105Thankfully, it didn't take too long to track down Kolorado, considering the rather happy humming noise that she seemed to be making at the moment. The chamber they discovered her in looked more-or-less the same as all the others they had been in so far, but there was one notable difference. There seemed to be objects - non-rock or lava ones - embedded in the ground by the far wall.
"Ah! Good to see you all again, chaps!" she greeted, tipping her hat. "I know I said I'd stick close to you all, but I could not hold myself back. I think I may have discovered a breakthrough this time!"
"Oh, now this should be good…" Bow said as they gathered around the archeologist.
"After searching quite hard, I believe I may have found the first concrete evidence of the human civilization that once lived here! Take a look!" Kolorado carefully used a brush to skirt the dirt away and revealed what appeared to be a brown clay pail. "I hypothesize that this must have been a piece of pottery that they forged in a kiln made in the very fires of this very volcano! And here, take a look at this!"
She brushed some more and revealed what appeared to be fossilized bars of grain.
"These, I believe, are what the ancient civilization must have sustained themselves with! Basic grains and berries, packed tightly together and dried for long-term storage. An absolutely brilliant way to survive here! Though… the grain does not seem native. Perhaps there was a dryer climate all those years ago?" Kolorado curiously scratched her chin.
"Oh, wow! This really is quite the find!" Koopie picked up one of the bars and looked at it closely. "Huh… you know, this looks quite a lot like the granola bars I used to buy back home."
"Hmm…" Chompy grabbed another dusty bar and did what she did best - chomped it to pieces. "Bark, bark!"
"I think she might be right." Bombette picked up a bar and blew the dust off it. "These ARE just granola bars."
"What!? No, that's nonsense!" Kolorado said defensively. "Clearly this is just a case of… cultural convergence! Like how knives and mushroom stew were invented multiple times throughout history by completely different groups."
"Sorry, Koloclueless, but I'm going to have to side with my friends on this one," said Bow. "I'm very familiar with decrepit and old things, and these wouldn't even be worthy to make my basement creepier."
"Plus there's, you know… the wrappers over here." Nita picked up some silver foil that was lying near the clay pot Kolorado had found.
"W-well… if they didn't come from the humans who lived here, then where do you suppose they did come from!?" Kolorado declared, stomping her foot on the ground in frustration like a true academic.
"Uh… pardon me for interrupting, but what are you doing with our trash?" a voice said behind them.
"Gah!?" Kolorado spun around and saw a woman in a blue robe with large glasses standing at the exit of the cave, staring at them. She didn't have a shell, but it was clear from the distinctive scales that could be spotted on her skin that she was a Koopa like Kolorado and Koopie. "What in blazes!?"
"What? What I'd do?" asked the strange Koopa woman. "All I did was eat some granola bars… and throw some out."
"On the floor? Without using a trash can?" Asked Mario, perplexed.
"I had a trash can! I just… my aim isn't always the best." She adjusted her glasses.
"Hey, wait a sec; I remember you!" said Goommaria. "You're that Kamek fellow, aren't you? The one who attacked us near where Peach's Castle used to be!"
"That I am; I'm surprised it took you fools that long to recognize me, but intelligence never was your lot's strong suit," she said contemptuously. "Though, perhaps it was my lovely new embroidered robes that threw you off!" She spun around to show off her glimmering threads in the dim light of the cave. "I had it custom-made in the northern lands of-"
"Cut the crap, Koopa!" Bombette demanded. "We know you're here to guard the Star Spirit, and you're going to tell us where it is, or else!"
"It's… in the middle of the volcano, you dolt!" said Kamek. "You're already here, so you must know that already."
"Oh… right." Bombette blushed rubbed the back of her head. "Then, uh, hand over Star Spirit and no one gets hurt!"
"As nice as it would be to take another well-earned break, I don't think that I will." Kamek snapped her fingers and the passageway behind her disappeared, blocking the way forward. "After all, it's about time I swept up the garbage before it got any ideas about picking on my dear little Rain-Bow!"
"Aww, is that your little nickname for Bowsa? That's so adorable!" said Goomaria.
"Is someone like Bowsa okay with you calling her something so… cutesy?" Asked Mario, confused.
"Don't be silly. When the woman who raised you grants a term of endearment, you know there's no growing out of it!" Kamek chortled.
"Wait… you… she… you're Bowsa's mom!?" Mario started. "But… how…!?"
"Caretaker is more like it, but the time for pleasantries has long since passed." Kamek said, readying a stance.
"Agreed; shame that we're about to do something very unpleasant to you, though," Bombette said, cracking her fingers, her fuse already lit. "Let's end this!"
The blonde bombshell ran up to punch the glasses right off the Kooopa's face, only to find her fist pass right through her, leaving only mist in the air around her.
"Huh?" Bombette grunted as Kamek reappeared a few feet away.
"Yes, I admire that enthusiasm of yours, but you'll find that it won't be that easy. After all, with my spells…" She snapped her fingers, and suddenly there were 4 other Kameks standing beside her. "I am a one-woman army!"
"Wait, everyone! Don't panic!" Goommaria shouted as she jumped in front of the group. "These are just illusions, not actual clones! We still outnumber her greatly!"
"Yeah, she can't… keep this up… forever!" Bombette said as she kept punching, each one resulting in two more taking their places each time. "Dammit, hold still!"
"Hmm…" Mario gripped his super hammer in his hand. "Let me try something…" Mario lifted his hammer high into the air and then brought it down onto the ground, causing the whole cavern to shake and stalactites to fall down onto the Kamek illusions… as well as his friends.
"Mario! You gotta be more careful!" Goomaria said as she dodged falling rocks with her arms over her cap.
"Oh! Sorry!" Mario apologized nervously.
"I admire the effort, but you're going about it all wrong," said Bow. "If you want to hit the whole group, you have to hit them psychologically, not physically. Watch this." Bow disappeared for a few moment before reappearing as a ghastly giant face that took up over half the room. "Bleeegh!" she shouted, her long, giant tongue waving around in front of her.
"Ha!" one of the Kameks couldn't stop herself from cackling. "These are illusions, you fool! Do you really think that they're going to run awa- wait, where are you going!?"
To Kameck's surprise, the clones she had made had turned-tail and run away, disappearing through the walls.
"Cowardly illusions! You've got no substance!" Kameck turned back towards Mario and began to sweat. "Uh… good thing I'm just an illusion too, or else I'd be in real trouble!"
Chompy, not buying it, walked up to Kameck and confirmed that she, indeed, smelled real. "Grrrr…"
"Well, shoot. There goes the defensive plan." Kamek waved her wand and turned her robes ruby red, the power of flames now concentrating in her wand's jewel. "Time for the offensive one instead!"
Flicking her wand in every direction, she began to shoot fireballs at Mario and all his friends. Fortunately, the rocks that had fallen from the ceiling proved to be good cover, so almost everyone was able to dodge out of harm's way.
The one exception was Nita, who seemed to just stand there, as a bright ball of fire hurtled directly towards her masked face.
"What the? Nita, watch out!" Mario called out, a sentiment echoed a few moments later by Rachel.
Nita, despite her reflexes, still didn't dodge, however. But, instead of having her head blown off like everyone expected, she seemed perfectly fine.
… for about five seconds before the top of her hoodie lit on fire.
"Aaah! Get it off! Get it off!" Nita shouted as she began zipping around the room at lightning speed, looking for anything that might douse the flames.
"Mamma mia! Someone, get some wa-" Mario shouted, only to be cut off.
"No, no, wait! I think this might be intentional," said Goommaria, putting up her hand in front of him. "Shy Gals are pretty good at using their environment to their advantage. In this case, she might be using her own panic to motivate her to fight back! I think they call this technique… Camouflage Barrage!"
"Oh wow, really?" Mario paused for a moment. "... You just made that up, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but it sure sounded cool, huh?" she replied.
"What the-!? Hold still, you little…" Kamek kept shooting fireball after fireball, but she simply could not focus her aim with how fast the Gal was moving. Then, suddenly, she felt Nita run past her, shoulder-checking her and causing her to spin 360 degrees. "Whaaa! Hey, be more careful! Don't you know that you could seriously- oof!"
