Killian's been back in her life for almost two weeks, she could describe their relationship as going by instinct, they are not really together, they haven't even kissed, but they spend a lot of time together, the three of them.
The woman from the call has never left her mind. She's there pulsing behind everything else, she's considered if maybe knowing more about it will help to reassure her, but she ends up deciding that it could be worst. Mary Margaret is right, Killian is here now and she has to focus on that.
To have friends in town that helps her with Henry it doesn't compare to parenting with someone else, she is fascinated with how fast Henry and Killian developed a tight relationship. To watch them together is the most amazing thing she's ever witnessed.
Killian said he found a place, and that he is showing it to her later today, she is exited with the news, because it means is real, he is here to stay.
"Earth to Emma" her boss's voice pulling her out from her thoughts, she looked up and he was standing in front of her desk. She blushed knowing she was caught thinking of Killian.
"I'm sorry…I'm trying to remember if I put a change of clothes in Henry's bag" she lied.
"umhm" was Graham's answer and she blushed again "May I ask you something?" he questioned sitting on the chair placed in front of her desk.
"You may" she replied staring at the files on her desk, trying to remember what was she doing before spacing out.
"Is Killian staying for long?" the question picked her interest and she stopped what she was doing.
"He is moving into town, actually" she replied narrowing her eyes.
"Oh….Good for Henry" he said and the smile he gave her after didn't reach his eyes. That's when Emma finally realized why it took Killian a short exchange of words to notice, Graham likes her. She really doesn't need this right now, so she hopes that he doesn't pursue her.
"Killian is a wonderful guy. Henry and I…we are happy to have him back, ok?" she replied as nice as she could, but trying to make a point. Graham nodded.
"All right, if you are happy I'm happy" he said looking intently at her "But if he hurts you or Henry, I'm kicking his ass out of this town"
"You won't have to, but thanks" she gave him a tight smile. Graham walked away from her desk. That was weird, totally unexpected. She should have seen it coming, she relied a bit on Graham before, he was the only person she knew in this town, he was always happy to help and she appreciated it. She never noticed he was into her, too busy thinking about Killian to notice.
Later that day she picked Henry and Killian from Granny's and she followed his directions to arrive at the place he rented. She found the street familiar and she told him the story of how many times she has walked with Henry in this street because she is in love with a house.
"Look, that's the house" she said pointing at the big grey house with white picket fence, he looked at the house and then looked back at her with wide eyes. She stopped in front of the house.
"Really?" he asked with a grin on his lips.
"Yeah, really. What's going on?" she asked felling left out of some joke or something.
"Emma, this is the house I'm moving in" he said with a big smile.
"What? No, you must be confused, this house is for sale"
"Was… was for sale, see?" he said pointing at the On Sale poster at front. It was covered with a big 'Sold' crossing it.
"You bought it?" she asked to loud for the small space in the car and Killian laughed.
"If I would have wanted to surprise you it wouldn't have gone as well as this. Come on, let's go inside" he said opening the door walking out then reaching in on the backseat for Henry. She was frozen holding the steering wheel, her mouth half open. Then Killian called her name and she looked at him, a big smile on his face "Come on, love. We are waiting for you" she looked at him and he was standing next to the car with Henry on his arms.
She stepped out of the car still surprised, she thought he rented a place, when he said it was in this street she realized it was a house, but she would have never guessed he bought one, and not just a house, her house, the house she is in love with. They walked inside and it was empty, no furniture anywhere.
"I thought you said you left Granny's today. Where are you going to sleep? On the floor?" she asked looking around, he gave her Henry to hold and he took a box from a corner where his suitcases were.
"Well, I've got this air mattress. It's just for one night, I'm going to Boston tomorrow to fetch my things. I still have the furniture from the loft" he said looking giddy.
"Why didn't you just stayed one more night at Granny's?" she asked with a smile, his happiness was contagious.
"To be honest love, this is the first house I own, so I was excited to sleep in here as soon as they gave me the keys. So…Do you like it?" he asked with a beautiful smile, his eyes sparkling.
