399A/N: Sorry I've been gone so long, I had to take a long break from this website for my mental health. I'm back for now, I hope everyone enjoys this :)
Chapter 12
Mate! Heidi's beast was roaring with joy as the two's kiss continued. She loved her mate's aggression, her need, and wanted nothing more than to respond in turn. Her fingers dug into the breast she was still holding, just slightly, as she fought with the urge to rip the bra covering it off.
No. Not yet. In here, Heidi and Bella had all the time in the world. There was no one around to interrupt them. In fact, there were strict rules to leave the uninterrupted if Heidi knew Didyme as well as she thought. So she could do whatever she wanted to Bella, and Bella to her, at whatever pace they wanted.
Except go all the way. Heidi was still determined not to go through with sex until Bella admitted who her heart really belonged to. It was hard for Heidi to remind herself of this when Bella was willing and ready under her.
"Bella," Heidi purred against the human's lips. "Open for me."
Her human did as she asked and Heidi slipped her tongue inside. She needed to explore every dark corner of Bella's mouth, needed to drink in her moans and gasps, and that's exactly what she did. Neither knew how long their mouths moved together or how long their tongues clashed or their hands roamed. But it soon wasn't enough.
The whimper that escaped her mate when Heidi pulled away was so intoxicating that she almost started kissing Bella all over again. But she couldn't, not yet, not when she could go further. So Heidi pulled further away, pleased with how Bella clung to her with hands and legs, trying to pull her back. Bella showed so clearly that she wanted Heidi, to the point Heidi was almost drunk off of it. Her smirk was less controlled as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. She of course didn't bother with a bra, so Bella got to see every inch of her upper body without anything in the way.
"Holy shit," Bella whispered, likely not for Heidi's ears, but of course Heidi heard anyway. The vampire's smirk widened at how openly and hungrily Bella was drinking her in and she wanted to preen.
You say you would hate being my mate but you certainly don't hate my body, Heidi thought smugly. She couldn't wait to rub how much Bella felt for her in the human's face once they got further along.
"Now it's your turn." Heidi meant it was Bella's turn to take her shirt off but apparently Bella thought she meant something else as she sat up, her hands and mouth exploring Heidi's newly exposed body. The vampire was in no way able to stop her even if she wanted to as Bella started to kiss her way up Heidi's body.
"God…you're amazing," Bella breathed. She had completely forgot that they needed to talk, but who could blame her when she had a living Greek statue before her? One who breathed out a curse and tangled her fingers in Bella's hair when Bella skipped over Heidi's breasts to latch onto a patch of skin on Heidi's neck. She sucked and licked as if it was possible for Bella to mark the vampire, and Heidi didn't know if she wanted to let Bella continue or urge Bella to move her mouth to Heidi's breasts.
"You're much more amazing." Heidi's reply was enough to make Bella pull back and look at the vampire incredulously. "Trust me, sexy. I'll prove it to you; just let me get your shirt off."
Bella rolled her eyes and let Heidi pull Bella's shirt over her head, but Heidi didn't get to enjoy looking at Bella's body like Bella had with her. Not only did Bella have a bra on, but the moment her shirt was off she was plastered to Heidi once more, kissing her neck as her hands ran up her sides.
"Damn it, Bella," Heidi groaned in a mix of frustration and want.
"You had your chance," Bella retorted with a nip to Heidi's earlobe.
"The hell I di–" Heidi cut herself off with a hiss. Bella's hands had made it to her breasts with a possessive squeeze as her teeth sunk lightly into her neck, and Heidi felt like she would explode.
Whether Bella realized what she was doing or not, her actions were clear to Heidi's beast; her mate was trying to claim her.
Heidi grit her teeth against the need to claim, but it felt like a losing battle. In one last act of desperation she shoved Bella backwards and pinned her to the bed. Her chest was heaving with the strain of holding herself back, and it was more than enough to make Bella stare. Seeing how much Bella wanted her body was certainly not helping with her control and it meant she needed to act fast.
"Do you want me, Bella?" Heidi asked.
"Obviously," Bella's reply was immediate. She tried to reach for Heidi again only for the vampire to snatch up her wrists and pin them above her head. She couldn't move and was completely at Heidi's mercy, made worse by how Heidi ground into her lap, causing all kinds of friction.
Heidi didn't even realize she was doing it, that she was already losing the battle of control. "Do you need me?" she persisted.
A whimper escaped Bella despite herself, her hips bucking in desperation. "Yes!" she cried.
Almost there. She just had to get Bella to admit to one final thing and that would be enough. It had to be enough. If it wasn't, Heidi would lose it and possibly fuck everything up further. But she wanted to hold onto her own convictions, if only to insure Bella would end up as hers. "Do you love me?"