Nita's only response was to check her again from the opposite direction, making her spin -360 degrees.
"Knock it off, will you!?" Kamek raised her wand and fired sporadically, flames landing in all directions, Mario and his allies scrambling to avoid them. Unfortunately, the way Nita was running, all that accomplished was making her flame bigger, causing her to run faster and faster, hitting Kamek from all sides.
"I can't stoooopppp!" Nita cried, moving so fast that her afterimages carved a star formation into the air, with Kamek in its center.
This time, she ran head-long into the magikoopa, knocking her onto her back while she rammed into the wall just past her. This triggered a small avalanche of rubble which almost completely buried the poor girl from head to toe in rock.
"Well, at least that put out the fire," said Rachel. "But the fight sadly isn't over yet."
"Grr… that does it! Now you've made me mad!" Kamek stood up and turned her robes white for a moment, casting a spell on herself that caused aloe-vera leaves to swirl in the air around her, returning her robes to their initial blue coloration. "Ah, that feels better. Now, to get some backup!"
She fired another round of magic blasts at the group, only for the motes of power to bypass them completely. "Uh, you missed." Bombette pointed out.
"Did I?" Kamek asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yes. Yes you did," said Koopie.
"Did I?" Kamek asked as they collided with the wrappers from earlier… transforming them into women!
"Wait, there's cellophane Mono now?!" Mario asked, perplexed.
"No Mario, this is just how magikoopas' summoning magic works." Goommaria placated. "It requires sending magical energy towards a destructible object, then swapping that object with a person or other object that the magikoopa in question has tagged with their magic; take a closer look."
She pointed towards them, and Mario took better stock of their appearances. Similar to the Buzzy Beetle maids from the Dry Dry Ruins, the 5 of them were short women with shells on their backs, except they were red instead of blue, with a large spike jutting from the center. They sported martial artist gis with barbed knuckle dusters, and unlike the lackadaisical disposition of the former, these Mono wore disapproving glowers.
"Spike Top Suppression Squad #279, at your service!" The lead woman said as she saluted the blue-robed Koopa. "What appears to be the problem, Master Kamek?"
"Oh, the usual; Mario being a total pain in my neck" said Kamek. "You go take care of them while I go rest my joints."
"Right away, your magic-y-ness." The Spike Tops all bowed and then struck combat poses, a lust for battle gleaming in their eyes as they charged forward.
One got to Mario first, who had to dodge lightning-fast open-hand strikes to avoid getting hit. Mario tried his best to fight back with his hammer, but every time he tried to hit her, she'd turn around and just absorb the blow with her shell - and then attempt to stab him with it for good measure.
"Aw, shoot! Not Spike Tops!" Koopie gasped and retreated into her shell, at which point one of the beetle girls attempted to karate-chop her out of it. "They're always so rough… they make for the worst bullies!"
"Yes, Koopas are a notoriously bad match up against them, and vice-versa, due to their mutually high defense," said Kolorado, copying Koopy's strategy of just hiding in her shell. "Wh,y one time, a Spike Top tribe and a Koopa tribe had a war that lasted for 300 years without a single casualty, as they just kept hitting each others shells again and again until-"
"Pfft! This Mono's not as tough as they look!" scoffed Bombette. "All you gotta do is hit 'em hard enough that…"
Bombette wound up her arm, lit her fuse, and launched her fist into the closest Spike Top. The hit was blocked by the girl's shell, but that didn't cancel out the sheer momentum of the blow. Before the martial artist even knew what happened, she had flipped through the air and landed on her back - the spike that was meant to protect her embedded in the ground, effectively pinning her.
"... they flip out," she finished dramatically.
"H-hey, that's not fair! My spikes are supposed to be invincible!" The Spike Top complained. "Turning a strength into a weakness is supposed to be our thing!"
"You're not the only ones who know how to fight dirty. We're just better at it~" Bombette said, casually walking up to the woman before punching down directly into her gut. A moment later and she burst into a cloud of smoke, her body replaced by the granola wrapper that she had originally swapped with.
"No! They got Bridgette!" another Spike Top gasped. "Everyone, spin formation! Don't let them get a hit on you!"
The other beetle girls nodded and retreated into their shells, spinning themselves just like a Koopa would, bouncing around like pinballs.
"Hahaha! Behold, our ultimate martial arts technique; 10,000 Spike Spins!" one of the girls laughed. "You cannot resist our practiced perfection!"
"Okay, things just went from bad to worse!" Mario said as he desperately beat back every shell that got too close to him, each hammer strike unfortunately making them spin faster and faster. "I'd jump on them, but I don't want to risk my toes… Rachel! Do you have any ideas?"
"Hang on, I think I've got something." Rachel flew up above the chaos and carefully waited for the right moment to strike. Then when she saw an opportunity, she landed on top of one, gripped her talons into the shell, and lifted her up off the ground. "Yes it's working! It's working!" The raven declared triumphantly moments before the beetle resumed her spinning, transforming the woman from a bird into a flying helicopter. "Iiiiit's woooor-"
Back on the ground below, Mario was still trying to deal with the remaining three Spike Tops, but they were proving to be even harder to try and pin down. Every time it seemed like Mario was about to get close enough to kick one of the girls onto her back, she'd pop out of her shell, deliver a karate kick to his face or chest, and then hop back in.
"Now I'm starting to understand how Kamek felt," Mario groaned, his HP starting to feel a bit low. "We have to trip them up somehow… oh, I know! Bow; how good are you with chains?"
"I'm a ghost - handling chains is easier than breathing to me," said Bow. "Especially since I don't breathe."
"Well then, see what you can do with this!" he said, grabbing Chompy's tail and tossing it over to the Boo.
The green-haired girl looked at the chain for a moment before getting an evil grin on her face and disappearing. A moment later and the chain moved stealthily to the ground, to just about shin height, with Chompy patiently holding her rear-end still for Bow to do her magic. Finally, the Spike Tops both hit one end of the chain at the same time, tripping over it and sending them spiraling into a nearby wall, shaking the room so hard that the rubble covering Nita rolled off her.
"Hey, girls. What'd I miss?" asked Nita.
"Augh…" one of the Spike Tops groaned. "Alright, you win this round… but just you wait… for round two!" She raised up two angry fingers at Mario before she and her friend disappeared into a puff of smoke as well.
"Phew… at least they're out of the fight for now," Goommaria sighed, relieved.
"Mwehehe… fools!" Kamek suddenly shouted as she jumped out from the shadows. "Not only have you given me enough time to recuperate, but you forgot one beetle!"
She pointed up at the ceiling just in time for the last Spike Top to drop down toward Mario. It was close, but he just barely managed to dodge out of the way, thanks in no small part to Goommaria's quick thinking and tackling him to the side.
"Wow, that almost worked," Koopie said as she stood up from her hiding spot. "If you hadn't, you know… announced it."
"I'm an old-school villain. Back in my day, announcing your attacks was the best way to get 'street cred'. Or, as we called it back in the day, 'Avenue Loans'," Kamek replied. "And besides, she's not done yet. Watch this!"
Kamek snapped her fingers and turned her robes red again, although this time the shade was slightly darker. She then cast another spell and sent it hurtling towards Mario, but again he wasn't the real target. Instead, it was the beetle girl behind him, who the spell struck with perfect precision, and made her eyes glow bright red.
Suddenly, the Spike Top was back on her feet, her eyes glowing red, and she seemed to gain an extra few inches in height.
"Heh, so this is what the power of the stars feels like." The Spike Top clenched her fists and felt the power rushing through her muscles. "Gotta say, I like it!"
With an evil grin on her face, the beetle girl turned towards Koopie.
"Uh… just so you know, I didn't mean what I said earlier about not liking Spike Tops, okay?" Koopie backed up into a corner of the cave. "I didn't mean that at all. In fact, I think that spike of yours makes you look quite dashing."
"Heh, thank you!" The Spike Top picked Koopie up with her bare hands. Koopie, of course, squealed and retreated into the safety of her shell, but this time it wasn't going to save her. Gripping tightly, the beetle girl began to shake the Koopa like she was a maraca, causing pained grunts and clanging noises to emanate from within.
