11Hello all!
Here is the second installment of the "Tears and Blood Make a Peace Hard Won" series!
This part of the series is where we'll see Itachi adjusting to life as, well, Itachi.
So, fair warning, pronouns are a bit mixed up here. When things are from Itachi's POV, we're using "she/her" and when things are from everyone else's POV, we're using "he/him". I did not mix up the pronouns - this is totally on purpose.
That said, the switch might be a bit jarring, I'm giving you guys a heads up.
Let me know what you think!
Her name is Uchiha Itachi and she is the son of the Clan Head Uchiha Fugaku and his wife, Mikoto.
Except that she isn't.
She isn't a boy and her name isn't Uchiha Itachi and she doesn't want it to be. She watched and read that story and she wants nothing to do with this particular role, thank you very much.
But she doesn't get much say in the matter.
Everyone calls her Itachi, everyone calls her a boy, and as a toddler, she doesn't have the right words to correct them. And even if she did, what was she supposed to say?
She doesn't want anything to do with this clan, with this story, with this life.
She wants to go back.
Back to her family, her life.
At the very least, she wants to go back to being dead.
She doesn't remember much about it other than darkness and sleep and peace, but whatever it is, it has to better than whatever staying here will lead to.
She knows this story.
Knows the role Itachi plays in it.
And she knows with all her heart that it is not something she can pull off – nor is it something she wants to.
She's terrified of what this means and in her tiny body, that terror translates the same way her grief does: lots of tears and screaming. She misses her family, still sees that last horrible moment every time she closes her eyes, every time she stops long enough to think. And if she isn't thinking about them, she's think about Itachi's life. Her new life. A life she has somehow been given or taken. She doesn't know, but she doesn't want it.
As with many things in this new life of hers, she isn't given a choice.
Mikoto is worried.
Itachi is already one and he acts nothing like she expected a baby too. He alternates between listless silence and horrible, heart wrenching sobbing.
She's taken her son to see doctors and specialists and none of them can give her an answer. Physically, Itachi is perfectly fine. They can't find anything wrong. But Mikoto thinks of bright red eyes glazed with tears and knows better. There is something wrong with her son and she has no idea what.
He's only a year old and Mikoto knows that he's already seen too much.
What she doesn't know is how.
How her little boy could possibly know such horrors when he wasn't even an hour old. Fugaku had poured over the clan archives for some kind of clue but had come back with nothing. There was no recorded mention of an Uchiha being born with Sharingan already active, let alone the Mangekyō Sharingan.
And yet.
Mikoto had wanted to keep it quiet, but as Clan Head, Fugaku had a duty to report such things to the Elders. So, naturally, the entire clan knows. Her stomach twists uncomfortably at the whispers about her son, about how he is already the pride of the clan, about how he will be the best of them.
He's a baby.
A tiny, untrained, soft baby.
Not for the first time, Mikoto finds herself wondering at the clan's priorities. Yes, they are a prominent shinobi clan. Yes, that skews priorities slightly. But this is the first time she's experiencing it from the point of view of a mother.
She does not like it.
Itachi is in one of his calmer moods at the moment, lying on the floor and staring blankly at the ceiling. She sighs, jolting slightly when her son's head turns towards the sound. She watches as he blinks, face scrunching up and she braces herself for the latest round of screaming. Instead, Itachi rolls over and pushes himself up on hands and knees and crawls over to her. When he reaches her, he sits back on the ground and stares up at her for a long moment.
Mikoto doesn't dare breathe, doesn't dare do anything that will trigger her son's tears. He's only a year old and he's already cried far too much.
Then, to her infinite surprise, Itachi raises his arms in a gesture that – if her son were any other child – means he wants to be picked up.
Mikoto stares at him.
Her son has lived his first year of life shying away from human contact. He screams when he is picked up, squirming and thrashing until he is put down again.
Itachi frowns up at her when she doesn't move, waving his arms to emphasize what he wants.
Hesitantly, she picks him up, holding him close. Itachi nods to himself and pats her cheeks with tiny hands.
"Kaa," he says, calm and easy and…pleased?
Mikoto feels tears burn her eyes and Itachi's face scrunches up in confusion.
"Kaa?"
Mikoto makes a choked sound and pulls her son against her. To her endless relief, Itachi lets her, his tiny arms wrapping around her as best they can. He makes a questioning sound even as he presses closer.
"Everything is alright, Ita-chan," she says, a helpless smile pulling at her lips, "Kaa-chan is just so happy."
She feels Itachi nod against her and she wonders how much her son really understands. She doesn't know what's caused this, why Itachi has suddenly reached out, but she can only hope it lasts.