"I do, this house is even more beautiful on the inside…I still think is silly for you to sleep tonight on that dreadful thing, I have slept on air mattresses before, and it's not good for your back" she took a step closer to him "Not that I want to ruin your first night at your first home, but I can offer a more comfortable option" she said slowly. She's been waiting for an excuse to have him back at her bed, this is an opportunity she is not going let pass by. He took a step closer to her, leaving them one in front of the other.
"Really? I might be interested" he said taking a lock of her hair and placing it behind her ear.
"I still owe you a breakfast" her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest. He grinned getting even closer.
"It's a very tempting offer, I'll be a stupid man if I don't take it" he was there, getting closer. It was happening, she will kiss him again, but of course she didn't. Henry made a noise, annoyed by being ignored and crushed between them. Killian smiled widely and looked at Henry "Really, lad? We have to work on your timing" He kissed Henry's head instead and his phone started ringing. Not that his phone rings a lot when they spend time together, but when it did she tenses up, every time, this was not the exception, so she walked away from him "It's Will" he announced, she knows he does it to reassure her, this feeling is new and annoying, she doesn't want to be a jealous girlf…co parent.
She walked up the stairs, Killian's conversation with Will as a background noise. There are three bedrooms, She walked into them daydreaming, the master bedroom is big and well lighted she can see their old bed in here, the other bedroom was perfect for Henry. There is a smaller one, big enough for an office for Killian or a nursery…When that word crossed her mind she froze, what crazy nonsense was crossing her mind, because she didn't think of a nursery for Henry, she already decided which one will be Henry's bedroom in her daydream. This is Killian's house not hers, they won't need a nursery, they haven't even kissed yet and she is moving in with him in her dreams and needing nurseries for imaginary babies. She needs to get a grip of herself.
"Do you like the house?" she was startled by Killian's voice.
"Yeah I love it" she said trying to hide her blush by giving him her back.
"Good….The realtor said this one could be good for a nursery" he said and Emma widens her eyes.
"But I think is best to give Henry the other bedroom, it's bigger than this one, he's going to grow fast, right?" he explained, of course he was thinking about Henry.
"Yeah, I think that one is perfect for him. You could make this one an office for you" she said smiling, felling silly for her earlier thoughts.
"I don't know, we'll see…" he looked thoughtful, but soon Henry was bored and called for Killian's attention, so he approached and took him from her.
They left the house after a few minutes and went back to her loft. After putting Henry to sleep she started felling nervous. They are going to sleep together without Henry tonight, to be honest she just wants to sleep next to him, to do something else will complicate things unnecessarily.
"So, how long will you be gone?" she asked, standing next to him, watching Henry sleep.
"I guess I'll arrange everything tomorrow and will be back the next day. I don't want to be gone for long" he whispered back.
"We will miss you" she said and he reached for her hand holding it tight. Then he pulled her away from the crib towards the kitchen, a few steps away from Henry.
"You don't even begin to know how much I will miss the two of you too" he said standing too close or maybe not close enough. Her heart was drumming inside her chest.
"Maybe you could show me how much" she said feeling bold, staring into his eyes totally compelled by him. And her words where encouragement enough, he closed the little distance separating them and kissed her, her mind stopped and everything she was aware of was him, his arm surrounding her waist and pushing her body to his, his tongue moving inside her mouth expertly, the way she remembers, the way she likes. One of her hands went up to his head, her finger tangling in his hair, something she'd been wanting to do, craving the softness of his hair for so long.
"That much and a lot more" he said pressing his forehead to hers when the need for air was too much to ignore, and then gave a chaste kiss to her mouth. She kissed him again, long and intense, her head spinning when the kiss ended. He caressed her cheek "I can't believe I just kissed you" he whispered.
"Let's go to bed" she whispered back. He looked into the direction of her bedroom and then back at her.
"Are we ready for that?" he asked looking wrecked just by the idea and she smiled.
"I'm ready for sleeping next to you, maybe cuddled, and kissing you good morning" she took the out he gave her. To go further it'd be too complicated right now, she was happy with kissing him for now.
"That sounds perfect, love" he said with a smile.