"Aaaaaa! Someone, help me!" Koopie cried out in distress. "She's messing up my spice rack! Re-alphabetizing them is going to take forever!"
"Oh dear! That's awful!" Kolorado cried. "Not to worry though, I have a foolproof plan specifically for situations like this. Panic!" Throwing her hands up into the air, the archeologist began to run around in circles. "Oh no no no no! Not the spices!"
"Ugh… Koopa Village Koopas, I swear…" Bombette rolled her eyes and walked over to Mario. "Well, I could try punching her again, but something tells me that just isn't going to work out. So, you got any bright ideas?"
"Hmm… I think I know just the thing." He said before jumping on top of Kolorado, causing her to retreat back into her shell.
"Uh, okay? Now what?" Bombette asked.
"Now pick me up by my legs, and rear me back like you're going to land a homerun." Mario said simply.
"Like this?" Bombette said as she did just that, Mario facing just behind her.
"Now, swing me!" Mario said before bringing out his hammer.
"I like the way you think." Bombette set off her fuse, then just as it was about to go off, she slammed Mario towards Kolorado's shell, his hammer slamming into it at such a speed that it launched into the air, hurtling right towards Koopie's shell, which dashed out of the Spike Top's hands and straight at her head at point-blank precision.
"W-woah!" she cried just before she hit the ground, disappearing in a puff of smoke, and both Koopie and Kolorado's shells dropped safely to the floor.
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall!... I've always wanted to say that." Bombette said proudly.
"Yeah…" Mario said, dazed and out of the loop as he recovered from the recoil. "You said it…" He slumped to the side, where Goommaria helpfully kept him steady.
"Wooooooah!" Goommaria said with sparkling stars in her eyes. "That was… a team attack! Aaah, I can't believe I actually got to witness one of those with my very own eyes! The attacks that you do with your brother are so legendary! Oh, wait, does this mean that you're starting to remember a bit more about your adventures with him?"
"Sort of." Mario stood up straight and knocked some volcano soot out of his ears. "It's still really vague. I remember some stuff about beans and… something about my brother having a boyfriend?"
"Ah! The rumors were true! This is the greatest moment of my life!" Goommaria shook with so much glee that her cap nearly shot off her head.
"Ahem!" Kamek said from the opposite end of the room. "You haven't forgotten about me, have you?"
"I mean… would it even matter if we did?" asked Bow, sitting on top of a fallen stalagmite. "You're old, so it's not like you're going anywhere in a hurry."
"Yeah, and you've got to be out of tricks by now," said Nita.
"Oh, I'm afraid that I have no tricks up my sleeve; only devastating power!" Kamek waved her wand and a circle of glowing geometric symbols appeared in front of her, the light so bright it threatened to blind everyone in the room. "Your simple minds have no idea what a fully realized mage is capable of! I'd been going easy on you before, but now, prepare yourselves for-"
Kamek was abruptly cut off as the last Spike Top was released from Rachel's talons and landed right on top of her head, knocking both of them to the ground, unconscious.
"-oooorking…" Rachel said as she slowly rotated back to the ground, landing on top of Kamek's back, the Spike Top poofing into a final wrapper. "... it worked… wait, hang on-"
Even after being knocked out, the magic from Kamek's wand reached a fever pitch, and blasted out towards Mario, the plumber barely reacting in time by blocking it with a miraculous swing of the hammer. Rather than deflecting the stray blast of magical power, however, the hammer glowed with an ethereal light, and within moments, underwent a dramatic change. The wooden handle became brass, with the solid gray metal head being replaced with a crimson hue beset by two gilded caps on either end.
"Woah… mamma mia! Now this is what I call a hammer!" Mario twirled it in his hand to help him get used to its new, enhanced weight. "Why with this, I bet even that 'invincible' Bowsa would get a bruise."
Deciding to test it out, Mario smashed a nearby rock, shattering the boulder to pieces easily and startling Kolorado back onto her feet with the sudden explosion.
"Ah! Goodness gracious… did I really help defeat that ruffian? And look at all this destruction!" Kolorado said as she finally stopped running around. "I am suddenly very happy there weren't any genuine artifacts here. They would have surely been destroyed in all this chaos, and I'm not sure I could forgive myself if I had smashed them."
"Yeah, you were sort of helpful. But not without Mario's harebrained scheme," Bow said as she helped Nita brush off the rest of the dirt and rocks that were covering her. "And you call yourself a famous adventurer? How did you even survive this long?"
"Why, with charm, wit, and most of all… very strong hired help," Kolorado answered.
"How lucky for you that we're doing this for free then," Bombette said before gathering up her strength and explosively punching a way through the cavern exit that Kamek had sealed.
"W-wait, hang on a second!" Koopie interjected. "We're not just going to leave her here, alone in a volcano, are we?"
"She has magic and can teleport," said Bow. "I think she'll be fine."
"Ouch… harsh, but true," said Goommaria. "Smell you later, Kamek! Try to teach your daughter some proper manners so she can accept her defeat with some grace!"
As the group exited the room, Kamek, slumped to the floor in a daze, deliriously mumbled out "You think… I haven't… tried that?…"
"Well, that was quite the pointless detour," said Bow, fanning herself for a few moments before handing it to Chompy to carry it in her mouth. "And it's getting so hot in here that absolutely nothing is helping with the heat! I swear, we have to be close to wherever the Star Spirit is being kept by now."
"Hey, hey, relax - it'll all work out," Rachel said as she flew alongside Bow. "Everything passes eventually, even this heat. Heck, even this volcano. Why once, in one of my visions, I saw this island far into the future, and it was nothing but a barren wasteland where even the lava had all grown cold."
"... that's supposed to make her feel better?" Mario whispered to Goommaria.
"Sssh! Watch!" Goommaria whispered back before pointing back towards their two flying comrades.
"Hmm, I suppose you are right - everything that's beautiful will one day be ugly, everything solid will become dust, and everything alive will one day perish alone." Bow smiled and laughed. "Thanks, Rachel. I needed that."
"...Boos, I swear…" Bombette said under her breath.
"Ah! Hold on a second, everyone! I think we're approaching the main magma chamber of the volcano!" Kolorado suddenly spoke up. "Watch your steps - you really, really don't want to have any unfortunate falls here."
"Speak for yourself," Nita said as they passed out of their current tunnel and into an area where the ceiling, walls, and floor was just a constant, churning lava flow. It was so bright that it was almost like staring into the sun, and they had to shield their eyes just to see what was in front of them.
"Oh my goodness! This is waaaaay too much!" Koopie gasped. "Really wish we had something to put all this out… or maybe someone with water powers…"
"Oh! Then you should totally choose to take Sushie with you then!" said Rachel. "Er, wait… that choice already happened didn't it?"
"Well, it seems like we're at the end of the line now," said Goommaria."Maybe those Mono goons have some sort of hidden passage somewhere? I wouldn't put it past Kamek."
"Wait, hang on a second - I think I see something." Mario's eyes gradually adjusted enough to see that there was something large and gray sitting before them, and it wasn't just a normal rock. "I think it's… a boat."
"Woah… it must be carved out of pure bedrock if it's able to sit here for so long without melting!" said Goommaria. "And the oars… they're sticking out of the lava, but they're ice cold!"
"Sweet! It looks like it might be our lucky - eep!" Bombette started to talk, but was cut off when an errant ember from the lava jumped onto the end of the Bob-Omb's ponytail and lit it, causing her to have an unplanned discharge that left her lying on the ground and moaning with her face caked in soot. "O-on second thought… are you sure… there aren't any secret passages we can use?"
"Sorry, but we just don't have the time to go back now," Mario replied, stepping in. "We're already pretty low on water as it is."
"It'll be okay," Koopie said softly as Chompy dragged Bombette by her ponytail into the boat. "I'll shield you with my shell, okay? Would that make you feel better?"
"Y-yeah, just a bit," Bombette sighed as Koopie laid her head onto the turtle girl's thighs. "Aaahh, comfy… if something exciting happens… don't bother trying to wake me up."
"Alright, everyone on board! We're about to shove off!" Rachel declared from the back of the boat, ushering everyone else onto the boat with her wings before landing on the bow. "Alright, hands, feet, feathers, and whatever other appendages you might have, keep inside the boat at all times!"
