Finnick's POV

She did it. She did it. She's coming home. My Marmaid is coming home…

" Oh my god…."

"She did it!"

"Oh Finnick dear she did it!"

" SHE'S COMING HOME!" cheers erupted from the area. They showed Mar coming out of the arena. In an instant I was sprinting towards the remake center hospital. They were preparing for her arrival. Jackson and Aralia joined in my pacing. Euripides too excited about the capitol party he would now be able to attend. Peacekeepers soon flanked each side. I stood protectively in front of Mags.

"President Snow requests your presence."

"My tribute is about to be delivered from the arena."

"Are you coming willingly?" The masked person asked with out remorse or feeling. They were his puppets. We all are… I took a deep breathe and followed the white clad assholes on the way to Snow. He sat in the same office. The sent of roses choking me before the door even opened. Mar will know to hate that smell soon as well.

"Congratulations Mr. Odair, on bringing home your tribute. Quite a telling and powerful young woman." His eyes had yet to meet mine. This man is evil incarnate. And he's about to sink his fangs into the woman I love… I love her. She's coming home. I managed a smile. A true smile. A cough brought me back to reality. I was in the company of one of the most dangerous men in the world. Showing him just how much she could hurt me. "There are things we must discuss Mr. Odair. I assume you know that they way your tribute has acted is unacceptable ."

"Yes sir, I do."

"She has quite a lot of damage to clean up if she wants to live long enough to enjoy the spoils of being a victor."

"She won the games sir. You have to have a victor don't you?" A dangerous glint entered his eyes.

"Not necessarily Mr. Odair." God dammit

"What do I have to do?"

"Corrective action has already been taken on Ms. Scur. Her orphanage suffered an unfortunate fire. Surprisingly most of the children made it." The clear annoyance hinted that this had not been part of his plan. "but many of them have sustained serious damage. They have no home now."

"You'll let them live with Mar." Lips twisting in a sinister smug fashion. Apparently that's exactly what he wanted me to say.

"Of course I will. They are her family after all. Now. What you need to do Mr. Odair is make sure she understands how things work here." My stomach dropped. "The life of her family is depending on it." Swallowing the lump in my throat and the overwhelming desire to punch his wrinkled face. Make it as bloody on the outside as it is on the inside. "She has arrived in surgery Mr. Odair. Off you go." Grinding my teeth I sent a respectful nod. Sprinting back to the hospital of the remake center. Half out of excitement, and half out of anger. He's threatening my Marmaid and her family. I don't care who he is. No one gets to do that..

Aralia, Mags, Jackson and Euripides were all sitting in the waiting room. Euripides shot up and began chirping in an overexcited fashion. Don't strangle the escort. Don't strangle the escort. Aralia shared my irritation. Mags gave her a reassuring squeeze. The please don't kill him here squeeze.

"She's in surgery"

"How bad Leah?"

"Could be worse. She was breathing on her own when they brought her in."

"She has lost a lot of blood. Her shoulder looked so…." Jackson's paling face left a clear message. It could be worse but it was still bad.

"Have they told you anything?"

"Not yet." Sending a nod Aralia's way I focused on the door in front of us. My Marmaid is behind that door. And she actually gets to be mine…

It's been 5 hours. 300 minutes of pacing. 18,000 seconds of agony. Waiting. I don't believe in god or anything spiritual like our ancestors did. At least we are told they did. With how shitty Panem is. There's no point in thinking about this stuff. Right now, I wish I had something… some one… somewhere else to look. She could be dead. She can't be dead. It's been five hours. It's the Capitol they bring people back from the dead. They kill more then they save. They need their Victor. Snow needs his new pawn. He needs her alive.

For now.

When the doors finally opened I body checked the doctor. It was not planned. Why would I want to hit the guy who is saving Mar's life? But I hate waiting. The others asked him every question imaginable. I held his gaze. Eyes firm. The doctor shrunk under the intensity.

"She's alive, but the damage done to her shoulder was extensive. She was lucky to get here when she did."

"When?" my words didn't seem like they belonged to me. That my voice could be so hard and broken.

"You can go see her now. The nurse will explain further. Please excuse me." The Man squirmed away. My eyes trained on the door before me. She's behind this door…

Then I'm in front of a sickly thin woman. She is lying unconscious on bright white bed in her overly sterile room. Despite the burn of the bleach still hanging in the air, the blood was still there. Her blood. Taking her hand in mine I sat on the side of her bed. "I need you…." to the left of her bed sat a vase. Filled with Snow's white roses. The vase was quickly disposed of via the aposing wall. The shattered glass called all the others to the room. I stared at the comatose love of my life.