Uchiha Mikoto is not her mother.
She already has a mother and she doesn't want another one. And she doesn't think that is going to change any time soon. If ever.
But Uchiha Mikoto is Itachi's mother.
And as far as she knows, her son has shunned her his entire life, spending his time screaming at nothing or lying around listlessly.
She isn't being fair.
She still doesn't want anything to do with this life.
But she sees the frown that constantly pulls at Mikoto's mouth and the worry that shines in her dark eyes.
And she feels guilty.
Mikoto isn't the one who pulled her into this; she isn't responsible for what's happened. And yet she is punishing her. She's pulled away from every touch, from every comfort, from the moment she woke up here. She didn't want to be comforted, didn't want to be here, didn't want to deal with anything.
She still doesn't.
But she isn't the only one involved.
So she promises herself that she will unbend enough to let others in.
Mikoto and Fugaku are not her parents and will never be her parents, not really.
But they are Itachi's parents.
And she has been so busy grieving for things she knows she can't get back that she has denied them that.
No more.
Fugaku walks into the living room and freezes at the sight before him.
His wife and son are sitting on the floor playing with blocks. Mikoto is talking to him and interacting and Itachi is responding. They are building some kind of tower with the blocks and Itachi is smiling and participating and babbling nonsensical answers to his mother's cooed comments.
His breath hitches in his throat and his chest feels tight.
Then the block tower falls over and Itachi goes silent, blinking at the pile of toys. He can see the way Mikoto braces herself for the tears, for the screaming that has plagued this entire year and Fugaku finds himself holding his breath.
But then Itachi claps his hands together and laughs.
Mikoto stares at their son, eyes wet, and laughs along with him. She looks up and catches sight of him and smiles and he can see the relief, the hope in her expression and he feels his heart skip a beat. It's been so long since Mikoto has smiled.
Itachi notices Mikoto's look and turns towards him.
And then the most breathtaking, beautiful thing happens.
His son's face lights up at the sight of him, his tiny mouth pulling into a smile as he scrambles, crawling over to him as fast as his little limbs will allow. Then he sits at his feet and reaches up to him.
"Tou!" he says.
Fugaku goes slowly to his knees before his child and leans down so that they are eye level with each other.
"Hello, Itachi," he says, not caring that his voice is shaking or that his eyes are burning.
Itachi beams at him, tiny hands coming up to pat his cheeks.
"Tou," he says again, firmly, nodding to himself before he leans in and wraps his arms around Fugaku as much as he can.
Fugaku freezes, eyes flying over to Mikoto. His wife is watching them with a smile, tears streaming down her cheeks and she mimes a hug. Very, very carefully, he wraps his arms around his son and pulls him into his lap and tries not to weep in pure relief when Itachi goes willingly, leaning into his hold instead of breaking down screaming.
Instead, his son snuggles closer and pats his chest and completely relaxes into his arms with a content hum.
He's holding his son.
He's holding his son and his son is letting him.
Mikoto has moved to sit beside them and is watching them both with a smile that he has seen so little of this past year but hasn't left her face since he stepped into the room. Itachi stirs against him and reaches out to her.
"Kaa," he says.
Mikoto laughs lightly. "I should hug too?" she asks.
Itachi nods with all the seriousness that an infant can and Mikoto wraps her arms around them both. Fugaku leans into her and basks in the warmth of his family.
His son's voice, so quiet that he almost misses it, tears him from his thoughts.
"S'rry," he says.
He blinks and trades looks with Mikoto before they both glance down at their son.
"Itachi?" Mikoto asks softly, smoothing a hand over his dark hair.
Itachi reaches out and wipes at the tear tracks on his mother's cheek. "Sa' no," he says solemnly, "S'rry."
Fugaku and Mikoto stare at their son in shock.
"Sa' no," he says again when they don't reply.
Mikoto finds her voice first. "We aren't sad, sweetie," she says.
Itachi makes a noise of protest. "Sa' no," he repeats firmly.
"Okay, Itachi," Fugaku says, "We won't be sad."
Mikoto looks at him helplessly and Fugaku knows that the same thoughts are running through her head.
How can he tell? How can Itachi understand what is happening? Or are they just reading too much into it?
But he thinks of red, red eyes and wonders.
"You won't be sad either?" he asks, prodding, testing.
Itachi blinks at him in surprise before his face scrunches up in a pout.
"Ita-chan?" Mikoto asks when the boy stays silent.
Itachi looks at her and nods slowly and says very carefully, "Try."
Mikoto smiles at him and kisses his forehead. "That's all we ask, Ita-chan."
And for the first time since Itachi was born, Fugaku hopes.
Thoughts?
Until next time,
~Elri