A/N. Hi Guys.
I've had this idea buzzing around my head for the past few days so I decided to get it out. I worked most of this out while I was brushing and mopping stairs at work today. Hope you like it. It's also the first time ever I'm writing from a first person perspective. Please tell me if I'm doing okay. Thanks. Have fun
I sat in my office going through the large pile of files on my desk, no matter how many I got through I swear they multiplied while I wasn't looking. Spence says that there are 50 serial killers lose at this very moment and it was my job to pick which one the BAU went after next. Mostly it was me, Jennifer Jareau, Media Liaison. The really bad ones went straight to Hotch, our unit Chief.
I glanced towards the coffee machine through my window and caught sight of the most beautiful brunette pouring herself a cup. She doesn't know I think she's beautiful. I messed up BIG TIME there and I'm still figuring out how to fix it.
I grew up in a small town and I guess at times I still have that mind-set. I was a high school jock. Things were expected.
Dating guys on the football team. I had friends on the football team but no one I liked LIKED. So I dated each only two or three times so I got a reputation for being picky. It worked out in my favour as I never got close enough to anyone to get serious. Ever since Ros died I always kept a part of myself back. Fear of getting hurt I guess.
Because of that I was probably one of the few virgins to graduate high school. My two best friends had both lost their virginity, one to her long-time boyfriend when she turned 16 and the other to her date after Homecoming.
Me? I lost mine to my college roommate after we'd both had far too much to drink. MY first sexual experience was with a girl. At the time I didn't know what to think. Luckily Kelly gave us both an out. She had laughed and said college was the time to experiment and that we'd been each other's Guinea pigs. It wasn't long till I had sex with a guy. It was different and I personally thought Kelly was better.
Half way through I changed to Journalism and after taking refuge in a book store in a rainstorm I heard some guy talk about working for the FBI. I bought his book and he signed it. I still have it and David Rossi, its author has an office off the bullpen. He recognised me when I showed it to him.
That brings me to the FBI. The BAU was like a second family to me and Penelope Garcia was my BFF.
My job kept me busy enough that by the end of the day all I wanted to do was go home to my apartment , soak in a hot bath, watch a little TV and go to bed. It didn't leave much room for a social life unless you were like Derek and Elle, happy to pick someone up for a one night stand. I was never comfortable with that back in college after a wild party. So me and Garcia came up with having monthly 'Girls Nights'. We did invite Elle, she just looked at us like we were crazy.
Elle left after killing an unsub who had been raping women. There was no doubt that he was guilty which is why she was able to resign instead of being arrested. Gideon had taken off without a word to anyone, not even Spence. The BAU gained David Rossi and one, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss.
She was striking with her dark eyes and her straight dark brown hair. She was smart and funny and could beat Spence at chess. She was almost as mad about science-fiction as he was.
Emily had accepted our invitation to join me and Penelope for drinks then a movie night. She'd fitted in perfectly and had enjoyed herself. The three of is became good friends. I felt so comfortable around the brunette, on the jet I always sat next to her and she would tell me about her childhood in Europe. I in turn would tell her about growing up in a small town. After one case where the unsub made the murders look like suicides. It had dredged up so many painful memories that Emily had offered to drive me home once the jet landed. I was tired and figured if I told her she would leave.
My mistake, telling her had been so hard that by the time I told her about my sister giving me her favourite necklace I was sobbing. Emily had hugged me and held me until I calmed down then she put me to bed, tucked me in and asked if I wanted her to stay. I had said she could go home to Sergio, her cat.
After that we were closer, I started being more honest how I felt, Emily in turn told me about falling pregnant when she was 15.
The brunette loved museums and invited me to go to one. I like natural history ones but the other ones, not so much. I had a great time because Emily explained the history to me. We did start spending more of our free time together. More often than not after our girls nights we'd end up at either my place or hers, which brings me to how I messed up.
A couple of weeks ago we'd had quite a bit to drink and we'd gone back to mine as it was closest. I don't remember what sparked off the conversation but we started talking about sex. And then Emily had told me that she was gay. To hide my shock I blurted out the first thing that entered my head and that was I'd only ever had one orgasm and that it had been from a girl.
We'd locked gazes at that, so many emotions flicked through those dark eyes. Then Emily raised an eyebrow with a chuckle.
For some reason her look made me feel naive. "Where am I going to meet anybody for a night of mind blowing sex?" I had groaned and rested my head in my hands, feeling all the booze I'd drunk that night.
"Is that what you want?"
My head had snapped up and I stared at my friend. "Are you serious?"
Emily had licked her lips and swallowed as she nodded. My eyes had followed the movement. "You can guarantee it?" I was squashing the very small voice in the back of my head saying this was one of my best friends.
Either she was bluffing or she was extremely confident in her abilities and I was never one to pass up a challenge.
Oh My God did she! I experienced my second, third and fourth orgasms at her hands or rather her tongue. Everyone one on the BAU team thought I was the one with the silver tongue but they were so wrong. It was Emily who could do amazing and magical things with her tongue. My pleasure addled brain even thought I'd heard her say 'I love you.'