"And if you do happen to fall out, at least make your screams entertaining," said Bow.
"That won't be necessary; this can't be too hard to control, right?" Mario hesitantly stuck his paddle into the lava and pushed the boat forward. It slid across the top of the lava with surprisingly smoothness - less like a boat floating in water, and more like a hockey puck across ice, despite how ironic that metaphor was. "Woah! This is sort of weird, but things are going smoothly! Everyone, sit back and I'll take us to the tunnel on the other side of the lava flow, okay?"
"Ah, what a sight this is," Rachel said as she looked at all her friends on the boat. "There's just something about boat rides that just calms the mind, you know? Slows the time visions down a bit. In fact, it's almost a little bit romantic."
"Heh, maybe if you're Bowsa," said Goommaria. "Oh, that reminds me, do you remember that time a giant woman made of pure soda tried to marry you?"
"Uh… vaguely," Mario replied. "Something about belly aches and worms? It's all so confusing."
"Oh, right! Keep forgetting about that damn amnesia…" Goomaria swore under her breath.
"Have you ever considered trying to reverse it with another blow to the head," Bombette suggested. "I heard that works sometimes."
"Uh… pretty sure that only works in cartoo- oof!" Koopie was interrupted as the boat suddenly jolted.
"Huh? What was that?" asked Bow.
"I'm… not sure," said Mario. "I didn't see any rocks that we might have hit, and… it seems like it hit the back of the boat, not the front."
"Uh, I'm sure it was just a gas bubble," said Koopie. "You know, carbon dioxide or water or something being released from the earth."
"Grr… bark bark bark!" Chompy, her tail rattling loudly against the stone boat, put her front hands on the edge of the boat.
The whole group tensed for a moment, waiting for something to emerge from the lava and attack them… but strangely, nothing did. And as they approached the far end of this section of the cavern, even Chompy lowered her guard and sat back down.
"Huh… I could have sworn something was there…" Bow said curiously. "And I'm usually great at spotting hidden things… and telling when someone is spying on me."
"This is an ancient and desolate place - that's just the echoes of history you're feeling, my dear!" Kolorado said as their boat finally came to a stop. "Why, I remember this one time I was exploring an old castle, and I had thought that the suits of armor were watching me! Of course this led to a rather unfortunate incident that left me in quite a bit of debt for property damage, but that was neither here nor there…"
Kolorado continued her story as the others departed the boat, not really noticing that no one was paying much attention to her. Nor did she notice the small eye stalk poke out of the lava nearby and watch the group curiously as they entered the next chamber.
"... why one of them had a sword so big, it could have easily sliced my shell in two, or even three!" Kolorado continued. "Fortunately by that point I realized that all the clanging I was hearing was just pots being cleaned in the next room, but the experience was-"
"Shh!" Mario suddenly interrupted. "What was that?"
"The pot cleaning?" asked Kolorado. "Well, you see, the castle had a kitchen that-"
"No, not that," said Mario. "I think I heard something. Something that sounded like-"
Suddenly, there was a thud as something hit the ground behind them, the force of it so strong that they were all afraid for a moment that the cave was going to fall in on itself. Turning around slowly, the group at first thought a massive boulder had fallen and blocked the way back, but as their eyes adjusted to the sudden lack of light, they realized that… it was a woman. A very, very large woman with brownish-gray skin, long blonde hair tied back into a ponytail, and thick stone armor made of the exact same bedrock that their boat was made of. It was adorned with short spikes that, while not very pointy, could no doubt pierce just about anything if she swung her full weight at it. And right now that 2 ton weight of hers was looking directly at them.
"... something behind us."
"Oh no… not a Spiny Tromp!" Goommaria gasped. "It's a type of Thwomp; they're pretty close to invincible, and they crush everything in their path!"
Mario swallowed nervously and waved at the giant woman. "H-hey there! Nice to meet you. We were just, uh… leaving! You wouldn't happen to know the way out, would you?"
"Sure I do," the giant woman replied, pointing over her shoulder. "It's right behind me."
"G-great!" said Mario. "Any chance you'll let us pass?"
The Spiny Tromp smiled, leaned down, and placed both her forearms onto the ground in front of her. "No."
"Oh shit! She's getting ready to roll!" shouted Goommaria. "Everyone, run for your lives!"
The others didn't need to be told twice and took off down the path deeper into the mountain as fast as they could.
At the front of the pack was Chompy, who had taken a strategy similar to the round Tromp and was rolling down the tunnel like a giant ball, her thick black skin thankfully tanking all the damage the hard, rocky ground dealt to her. Koopie and Kolorado were both not too far behind, both hiding in their shells and praying that, if they slowed down, their shells were strong enough to avoid being crushed into paste.
After that was Bombette, whose long legs were held back less by her high heels, and more by her overly-bouncing breasts. Behind her was Bow, who was probably the most calm out of everyone and was just flying through the air at the Boo equivalent of a quick jog. Nita was right next to her, and she also appeared very nonplussed about the whole situation. Rachel was following closely behind those two, her mind split between paying attention to the path in front of them, and trying to figure out the seemingly divergent paths in the future that were suddenly running through her mind. Different memories on whether or not they made it seemed to conflict quite a bit.
Behind her was Mario, who was running as fast as he could go, but his hammer and his bag weighed him down quite significantly. But even he was doing leagues better than the person lagging behind the most, Goommaria, whose short legs could only carry her so fast. Despite her best efforts, the spiky Tromp behind her kept getting closer and closer… until, just as they were about to reach the exit at the bottom, she tripped.
"Ah!" She cried out in pain as her knees scraped against the rock floor and she slid to a sudden stop.
"Ehehe," the Tromp laughed to herself as she closed in. "Don't worry, little mushroom; not all of me is hard. Just most of me!"
"Oh no…" Terror in her eyes, she reached out in front of her and shouted at the top of her lungs "Mario!"
"Ah!" Mario, mere inches from safety, spun around and saw his companion laying there helpless on the ground. "Goommaria!"
Not hesitating at all, he leapt to the Goomba's aid and grabbed her hand, pulling her through the exit. But, as he was doing so, his bright red hat fell off and hit the ground, about to be crushed as well. Right as he thought he was about to lose his most precious and iconic piece of clothing, it was saved by Chompy's tail grabbing onto it and pulling it through the doorway.
"Bark, bark!" Chompy said proudly as she put the cap on Mario's head.
"Phew… thanks a lot!" Mario said, putting the hat on just before the Thowmp finally collided with the doorway and came to a complete stop.
"Shoot… I told them all that we should have widened this doorway!" she grumbled before trying, and failing to grab at Mario through the doorway. "You… get back here, you…!"
"Well, what little chance we had of turning back now has certainly been destroyed," said Nita. "Either we get out with the Star Spirit, or we're not getting out at all."
"That shouldn't be a problem - it's not like any of us were planning on failing anyway!" Mario said determinedly.
"I mean, I sorta was, but you do you," said Nita. "Anyways, I don't think we can get any deeper - if this place has a boss chamber, it's gotta be up ahead."
"Yes, I do concur," said Kolorado. "And it's likely to be the last hope of my expedition bearing any fruit at all."
"Uh, not that I want to ruin your mood or anything… oh, who am I kidding? Of course I do," Bow interjected. "But I'd give up on finding anything now before you get too disappointed. If there's anything left of the civilization you're looking for down here, it's probably coal by now."
"Nonsense! I wouldn't have found the ancient diamond mine of Solumary if I had put down my pickaxe one swing too early, now would I?" Kolorado countered as she ran to the front of the group. "Come now, everyone! Tally ho, to adventure!"
Bad End #1
"Mamma mia! Someone, get some wa-" Mario shouted, only to be cut off.
"No, no, wait! I think this might be intentional," said Goommaria, putting up her hand in front of him. "Shy Gals are pretty good at using their environment to their advantage. In this case, she might be using her own panic to motivate her to fight back! I think they call this technique… camouflage barrage!"
