We're sitting in Clyde's smoky, messy bedroom. I hate it in here, it smells bad and Clyde thinks it's acceptable to blast music until the walls shake. I hate that I allowed for Clyde to convince me to come over here.

It's only the six of us in his bedroom, there's a fucking pizza box on the floor. I want to die. Working with Clyde at Harbucks isn't terrible, he talks at me and I nod.

He apparently has sex with Bebe Stevens, star cheerleader, number one pariah when the time is right to hate women at Park High. The North Park kids fucking hate us, most people hate me, nothing new.

She's in here, she goes from hanging on Clyde, who by the way needs to shave his face, perhaps shower? I don't know. To consoling Wendy Testaburger, number one in our class.

Everything jumbles once the heavy rock music fills the room, house, all of fucking South Park. I would bet money that I could hear this shitty music from my house. I'd lose money, probably, but I'm willing.

I eavesdrop even though, one, I was invited, two, I'm sitting on the floor while the girls sit on the bed. I feel rude about hearing that Stan Marsh broke up with Wendy again. Especially from a sobbing Wendy.

Clyde passes his bong to Jason and mumbles out "You'll be fine, Wendy, don't worry about it. I'll talk to Stan at football practice." I guess that's nice. Jason takes a hit, then coughs, and hands the bong to me.

I honestly don't know what to do with it. Craig Tucker is sitting next to me, and like me he hasn't said a word this whole time. He seems weird, but he gets hoisted into the upper echelon since he's friends with the 'star' running back. I sheepishly hand Craig the bong, I don't even own a lighter, and this is making me anxious.

"What's up with him and where's Token?" Jason pointedly asks, he needs to shave too, what's up with straight boys? I presume they're straight, I don't know, that was shitty of me.

I don't say anything.

Craig doesn't either, and lights up. He's clean-shaven, he knows what's up. I'm glad I still don't grow any facial hair despite being seventeen and definitely hit puberty by now.

Bebe says "To leave Tweek, alone." I'm impressed that she remembers my name. I raise a hand in thanks. She doesn't acknowledge it.

Clyde explains that Token is too busy fucking Red right now, I notice that Wendy and I make the same disgusted face. I wonder if it's because she's jealous too.

The song changes to something less loud, this is also a song. I regret saying yes to this. I might have work tomorrow and this is fucking up my routine. My Sims family needs to be played, god damn it.

Wendy is still crying, a little less than before. Bebe suggests off hand that we go bowling.

Clyde bellows, "Fuck yeah!"

That sounds terrible, I don't protest.

We have to take two cars, Clyde takes Jason and Craig in his hand-me-down car, while I get stuck with Bebe and Wendy.

Bebe has a Porsche her dad bought her apparently, and I, a loser get to ride in it.

I guess I should feel emasculated for being regulated to ride with the girls. I really don't care.

"So what's up Tweek?" Wendy directs her attention to me, her trying to perk herself up to go out in public makes my stomach hurt.

"I'm fine!" I say too quickly as I buckle myself into the backseat. I should probably ask Wendy if she's okay. I don't, but I think about it. That's what counts.

Bebe starts driving and she's more focused than I think she would be. I hate cars almost as much as I hate that Clyde told me to hang with his friends. 'I seem cool,' yeah sure. Why did I listen?

Thankfully, Bebe plays the radio so we don't have to talk to each other. It's less abrasive and she has the volume at a not deafening level.

"Come on, Wendy let's just chill, you could have smoked earlier, you know it calms you down." Bebe spins the steering wheel to turn us on to a street I've never been on.

Wendy digs in her purse, the sounds of her makeup and change mixing make me feel less tense, but my hair's a mess and I notice it.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Jesus, what the hell? I fish my hand around until I can answer whoever is calling me. No one ever calls.

"Hello?" I mumble into my cheap cell phone, I didn't check the caller ID. Bebe takes an interest despite her driving a steel death trap.