They are keeping her in a medically induced coma. Her shoulder blade needs to be rebuilt. It's what's taking so long I guess. Things haven't been quiet while we were waiting. They tried to do a full body polish on her. The whole team and I damn near tore apart the doctor who mentioned it. She was decorated in scars. They spanned every part of her body according to Aralia. I want to see them all. Kiss every inch of this beautiful amazing woman and show her how amazing she is. How inspiring. How loved. I stay as long as they let me. I'd sell my soul to Snow to keep her safe. To let me stay with her. I need to see her eyes open. Hear her voice. God I'm desperate…. But this is my Marmaid. We're finally going to be together again. And this is just the beginning.

I flirt my way into her room each night. Side stepping each incriminating question. I am Finnick Odair Capitol Darling. Smirking at the thought.

I'm not supposed to fall in love.

'Oops…'

Mar's POV

Warm or cold. They are the only things I know. My warmth comes a lot but it still goes away. I don't know why it's leaving but I wish it wouldn't. I'm safe when I'm warm. I know it. I've tried stopping it a few times. But my body isn't cooperating. I'm a lead shell. Might as well be dead for as useful as I'm being. I know I'm not though. The dead can't feel. And I feel warmth.

Finnick's POV

I woke up with Mar in my arms for the 7th night in a row. Preparations have been made and the people are getting antsy. They'll force her awake today. But they were forcing her to be in a coma so maybe she's been awake. It doesn't matter. I should see her open her eyes today. Her life as a victor starts today. It's a mix of dread and excitement. I get her back today, but so does the capitol. At least with the stunt she pulled as her final kill none of the men appear willing to risk the safety of their dicks. Highlights from her whole games has been on constant reruns. I cringe every time.

We've talked strategy, the team and I. Aralia and Jackson are making her interview dress. It's mostly to fill the time. Nothing will be set in stone. Nothing matters until Mar wakes up. We don't know what her mental state is going to be. That's what scares me the most. Who is she going to be? The Mar I knew growing up was gone a long time ago. I'm just scared. What if she doesn't let me be there for her. I'll have to watch her breaking and not be able to do anything about it. She's already suffered so much. And she understands. God she knows. I won't be alone anymore. I won't be alone...

Mar's POV

My warmth was back. It hadn't left in a while. I'd been trying to open my eyes to see what it was. But my body had a mind of its own. This is a nice place though. Wherever I am. I can't remember how I got here. There's no way for me to leave either. I tried to get out to see my warmth. But no dice. I'm just here. I wonder if this is me now. Something... bad had happened. It was cold and painful. No, painful isnt a strong enough word. I don't... know... I have to get home though. I have to. How do I get there from here? I've been blown a shore.

'We are two poor wayward orphans who washed up in the Capitol from District four... Who's voice is that?

'Mama don't go!' That girl sounds so scared... why would her mother leave her? Why do I feel guilty?

'I always keep my promises.' Is that my voice?

'He said he was just lonely and wanted some company' my stomach churned at those words joined the growing chorus of sounds bouncing around me.

'What makes you think you can touch me bitch?!' It was mostly the same voice. That's me..?

'This is really happening. You're really dying...' someone died. Someone important. Someone I love is dead.

'Come back to me Marmaid.' My warmth. That man's voice echoed the loudest among the others. Soon it was all I could hear.

Finnick's POV

"Come back to me Marmaid." She was taken off the medicine two days ago. She still hasn't woken up yet. I haven't left. Once. I'm getting desperate. Legitimately losing my mind desperate. I haven't slept in 23 hours. The last time I did it was because Aralia slipped me some sedative instead of coffee. To say I was pissed was an understatement. Mar still wasn't awake though... if it weren't for her chest rising with each breath... she could be dead. She hasn't responded to anything I've been saying. "God, Mar please... please come back to me... please..." She might not even be in there anymore Odair. Get it together. I'd help her. If she'll let you. I'll protect her and her family. With everything I am. She doesn't need or want your help. I need her. When did you get so pathetic? I'm always pathetic, I'm just... not lying to myself right now...

Mar's POV

My eyes finally open and Im pissed. Where ever I am It's brighter then the sun. I had to fight just to open my eyes, then I get the sun hanging 3 feet in front of me. Yeah. Not happy about that. Scowl fully formed I opened my eyes again. Lifting my arms is also difficult. What the actual fuck? My left arm moves with out any problems. My right arm feels like someone is laying on it. Tugging didn't get the weight to move. What do I do now? Hit it? Yup I'm hitting it. Swinging back I used all my force and hit the lump holding my arm down. Bad decision..

"FUCK!" My voice sounds like shit. What the fuck is going on. Where the hell am I?! My eyes still won't focus. Fear is mixing with my frustration. I think I broke my hand. What the hell is going on! I-i-i-I can't move. I want to go home. I want to go home. Swinging repeatedly at the lump with every thing I had. Tears streaming down my face. A males voice grunted and groaned. I don't know who that is. Panic flared giving me more strength than I expected. The man started saying things.

"Mar stop. Mar calm down. Mar it's me. Mar it's Finnick. Your safe. You're here with me."