The next morning we'd woken up naked in my bed and stared at each other until Emily rolled out of bed , grabbed her clothes and bolted to the bathroom. My head was still reeling, when she came out fully dressed instead of saying it was the best night of my entire life and that I'd never felt so connected to another human being before.
What I did say was that we were drunk. Emily had nodded and left. If she'd have said anything at all I would have I enjoyed it. My head might not think I was gay but my body sure as hell did. Looking back things made sense. Not being overly interested in guys, not enjoying sex with them.
Since then she'd been polite but distant.
I had hurt her and she wasn't letting me apologise. I'd tried. Now I was doing the only thing I could, I was giving her space. I just hoped she didn't file that night away in one of her boxes.
I sighed. While she was by the coffee machine it hurt too much to see her walk away. I needed coffee I hadn't been sleeping very well since the rift between us started.
Penelope had gotten the truth out of me , she didn't seem surprised. I guess her Gaydar was way better than mine.
I needed to talk to her, surprising my opportunity came after I was hit in the head with a shovel by a vampire wannabe. Luckily the rest of the team had figured it out and were only minutes behind me. It was the brunette who sat with me while the paramedic checked me out. The cure, painkillers and an ice pack. Thought he did suggest someone stay with me for the next 24hrs just to keep an eye on me. I know she was worried by me.
On the jet everyone was teasing me about having as hard a head as Prentiss and Emily about someone else being hit in the head for a change.
As the jet flew us home I sat curled up next to Emily for the first time in weeks. I must've dozed off because I woke up on my own sofa.
I sat up startled. "Emily!"
"I'm here." I turned and looked towards my kitchen door to find the brunette already dresses for bed in her Mickey Mouse PJ's.
I looked at my watch because it was getting dark outside and the jet was due to land at midday.
"You've been out for a couple of hours." As usual she knew exactly what I was thinking.
"Did I pass out? How did I get here?"
"No, you were exhausted before you got whacked in the head," replied Emily, I immediately looked down at my feet. Only Penelope knew about me not sleeping.
"Derek carried you to the SUV and I carried you here." I felt two of Emily' s fingers under my chin, tilting my head up forcing me to meet her eyes, "Why didn't you tell me?"
How could I tell her she was the reason? But she was a profiler she read it in my expression.
"Oh JJ I'm so sorry."
I was confused, "What for?"
"You were drunk and I shouldn't have…"
"Stop!" I suddenly knew what she had been thinking all this time, "You think you took advantage of me?"
Emily nodded. She had been feeling guilty?
"I started that."
"No! No buts." How could I set her mind at ease? "Em," I said softly, using that name got her attention. "That night was the first time I knew what making love felt like. "
The brunette went very still.
"You made me feel so much," I whispered reaching out to cup her cheek. I smiled as she leaned into it. "That night was perfect." I knew there was no going back to being just friends and I realised I wanted more than that. I prayed that she felt the same.
Emily bit her lip, "What happens now?"
"What do want?"
The intensity of her gaze as her eyes bored into mine answered that question more loudly than mere words ever could. My heart sped up like a jack hammer. Her lips gently brushed mine then she pulled away.
"What?" I whined. The brunette grinned.
"You are supposed to be taking it easy. We don't need to rush this. We have time."
I sighed in frustration this time. There was no way she was about to jeopardise my health. So I nodded and stood up, I held out my hand.
Emily glanced at my outstretched hand then into my eyes.
"I promise to good…. I just want you to hold me." I knew I would sleep like a baby in her arms."
"I can do that," grinned Emily, "And what I want?"
"Yeah?" I asked curious.
"I'll take a rain check."
Years later I remembered how we had got together as l lay in the safety of Emily's arms.
So much had happened but our love had stood the test of it all. Of me being assigned to the Pentagon because I managed to talk an unsub into letting his hostage go over national radio. I almost got myself blown up looking for a mole. While I was there Ian Doyle had gone after my lover and almost killed her, in fact until Doyle was caught it would be safer for her to stay dead. I had come so very close to losing her that I swore I would make every second we had together count. Derek found Doyle's son Declan and Doyle is very very dead. The team was shocked when Emily walked into the conference room, she wasn't the only one they were mad at they knew I had to have known. Things have settled down with the team Spence took the longest to forgive us but they're planning to go to some sci-fi convention next weekend with Penelope.
I moved slightly and felt her strong arms tighten around me. We hadn't spent a night apart since that day I had asked her to hold me, she had made me wait a few days but then she had made love to me and it was so slow and gentle that I was ready to explode many times over. I had no doubt that she loved me, she didn't say it but she showed it in every kiss, nip and lick as she worshipped my body.
By the end of the month I had moved into her condo.
On our six month anniversary I told her that I loved her. Her beaming smile had lit her up as she said it back. That was one of the happiest moments of my life.
I was looking forward to many more.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to get it out of my system so I can concentrate on my other stories. As always Have fun. Ps I still like reviews