"Honey it's me, how come you didn't come back from your shift at Harbucks? You told me this morning that you were 'pissed and tired.' you were just gonna come right back home. You know how I worry about you when you don't come back." My mother's soft voice poured out of the speaker into my ear. Bebe and Wendy stop talking, I guess I was right that they were nosy fuckers.

I stutter as I speak, "H-hey Mom, I'm just out with friends. I kinda lied?"

She pauses, I know she's surprised that I have any friends. She laughs a bit, my mother always laughs, when she laughs though, I can tell she's laughing with me. "Well okay, dear, just let me know if you need a ride home. I love you, be safe!" and she ends the call before I can even say a word.

"That was cute, my mom never calls me, like ever." Bebe snickers to herself.

Wendy didn't add anything as we drove in silence to the bowling alley. I'm a little embarrassed, but I don't think I'm gonna die.

I hadn't bowled since we were kids and when everyone would get invited to a bowling birthday party. This is a nostalgia trip at best.

I'm still impressed that I'm here with them.

"Hey Wendy, can you pull out my perfume from the glove box? We smell like shit." Wendy willingly opens the small compartment and sprays the most pungent perfume. I'm totally convinced that Wendy just spritzed rat poison everywhere.

"I found some old gum, do you guys want any?" Wendy offers us, I politely decline, Sounds sketchy.

I recoil once we park outside of the North Park Lanes, I didn't realize how far Bebe had driven us.

The boys jump out of Clyde's dirty car. They all look over at us and call us over like we didn't just pull into our spot.

"We're coming!" Bebe shouts at them as she steps out of her car, I'm honestly annoyed by all of this, my phones vibrates, this time it's a text.

(From Thomas) Where are you at? Kevin and Bradley want to know if you want to start a new Dungeon & Dragons campaign soon.

Thomas Corgan, the boy who everyone shouts 'cock' at when he walks by. I guess to tease him about his Tourette's. It's really fucked up. I try walking and texting him back, the girls seem a bit perplexed that I lag behind.

(To Thomas) You remember when Clyde asked me to hang out? Well I'm doing that right now. SOS.

The group of us eventually enter the establishment and walk up to the counter to claim our lane. "Shoe sizes?" The North Park teenager barks at us. I get nervous and have to remind myself to say "Nine, please."

Clyde looks down at my feet, "You do have small feet, holy shit." This gets a laugh out of Jason. Clyde makes a great observation, I don't respond. I notice Craig walk off over to the bowling balls.

The rest of us crowd over to lane number seven, Clyde takes over the machine to type in our names, Bebe and Wendy whisper and giggle to themselves. Clyde types in 'Pussy Destroyer' for himself, and 'Captain Cock' for Jason. "Hey ladies, what do you want your names be?"

"Queen Bebe, bow down, bitch."

Wendy laughs. "Wendy's fine. We should probably grab some bowling balls, you know."

"I think Craig said that he was going to grab two." Jason spins in his swiveling chair. I hesitantly sit down as my phone buzzes in my pocket again.

(From Thomas) That fucking blows, when it's over come over Bradley's, we're all over here watching Star Trek again.

Watching William Shatner bang some alien chick for the thousandth time would probably calm me down. Craig has returned with two fourteen pound balls. While thankfully the girls reappeared with lighter ones.

"Hey Tweek, how do you spell your name?" Clyde asks as he had already typed in Craig's name as 'Gay Boy'.

"With two es," I state as I'm still looking down at my phone as a security blanket.

I look up to see that Clyde had actually typed 'With 2 es' on the board.

I sigh and notice that we're playing without bumpers. Well this is going to suck.

"Are you guys hungry?" Clyde stretches before we start the game.

"I'll go get cheese fries, babe don't worry about it." Bebe quickly bats her eyes.

My phone buzzes.

(From Thomas) I'm getting cock blocked by Bradley right now. This is bullshit. Why won't Kevin notice me?

The loud crash of pins being smacked down begins to bother me.

"You suck Clyde." Jason taunts, I think Clyde only hit five pins? That's pretty good, that's half. Ugh I don't want to bowl and embarrass myself right now.

(To Thomas) I don't know man, just tell him you like him?