"Who the fuck are you?!" Just breathing hurt. My throat was so dry. But I'm not safe. Not here. Mostly cause I don't know where 'here' is. So I'm screaming. Thrashing. Fighting. If this bastard thinks I'm letting this fly, on national telivision no less, then he has another thing coming. I need an opening. But I can't see. Soon the man has me pinned beneath him. My breathing is short and ragged. His legs strattle my waist, effectivly pinning my arms. His hands clamp my shoulder and mouth. Tears prick from my useless eyes and the mans grip instantly softens. Fingers run through my hair gently and sweet words are whispered.

"Mar. Mar? It's Finnick. It's your sharkfin. Do... do you remember me?" I didn't or couldn't respond. My breathing rate picked up. I don't know this person. "Hey hey hey hey. Mar I'm - I'm sorry I scared you. I'd never hurt you. You're safe with me Mar. I swear on my life, I'll do anything to protect you." He is either really good at lying or he's being honest. I still can't see shit. It's frustrating as hell and I'm scared. But in the back of my head there is a voice whispering softly that I am safe. Safe with him. Whoever he is. A broken sob leaves my lips.

"Wh-wh-where am I?" The man took a sharp breath.

"Do you know who I am Mar?"

"Who is Mar?! Is is that my n-n-name?"

"Y-yes it is. M-m-marjorie Louise S-sc-ur." Marjorie Louise Scur. Eat. Now. That voice was different. A rich baritone compaired to the smooth voice of the man on top of me. They aren't the same person. Then who are they?

"W-wh-who?" I hate feeling weak. That's all I am. In this moment. Weak. Lost. I'm not supposed to be this way. I'm not supposed to be this way.

Finnick's POV

She wouldn't look at me. She was shaking. Terrified... of me. She doesn't know who you are. "Mar... Mar. Look... look at me please.." my voice was barely above a whisper. I cupped her face gently. She was blinking like it was too bright. She hasn't opened her eyes in over a week you idiot. I smacked my head. "Hold on, I'll be right back." I breathed. I wasn't comforting her at all. Her face said that much. But hopefully this would help.

The lights were dimmed, window shades all closed. I squinted through the dark towards the bed and she seemed to relax a bit. Walking back over slowly her eyes started to adjust a bit. Each move I made was deliberate and clear. She moved away from me and a part of my heart cracked.

"I know you won't believe me Mar, but I would never hurt you okay?" My hands up, voice soft. She relaxed further. "Do you believe me?"

"No..." her voice was soft and unsure. I nodded softly. Swallowing the lump in my throat.

"That's... that's okay..."

Mar's POV

His voice sounded hurt. His eyes. I know those. The color, made me relax. It felt safe. He watched me carefully. Like I might break. Why would I break? Another voice sounded in the back of my head.

It's. It's too fucking much okay! You're keeping me together Al. You always call my bullshit. Always push back. No one else has the balls to do that Al. How. How am I supposed to keep my promise?! Why would you? You know that trying to do this is going to tear me apart!

"Where is Al?" My brother. "He's-he's-he's...?"

"He's dead Mar... do you.. do you know where you are?" My eyes started to water. My breathing rate picked up. Lungs constricting. Shaking my head violently. "Hey hey hey. Shhhh. It's okay Mar, you're safe. I swear you are." He gently cupped my face. He leaned forward. Face close to mine. I know you.

"I know you..." my eyes leaking profusely. He nodded with a sad smile as well.

"You do. Very well. We grew up together." He took a deep breath. "We were both the babies." He sniffed and laughed. "I was an only child. And you had yourbig sister. Ka-"

"Karielle..." his smile was soft and sad. "You... had an older cousin... named Jayce..." my eyes softened as I remember. A little red headed girl being chased by a blond boy on the beach. Then four children all laughing together "they... made fun of us. Said we'd grow up and get married..." i brought my gaze back to him. Taking in every inch of his face. The stubble growing on his chin. The bags under his eyes. The desperation. "They... they are both dead... aren't they?" His nod was soft and short.

"For about three years."

"Jayce died at sea?" A nod. "Kari... died giving birth... oh my god Ari! Where is Arianna! Is she okay?! I have to see her! Where is she?!"

"Hey. Hey. Hey. She's safe at home okay?" My face was in his hands again. How do you know? He doesn't.

"I need to get home. I need to get home. Now Finnick."

"We can't yet Mar. You need to get better first." I shook my head violently

"I don't matter Finn. They do. They need me Finnick. I need to go!" He took a sharp breath. Resting his forehead against mine.

"You are the most important person in my world." What is he stupid?

"Your life must really suck.." he laughed bitterly. Removing his forehead he sent me a sad smile. Beautiful face just... broken.

