Chapter 1: Prologue

A/N: So! This is my first ever TMNT Fanfic, I hold no bars when it comes to my fandoms(Especially when they involve our Fearless Leader XD ) At any rate, this is an AU world that ties HEAVILY on the Nick 2012 version of the show. As is, I love Leo/April and even though Apriltello is another one of my favorite couples but I've loved Leo/April ever since the 80's show and beyond so you see my love.

At any rate, in this fanfic it will get dark in the beginning. Just warning everyone since I've placed Leo in a very dark place.

If it's too OOC for you to handle then that's fine, but I am trying my best to emulate how he would feel in this version of the show if this happened to him. So I apologize if it does seem a bit OOC. But anyway, here is the real Summary that I could fit into.

Title: Begin Anew

Show: Ninja Turtles or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Couples: Leo/April – heavily centric ; Mikey/Renet – subtly hinted ; Raph/Mona Lisa – subtly hinted

Rating: T – almost M at certain points with how graphic I can get in terms of violence. For sexual scenes, ah…not too confident on my sex scenes. Especially between turtles and humans so don't expect any from me

Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst(at first)

Summary: All I remember is the sight of my father falling, blood trailing out like a waterfall as I can only stand there in utter shock. The utter satisfaction in her eyes made my skin crawl as all I can do is watch as she raised her blade to finish the job…eliminating me as well.

Au with Leo/April

Language: English

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or the very idea of it in general. Because if I did own it, I would've paired these two up a LONG time ago

Silence…

I can never get use to this deafening silence that lingers in the air…..It scares me…

Granted, I've lived in this silence for the past six months, I honestly should be use to this by now. But even I can't deny it. The familiar sounds of the cars zooming by up above my head, slowly comforting me throughout the 20 years of my life. Leaky pipes from the housing up above my head could still be heard, the symphony of pitter pattering slowly lullabying me to sleep on my worst nights were now gone.

Hearing my brother's shuffling around outside my room despite the fact that we were supposed to be in bed was now absent, making the heavy feeling in my stomach increase as loneliness slipped in. Everything I've come to associate with home was gone; gone and replaced with…silence.

Even though I say silence, I knew that it wasn't completely true. There were distinct sounds coming from beyond the thin walls of the small abandoned house that I resided in. The sound of crickets chirping in the night sky, the sound of the small creek that was towards the edge of the property could be heard.

It was as if this small little piece of silence was in its own little world, it was unreal even…..

My mind completely filled with an array of both silence and activity forced myself to slip back into the conscious mind, my eyes softly opening to reveal darkness. Blinking slowly to try and wake myself up despite barely getting any sleep at all, caused me to let out a soft chuckle of dry humor at the mere thought of getting any kind of decent amount of sleep in the slightest. My right hand, having been rested on my thighs softly found their way to the futon that I had laid out on the hard wood floor in a desperate attempt to gain some sleep.

Using my hand to brace myself, I slowly shift and push myself into a sitting position. My mind and body still groggy from the small amount of sleep that I had managed to get as a loud yawn left my lips. My right hand clutches onto the rough fabric of the thin sheet that covered the futon, biting my chapped lips to try and help.

As I shift towards the side of the futon, I can feel my legs and back cracking from the movement as I sigh a bit in relief. The stiff muscles slowly waking up despite the exhausted state they were in at the time, eagerly looking forward to the early morning exercises and stretches that would follow after morning meditation.

"Maybe I overdid it with the firewood." My voice comes out in a soft but croaky tone, not use to speaking out loud as I clear it with a cough or two. My mind completely occupied with clearing my throat that I don't recognize the sound of wind hitting the walls of my "bedroom" till a strong gust of wind hits. Cocking my head softly to the side, I could distinctly pick up on the sounds of pitter pattering of rain following soon afterwards.

"Another surprise storm." I mutter softly to myself, as if someone was going to respond to that being the only one in this small home. Not looking forward to being cooped up indoors, I sigh softly as I hang my head forward. My left hand subconsciously starting to rub my face, moving from my nose and working its way down in an attempt to wake myself up.

Mapping out every inch of my face, I could feel myself tense up as I already know where my hand is going too. My right hand already clutching the fabric on the futon as my stomach started knotting up at the inevitable reality that I was trying to come to grips with. The smooth green skin slowly became bumpy and coarse, as if it had come from someone else. My three fingered hand stroking and caressing the deep scars that were on my eyes.

My eyelids were open and I could feel my iris but, just like what happened six months ago; I couldn't see my hand. Staring blankly into the deep darkness as a pitiful sound of despair slips out, knowing that there wasn't anything I could do to change it. I had made my decision and I had to live with the consequences, the consequences of being forever alone and being the cause of the tragedy that had befallen my entire family.

"N-No….No I won't cry….I won't." my voice coming out in gasped breaths, as if it was taking everything in my power to not cry. I had not right to cry, to be pitied, to be shown any form of kindness in the slightest. My shoulders were betraying me, shaking and trembling with despair and anguish as images flashed through my subconscious.

Completely overtaking my senses as my hands twitched into tight balls of fists for a sec before relaxing as my desperate attempts to not cry failing slowly but surely. It isn't too long before I can't hold back anymore and the tears slip down my eyes, allowing them to flow freely as if a dam had broken.

Who am I kidding, it was like a dam. A dam full of anguish, guilt and utter loneliness at the fact that I wasn't able to see my family again, that going back to them would mean utter scorn and rejection thrown my way.

And I deserved it.

I deserved every bit of their hurt and rejection, all because of the mistakes that I've done six months ago. The scarring on my eyes were proof of it as I bent my head back, the words that I wanted to say to my family coming out before I had a chance to stifle them. My hands clutching onto the sheets and futon tightening with each word that slipped out as I sobbed.

"I-I'm…I'm sorry Raph…I'm sorry Donnie….and I'm sorry Mikey." I stuttered softly, the memories of my brothers flashing through my mind as the trembles and guilt welled up faster and faster. Completely overtaking my mind as my self-control crumbled before me, leaving me sobbing like a broken child that did something so horribly wrong.

Each time I apologized, my mind kept flashing back to watching my father being mercilessly killed in front of me. Being killed by the one person we both believed in, the one we put so time and effort into saving. Only to watch my father slowly dying in my arms, my heart shattering as I can barely process the blade coming towards me until it's too late. The blade cutting through my eyes as my vision was blurred by a thick waterfall of blood. The cries of pain came spiraling out of my lips, clutching my eyes as I tried desperately to push the pain away as I cradled my father's limp body.

The memories…still fresh in my mind as I sat there. Crying for what seemed like forever as hitching breaths leaving my lips as I bit my lips to try and calm down. All I can muster out is apologies, apologies that were never spoken out loud.

"I'm sorry…. Sensei. I'm so sorry." My breathing hitching in utter shame and disgust for myself slowly building up as I utter one last apology before falling back down on my futon. The mere thought of waking up to face another day of isolation falling on deaf doors as I curled up into a ball softly. "Karai…..please forgive me." I say in a soft whisper, burying my face into the worn pillow as I softly slipped in unconsciousness and into a restless slumber.

A/N: What have I done? I've done a horrible thing lol but yet, I don't feel ashamed. Because this is just the dark before the light!

Anyway, please read and review and I will update as soon as I can! Thank you very much!