Hi, this is my first Walking Dead fanfiction and I would just like you to know that there are SPOILERS in this fan fiction about things that happened in 6x9 No Way Out. Don't read unless you have seen the episode or don't mind having it spoiled.

I shouldn't have done it alone, but I did.

I wasn't supposed to get up from my bed, but I did.

Then again, this whole thing wasn't supposed to happen, the whole apocalypse, but it did. I guess losing my eye wasn't the end of the world. That had already happened.

It was only a couple of weeks ago that the super herd of walkers came through Alexandria and I was shot by Ron. I thought I finally had a friend in this crazy world, I guess I was just kidding myself, I should have told someone about what happened in the garage, but I thought it was just a mistake. He wanted me dead from the moment that stuff happened with his Pete and my Dad. I should have told someone that he was dangerous. I was stupid. I was really stupid.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror on the wall that I had been staring at for the past few days since I woke up, wondering what I would find if I looked into it. Dad had been at my side constantly while I was out according to Michonne, but I didn't have to take her word for it, he had brought Judith in to see me yesterday and every morning and evening he would come and see me. Judith was the only one who didn't look at me any differently. Glenn, Daryl, Maggie, Carol, Abraham, Sasha, Rosita, Eugene, everyone visited me, asking how I was, Carol bringing me cookies, Eugene coming in to talk to me about video games, Glenn talking to me about Edith, but there was an element of pity in the looks they gave me when they thought I wasn't looking. It was nice to have their attention, but all for the wrong reasons. I didn't want to be the one who needed protecting, I wanted to be the protector.

I got up, ignoring the headache, as I stood. I shuffled over to the mirror, I hesitated, but eventually I lifted up the bandage covering my eye, or what used to be my eye.

I stared and stared at the gaping hole in my skull. That wasn't me. All this time I talked to Michonne, I thought I was a monster, now I looked like a monster too. I had a whole chunk taken from my face, nothing to salvage, my right eye was completely gone.

I don't know what I did to alarm people, but Denise and Dad ran in and caught me before I hit the floor. I remember being carried back to my bed by my father and a warm embrace, suffocating, I was trapped, I had to get out of here I struggled against the strong arms that contained me, suddenly breaking free, I caught words, "panic attack" and "Hyperventilating" being tossed around, then darkness.

I woke up during the night, Dad lying next to me, asleep. His arms around me. I hoped for a moment that it was all a nightmare, but the bandage rubbing against my face brought me back to reality.

I shifted to get comfortable again, my dad's grip tightening around me, his eyes opening instantly. Instinct, I guess.

"You wanna talk?"

I nodded. "What happened?"

My dad continued to explain to me that I screamed, broke down and had a panic attack on sight of my appearance. I blacked out a minute later.

After I didn't say anything in reply he brought me into a hug, rubbing my back when I started to cry.

We stayed up all night, Dad talking and me listening. Telling me about everything that had happened to Alexandria, about what we were doing to do to fix it and how he was going to show me the new world.

When dawn came I realised that the new world had come. It had to better than the old world, right?