"It does..." his eyes traced my face with a tiny lazy smile. "But you make it worth living." My eyes furrowed as he leaned in. Something snapped him out of his daze. "Are you hungry Mar?" I shook my head. He nodded. "Will you take a bite or two of some applesauce? You really need to try. You haven't eaten solid food in over a week." The Games. That doesn'tmake sense. I ate solid food a bunch of times. Wait. My shoulder. Lifting my gown I looking at my once damaged joint. There's a killer scar. I started to trace the lines. "They wanted to give you a full body polish. I wouldn't let them. I know how much you liked your scars."

"How...?"

"It's the Capitol... You've been in a coma for 8 days. They kept you under so the medicine could work and you wouldn't agitate the wound while it heals." It was so... it didn't hurt.. but. I still remember feeling the spear shoved through my shoulder. If I close my eyes and I'm there. Opening them I'm back with Finnick. There's no spear. Just the remnants of where it was. "Mar...?"

"I can feel it." I breathed. Looking up at Finnick terrified. "If I close my eyes I can feel it." He nodded quickly.

"It's going to be like that for a long time babe. But it gets easier... after time..." his hand was in mine. Thumb tracing my knuckles. "You won't be alone, though. I'll be here. And Mags. We'll take care of you. Promise."

Mar's POV

It's been another week and eating still hurts like a son of a bitch. I still can't have anything too rich. But luckily I can have vegetables. I've fallen in love with them. We don't have many in Four. They are gentle on my stomach and so good. Finnick has been prepping me for my interviews tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to watch my games... on live telivision...

"Mar, are you with me?" Finnick.

"No." I grunted out. Crossing my arms. I don't want to think or talk about this. I want to go home.

"Mar... I know you are tired..."

"Tired?!" My eyes snapped alert. Finnick pinched his nose. "I'm more then tired Finnick."

"Mar. I know what you are going through. I did this two years ago. I'm here to help you. I need you to to pay attention."

"This is stupid Finnick!"

"Your image is everything Mar! You need them to love you."

"So I can be a sex slave?!"

"So you can stay alive!"

"Why does it matter so much?! I'm already dead." He put his head in his hands "I feel dead Finnick! I feel cold! I'm always so cold!" Tears started to pool and shivers started wracking my body. My arms flew to my sides. Finnick's soon joining. My head sliding under his chin. His fingers ran through my treated hair. The once messy strands had been soaked in chemicals and is now silky smooth. We'd gone back and forth every day since I woke up. "I'm so scared Finnick. What if, what if I say something wrong?" I started shaking. "If they died because of me..."

Finnick's POV

You already have... grabbing her and pulling her close. I kissed her forehead repeatedly. Rocking her back and forth. No matter what I do she'll be hurt.

"I love you Mar... So much. So so so much." If I hold her close enough maybe I can hide her from the world. From Snow. Tears prickling at my eyes. She makes me cry so much. It breaks my heart seeing her like this. She's muttering to herself. I don't know what though. "Mar, baby?" Her face was buried in my chest. She turned slightly and I could start to hear her.

"Lying in the long long grass. Blossom on the trees. Springtime's slipping away my love. Yeah springtime's slipping away. When it comes around again. It will never be the same. Heaven's slipping away my love. Yeah heaven's slipping away. Yeah heaven's slipping away" a sad smile played on my lips as she sang.

"Walking through this changing season. Sorrow spreads it's wings. We can't keep a hold on time. Just receive what it brings." That's all life is, dealing with what you are given.

"Lying in the long long grass. Clouds are drifting by. Springtime's slipping away my love. Yeah springtime's slipping away. Dreaming in this lost domain. Which you'll never see again. Heaven's slipping away my love. Yeah heaven's slipping away. Yeah heaven's slipping away"

"I won't ever slip away babe." She didn't reply. Just kept singing.

"Walking through this changing season. Sorrow spreads it's wings. Light a candle in your heart. Light it to the spring. Walking through this changing season. Sorrow spreads it's wings. We can't keep a hold on time. Just recieve what it will bring" I don't know where her mind is. But it's not here. Our Mom's sang this to us when we were younger. I rested my head against hers. My deeper voice blended with hers perfectly as I started to sing.

"Mellow evenings in the spring. Full of warmth and hope. You are dreaming unaware. Unaware that you are letting go

Walking through this changing season. Sorrow spreads it wings. We can't keep a hold on time. Just recieve what it will bring. Walking through this lonely season. Sorrow spreads it's wings. Light a candle in your heart. Light it to the spring

Springtime's slipping away my love. Yeah springtime's slipping away. Heaven's slipping away my love. Yeah heaven's slipping away." Her breathing had calmed. We were both relaxed, a rare treat. She snuggled closer.

"I can't hurt them Finnick... I can't." I pulled her head away. Sorrow and pain in my heart.

"Mar... you can't save them." Hurt flashed across her features. "You can't babe." She started to shake again. But I can't keep lying to her. "You can't control Snow love. And he's the only way to guarantee their safety."

"I-I-If I-I do what h-h-he wants?"

"There's a good chance the others will be okay. But I need you to focus for me so that we can make sure there aren't any more slip ups."

