A/N: I do not own Captain America, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Wonder Woman, or HISHE. This little fic is based off of How Batman v. Superman Should Have Ended by HISHE on YouTube. If you've watched it, say so in the comments below.
If you haven't, go watch it, then come back and tell me if Wonder Woman would have made a good Avenger.
By the way, if you look at it a certain way, there's a bit of Steve/Diana in here. (I wonder if I just started a new ship).
Steve Rogers was… in a bind.
See, the whole Sokovia Accords thing had made him and his crew- Falcon, Hawkeye, Ant-Man, Scarlet Witch, and his best friend Bucky- into wanted fugitives all because they wouldn't sign the paper.
Never mind that Bucky had been framed for the attack on the UN. Never mind that the World Security Council had almost nuked New York (and who saved it? Oh yeah, the Avengers). Never mind that it was a military program that created the Hulk and the Abomination (who had wrecked Harlem in their fight). Never mind that HYDRA was about to take over the world by using three new Helicarriers to take out everyone that they deemed a threat.
We were never heroes, Steve mused. We were scapegoats.
So, Steve and Sam were in a café… somewhere, laying low before plotting their next move- recruiting Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. Sure, she had been on Stark's squad, but she'd never confirmed that she'd signed the Accords, and she'd stalled the seemingly unstoppable Black Panther (another ally of theirs, who was making sure that Bucky was safe while in cryo-induced sleep until a safe way of removing the trigger words could be found) so that Steve and Bucky could go and catch the man who was responsible for all this- a vengeful Sokovian spec ops soldier named Zemo.
However, the three heroes behind them were having a very interesting conversation.
"…What were you guys doing the whole time?" one voice, distinctly female (with a lovely accent, Steve thought) said. Sam immediately called her Goddess.
"We were… sort of… fighting each other." A second voice answered, definitely masculine and gravelly. Sam dubbed it Rocky.
"Fighting is a loose term," a third voice joined in, young sounding and clear. Same dubbed him Third Wheel. "I was feeling bad about saving people for some reason and this guy went down a serious dark path."
Sam tuned out their conversation, wondering what the heck are they talking about? Sounds like a terrible plot for a movie. Steve, however, couldn't help but listen (enhanced hearing does that to you).
Rocky seemed to be deeply affected by the word "Martha," which sent him outside bawling like a little baby.
Sam looked to Steve. They both had the same look on their faces, and were thinking the same thing: whiny brat.
The explanation didn't really help, either.
"Well," Goddess replied. "This certainly isn't what I imagined hanging out with you two would be like."
"It's normally not like this!" Third Wheel protested.
A little bit later in the conversation, the talk turned to forming a team. That got Steve and Sam's attention. Are they going to come after us? Sam wondered.
"I like you, Wonder Woman. Wanna help us form a team?"
"Like… the Avengers?"
"NOOOO! This is totally different- why would you think that?" Rocky asked. 'I'm saying, like, a league. A league that… serves out… justice."
"Yeah," Third Wheel joined in, not wanting to be left out. "And then we can be like 'you just got served… some justice."
"Okay," Rocky said. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I vote reboots."
"Don't you dare," Goddess said, "I just got here."
Sam looked to Steve. Steve looked to Sam. Well, now or never, I guess.
Steve got up, and casually walked towards the bathroom- which, not coincidentally, would take him right past the three voices.
The woman was speaking to two oddly dressed men. One was wearing blue spandex with red underwear (on the outside? Really?) and the other was trying way too hard to be a bat.
She was rather pretty, though, Steve had to admit. The sword and shield strapped to her back was… odd, but then again, Steve usually had his shield strapped to his back, too. (It was out in the van; too obvious in a place like this.) She'd make an excellent addition to the crew.
So, Steve put on his most adorable face.
"Excuse me, miss," he said, stopping at the correct booth, "I couldn't help but overhear you guys talking about forming a team? A team of what?"
"Oh," Third Wheel shrugged. "Just a band of superheroes, saving the world and stuff."
"I see. I already do that, and I've got my own squad."
"No way," Rocky said now. "Prove it."
"Sure. How do you want to go about it?"
"Arm-wrestle?" Goddess- no, Wonder Woman- said, smirking. "I've yet to meet a man that can hold on against me."
"Oh," Steve said lightly, "I think I'll manage."
Steve sat down by Third Wheel and clasped hands with Wonder Woman. She grinned. "Hold on tight, new guy."
"New guy? I'm almost a hundred."
"Really?" Wonder Woman raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, what's your name?"
"Lovely name. So, what's the wager?"
"Hmmm… If I win, you join my team."
"And if I win?"
Diana smiled sweetly. "Then I join yours.
Alright then. "One…"
And Diana threw a considerable amount of force sideways, trying to pin Steve's arm. It bent sideways, almost touching the table surface, but stopped with centimeters to spare.
Diana was stunned, as were her companions. "How?"
Sam, who had joined in to watch, grinned, as Steve smirked. "I could do this all day."
They did, too. They held that position for hours, with Sam and Clark and Bruce (or alternatively, Superman and Batman) trading stories of their superheroing escapades.
Through it all, though, Steve and Diana never broke focus on their locked hands, Steve feeling an unnatural urge to show off, and Diana wanting to know if Steve really could do this all day as he claimed.
Turned out, he wasn't kidding. The various other occupants of the diner gathered around, and when the names were given, began chanting for one or the other.
"Steve! Steve! Steve!"
It was sundown before a victor was declared, and even then, it was a fluke. Sort of.
Diana was about to ask Steve, "By the gods-"
"What-" Diana began to say, surprised, but was cut off by a large THUMP! as Steve used that split second to throw Diana's arm all the way across, pinning her arm to the table top.
The diner erupted in cheers as Superman and Batman sat back, shocked and dismayed. Steve looked both apologetic and triumphant. "Sorry- it just kind of slipped out."
Diana smiled. "It's fine. Now tell me, who are my new teammates?"
"Well, Diana, there's one right now. Hey Sam!"
When Natasha finally joined, she was taken aback at the tall Greek woman who was standing next to Steve. "Who is…" she said, pointing.
Sam smirked. "Oh, her? That's Diana. She lost an arm-wrestling match."
"How- Why- Oh, never mind."
As it turned out, Diana got along rather well with Natasha and Wanda. And later on, Batman and Superman got over their shock and joined Steve's squad, which caused the Sokovia Accords to be quietly repealed.
Thanos never knew what hit him. Neither did Darkseid.