Nuk nuk nuk.

Dipper rolled over in bed, hearing the sound of something knocking on wood. Probably just a woodpecker. He thought to himself. He closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to come once again. It had been a long day yesterday; finding out that his summer caregiver had a secret twin that was locked away for 30 years in another dimension AND that he was the author that Dipper was looking all summer.


The sound was there again, but louder. Dipper sat up in bed and groaned. It sounded like someone was knocking, but at this hour? Finding that sleep had fully left him, he could think of nothing else but to go see what all the racket was about. The young pre-teen trudged down the stairs and towards the front door. He groggily opened it, only to be snapped fully awake.

"Pacifica?!" he said in surprised. Standing at his door was the blonde he had helped rid a ghost of only two days ago.

"Shush! Don't say my name. They may hear you," Pacifica said.

"What are you doing here?" whispered Dipper. "And why are you covered in mud?"

"It's a long story," replied Pacifica. "Can I come inside? I can't risk them catching me in the open."

"Sure, sure," Dipper said, utterly befuddled. He allowed the unexpected guest into the shack and led her to a yellow chair in the living room. He turned on a light and gasped at Pacifica's battered figure. "Oh my gosh what happened to you?"

Tears started rolling down Pacifica's cheeks. "Dipper, I don't know who I am anymore."

"What do you mean?" he asked. He handed her a cup of hot chocolate that he quickly microwaved when he led Pacifica inside.

"Well, I found out that… I'm n-not exactly… well I don't think that I'm… w-well…" Pacifica didn't know how to break the news. A reassuring hand grasped her shoulder.

"You can tell me anything," Dipper said, looking into her eyes.

"Dipper. I… I-I'm… I'm a clone!" Pacifica expected Dipper to be most surprised. At least have his eyes widen a little. Instead, he just nodded thoughtfully

"I see," Dipper said.

"Wait, that's it?" Pacifica said angrily. "No horrified face? No gasp of surprise? Just an 'I see?!' What is wrong with you?!" Pacifica finally broke down, sobbing openly. Dipper sat down next to her in the chair and pulled her into his arms. She didn't fight it. She just cried onto his chest.

"Let's just say that both me and Mabel have had experience with clones."

"Dipper?" a voice said from the stairs. "What are you doing up? It's like, 3 in the morning."

Dipper looked up to see his twin sister, Mabel rubbing her eyes tiredly. Then she saw what was going on.

"Pacifica?!" she gasped in surprise. "Why are you here?"

Dipper gave her the lowdown while Pacifica cried on his shoulder. He had to admit, this was pretty awkward.

"Oh, Pacifica," Mabel said. "I'm so sorry." She sat on the chair arm on the other side of Pacifica and gave her a warm hug. Eventually, Pacifica's breathing slowed. Dipper looked down to find that she was asleep in his arms. Now it was really awkward.

"Mabel, what should we do?" Dipper asked as he turned to his twin. That's when he found that she, to, was asleep.

"Just another day," Dipper muttered to himself. He then laid back and closed his eyes.


Dipper was snapped fully awake as a gruff voice penetrated his ears. "Grunkle Stan! You're awake!" Dipper fumbled with his mouth. "Look, I can explain everything."

"Oh really?" Stan replied. "I explain you my entire heartfelt life story, and the first thing you do is invite strays in on the first day that my brother is here?!"

"Grunkle Stan, please," Mabel said. "Just let us explain,"

"No need. I think I see all that's going on here."

"SHE'S A CLONE!" Dipper yelled. Pacifica had awoken during all the yelling, and was now staring up at the old man.

Stan had a faint expression of shock on his face. "Whaddaya mean, 'clone'?"

Dipper put his hand on Pacifica's shoulders. "It's okay," he said. "You can tell us."

"W-well…" She started. "My parents hired a bunch of scientists the genetically engineer the perfect daughter."

This time, it was Mabel's turn to be shocked. "Just like Sev'ral Timez!"

"However, whenever something goes wrong, they… grow a new one," Pacifica said; fresh tears rolled down her face.

"The party," Dipper breathed.

"Yes," Pacifica replied. She was practically crying again. "They were about to kill me when the gravity got all weird. I managed to escape and run into the forest."

Stans stern expression softened. "All right then, I'll leave you three to it. I know what it's like to be thrown out of the family." Stan walked into the kitchen. "Cereal's on the shelf above the stove, and milk's in the fridge. Don't worry 'bout the curdles. It adds texture." He called behind him.

When he left, Pacifica had to ask: "Brother?"

"Ya know the gravity anomalies that helped you escape?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah," Pacifica replied.

"Well, that was all do to an inter-dimensional portal that Grunkle Stan's twin brother Stanford built 30 years ago and was trapped in until Stan reactivated it, and it messed with the gravity a bit," Dipper said.

"I'll pretend that I understand that," Pacifica said.

Suddenly, an old man that resembled Stan burst into the room. His hair was a little darker and his glasses were more round. He also looked as if he was in better shape than his brother. He wore a red turtleneck and a tan trenchcoat.

"A genetically modified homosapien?" he yelled. He grabbed Pacifica's arm and studied it. "Fascinating. I must do some tests. Come with me." The man pulled Pacifica out of the chair and towards the door. He was blocked by a very angry set of twins.

"Great Uncle Ford, what are you doing?" Mabel asked.

"I'm running tests on this fascinating new specimen," he replied.

"She found out that her life was a lie," Dipper added. "Can't you show some sympathy to someone whose life is crumbling around them?"

"But Dipper, this is a huge achievement in science!" Stanford said, clearly proud of himself.

"No, this is a friend in need," Mabel said. She took Pacifica from Ford's grasp and hugged her protectively. "What she needs is a hot shower, a home cooked meal, and love and support." Mabel led Pacifica away to the bathroom. Pacifica was too depressed to do anything.

After the left, Dipper glared at his new uncle.

"What?" Stanford asked. "No one has ever made it this far in genetic research. If anyone would understand, I thought it would be you."

Dipper's gaze hardened. "She's lost and vulnerable. How would you feel if you found out you were created in a beaker?"

"I would do a full body scan of myself to discover the secret of DNA engineering."

Dipper sighed. "I know that you've been in a magic portal for three decades, but how do you not hear the flaw in your logic?"

"I'll have you know, I have 12 PHDs. I managed to break the inter-dimensional barrier. I have an IQ of over-"

Nuk nuk nuk.

Dipper turned towards the door. "We'll have this conversation later," he said over his shoulder. He opened the door. Standing in front of him was none other that Preston Northwest himself.

"Hello there, boy," the rich man said. He stood next to two very muscular men dressed in black. "I'm looking for my daughter."