Bella was so thrown by the question and the vulnerability in Heidi's voice that her lust actually calmed. Not completely, not even close, but enough for her to think for a moment as she stared up into Heidi's eyes incredulously. A hard feat on its own, what with Heidi's perfect tits so close to her face.
"What?"
"Do you love me? Say it." It didn't sound like a plea but more of a demand. Heidi couldn't help it, her beast had taken over too much for her to manage anything other than aggression, sexual or otherwise.
"I…Heidi, I…" Bella licked her swollen lips and that was enough for Heidi to catch Heidi's attention. The black eyed woman dove in to catch Bella's tongue with her mouth, sucking on it for a moment before pressing her tongue into Bella's own mouth in a deep, sensual kiss. Bella melted into it despite her confusion, and it was Heidi who had to break it, leaving Bella's mind a spinning mess.
"Tell me. Tell me you love me," Heidi ordered against Bella's ear. Her hand reached down between Bella's legs, cupping her at the apex of her thighs and giving her a possessive squeeze. She could feel the girl's wetness and heat even with her pants still on and it drove Heidi wilder. It was a miracle that she could even speak with how much the beast inside of her was raging. "Do it and I'll fuck you like you deserve." She nipped at Bella's jaw to punctuate her statement.
"Heidi…I…" Bella could barely remember how to breathe, but everytime she did all she could smell was Heidi. Being surrounded by Heidi's scent only made it harder to think, harder to remember why she should say no. "I…I need to think."
"Don't think. Feel." That's all Bella had to do; she had to let herself go and feel like Heidi did. Let instinct take over. Then they could finally fuck and mark and claim and drown in pleasures that neither of them could dream of.
The ache between Bella's legs got stronger and the human almost sobbed in frustration. Was this what the female equivalent of blue balls felt like? If so, it was horrible. She could barely think at all and every touch from Heidi made Bella feel so much, too much, on her oversensitive skin.
"God, I need you to fuck me." Bella had never meant to let those words escape but she did, and she couldn't take them back. Not that she wanted to if it would get her closer to actually having sex, but it was quite the embarrassing admission.
"I will, Bella. I'll fuck you until you can't take anymore. Until you're so exhausted that you pass out in my arms." Heidi moved in to go about turning her words into a promise but stopped herself just in time. Her fingers dug into Bella's wrists when Bella's back arched, the girl struggling to get close to her. She took a deep breath to try to center herself, but it was so hard when that breath only made her able to taste Bella on her tongue. "I'll take you anyway you want whenever you want for the rest of eternity."
"Eternity is a long time to be sex friends," Bella murmured, too dazed by the images her mind conjured up to remember that she was supposed to want to leave Heidi eventually.
Heidi snarled at the idea of having nothing but sex connecting her to her mate, but Bella hardly noticed. "We won't be sex friends. Not if you say you love me."
It was like Heidi had thrown a bucket of ice water over her, and Bella was left sputtering and cold. That word, love, was jarring enough to snap Bella out of her fantasies and abate her need for release.
She had loved Edward, had told him as much and had been told she was loved in return. They had felt so strongly that she had believed in eternity with him, only for that to all be snatched away from her in one of the worst ways possible. Even knowing that Edward wasn't the one for her, the way it all happened, the way all that information had been unveiled to her, had left its mark on her heart.
Yet it seemed her heart hadn't learned her lesson as Bella was now going through the exact same thing with Heidi. The feelings were all there, even if a part of Bella had been unconsciously denying it. But regardless of what she felt, whether she actually did love Heidi or not, she refused to say it. If she did, she would only get slapped with reality all over again, and Bella had a feeling it would hurt so much worse.
Just like she hadn't belonged with Edward, she didn't belong with Heidi either. And maybe it was selfish of Bella to try to keep this weird relationship between them, but she didn't want it to end. Not yet. And saying that word would be more than enough to change whatever they had between them.
The last of her lust left her as she was faced with reality. Faced with everything Heidi made Bella feel and experience and how much she wished it could be her forever.
"I can't," she whispered at last.
Heidi's eyes, still black as night, widened in surprise as she leaned away from Bella. She was so surprised at the firmness in Bella's voice that she found herself recoiling away from her mate. "Why not?" Heidi demanded, just as frustrated as her beast at the answer. "All you have to do is say it! It's not that hard."
"I can't say it because I don't feel it." Bella hardened her heart as she met Heidi's eyes. She was sure whatever was left of her heart was dying as she said, "I don't love you, Heidi. I can't. And I never will."
That was all it took. Just those words, and something in Heidi broke.