It's twenty four hours later and her mind still keeps on annoying her with the repetition of his words. Well, by that logic, Charlie is going to end the world some day. His words echo in her mind. She can still feel the sharp hate and accusations in a kitchen that was too small for all of their bullshit. It's a Friday night and she is on her way to the local bar. while his words and the depth of his voice keeps her company. She is pissed he dragged her into all of it with rough mockery in his words and bitter blue steel in his eyes.
She is used to him being an asshole. Crude. Smug. Unpredictable. But after everything they went through, after the way they had fought together, for and with each other, after wordless conversations and all those months on the road with him, she had hoped she was more to him than just a pawn in a hate filled history between him, Miles and her mother.
And because of that, because she doesn't want to be something, anything or anybody to Monroe, she is pissed. At him. At herself.
She came back with him. After she found him in New Vegas. After she tried to kill him. After the war. And now he's here. She's here. She thinks about what an asshole he can be. To everyone. But she also knows how much more he can be. To her.
He isn't just the man she came back with. Not anymore. But her heart doesn't feel the need to define this. To shape it. To name it. There has never been time. There is no need to start now.
Frustration and anger and wishing she does not care are battling inside of her. Her angry steps have taken her from her apartment to the local bar.
After two drinks and ignoring some asshole she is definitely not interested in, she is about to order another drink and tell the full of himself asshole on her right to go to hell. But then she notices how Connor is trying to get into Sue Matthews pants with a wide grin on his face across the bar.
The bar is crowded. He is drunk.
She knows that Connor knows that Sue is seeing somebody else. He probably also knows that somebody will be here tonight. But she knows this is not about Sue. He is looking for another fight.
A sigh moves through her shoulders. She puts her glass back on the bar in front of her before she walks over to Connor.
The only reason why she is walking over to him is because she can look through all the ego and bragging. She knows that underneath all of that is so much more. She can see through his anger and macho behaviour.
His eyes hide it well, but she knows they are there. The bruises of parents who have never been there the way they should have. Of not understanding why the hell their world is what it is. Of never feeling enough or whole again.
She knows because she knows those bruises so well herself.
When she is standing next to him, she can smell the alcohol on his breath. She smiles to Sue. And then, she looks at Connor.
'Hey, why don't you buy me another drink?' She tries, distracting Connor with the possibility of even more whiskey.
Connor turns around. She can see deep irritation in his eyes. 'Why don't you leave me the hell alone?' he snaps, his voice is thick with alcohol and annoyance.
Before she can say anything, Bass' leather jacket is brushing against her shoulder.
'Hey, watch it,' Bass growls, warning him while he looks at Connor. '..don't talk to her like that.'
'I'm sorry, dad.' There is heated mocking anger hidden in his words. He moves his hands in the pockets of his jeans in a casual I don't give a shit way that enrages Bass even more.
Bass locks eyes with Connor and Charlie can hear him breathe next to her. His eyes are heavy with steel irritation.
Charlie is done with both Monroe men for tonight. 'I am going to get myself another drink..' She looks at Monroe, avoiding looking at him for too long when she nods to Connor. 'Good luck with him.'
She is on her way to the bar when his voice stops her.
'Hey, can we talk?' His voice is the kind of low she can feel inside her belly.
Maybe somebody else would miss the plea in his eyes. But she knows him and she can look straight through the indifference in his wide shoulders and the smug gesture of his hand on the hilt of his sword.
The fact that she notices that plea, makes her even more pissed. She remembers his words from yesterday. She almost takes one step closer to him, but she stops herself before her anger can pull her even closer to him.
'You tell me Monroe...do we have anything to talk about?' Charlie looks straight at him. She is standing close enough to Monroe to feel his breath on her face.
The muscles in his neck and jaws respond to her words and the blue fire up in his eyes when she uses his last name. She breathes. He breathes. And then she leaves him and everything that is burning in his eyes behind when she walks away from him.