Mar's POV

There have been slip ups? My eyes furrowed and searched his face for answers. "What slip ups?" He ran his hand through his hair. Letting me go and sitting back. His eyes held regret. "What slip ups Finnick?!"

"You questioned the games... And the Capitol Mar... You... refused the generosity of the Capitol. You refused a Capitol gift."

"They are fucking sick Finnick!" Belting the words out without a second thought.

"That!" He whisper yelled "is what is going to get more of your loved ones killed!" More... regret flashed again. He didn't plan to tell me that. Who died?

"What the hell happened Finnick!?" He took a deep shuttered breathe. I pinned him to the floor with ease. He didn't fight. "ANSWER ME!" He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"...there was a fire..." my heart stopped. He kept speaking but I stopped listening. A fire. Closing my eyes I felt the heat.

Kari and I were late for dinner. But I had woven and cast my first net today. Mom and Dad had no idea. They've been so busy with work, Kari and I wanted to surprise them with extra fish for dinner. We were laughing as we ran to the house. Beaming with pride I held a 5 pound salmon while running along the familiar path. Finnick would be soooo jealous. I laughed excited to brag to my best friend. My prized catch was soon laying in the dirt as we saw the smoke rising from our street. Kari ran ahead trying to find a way to stop the fire. It raged so hot. Then we heard the screaming. Our parents wailed in agony. Kari ripped moss from a near by rock. She shoved it into my ears. I couldn't hear them anymore. Kari rocked me back and fourth as our lives burned to the ground. No one was around. No neighbors even bothered to help. We were completely alone. When the flames turned to embers Kari let go. Tears and soot covered our faces. Two Peacekeepers appeared grabbing us each by the arms. I looked back at the smoldering remains of our house. Kari looked forward; And she never looked back.

Fire became my greatest fear. Who had it taken from me this time?

"Mar? M-m-mar I'm I'm sorry... I-I-I-I should have warned you." His voice was soft and pleading. He felt guilty I know he did. But his regret isn't going to do shit for me.

"Yes. You should have." My voice was cold. I shoved him away. Sick to my stomach. He kept talking. I wasn't listening. I stormed into my room and lost it. Sobbing uncontrollably. I slammed on the floor. Screamed at the top of my lungs. Agony. Death. Betrayal. Everything. "Al..." my lungs were raw much like they had been two nights before the games. "Ah-hal I need you. I ne-need you so ba-hadly. But you aren't here... you aren't here..." my arms wrapped tightly around my body. "They're dead because of me. Because Finnick didn't tell me. Why wouldn't he tell me?! I need you Al... I... I don't know what to do...I can't do this without you. I'm not strong enough..." 'then figure out how to be dammit!' Al's voice echoed in the empty parts of my heart. I need to find the strength... I don't know when... or how. I'll be weak and scared... just for tonight.

Finnick's POV

You. Fucking. Idiot. Still sitting on my knees I dropped to the floor. Banging my head against the floor. Mar's screams were clear as day. I'd promised to be there for her. And dammit I need to try. Opening the door, it wasn't locked... still wouldn't open. Must be baricaded with something - a dresser I'm guessing - I could try to break it down but... what's the point ? She's crying and wailing because of me.

She started crying for Al... I couldn't breathe. Each ragged gasp stabbed with bitter regret. I could leave. Go get drunk. Passout. But I promised... this is my fault. I curled into a ball beside her door. Listening to her sobs and screams. Mine silently joining.

She'd stopped screaming. At least I think she had. Im not sure. I could hear them echoing in my head. I don't think I've been this broken since I got home... not even after my first client... the sound of wood scraping against wood made me jump. She opened the door and meet my eyes.

"I know you're sorry." Her eyes softened and a sliver of hope grew. While continuing her eyes slowly hardened. "But I'm not. So save it." She hissed the last words. Arms crossed tightly across her chest. She looked to Euripides. "How long till the celebration?" She held herself with so much authority. Euripides gaped a bit. Her look turned into a glare as the seconds slipped on. "

"Umm, we have about four hours."

"So I was screaming all night?" I couldn't form words. Euripides managed a weak nod. "I'm going to shower. Then" jabbing a finger towards Euripides. Said man jumped at the action. Her scowl was intimidating me. He was smart not to soeak. "I need you and Aralia to help get me camera ready." A short nod was shared between the two. Mar's eyes hardened again "You will keep any and all comments to yourself." With that she turned from Al's old room and headed towards hers. Back straight, shoulders squared and broken in every way possible.

Mar's POV

Euripides had taken the smart route and kept silent while he helped me clean up. He'd answer any question I asked, but that was it. If we were in a different world, I'd beat myself up about being such an unbareable bitch. I just can't find it in me to care right now.

"Victory celebration and dinner tonight?"

"Y-y-yes."

"When is Aralia coming?"