That's probably good advice, I wouldn't follow it, but maybe Thomas will calm his boner if he does.

Wendy picks up a spare, she seems to be enjoying herself.

It's Craig's turn then fuck. Craig effortlessly knocks down all the pins.

"See, being on the bowling team has some benefits!" Clyde laughs.

"Yeah Clyde, like being good at bowling." He flips him off.

Interesting, I saunter up next, even the ten pound ball feels heavy in my hands. I hope I don't step over the line and slip. I wind up my arm and immediately throw the ball into the gutter.

My phone shakes in my pocket, god damn it, Thomas.

"You can do it Tweek! Just roll the ball down!" Bebe yells to me, like that's not obvious.

Her encouragement helps slightly as I manage to actually hit something.

(From Thomas) I've tried that before, I just get nervous and start screaming fuck and cock.

I sigh.

(To Thomas) Then just write it down?

I walked back looking at my phone earning some odd glances, but no comments. The game progressed and Craig dominated the game. He made us look like dipshits. Why even play if he can get five strikes in eight frames?

Thomas stopped texting me, so either he told Kevin about wanting to fuck him and died, or he just pussied out.

The game ended with my arm sore, Craig hit two hundred while the rest of us couldn't get out of double digits.

"Want to fuck around in the arcade?" Bebe suggests, everyone wholeheartedly agrees.

We split off into two groups, as in everyone runs off and I get stuck with Craig Tucker. When we were little we used to fight over petty things. He has a mean right hook. He's still a few inches taller than I am. "I'll get us some tokens." Craig insists, I really don't want him to spend money on me.

Another text alerts my phone.

(From Thomas) Dude, it's been like two hours, where are you?

As I struggle to respond to Thomas, Craig has a fist full of coins in his hand. "Here."

"Oh thanks," It's only about a few plays on things. Craig and I gravitate towards a driving game. I don't know if he knew that the games with guns made me upset or if it was luck.

"Man, if I could actually go one hundred miles an hour on the road, that'd be cool." Craig mumbles out. I hear him, but let the terrifying thought pass.

Craig and I quickly start playing, I'm crashing my virtual car through virtual Paris. This is the life. I feel a finger tap my shoulder. I jump and veer the wheel to the right. Shit.

"Hey sorry, Wendy and I are going to the mall. You'll be cool with Clyde taking you home?" Bebe asks like I'll say no.

"That's fine, thanks Bebe." I say semi-concentrating on catching up to Craig.

"See you two later." Wendy follows Bebe out and I lose to Craig.

He looks over at me, his sharp dark eyes catch my attention. Note, Craig Tucker has no soul, that's why his eyes are black.

"We could play air hockey," Craig notions, my attention is drawn to Clyde and Jason causing a commotion at one of the zombie shooting games.

"Do they always act like that?" I find myself pondering aloud. I quickly slap a hand over my mouth when I realize what I had said.

Craig chuckles, it's deep too, fuck, his voice is really deep. "Yeah."

We walk over to the air hockey table and Craig slips in the last of our tokens already. "This place is a rip off." He states as air gets pumped through the table.

Craig ricochets the puck towards my goal as soon as he picks up the puck.

"Jesus!" It didn't take long for Craig to get three goals on me. Clyde and Jason saunter over presumably also out of coins.

My phone buzzes again as I reach my arm over the table to trip Craig up. It works.

"Yeah, beat Craig!" Clyde cheers still looking fucked up.

Sadly, I don't score again, "Good game," Craig's mouth smirks, it doesn't look like a happy emotion to me, but I take it as an odd victory. I don't particularly care if Craig is happy.

"It's getting pretty late, I should take you guys home." I'm thankful that Clyde is not willing to abandon us at a shitty bowling alley.

(From Thomas) Did you get murdered?

I start laughing at Thomas' text, probably not the best move.

"What's so funny?" Jason calculatingly questions me.

I play it off, I'm trying not to ruin my cool factor. "Nothing, just a funny text."