However, Goommaria was swiftly proven wrong as Nita ran not into Kamek like she had hoped, but instead straight into her and all her friends, knocking them all over one by one with powerful, but accidental, body slams, until she finally managed to put herself out by causing a rock slide that buried her in stone and dirt.
"Ooooh…" Gommmaria groaned. "Okay, uh… that may have just been… wishful thinking…"
"Eh? What the?" Kammek looked around and saw that she was, at the moment, the last person in the room standing. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say I just won. Wait a moment… I did! Heeheehee! Finally, I get to give Bowsa the gift she's wanted since she was young; Mario, on a silver platter!"
She waved her wand and summoned shackles onto Mario and the rest of his party's wrists. "Now, you all have fun in Bowsa's dungeon - I heard that she's been looking for some new toys ever since she broke the last ones I gave her. Eheheheheee!"
Another wave of her wand and they all disappeared, each replaced by different random objects like blocks, coins, fire flowers, even a 1-up mushroom. Most of them wound up in Bowsa's dungeon in her flying castle, like Kamek had promised, but Mario himself wound up someplace different. A bedroom, covered in space-themed wallpaper, models of various celestial objects hanging from the ceiling, and a telescope pointed out the window. It almost would have been cute - childish even - if it weren't also for the ancient tomes of spells lying open on desks, a rather menacing-looking cauldron in one corner, and sigils painted in chalk on the ground.
"Welcome, dearie, to my humble abode! I bet you didn't expect to wind up at Bowsa's Castle so early in your journey - before even getting the final Star Spirit," Kamek cackled as she locked the door - the only way out. "Oh, and I wouldn't bother trying to jump out the window unless you plan on losing what's left of your memories."
Mario gasped and got up, backing himself into a corner of the room. "Uh… are you sure there isn't any way we could talk about this? I mean, I know you've dedicated your whole life to being evil and nast,y but… have you ever tried being… good and nasty?"
"No, and I'm afraid I don't plan on starting anytime soon." She cast another spell at Mario, but instead of him being teleported away, it was just his clothes. "You, on the other hand, are about to find out just how 'nasty' I can be."
Laughing maniacally again, she cast another spell on herself, making her clothes disappear, and for multiple copies of her to appear to surround Mario from all sides.
"... Pfft! Is this supposed to scare me?" Mario laughed. "I already know that these things aren't sol- mmph!"
Mario was interrupted by one of the Koopa mages kissing him roughly, while the others began to run their soft, smooth hands across his body.
"That may be, but the senses can be fooled more easily than you think~" one of the Kameks teased. "And the same goes for my senses too. Normally I don't link my senses to my copies for obvious reasons, but I'm going to make sure I savor this~"
The Kamek who spoke got down onto her knees in front of Mario and took his tip into her mouth, gently circling her tongue around the tip at first before increasing her speed exponentially. The other copies joined in with their tongues as well, licking other sensitive parts of his body and driving him crazy. He tried to struggle a little to force them off, but for some reason, his own body didn't seem to be listening to him.
"Yes, yes… definitely a good virile specimen you are," the one who was kissing Mario complimented. "I don't plan on using you for any potions or spells like some lesser magikoopas might, though. You just get to be my toy - something for me to work out my stress on whenever Bowsa pushes me to my limits. Isn't that just grand?"
"N-no, it's terrible! L-let me go, or else I'll- mmph!" Mario was silenced as he was kissed once again, Kamek's tongue attacking his even more aggressively as the others began pulling him away from the corner and onto the mage's large bed.
"Oh, don't bother with any threats or pleading now, my dear; it's about as pointless as Prince Peach's at this point," one said as it took one of his hands and forced it to start massaging her soft breasts.
"No, actually - it's even more pointless than that!" said another as she sat on Mario's chest. "At least Peach always had you to try and save her! Who's going to save you, though? Your pathetic brother?" She began to move her hips back and forth, rubbing her labia over his chest and began to coat his chest with her arousal. "Aahaha! Now that would be a sight!"
"I… I don't want to be your toy though…" Mario grunted as he had free use of his mouth for a few more moments. "It can't end like this."
"End? Oh, this is absolutely not the end!" one of them said as she placed her muff directly into Mario's mouth. "In fact, you could consider this the start of a whole new adventure! One where you get to learn all the finer things of Koopa culture, and the benefits of being an evil minion." Waving her wand again, she cast a spell that made Mario start to eat her out. "It'll be a life full of chaos and turmoil, for sure, but it will be oh so fun! And, if you're a bad enough boy, it'll be rewarding too!"
"I'm sure you're wondering what reward I could offer you - don't bother trying to moan that through my copy's muff," another Kamek said as she straddled his hips. "There's going to be treasure, for sure, and plenty of nice food and clothes… but I think you'll find the most rewarding part will be the dozens of lovely little Koopalings we'll have together!"
With that, she raised herself up and lowered herself down onto his shaft, officially beginning her one-person gangbang. The more he found himself smothered by this woman though, the more he began to notice how the Kameks seemed to be linked to each other. Whenever he touched or thrust into or licked one, the others would each react in subtlely different ways, regardless of what he was doing. It appeared that she was telling the truth about being able to feel everything they felt, which gave Mario an idea.
Doing his best to focus his mind, Mario began to pleasure Kamek of his own free will. He thrust as hard as he could up into her squeezing snatch, aiming directly for the entrance of her womb and making sure his groin always hit her clit. At the same time, he dove his tongue deep into the one on top of him and began to actively finger and caress every pussy he could reach - even using his shins to help get the Koopa Kopies off.
"Ooooh! I-I see you like that idea!" Kamek moaned, taken a bit aback by Mario's efforts. "Well then, d-don't hold yourself back on my account! Indulge yourself in my magic until you… go w-wi… wi-aaah!"
Kamek's orgasm hit her much harder than she expected, causing her whole body to seize up and her mind to feel like it went blank. For a moment, she could have sworn that her heart stopped as her very being was overwhelmed.
She just kept sitting there on his body for a few moments as the orgasm subsided, and for a moment, Mario was worried that his plan wasn't going to work. But then, just as he hoped, all but the Kamek that was riding his dick suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke, and the one that remained slumped off his body and onto the ground, completely exhausted.
"I-it worked!" Relieved, Mario sprang to his feet and began to frantically look around the room. "She's got to keep a spare key to her bedroom door around here somewhere. That's, like, a rule about bad guys, right? Hiding keys all over your lair? Maybe if I find a puzzle to solve, I can- woah!"
Mario's search was abruptly interrupted by something wrapping around his ankle and lifting him up into the air. Before he knew it, he was staring back at Kamek, who was smiling smugly at him with her wand raised and glowing.
"What the hell!?" Mario gasped. "But… you just lost all your energy! How are you even standing right now?"
"Healing magic!" she replied, pointing to her cap - which was now white. "Works like a charm. Speaking of which, I should share some with you, to help make sure you can keep up with me."
She waved her wand and, to Mario's horror, he felt all his vitality and vigor return to his body - and his cock became hard once more.
"Gah!" Mario grunted again as Kamek tossed him onto her bed and began crawling onto his body, her recently-creampied pussy leaving a warm trail along his leg as she went. "You won't be able to keep me here forever, you know! One day, I'm going to find a way, or my friends will come and rescue me, or- mmph!"
She silenced Mario, at first with a kiss - and then with a spell, replacing his mouth with a big red X.
"Hmm, you're lucky that I usually like it when captives are defiant - perhaps that's where Bowsa got it from?" Kamek wondered idly to herself as she readied herself to impale herself on Mario's shaft again. "But I think you still need a good and thorough breaking-in before I let you keep whining. Give you a little taste of the punishment you'll get if you try escaping from me again."
She slipped his cock back into her moist cave and began to bounce up and down, her wand pointed directly at Mario's face like the deadly weapon that it was.
"You'll get nothing but humiliating failure after humiliating failure - until you finally learn your place," she said, her hips slapping loudly against Mario's hips now. "But if you do as I say, then I can even make things quite pleasant for you~"
Kamek's cap turned red and she pointed the wand down towards her lower abdomen. The wand glowed and Mario's cock was suddenly bathed in a pleasant warmth that seemed to double his sensitivity. Mario groaned and his cock twitched deep inside her in response, and it felt like another orgasm was already coming - but he remained defiant. He still struggled, and even tried to knock Kamek's wand out of her hand with his arms - though his only reward for that was to get his arms magically bound behind his back.