"I'm right here." Turning towards the door she stood with a garment bag. Her voice was soft and sad. Taking a deep breathe trying to bite back the insult that's hanging on the tip of my tongue. It's not their fault. They are his pawns as much as I am. After several beats of awkward silence my mouth started moving on it's own.

"Do you know who he killed?" They both stoppedat the same time. No one moved. So they knew something. No one spoke thought. "Dammi-"

"Ruddy, Dedreick and Arianna are all alive. They were the people who were interviewed for the final 8. I-I don't know anything else..." Euripides was the one to cut off my budding verbal attack. Not who I expected... Aralia can't even look me in the eye... Their sympathy gave me no comfort. I was pissed. They are just trying to help you Mar. I can hear Al scolding me. He was always the kinder one. We stayed quiet for the rest of the prep time.

I was hearded out of the room every one msking there way to the remake center for the 3 hour cerimony.

"You're going to come up last." Finnick was explaining. "I'll come on stage right before you. Arali-"

"Will you stay with me?" I couldn't make eye contact. Not with anyone. But I was terrified. Nerves and dread growing with each inch we moved closer to the remake center. My voice was small and pathetic. Just how I felt. Finnick was looking at me. I could feel it.

"They... uh they've been speculating we are in an...uh relationship..."

"If you don't want to then say no Odair." My voice dropping at least fifty degrees in tonal temperature. Nose snarling at the rejection.

"That's not it Mar." I heard his hair shuffle, probably shaking his head. "I just..." his voice was soft. Not out of pity, but fear. "I don't know if you will get in trouble if I do. We-we both have images to keep up..." voice dropping to the same broken sound I'd uttered before. He's just as trapped as I am.

"Can you stay with me back stage?" I glanced his way. He nodded with a gentle smile. I think he knew I need him right now. "I'm really scared... what...? What if I say something wrong Finnick..?" The nerves picked up again. Finnick grabbed my hand before I could start my panic attack. The contact helped. His hands were still course. The same hands thst held me less then three werks ago. I can't even imagine kissing him right now. Being with him... I wouldn't even want him if Al was here. But he isn't. His eyes were trained on me as I tried getting a grip.

"I know I'm not who you want..."

"You've cost me a lot Finnick." Anger seeping back in to my heart. "I don't know how much because I don't even know who died." Tension filled our limo. Any 'moment' we'd had was over. I wasn't letting go of his hand.

"Can you ever-"

"I don't know. But I need you right now so shut up and do your job." His hand squeezed mine. I don't know what the gesture was for. Neither of us let go. He helped me out of the limo. Keeping a firm grip. It's good I might fall over if he didn't.

'Thank you... I swear these shoes will kill me before the tributes get to.'

Tears pricked at my eyes remembering the similar moment Al and I shared at the tribute parade. Finnick pulled me in to a short hug and kissed my forehead. "You're doing great Mar."

"I miss him." I breathed into Fin's shirt. He still manages to smell like home. Even here in the Capitol.

"He's proud of you." I opened my mouth. "Don't argue Mar. You kept your promise. It was a hard promise to keep." I can break it at any time. "I know you can choose to break it at any time..." what the fuck.. "but we both know you are stronger then that Mar. Even if you don't feel like you are." That was creepy. I feel a little better than before though. Peacekeepers hearded us towards where we would be lifted on to the stage. My grip on Finnick's hand tightened. He murmured sweet encouraging words. But I couldn't calm down.

"Okay Mar..." he tugged me towards him. "What's the game plan?" I swallowed hard. My throat on fire for no reason. "Mar..?"

"Be mysterious but humble. Be honest but vauge. My actions were out of grief and I wasn't thinking clearly." Finnick nodded softly. He brushed a few curls out of my face. The physical contact was what I needed in this moment. Instinctively leaning into his touch.

"Good. I'll be off to the side if you need me." Taking a breath he cupped my face. "Don't be afraid to cry... it's authentic and will back up your story. But... dont cry too much." How the hell am I supposed to know what too much crying is.

"I don't want to watch my games Finn." A few tears leaked out. His gentle thumbs brushed them away.

"I know. I wish you had more time to adjust but the Capitol is getting antsy." Nodding in understanding we both shared a sigh. Caesar's introduction sounded. Five minutes. I closed my eyes softly. Releasing my face Finnick rested his forehead against mine. "You can do this Mar. You can." He whispered that again and again. A part of me wanted to punch him and scream how I know I can, I don't want to. I shouldn't have to. A Peacekeeper grabbed Finnick leading him over to Mags. I panicked for a second. Finn sent sn encouraging smile my way before being lifted up. One minute. They rose up and I was alone in the dark. It wasn't for long. Soon the blinding lights of the Capitol flooded my vision. Somehow I managed a smile. I could see myself on camera which was a relief. I was holding up okay. For now.

