on my chest and arms. Then the dress… it was the softest gray blue. Sleeveless, I looked like a goddess. Like royalty. The chest swept down, showing enough cleavage but not so much that I looked trashy. There was a gold and silver jeweled belt. Pieces of mother of pearl were sewn in. The skirt floated around me. A sultry slit in the skirt allowed for me to actually walk. Clipped on my shoulders was a lovely cape. It dipped and caused a slight train behind me. I… there weren't words… "Well do you like it?" Aralia asked. I realized I hadn't answered her. I couldn't manage to speak. "Speechless?" I gave her a nod. "Good." her face brightened up. "You are without a doubt the most beautiful tribute I've had the pleasure of dressing. Now, let's go show the world." I nodded numbly. Aralia helped walk me back stage. The door shut behind me. And everyone's eyes were on me again. I looked for Al, but found Finnick instead. His jaw had hit the floor. Along with many others. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful creation on this earth. He snapped out of his trance when Mags nudged him. Finn walked my way and offered me his arm.

"You look…" He swallowed. "I don't think there's a word that comes close…." I looked down a bit. Shrinking under his gaze.

"Thank you..." He cleared his throat.

"Right, come on over. Al should be here soon." as he said that Al walked out. Dressed in a gray baggy shirt. It opened to show his chest hair. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. The biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. He was beaming with pride. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You look amazing Mar." He smiled taking my hands. "We'll be beating the guys off with a stick." I smiled back softly. I only wanted one guy, and he was to my left.

"Alright guys, remember the plan."

"Tributes, line up." the stage manager called out. Al led me over. Making sure I didn't fall on my face. He knows me so well. As we waited for our turn Al's hand never left mine. I hate attention. I've hated it for years. It never brings anything but trouble. The tribute from three had just finished up.

"Showtime." Al breathed. I nodded firmly. Showtime.

"Ladies and gentlemen! The stormy sweetheart from District four! Marjorie Scur!" Caesar's introduction I felt a shove from behind. The lights of the stage were blinding. I gave a soft smile. I couldn't wear a real one. I wasn't happy to be here. "My dear you look gorgeous. Doesn't she folks?" the audience roared louder. I gave a humble bow in thanks. "Take a seat, my dear. Please!" we both rested into the chairs. Tucking my left foot behind my right ankle, surprising myself with how graceful I was. Folding my hands in my lap I turned to Caesar. "So my dear! We are all dying to know. How did you manage a score of 11? The last tribute to score that high was our own Finnick Odair." he isn't yours. "Did Finnick have a hand in that." with what I hoped was an amusing smile I turned to Caesar.

"It's hard not to excel under Finnick's expert guidance." the crowd loved that.

"Ha ha! I couldn't agree more he's a wonderful man!"

"Without question." i didn't hesitate with my response.

"So, Marjorie my dear, is there anyone special waiting for you back home?"

"Yes, I have 25 people waiting for me actually."

"That's quite a group!"

"Us orphans stick together." sending a wink Caesar's way, the audience laughed.

"I meant is there a special man in your life. A beautiful woman such as yourself must turn a lot of heads. You've certainly captivated everyone here in the capitol! Don't you agree?" the crowd roared again. How do I answer this? The truth? With a nervous laugh I go for it.

"That's honestly a surprise. I couldn't tell you if I turn heads or not. With all of the younger kids to care for, I don't have time for distractions."

"Oh my dear, there must be someone."

"There was... " I breathed looking out at the crowd. My eyes find Finnick in seconds.

"Was..? Please go on." with a forced smile I turned towards Caesar.

"I lost him when we were ten. There was a fire…" tearing up a touch. "Even though we were only children, I haven't found a reason to try again."

"Well my dear, I'm sure love will find you someday." I glanced at Finnick again. It already has...

"One more thing before we let you go my dear. I know we are all dying to know about your reaping. How you volunteered for that girl."

"Ruddy, she's my best friend. More of a sister actually..." the atmosphere changed. Am I really doing this?

"You volunteered to protect her. that is so sweet."

"Thank you..." I paused. "I couldn't let her go in there…." trying to swallow the lump in my throat. Please don't be mad at me Ruddy... "She's pregnant." play it up Mar. The crowd was taken by surprise, all of them hanging on my every word. "We just found out two days before the reaping. That's why I volunteered. I couldn't let her go into the arena. I mean, I would have volunteered for her regardless. I love her to pieces. But still, what kind of monster lets a pregnant woman go into the games?" the crowd gasped and murmured in agreement.

"I couldn't agree more. That was such a selfless thing you've done for your friend." emotions were brewing

"The worst part is... She had to tell Al as we were leaving for the capitol." the words spilled out before I could catch them...