As we get back to Clyde's car, "So you texting a girl Tweek?" Clyde wriggles his eyebrows to insinuate that I have a romantic life. "Is it that older goth girl? She always comes in and asks where you are."

Yeah, that's because I know how to not fuck up what Henrietta wants at Harbucks. The answer is good coffee, ding ding ding, points for everyone. I also hang out with her younger brother, semi important. I don't answer him.

"Oh! I was supposed to give you my number at work, let me type it in your phone." As Craig and I creep in Clyde's backseat, I hand my phone over.

Jason speaks up, "Hey put my number in too, I don't have any contacts in my phone. It's a bit fucking sad."

Clyde laughs, "Fine loser, tell me your number."

"Five, five, five, six, seven, two, two, nine, three, four." Jason rattles off, I really don't want his number. I'm also jealous and pissed that he can just remember a ten digit phone number, like it's easy.

After Clyde finishes, he hands back my phone, I see that Clyde is 'The coolest guy on earth'. Subjective. He also added Jason as 'Faggy Jason'. I only know one, that title seems unnecessary.

Clyde starts his engine and distracts himself and Jason in the front seat.

(To Thomas) Thank fuck, I think this is over. I'll have them drop me off at Bradley's. You're still there right?

I notice that Craig is pushing his phone over to me. I'm a little confused until he reaches over and takes it to an add contact screen.

"Oh." I try and discreetly enter my phone number into Craig's phone. I don't know why we're being secretive, but it's better if those guys don't know, probably? I don't know, man. I struggle to remember and sing my phone number song to myself. Craig gives me a strange look.

"Tweek, where do you live? I realize I have no fucking clue where I'm going." Clyde states.

"You know where the Biggles live right?" I try and fix my hair.

"Oh yeah." Clyde smirks, "Say hi to your girlfriend for me."

I'm not sure what he's talking about, I've been pretty gay in front of Clyde before. He doesn't seem like a total douche, but now I have to reconsider everything. "Oh, uh okay?" I must appear dumbfounded since Craig just shrugs his shoulders at me.

"It's really not that far of a drive," Clyde continues talking, I kinda ignore him in hopes that this car ride will end sooner.

After successfully drifting off into space, Clyde announces that "We're here, hey Tweek, I'll see you at work?"

As I step out of the car, I give Clyde a weak, "Yeah" and a wave.

They drive off and I quickly run up to the front door, politely knocking.

It takes awhile, but Bradley opens the door, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh come on, Thomas didn't tell you?"

My heart pounds too many times in my chest for my liking.

"He did, but I don't fraternize with a traitor." Bradley crosses his arms defiantly.

"Fuck! Just let him in Bradley." I hear Thomas from upstairs.

"Yeah! Don't be a dick, we should be proud of Tweek for becoming cool." Kevin's voice also travels throughout the Biggle household.

As Bradley gives up and lets me come in, I pontificate that, "I'm still not cool."

"We're probably just going to play some Mario Party." Bradley told me as we jog up the stairs into his bedroom. It was pretty late, and my body hurts.

Thomas lays himself out on Bradley's bed while Kevin spins in Bradley's large computer chair. I know when I work my next shift, Thomas is going to explain how he fucked up by not telling Kevin about how much he admires him. Gay. That's the 'South' part of me coming out I guess.

I shouldn't throw stones, two years ago Thomas and I felt sorry for ourselves since we both didn't have our first kiss yet. While slightly shouting expletives, Thomas let me stick my tongue in his mouth. He told me I was good, he might have been flattering me. I didn't mind then and I don't now.

Bradley set up his old GameCube, "Here," He hands me a controller. This is more my speed.

"Tweek, you smell like weed, were you smoking?" Bradley eyes me up and down, I could sense some jealousy or resentment.

"They were, I probably got contact high. Don't let me near a baby, I'll stick it in the oven." This makes Thomas chortle.

"Oh man, Cock! Fuck! That's too funny." Thomas sounds like he can't breathe. I smile, I missed these nerds today.

AN: I know I probably shouldn't be starting another fic, however this story spoke to me. (I really like it.) Please review, don't be shy. See you next time!