Ceaser joined me and lead the way to our seats. His electric smile shining at over 1000 volts. To hell with the hydrodamn in Two, figure out how to get power from Ceaser. He's got too much energy anyway. My thought didn't protray on my face thankfully. It's just lying to the entire country... we've got this...

I know Finnick said it was important to stay engaged in the footage. But the second Al appeared on screen I had to look away.

"Are you alright my dear?" No I'm not alright you ass hole. That's my dead brother up there.

"I'm managing Ceaser... it's just... hard to see him and hear his voice. I still look for him and then I remember... it's been hard..." I'm breaking but I need to feed into the Capitol ego. "I know with all of the love and support of Panem that I'll be able to get through this..." I added a teary smile to the camera. The crowd went wild. Glancing towards Finnick he and Mags wore proud smiles. He sent me a subtle nod. I'd done well.

The clips of Al and I were focused on our relationship. His death came on and I shut my eyes. I don't care if it's not what they want... this is footage of my brother dying... Caeser's overly manicured hand held mine gently. I sent him a fake greatful smile. Trying my hardest to block out the sounds of my screaming. We skipped over most of the games. Focusing on the other kills. None of the deaths I'd watched were in the final cut. My apologies weren't shown. Nor when I'd cut a piece of myself off to leave it with the fallen tributes. It was better that way. Finally the battle between the Careers then Daniel and I played in full. He really did become a bastard...

They did show my conversation with Daniel as we were dying. It surprised me. I wouldn't think that would be something Snow would allow. Then it was time for my crowning. My first face to face meeting with President Snow... he was everything I thought he would be. His eyes were even more menacing up close. He scrutinized my every feature. I tried to not shrink during our stare down.

"Congratulations on your victory."

"Thank you sir." I mumbled. Gritting my teeth.

"I expect great things from you Ms. Scur." We both knew what he was insinuating. My shoulders squared. Shit...

"I'll be sure to deliver." My voice growing colder.

"I hope you do." He muttered with a murderous smile. I took my final bow and walked off stage guided by Finnick. No one spoke until we were in the limo.

"What did he say Mar?" Finnick breathed. My eyes watered up. We exchanged a look that said it all. Every muscle in his body tensed. I grabbed his hand. Holding firmly. Keeping him grounded. We'll have to do this a lot I suppose...

The next day was my interview. Then home. I just want to get out of the damn Capitol. Ceaser was kind enough to avoid talking about Al too much. He did mention what happened to my stylist team. Since they were not present the day before.

"Well apparently they weren't very fond of me. And didn't want to take any credit for my appearance." With a nonchalant shrug I continued "their loss." We went back and forth a bit more before Ceaser got to the question of my final battle.

"So tell me Marjorie, your final kill has to have been one of the most outrageous we've ever seen." I laughed feeling each of the men in the audience cringe.

"I didn't think you'd want to talk about that Ceasar. I understand it's an uncomfortable topic for most men." The women in the audience laughed. Ceaser joined, though he seemed quite uncomfortable.

"Ha ha! That it is, but we all need to know. What was going through your mind?" it was the apex of the games though.

"That's an easy one. I was thinking, 'If this bastard thinks I'm letting this fly, on national telivision no less, then he has another thing coming.' I also remembered what I'd learned in science class." Lie lie lie. I never had time for school. "About how an erection happens you know. And I didn't want to be raped, or die. And I had a promise to keep."

"Yes you did. And against all odds you've survived!" He chuckled uncomfortably. "But please tell us more. How were you able to bite that body part off of his body?"

"It was the craziest thing I've ever done." I stated continuing. The audience was hanging on my every word. "But it was the best opening I had. He thought I was down for the count. The Capitol ended up saving my life."

"Really how so? Towards the end you refused Sponsor gifts. It was an unorthodox move."

"Expect the unexpected Ceaser." I chuckled. "But I would like to apologize to my sponsors. And thank them all for beleiving in me. From the bottom of my heart thank you. I wouldn't be alive withour your help." I dropped my gaze from the camera flickimg to the floor. "But towards the end, this was just something I had to do on my own." I turned to Caesar. "My strenght and greif is what drove me. After losing Al in that place a part of me snapped." thats putting it mildly. Going back for a moment I frowned. To the snow and the cold and the death..."A piece of me died." the warmth from my body had faded. I felt the cold seeping in.

"Is that what you were doing? Leaving a piece of yourself." Ceasar's voice snapped me out of my mind before I got too lost.

"Yes," i should not have said that. "stricken with the greif of my own loss I couldn't do anything but think of all the people we don't know who were waiting at home. Watching the death of their loved one." Grasping my chest and tugging a little on my heart the sensation rushed over me again. My perfect posture faltered. Hunching forward under the weight of emotion. "It was such an imence feeling of guilt and sympathy. All I could think of is 'what if this were Ari, or Deidrick or Ruddy.' and I was at home watching them take their last breath alone. I would want someone to be there. I'd want someone to save them, but the tributes I encountered were long gone. Watching Al's death was horrifying but at least I got to hold him. I… just…" snap out of it Mar. Do not cry on national television. "I didn't want the families or fallen triutes to think they would be forgotten. Because I will never forget." Looking to the crowd they stared at me in awe and respect. It was odd. Caesar however looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Such a caring action. I'm sure it will not be forgotten any time soon." He cleared his throat. "But you were going to elaborate on how the Capitol saved your life..?"