"Heeheeheehee! Yes, this is going to be a very fun relationship, my dear… for both of us~" Kamek cackled just before Mario flooded her womb once again. "Now then, time for round three; I want to make sure you're nice and presentable for when Bowsa finally sees you~"
From then on, Mario's life became a cycle of being fucked to exhaustion and then being brought back by Kamek's magic. He got to intimately know every single corner of Kamek's room as she really did use him like a toy whenever the mood struck - whether it be when she was coming up with new spells, or just trying to get away from Bowsa's demands. By the time Mario was finally brought out of her room, he wasn't completely broken, but he definitely knew better than to try and defy her openly anymore. Especially with all the eggs, which she lovingly referred to as the 'better Koopalings', he was going to have to take care of now on top of his regular 'duties'.
In the end, his many children would actually turn out to not be nearly as evil as their mother - and a few would actually team up with Mario in his later years for his much-delayed escape. Little Red, Green, Blue, and Purple would make him quite proud - and even their mother would admit that their backstabbing and magic skills were quite impressive.
Bowsa still had the Star Rod though, so they didn't really 'win', but it was better than before. And, Mario had to admit, it was worth it just to have someone use magic FOR him rather than ON him.
The End.
Bad End #2
"Aw, shoot! Not Spike Tops!" Koopie gasped and retreated into her shell, at which point one of the beetle girls attempted to karate-chop her out of it. "They're always so tough… they make the worst bullies!"
"Yes, Koopas are a notoriously bad match up against them, and vice-versa, due to their mutually high defense," said Kolorado, copying Koopie's strategy of just hiding in her shell.
"Well, that just means that they suffer from the same weakness too, right?" Mario asked, walking up to the group of very determined looking women. "All we have to do is flip them onto their backs, and they'll be harmless."
"Oh, you want to see our backs, do you?" one of the Spike Tops asked, smirking. "Well then, be our guest~"
In the blink of an eye, the five women had completely surrounded Mario with their backs pointed directly at him. This meant that all the very sharp spikes on their backs were all pointed directly at him, creating a ring of danger so close that Mario couldn't even move a step without potentially being skewered.
"Uh oh…" Mario hastily put up his hands. "Uh, actually, I think your faces are a lot prettier. Could I maybe see them instead?"
"Hmm, maybe later," their leader replied. "Somewhere more private… Kamek! Think you could open up an exit for us?"
"Of course, my dears." Kamek waved her wand and the exit she made reappeared in an instant. "You go have fun now; enjoy the paradise of the island while it still lasts!"
"Hey! You're not going anywhere!" Bombette shouted, rushing after the Spike Tops - only to stop as Mario suddenly cried out in pain.
"Youch!" Mario gasped as he felt a threatening spike poke his back. "I-I'll be fine, Bombette, really! You stay here and finish fighting Kamek, okay? I'll catch up later!"
"Mario… I'm not sure that's the best idea…" Goommaria said nervously.
"Do you have a better idea?" asked Bow.
"No - his fate's basically sealed at this point," said Rachel. "But he'll at least have more fun than we're about to."
"Mwehehe! That's correct, my ditzy prophet!" Kamek agreed as she waved her wand and sealed the exit behind the Spike Tops. "Now, to finish this fight on my terms~"
A few hours later, Mario had no idea how the fight back in the Volcano had went. Perhaps they had defeated Kamek and were right about to save the Star Spirit, or perhaps they were all being carted off to some dungeon somewhere. Either way, he had no way of telling. He wasn't anywhere near the volcano anymore, after all; he was on the beach with the Spike Tops, who had abandoned their uniforms and spiked shells for tight red bikinis.
On the far right of the group sat their leader, who had her long red hair tied into a long braided ponytail that rested comfortably behind the lounge chair she was resting on.
"You know, when Kamek promised us this grand vacation for completing our mission, I always just assumed she was full of cave fungus," the leader said between licks of her vanilla ice cream cone.
"Same," said the girl lounging next to her, her hair unbraided and drinking an iced tea. "She is an evil magician, after all - they're not exactly known for their trustworthiness."
"I think that she must believe that keeping Mario from finishing his quest is more evil than following through on a deal," said another with twintails as she played volleyball with a Spike Top with unrestrained hair, the cool surf of the ocean washing over hot sand beneath their feet.
"I-I'll say!" said the Spike Top Woman in the third lounge chair, her hair an absolute tangled mess as she thrust herself up and down on Mario's cock. Mario himself clearly wasn't happy with the situation, but with his arms and legs tied, there wasn't much he could do. "But we still… shouldn't trust her! I-if she tries to take our toy back, w-we'll have to show her the 'friendly' end of our spikes!"
"Amen to that!" said the woman next to her, raising her glass for a moment before taking another sip through a long and colorful straw. "We're not some Goombas they can just stomp all over, or Koopas that they can march endlessly in place. We've got standards!"
"That doesn't mean someone won't try," said one of the girls playing volleyball. "Maybe not Kamek, but someone will try to take him from us. We do have the second-most desired man in the world right now, after all. That means we can't relax entirely… and we can't get fat, either."
She hit the volleyball she was playing with towards the Spike Top eating ice cream, though she expertly knocked it to the side with her spare hand.
"I agree, but having a prize like this is pointless if we can't enjoy him properly," the ponytail Mono said before taking a long lick of her cone. "But I don't see why we can't do both."
"Interesting… I think we might be able to give that a shot," one of the standing Spike Top said before walking over to the one fucking Mario. "Let's put that to the test. Nail, see if you can defend yourself while you're fucking Mario."
"Me!? But… I don't have my spike, or even my shell on!" she complained between moans as she continued to thrust herself up and down on Mario's hard cock.
"Would you rather risk hurting him in the middle of giving you kids?" the other Spike Top asked. Nail remained silent. "That's what I thought. Now, see if you can block this!"
The Spike Top threw a few punches and Nail responded with shockingly skillful blocks and dodges. This, however, naturally shook her entire body, causing herself to grind her pussy hard into Mario's shaft as he continued to sit helplessly underneath her.
"W-wait, stop! Slow down!" Mario begged as an unbelievable amount of pleasure coursed through his dick. "I-I can't handle this!"
"Hey, better the Mono you know than the Mono you don't, right? This is necessary," said the attacking Spike Top.
"Y-yeah… t-totally… necessary~" said Nail, her arousal now drenching Mario's entire groin as her movements kept stimulating her clit - at first on accident, and then entirely on purpose. "Don't worry, you'll remain ours no matter wha- ah! Aaaaah!"
Despite her confident tone, the Spike Top's struggles stopped suddenly as she felt Mario orgasm and begin to flood her womb. The sudden warm sensation deep inside her, combined with the knowledge that the chances of her walking away from this unpregnant were slim to none, sent off her own orgasm, which was so powerful she couldn't help but seize up. Her back arched, and her mouth formed a perfect 'o' as she shook with each powerful shot of his sperm.
"Hmm… that will definitely be an issue going forward," the Spike Top who had been attacking her said as she observed her friend's seemingly endless bliss. "We can deal with that though; you don't have to fight off all attackers, just last until we come to help. Which means we just have to train Mario here to last longer."
"And that involves more stuff like this, right?" asked the girl with the iced tea.
"Of course," her friend replied, sitting back down to return to her ice cream. "I expect you all to do your part, too. I expect him to last at least twice as long when we leave the island in a few days, understand? We'll need to be ready for anything when we hit up the casinos north of the Dry Dry Desert."
"Woohoo!" The girl with the free hair cheered as she ran over to Mario, pushing her friend off of him and licking up the excess juices and sperm covering his shaft. "I promise to do my part!"
After that, the girls would go on a long vacation all over the world in all sorts of luxurious locations - from the desert, to bustling cities, to mountaintop ski resorts, and everything in between. And just like they expected, Mono everywhere kept trying to steal their prize.
Though, they were not exactly hiding him. They paraded him around like he was a golden Koopoa shell, bragging about how they captured him, and even going so far as to fuck him out in public; and since they were protected by Bowsa, no one dared try to stop them.
