Author's Note: This right here is probably the dumbest fanfic chapter I've ever written. But it was fun.
Also, I'm on vacation again! It's funny, I write more when I go on vacation.
Sorry I'm never writing, I'm trying! I actually feel a breakout happening soon, I promise! Seriously, my inspiration juices are flowing lately.
Also, I promise I'll finish my more serious stories. It's just that stupid fluff is quick, easy and fun.
I do have a fairly serious Haku/Neru story coming soon, called "Foibles". It will also be whimsical and like a fairy tale.
Oh, and Whimsica...? Well... I'm still working on it.
Sorry for all this, now please enjoy the silliness!
Neru was thrashing Luka's classy bathroom.
"Your bathroom is so girly." Neru said.
"Well, I am a lady." Luka said. "Aren't you one as well?"
Neru wasn't listening, she was digging through Luka's toiletries and knocking over a few things.
"Luka, what's this?" Neru held up a blue sparkly sphere. "It looks like a dragon egg."
"It's a bath bomb." Luka said. "Put it down."
"Why, is the bomb gonna explode?"
"You put it in the bathtub and it releases color into the tub."
"And then you drink it?"
"Well then, what's the point?" Neru asked.
"It provides comfort and enhances your bathing experience. Also it's good to moisturize dry skin. You might want to try it."
"What was that?!" Neru raised her voice. "My skin is not dry! I put lotion on only a week ago!"
Luka put her face in her palm.
"How about this. Since you're so curious, I'll give you one." She said. "Then will you stop messing up my toiletries?"
"Alright Toilet Queen. Thanks." Neru said.
"What are the consequences of what I've just done..." Luka thought.
"Hey Haku, what do you wanna do today?" Neru asked.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do today?" Haku said.
"I don't know. Maybe we should play with this weird ball that Luka gave me."
Neru took out the bath bomb.
"You're supposed to put it in the bathtub and it turns the water funky colors, but I don't take baths."
"Um, okay?" Haku said, somewhat disgusted.
"Yeah, I only take showers." Neru said.
"Oh. So that's what you meant." Haku said.
"Maybe we should feed it to your cat and turn her poop blue." Neru said.
"Neru, do you ever think of anything normal?" Haku asked.
"Wait, I have an even better idea!" Neru said. "Let's take it to the pool and play catch with it, and when it dissolves, the pool will be all colorful!"
"Ooh..." Haku thought of it.
"But since the pool is so big, wouldn't we need more of these?" Neru thought.
"They sell those at Bed, Bath, and Beyoncé." Haku said.
"Don't you mean 'Bed, Bath and Beyond'?" Neru said.
"No, what I really meant was..."
Haku took her shirt off.
"...Dinner, Bath, or Me?" Haku said seductively.
Neru hit Haku on the head.
"Now you're just getting weird." Neru said.
In the end, Neru and Haku just decided to steal them from Luka, and went to her house in the middle of the night undercover.
"Why am I wearing a tuna costume?" Haku asked.
"Because, Luka loves tuna. When she sees you, run away. She'll chase after you. Then I'll go in her bathroom and steal the bath bombs!"
"Are you sure that will work?" Haku asked.
"Trust me." Neru said. She began to hide.
Luka came out of her room to use the bathroom and saw Haku. Since she was half-asleep, her thought process wasn't clear.
"Is this... a dream?" Luka asked. "Or is that really a giant tuna?"
Luka's aura suddenly changed from a prim and proper lady to a ravenous animal. She began to run towards Haku with a bloodthirsty expression.
Haku took one look at Luka's face and dashed away. She never, ever saw Luka looking this hungry.
"I'M GOING TO DEVOUR YOU, LITTLE TUNA!" Luka roared. Drool dripped from her mouth, and were those fangs? Since when did Luka have fangs?
"Aaah!" Haku ran out the door and began circling Luka's yard.
"You can run, but you can't hide!" Luka growled.
Luka tackled Haku down like a football player and started chewing on her costume. Her teeth began to rip apart the fabric as she gnawed as if she were a lion that hadn't eaten in days.
"HELP ME!" Haku said.
Neru came out the door, her backpack filled with bath bombs. She saw Luka biting into Haku's costume and lured her away with a real tuna.
"Here, here!" Neru waved the tuna in the air until it caught Luka's attention. Then she threw it.
"Go get it, girl!" She said. Luka began to chase after the tuna on all fours, barking.
Neru and Haku rushed into their car, stepped on the gas, and drove away.
The next morning, Haku and Neru ran excitedly to the pool.
"What color do you want to put in first?" Neru asked.
"Purple!" Haku said.
Neru dropped the bomb into the pool. It began to fizzle and disperse, releasing color all around it.
Everyone began to stare.
After a while, the color dissolved throughout the pool and barely made the water any different.
"Hm, let's just dump them all in!" Neru said.
"How many did you get?" Haku asked.
"Fifty!" Neru said.
She took the big bag of the, and dumped them all in.
"I can't wait to see what kind of color all these will make!" Neru cheered.
But eventually, the pool turned black, with accented threads of glitter in it. Like the night sky, filled with stars.
"Holy carp, this is pitch black!" Neru said.
"It's like we're swimming in the Milky Way!" Haku said. "It's a little scary."
"Neru Akita!" Suddenly, a direct voice came from behind.
"Uh-oh." Neru turned around slowly.
"It's Luka!" Haku and Neru said, frightened.
"It's Luka, alright." She said. "I'm not happy one bit."
But luckily, Neru kept a spare tuna in her bag as well.
"We brought you tuna to make up for it." Neru sheepishly said.
Luka's face suddenly lit up and became an excited smile.
"We got her!" Haku cheered.
But, it didn't work. Luka slapped herself and her serious stern face returned.
"I'm not falling for that this time." She said.
"But I'll have smooth skin!" Neru said. "Aren't you happy for me!"
"Now your ass will be extra smooth when I kick it into outer space." Luka said.
"I can't believe you said ass." Neru said, laughing.
"Did you just say Neru's ass was smooth?" Haku said.
Luka's face began to turn fifty shades of red deeper.
"B-but I didn't... I meant that... as an insult... I didn't..." She started stammering.
Neru and Haku looked at each other, with wide surprised eyes.
"Luka, do you... like me?" Neru asked.
Author's Note: LOL this was bad. I felt like Haku was out-of-character.
But does Luka like Neru? DUN DUN DUUUNN.
But serious talk, I've actually taken a liking to Luka/Neru. It's dashingicecream's fault...
I like Haku/Luka too, and wouldn't mind shipping the three as a poly ship either!
Anyway, the "Dinner, Bath, or Me?" was a reference to like, some lewd doujin stuff. I don't know where it came from, but I can't help but think of it whenever I hear "Bed, Bath, and Beyond"!