"Oh yes. Well, I've never had carrots before. No real vegetables in Four you know. And they quickly became my favorite snack." Sending a smile to the audience I grabbed a carrot from the tray resting in front of me. Aralia made sure to have it set up for me. "As for the question of how I bit his dick off well…." Taking a bite I chewed slowly. Making sure each crunch was heard clearly. After my snack was swallowed I continued with a wicked smirk. "It was just like that." The horror that spread across the audience was laughable. I was trying to hard to be serious but the way all their faces paled was hilarious.

"A breathtaking display from a strong and beautiful woman. Ladies and gentlemen! The Capitol Whirlwind from District Four and the winner of the 67th annual Hunger Games, Ms. Marjorie Scur!" well.. the plan was to blow them away... mission accomplished I guess... Finnick said I had to smile. Smile. They are cheering, I must have done well. Where is Finnick or Mags?

The lights dimmed and I stumbled off stage. The second I was off stage the panic I've been holding down started to come up. Finnick. Mags. Aralia. Jackson. Finnick. Mags. Aralia. Jackson. Finnick. Mags. Aralia. Jackson. Where-wh-where are they?! Pressure started building on my chest. Finnick. Mags. Aralia. Jackson. I vaguely acknowledge there are other people back stage. But they aren't my people. Finnick. Mags. Aralia. Jackson. Where. Where are they?

"F-fin-nnick.." my heart was poundimg in my ears and my arms started to shake. I'm not safe here. Where are they? My hands started patting my waist and thighs for my knived but they aren't there. Why don't I have my knives?! I'm weaponless and alone. "M-m-mags?" Is he hurting them. Did I not do well? Where are they?!

Two hands clapped onto my shoulders. I jumped spinning around to see two Peacekeepers. I am small. I am threatened. But I AM NOT going down without a fight.

"This way Ms. Scur."

"What does Snow want?" I breathed out. Mostly to myself. I think they heard me though. That's based on the unnecessarily tight grip the two Peacekeepers used to hold me. I'd have bruses on both arms in under an hour I'm sure. This is your life now. It's a depressing thought. The kids will never go with out anything ever again. That gives me solace. Then I am standing in front of a large oak door. The smell of roses already causing my stomach to churn. A heavy fist knocked on the door.

"Come in!" The door opened and all of the air left my lungs. The lighting was clear, and surrounded by beautiful mahogany was President Snow. The man of my nightmares. Hiding my trembling is useless. He can tell; I know he can. Once the Peacekeepers are excused and the doors shut Snow's eyes meet mine.

"Who have you killed sir?" Snow laughed. An outright damn near joyful laugh.

"You truly are a remarkable young woman." His sick smile remained. Amusement oozed from his eyes. He's enjoying this. Give him what he wants.

"Sir, I understand that you enjoy the power you hold over all of Panem. And its clear that my discomfort is bringing you even more pleasure. But could you please answer my question?" His silence was not helping my nerves. He was enjoying this more. "W-wh-where is my team?" I know that I'm squirming now. I know that there is not much I can do. I'm playing into his hand. Hoping he shows a few cards of his own. I'll only ever see what he wants me to see.

"Your team has been escorted back to the Tribute Center."

"W-why? W-wh-what did I do?!" Tears and panic filled my soul. "Di-di-did I say something wrong?" My breathes started coming in even shorter bursts. Through my teary eyes I could see Snow's frown. This isn't what he wants to see. Rocking back and forth while rubbing my arms I looked down. "Wh-where are th-they?"

"I told you Ms. Scur."

"I want to see Leah. Please." Snow was now glaring at me. He wants weak and scared, not crazy. "Leah is safe. Safe is safe. I am safe. My name is Marjorie. I live in district Four. I am an orphan. I hate oranges. I love purple or yellow carrots. I love to swim. I am... i am.. in the... Ca..Ca... where. Where am I?" I started to shake. "Where? Where? Where? Where?" I muttered the question repeatedly. Snow was clearly not impressed. I was soon dragged from the room and quickly sent back to the tribute center. Thank god. It had only been half an act. I am terrified, but I know where I am. I know what day it is - Thursday - I leave for District Four tomorrow. I don't know where my team is. Or how my kids are. Or if they hate me. But I know that I have enough money to keep us all taken care of. Forever. The Peacekeepers were not careful with my 'shaking' form. Once in the elevator I was as alone as anyone can be in the Capitol. The elevator dinged and I was slammed into the back of the elevator by a salt smelling broad body.