It surprised absolutely no one then when sexually frustrated Mono tried to get in on their plumber action, but their training did not go to waste, ensuring that no one could get their hands on their prize, no matter how often or how many were fucking him at the time. And so his life became half pumping these beautiful redheads full of his cum while they fought hand-to-hand (or hand-to-spike), and half being showered in extreme luxury in exotic locations as he was passed between the girls like a toy.
This continued until the Spike Tops finally achieved their goals of being knocked up, and they had to slow down their adventuring and fighting as their bodies grew heavy. Eventually they had to take a break for a few years, and when they returned, they had to start going to much more family-oriented vacation spots. But that was another story of what would become the strongest family of redheads in the world.
Gingergeddon.
The End.
Bad End #3
Behind her was Mario, who was running as fast as he could go, but his hammer and his bag weighed him down quite significantly. But even he was doing leagues better than the person lagging behind the most, Goommaria, whose short legs could only carry her so fast. Despite her best efforts, the Spiny Tromp behind her kept getting closer and closer… until, just as they were about to reach the exit at the bottom, she tripped.
"Ah!" She cried out in pain as her knees scraped against the rock floor and she slid to a sudden stop.
"Ehehe," the Tromp laughed to herself as she closed in. "Don't worry, little mushroom; not all of me is hard. Just most of me!"
"Oh no…" Terror in her eyes, she reached out in front of her and shouted at the top of her lungs "Mario!"
"Ah!" Mario, mere inches from safety, spun around and saw his companion laying there helpless on the ground. "Goommaria!"
Not hesitating at all, he leapt to the Goomba's aid and grabbed her hand, pulling her through the exit. But, as he was doing so, his bright red hat fell off and hit the ground, about to be crushed as well. He wasn't about to let this precious keepsake be minced, so he dove back after it - but it was clear after he put it back on that he wasn't going to make it back in time.
So, thinking as fast as he could, Mario grabbed his new and improved hammer, pulled it back, and swung as hard as he physically could… and to his surprise, the gambit worked! The hammer slammed into her hard armor and shattered it, sending her flying back up the slope of the cave and into a surprised and confused heap.
"Woah…" Mario looked down at his hammer and spun it around in his hand. "I guess this hammer really is UItra. Is everyone okay?"
"Y-yeah, I think so," said Goommaria. "I'm a little scuffed up, but no worse for wear."
"Me too," said Koopie. "Though, it was still a close one."
"Eh, could have been closer," said Nita. "Maybe if she was moving faster, it might have been a little bit challenging."
"You're definitely going to regret saying that," said Rachel. "Though I forget if it was sooner or later."
"I already regret everything, all the time," said the greenish Shy Gal. "... except eating cereal for dinner. That's always good."
"Well, how about when we get out of here, I'll buy you a box? My treat" Mario said, walking back towards his friends just before he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"W-wait! Hang on a second!" It was the Spiny Tromp, looking much less intimidating with her armor shattered and wearing mostly just her brown underwear that she had underneath. "I've never met anyone who could hit that hard before! Let alone someone who was able to… beat me."
Mario was afraid for a moment that she was going to try and carry him off, but instead she dropped to her knees and bowed before him.
"I've spent my whole career crushing others. Adventurers. Heroes. Queens. Body builders. Tourists. They've all fallen to my awesome body!" she explained. "Eventually it got so easy that the idea of someone being stronger than me was ridiculous. But now that I've seen it… it's… beautiful."
She looked up at him, the fury in her eyes now long since replaced by pleading desire.
"I realize now that you are the one for me… no man or woman or anyone else could ever come close! You could ravage my body, and you could take whatever I dish out in spades! And our children… why, they'd be unstoppable!" she declared. "So please, take me as yours and I promise that I will do whatever you want, fight any enemy, go anywhere that you-" She cut herself off early as she realized that her shoulders were currently preventing her from gonig through the passage and getting closer to Mario. "I mean… go anywhere… where the doorways have enough clearance. So, what do you say?"
"Mamma mia… I'm not so sure about that…" Mario said nervously. "Do you think she's trustworthy, girls?"
"I'd say so," said Rachel. "I'm already seeing a future where you two are happily married, though it probably won't be without its rocky patches."
"The first rule in life, and death, is that if someone offers themselves to be your personal servant, you accept and indenture them before they have a chance to change their mind," said Bow.
"I gotta admit, having someone else to do the heavy lifting would be pretty nice," said Bombette, giving Mario a thumbs-up. "I say go for it! If things go south, we can always try to pull you out of it."
"Yeah… assuming that there's still some part of me left to pull out." Mario took a deep breath and turned back towards the Tromp. "Alright, since Bowsa will probably fire you after this anyway, I'll take you up on this offer, but any funny business and we'll- oof!"
"Ooooh, thank you thank you thank you!" The Tromp pulled Mario towards her and inadvertently pressed his face directly between her massive breasts. In fact, she was so big that it wasn't just his face that was smothered - it was the entire upper half of his body. In that moment, his entire world became soft (yet, surprisingly firm) titfat in every direction. "You're not going to regret this, I swear!"
"Mmmmmph!" Mario tried to scream something, but his voice was too muffled by the Tromp's athletic body. Eventually, he took to struggling, and slammed one of his hands hard against one of the giant woman's nipples until she let out a loud moan and relented.
"Aaah… sorry… got a little carried away there…" the Tromp said nervously. "What were you trying to say?"
"I said… that while it's good to have you on the team, it would be nice to know your name," Mario said, panting.
"Oh! Right, guess I sorta forgot that part!" She put Mario down and bowed at him. "The name's Roulette, and it's good to have, uh… met you."
"Well, it's nice to 'meet' you as well, but I'm not sure you'll be much help to us if you can't even fit through the passageway here," said Bow.
"Hmm…" Roulette pressed herself hard against the stone passageway and, while it was a tight fit, she did manage to just squeeze through. "Ha! Turns out that armor was just slowing me down! And you know what? I bet I'm just as tough without it too!"
"Ahaha! Yes! That's the spirit!" Bombette laughed as everyone gathered around Roulette. "Then let's go kick some next boss butt!"
One boss fight later…
"Wow, uh… we did it…" Mario said, a bit flabbergasted as he stood atop the defeated boss's body alongside his friends.
"She took her out in a single punch!" Koopie swooned. "Now that's impressive."
"Eh, I could have done it if I had long enough to wind up my punch," said Bombette.
"Heh, thanks - it was nothing," Roulette said, a bit bashful. "But, now that my old boss has finally been beaten, we get to have fun, right? Maybe even give me a bit of a… reward, for doing the right thing?"
"Oh my… judging by how she's beating those big eyelashes at you, I think she's expecting more than just a 'good job'," said Rachel.
"Well, I guess I do sort of owe you… and there wouldn't be any harm in having a little fun, right?" said Mario. "So, when we get back to Yoshi Village I'm sure we can find a nice, secluded spot to- mmph!"
The Tromp woman didn't seem interested in wasting any time, and leaned down to give Mario a powerful kiss. Her mouth was naturally dominant, but not quite as overwhelming as he feared it might be - though the longer he kissed, the less steady his footing felt.
"Bark! Arf arf arf!" Chompy barked as she watched Mario fall backwards, and Roulette followed after him. "Awoooo!"
"I suppose it would be best to leave you youngsters alone here for some privacy," said Kolorado. "We'll take this rapscallion of a rascal into custody and let the Yoshis know that their island is safe. You can just take your time doing the old shell-polishing routine together in peace."
"Don't worry - I know the rough rocks of the volcano can be a little rough, but don't worry about it! I'll get you niiice and comfy." Roulette broke her kiss with Mario and quickly removed his clothes, leaving his naked body exposed to the hard obsidian ground as his friends all left the lava chamber. However, what discomfort he had was almost immediately pushed out of his mind as the Tromp removed her clothes and wrapped her boulder-like breasts around his hard cock.
