10A/N: I've been reading "Signed: From Your Not So Loyal Author" by the user "The Kazekage of Suna". It is a hilarious fanfic(which you should read) that acts as Gaara diar- er, I mean journal...
Anywho, the reason this story exists is due to Chapter 55, where the author issues a challenge:
"Make a short one shot labeled 'Signed From: ...'
Make a diary entry, and I'll choose one that makes me laugh! PM IF YOU POST OR LEAVE A REVIEW! It can be any Naruto character too!"
I'll take that challenge! (Even if it is late!) I know that this won't qualify, but it looked fun, so...
December 26
Sakura-chan told me to write in this; said it would "help organize my thoughts". Which is stupid 'cause I'm like crazy organized. But, I'm pretty sure there was a threat involved and I don't want to die, so BAM. Words.
... Uh...
Christmas! I'll tell you about Christmas!
Santa restocked my fridge and left me a note like usual. "You need to eat better yadda yadda..." He's one to talk. Every year I get a box of sweets to eat for Christmas morning and every year that guy eats them all.
ALL of them! I tried hiding the box, but he always finds it! I even tried switching containers and, this year, I hid each individual sweet. Didn't work.
As if that wasn't enough, there's crumbs everywhere(it looks like a food massacre!) and half of the new milk carton is gone! (Which I don't really care about that last part since he got it for me and all, but really? Is this like his holiday-cheer tax or something?!)
Aside from that, I also got these really cool gifts! Like, Hinata-chan knitted me this hat that looks like a bowl of ramen(but isn't) and Kaka-sensei gave me a book called something like "blahblahblah Eating Ramen blahblahblah". Can't really remember the title, but, if "Eating Ramen" is involved, it's gotta be good.
Although, I did get some bad presents. Iruka-sensei, he got me trash bags for Christmas. Which makes no sense. And Sasuke, the bastard, took me out for an all-you-can-eat lunch at Ichiraku's.
There was only one problem with that: when I finished eating, I turned around and he was gone! I had to pay for both of our meals!
I'm gonna make him pay for that... And not with money. (I'm gonna beat him up!)
After that, I went to a Christmas party with Sakura-chan and Sai! Everybody was there, even Kaka-sensei! (Who looked really suspicious when I thanked him for the book and gave him a frog stuffed-animal.) Shikamaru was the only one who wasn't at the party. Ino said he was in Suna with Temari. (Friends are important, but I figured that Christmas was a family holiday. Why would he go there?)
Anyway, Sasuke was at the party too, but I decided not to get revenge on Christmas. It's a time of love and forgiveness!
Also, Sakura-chan may or may not of threatened me when I tried to lunge at him...
Now, today, I went and visited Gaara so I could give him his present. (Usually it takes forever to get there, but one of the toads reverse-summoned me and BAM, I was there. Kankuro nearly had a heart attack, but I'm sure he'll be fine.)
It hadn't taken me long to figure out what Gaara would like - every good guy loves ramen! - and I even wrapped it up all nice. Er, sorta. I'm not too good at wrapping up presents. The trick is to make sure they can't see the gift, right?
Anyway, I couldn't wait to give it to him and rushed to find him! But, when I did find him, he acted all strange and wouldn't take it.
It was weird.
He was calling himself "Sanda", the gift giver of some Suna tradition that happens on Christmas. Gaara's eyes got all wide and sorta lit up when he was saying that. I figured he was just looking into the sun. I should've warned him not to. You can go blind staring into the sun. Especially the desert sun. Maybe he's used to it?
I just nodded along and offered him the gift again. Apparently, "Sanda" is not allowed to "take when he must give".
What a good guy. I'll make sure to visit him on his birthday to cheer him up! After all, it's gotta be depressing not getting presents on your birthday. Life as Sanda must be tough.
I told Sai, Sasuke, and Sakura about it when I was reverse-summoned back to Konoha.
Sai said Gaara probably thought it was ramen and didn't want to hurt my feelings. I didn't(and don't) really know what Sai meant by "thought it was ramen", but I assured him that he had to be wrong because Gaara definitely liked ramen.
The Bastard said said something similar. He told me that Gaara probably loathed ramen, knew I'd always give him ramen as a gift, and wanted a way out of the "Naruto Gift Cycle".
Sasuke's an idiot. Ramen is the best gift! He's just jealous that I didn't get him anything.
But I didn't actually tell him that I'd tried to give Gaara ramen... And what the Hell is the Naruto Gift Cycle? Sakura-chan and Shikamaru mentioned it once...
Sakura's suggestion was plain silly. She said it sounded like Gaara decided to steal Santa's job and rename the holiday. Which is just dumb! (Don't tell Sakura-chan I said that.) To do that you'd have to be crazy. Gaara isn't crazy.
At least, not anymore.
I think.
.
Signed ~ Uzumaki Naruto, your mildly concerned author.
(Believe it!)
A/N: Reviews are much loved, as is criticism!