"Al?... Your District partner?"

"Yes." the crowd grew quiet.

"Is he..?"

"The father? Yes." a wave of shocked sounds rolled thru the crowd. Caesar's eyes were wide. I continued "Oh Caesar they are the most beautiful couple. They've been in love for years. The kind of love everyone dreams about. It's just…so..." my eyes were watering. Taking a deep breathe I collected myself again. "One of us is going home. You'll be seeing one of us again soon. I promise you that. And I never break my promises." fiery resolve ended the interview.

"Brave words from a brave young woman… ladies and gentlemen Marjorie Scur from District Four!" many of the Capitolites were crying. Standing and applauding my bravery. I wasn't brave. I just pimped my personal life to gain sponsors. I felt disgusting. It was all the truth. But absolutely none of their business. I sent the crowd a grateful nod then returned to Al's side behind the stage.

"I feel disgusting." i breathed to him

"You did great Mar. I'm not mad. She shouldn't be either."

"I'm mad…"

"When aren't you mad?" he nudged my side playfully. Caesar started to announce Al he whispered "Showtime." before heading out to the sea of lights and cameras. The stagehand herded me further away from the stage. Finnick was standing with Mags near a monitor. I stayed a few feet away. Not knowing if I wanted to listen.

"So Alnus,"

"Al please, we're all friends here Caesar." the crowd chuckled with Al's comment.

"Alright Al. I want to ask you something. I'm sure you heard Marjorie's interview."

"Yeah, the happy news." his smile was more of a grimace.

"She promised one of you would be coming back. How do you feel about that?"

"Well…" Al paused. "She's half right."

"Half right? How so?"

"One of us is going to be coming back." Al paused and looked at the audience "It's going to be her." gasps went through the crowd.

"But Al, the… the baby…" he started getting choked up.

"I know." Al sent a pained smile to Caesar. "But you don't know Mar like I do. She's the strongest person I've ever met. She's the perfect example of a true survivor."

"No offense to Mar at all, but a strong guy like you? You're not someone for the competition to overlook."

"Everyone always thinks that." he laughed. "That I've been protecting and providing for everyone at home." Al looked to Caesar. "It's been all her Caesar. She sacrificed school so she could take care of the younger kids. She works at least four jobs at all times to keep food on the table. Anytime anyone needs her, she's just there. It's like a sixth sense. She just knows." Al took a breath. "She is an amazing woman. I am so proud to call her my little sister." the crowd was in tears. Caesar was speechless. Al took the opportunity to put the icing on the cake. "You know what older brothers do don't you Caesar?" he looked stunned. "They protect their little sisters no matter what." the buzzer sounded. The crowd was in tears, many sobbing out right. The applause roared for Al as he stood up. Bowing slightly for the audience. Al came over to our little group. "Can we go?" I couldn't look at him. It's just so real. It's too real. Al's arm wrapped around my waist as he guided us towards the lift. I was in tears.

"This is really happening." I whispered. "We are really losing you…"

"I'm dead either way Mar. Remember that. Okay?" tears so many fucking tears. Grabbing my perfectly manicured hair in agony.

"I keep fucking crying!"

"I know, at least they put on waterproof eye goop this time. You looked terrifying last time. Like you were melting." Letting out a choked laugh I buried my head into his chest.

"Not funny."

"Then why are you smiling?"

"I'm not smiling." I murmured into his chest. We were already in the apartment by the time I stepped away from him. Finnick walked up to each of us.

"This is special tea that Mags grows back home. It will help you sleep tonight. You both need to rest you've got a big day tomorrow." gently handing us each a cup. I started to bring it to my lips. "Wait to drink it till you've showered. It'll really knock you out." he offered a soft smile. Al nodded.

"I'm already tired. Think I'll head off." he kissed my forehead "see you in the morning Mar." my voice started failing me. So I sent him a nod instead. Mags follows him to her room after giving me a soft hug. I'm breaking, I know it. Then again I have been all week.

"Thanks for everything Sharkfin" I managed. He took the cup setting it on the table and wrapped me up in one fluid motion. We didn't speak. After a few minutes he pulled away. His hand resting on my cheek, brushing away more traitorous tears. They refused to stop falling.

"Come back to me Marmaid." he whispered the same words I'd begged him when he was leaving.

"I'll try." he was holding back, clearly he wanted to kiss me again. I wanted him to. I wanted him to. To hold me close all night promising me everything would be okay. Lying to me that we would be together after this. It would hurt us both though. So I pulled away before our self-control broke. "Night Fin" Turning I picked up the tea and went to wash the crap off of my face. After five minutes I downed the tea, crawled into the bed. Last thoughts being that I was going into the games tomorrow…