Instantly the memory of his face facing a similar fate flooded this mind, but this time he was able to breathe and truly appreciate their beautiful sight and feel. Despite comparing them to boulders on instinct, they were much, much softer than that, feeling almost like dough as it pressed and squeezed around his length. The warmth was almost comparable to the inner folds of a lava bubble in the warmth of the volcano, and that feeling only intensified as they both grew more and more excited.
"Aaah… the hard hammer of a hero~" Roulette said as she teasingly moved her breasts from side to side. "I've heard a lot about this, you know. Most women who work for Bowsa have never seen it, but they hear from the Mono you do sleep with, and that has created something of a legend."
"W-well, I hope the real thing isn't a disappointment," Mario said, feeling just a bit inadequate when compared to a woman of her size.
"Aww, there's no reason to feel bad about yourself - I'll have you know that compared to most of the other guys I've been with, your dick is quite big! And fun to play with, too!" To show her point, she lifted her breasts up and down a few times, causing them to hit Mario's groin with a loud, meaty slap. Every single jostle of her chest caused his cock to throb between them, and coat her warm valley with more and more of his precum. "I could just sit here for hours rolling over you like this… and I bet you'd like that!"
"Y-yeah, but… we can't stay here all day," Mario grunted in response. "We're still in the boss's lair after all, and I can vaguely recall these places having a tendency to collapse in on themselves."
"Ha! True enough, but you're not going to last long enough for that to happen, are you? Your cock might be a big strong skyscraper, but it's still crumbling against my wrecking balls!" Roulette squeezed her breasts together and began moving faster and faster, adding some of her own warm drool to Mario's precum to increase the slickness around his shaft even more. "It's almost like they were made for you aren't they, my dear, rock-hard fiance?"
"Fiance!? W-who mentioned anything about us getting married!?" Mario gasped.
"No one, but I figured that it was only inevitable that it was going to happen at this point," she said, squeezing her nipples a little as she continued her titfuck. "I mean, at this point, can you even imagine being with any other girl? Could any of them squeeze you this hard, or make you drool this much with their body? Face it, dear; you're already hooked on me!"
"N-no, that's not true… you c-can't… ah, aaaaah!" Mario grunted and his body tensed as an orgasm suddenly shot through him. What seemed like a gallon of thick cum splattered out of his dick and onto Roulette's face and breasts. Roulette didn't flinch or look away though, even when some of it landed near her eyes. Instead, she just giggled and marveled as she watched it gather on her skin.
"Wow! Seems like at least part of you is honest~" Roulette teased as she wiped the cum away. "And you're still ready to go! That's some good fortitude!" She stood up, turned around, and leaned over, presenting her giant rear to Mario. In the red glow of the volcano, her cheeks almost looked like dying stars.
Mario thought for a moment about his own warning about the stability of this lava chamber, but ultimately that was left by the wayside as he approached behind the giant woman and lined his cock up with her asshole.
"Ooooh! Going straight there, are we?" Roulette laughed again and wiggled her ass at Mario. "Unexpected, but not unwelcome!"
"Well, normally I'd want a bit more lube, but… it's like you said before. You're tough, right?" He slapped her hard on the ass and made her whole rear shake. "You'd be able to take me no problem, right?"
"Ha! Of course! I barely even felt that slap!" she replied.
"Then let's see if you feel… this!" Gripping the base of his shaft tightly, Mario thrust his hips forward and made sure that his tip didn't miss its mark.
"Gyaaah!" The Tromp's body tensed as she felt Mario's rod pierce inside her, her asshole being much less elastic than either of them anticipated. The feeling of his cock pressing into her filled her with warmth, and she found herself moaning with excitement without even realizing it. That moaning only grew louder as the tip of Mario's cock pressed against her womb through the walls of her colon.
Mario wasn't doing much better, as the intense squeezing of her ass made it feel like she was going to squeeze his dick into a diamond with its pressure alone. Eventually she loosened up, but she felt like her body was pulling him in, and he could feel more precum leak from his tip with every pulse of Roulette's heart.
"F-fuck… just like your hammer… your dick is a real boulder breaker!" Roulette moaned as she gripped her jaw with one hand.
"Y-you good?" Mario grunted, holding himself still against the Tromp's ass cheeks.
"Of course! I said I could take it… and I meant it!" Roulette pulled forward a few inches and then slammed herself back. "Fuck me as hard as you can! I don't care if you somehow break me in half! I want to feel your balls hitting my cunt until I can't see straight!"
"F-fine! You asked for it!" Mario slapped the girl's ass cheeks again and did his best to plow her. But the longer he tried, the more he realized that, even in this position, Roulette outclassed him in every way. Every time he thrust into her, she thrust back twice as hard, and he wound up stepping backwards to avoid topping backwards. Soon, he ran out of space to back up, and she was pinning him against the walls of the volcano like he was a dildo stuck to the wall.
Mario grunted, his body barely able to handle the intensity her furious fucking, but he was determined to see this through to the end. That was, until he noticed some rocks falling from the ceiling, and the cave wall behind him starting to buckle.
"Uh oh. Hey, Roulette! Slow down!" Mario slapped the Tromp on the ass again, frantic, but she seemed to think it was just more play.
"Aaaah! You wish, my love! This ass isn't letting go… until it gets what it wants!" Roulette replied.
"N-no, I'm being serious! You're bringing the whole place down!" Mario said, his slaps growing harder.
"Yes, I am! I'm going to make this whole volcano blow! And you along with it!" she cooed, drooling now as her eyes rolled back partly in her head.
"It's not a metaphor! We're literally going to die soon if you don't slow down!" Mario shouted.
"Die of pleasure, you me-" Roulette was cut off as a large portion of the ceiling suddenly crashed down in front of her. "Oh. Well, why didn't you tell me you were being serious?"
"Sigh… it hardly matters now… I just hope Kolorado can make a good museum exhibit out of our bones," Mario said, resigned to his fate.
"No… I won't let it end here!" Roulette slammed her ass into Mario one more time to make sure he was completely hilted inside her warm, squeezing body. Then, she took his hands and had him grip onto her fit sides. "Hold on tight… things are about to get rocky!"
"What are you- whaaaah!" Mario barely had time to react before Roulette curled up into a ball and began rolling forward as fast as she could. What happened next was a disorienting blur, as Mario rolled along with her. Unable to concentrate on the room spinning around him, Mario closed his eyes and focused on the one thing that he could; Roulette's amazing body. Praying to her asshole like it was a god, he thrust and thrust and thrust until he explosively came inside her just as Roulette burst through a weak cave wall and out into the open, sunny air of the jungle.
"Phew… that was… intense!" Roulette said as she lay on the jungle understory, staring up at the sun as Mario's cum leaked out of her ass. "Can't wait… to do that again!"
"Intense, yes… but… maybe next time we have sex, we could be a bit more careful?" Mario suggested.
"Nonsense!" She grabbed Mario and pulled him into a tight hug against the side of her chest. "We can take whatever the world throws at us - I can feel it!"
Sure enough, she was right - she'd go on to help Mario defeat Bowsa, and then the X-Nauts, Count Blech, Queen Boo, the Dark Star, and just about everyone else that tried to threaten the world. And every single time they beat a bad guy, she wrung Mario's cock dry once again. They became known the world over as an unstoppable power couple… though only one of them ever threw any punches.
The End.
Bad End #4
Even after being knocked out, the magic from Kamek's wand reached a fever pitch, and blasted out towards Mario, who was unfortunately unable to block or deflect the shot. His friends all gasped as he disappeared, vanishing from the volcano entirely as he was replaced with… a manhole cover with the initials NYC printed on them.
"What the…" Furious tears filled up in Goommaria's eyes as she gripped Kamek by the robe. "Where did you send him!?"
"Hehehe… somewhere he'll never bother us again~" she replied.
...
"Mamma mia…" Mario grumbled as he suddenly found himself in the middle of New York traffic. "Where am I? And… why is that terrible smell, so… familiar?"
Sadly, despite all his friends looking as hard as the could, Mario was never seen again…
The End.
AN: Hey all, sorry for the wait, but the chapter's out now. Hooray! Now it's time to work on the next Under Tail chapter. Remember, if you haven't already, give XerriclaMerrick's "Love on the Brain" on Fimfiction a look. It's a really good story. See you next time, whenever that'll be.