They got ready for bed, taking turns in the bathroom. She waited for him already under the covers, checking her phone to keep herself occupied. Soon he joined her and it felt so natural seeing him getting into bed next to her, the remembrance of the past crossing her mind. They lay facing each other, he took her hand and kissed it before placing it between them with their finger intertwined.
"I want to drive back here in my car. When I left Boston I left my car on Will's care. Since I'm settling here, it'd be best to have it with me. The house is a bit far away from here, it would take long walks back and forth" he said.
"Can you drive? I mean I thought you couldn't"
"I can, I was a bit under confident before. But I thought I couldn't hold a baby in my arms and I'm fine with Henry, I'm sure I can drive my car. The most important things are made with the right hand anyways"
"Ok, but is a long drive back here. Be careful, take it slow" she suggested and he smiled.
"I will" he replied, for a few seconds they were quiet just staring at each other. Then Emma moved closer.
"I still don't know what are we doing here, and I think is best if we don't overthink it"
"I agree" he whispered.
"Just, let's take things slow. This is not just about us"
"It's about Henry too"
"Do you always sleep wearing that thing?" she asked noticing he was wearing the black glove. He shook his head slowly "Take it off" she commanded, and he hesitated "Killian, I know the scars by heart, I tended to them. You are still you, glove or no glove" she looked into his eyes and moved to take out the offending item. Stopping before doing it, just to make sure he was ok with her intrusion, he just took a deep breath a nodded softly. She removed the glove and sat down on the bed with her legs crossed and took his hand in hers "It healed well, it looks so much better" she said and he was quiet, she caressed the scars "Does it hurt?"
"No" he whispered, and she put a kiss on top his hand.
"I understand that you don't want people staring or asking questions, but with us you don't have to wear it all the time, ok?" she said and he nodded his eyes sparkling.
He grabbed her arm with his good hand and pulled her down, colliding her mouth with his, she could feel all the longing and all the regret of the time wasted on that kiss. She could recognize it because that's exactly how she feels.
"Why did we lose so much time?" she asked when the kiss got to an end.
"Maybe if we stayed together then, feeling unhappy, we wouldn't be here now" he said kissing her head when she cuddled to his chest.
The next day, early in the morning she let Killian go with a chaste kiss to his mouth and a quick hug. He left after kissing Henry's head and looking at them for a second too long. It feels good to be able to kiss him again, but at the same time she feels a bit overwhelmed.
After a long day, getting back home with Henry without Killian anywhere to be seen it felt so lonely, her loft felt so void, there's when she realized how fast and deep he had engrained in their lives. He video called before Henry's bedtime, the baby was excited looking at Killian on the screen hearing his voice.
The next day she was impatient, watching her phone over and over again, hoping to find a text from Killian, she didn't text him, because she knew he'd be driving, so she just waited. It was Saturday and she had the day off, so that made the waiting a bit unbearable. She was about to walk in the walls when she decided to take Henry for a walk, so she got themselves ready to go out, she left the stroller in the car, so she was grabbing her car keys when it was a knock in the door. She jumped a bit and looked at the watch, it was way too early for Killian to be back. So she opened the door and the person she found there, she hoped to never ever see again.
Milah was standing there, in front of her, in high heels, wearing too much perfume for a Saturday morning, definitely too dressed up for Storybrook, she has to admit, the woman is beautiful.
"Hello, dear. I think we need to talk" the woman said looking up and down her, she wishes she could shield Henry from the woman's stare but it was too late for that, she was holding him in her arms, because they were on their way out.
To drive again it feels empowering, there are a lot of things he stopped doing that he is definitely going to try again, many of those things will take time to master one handed, but with practice he can do anything. If he managed to change a diaper and dress a baby, anything is possible. The moving truck was tailing him, he can't to watch Henry sleep on his crib, the real one, the one they picked for him together.
It didn't take long for his thoughts to circle back to Emma, to kiss her again was wonderful, but to sleep all night right next to her after kissing her good night was marvelous. He can't wait to repeat that one, in their house. Because let's be honest here, he didn't buy that house for himself, he bought it for them, to start over again, and do things right this time.
Everything he went through the year without her feels ridiculous now. An image of Milah crossed his mind and he moved uncomfortable on his seat, holding the steering wheel thighter. That was stupid, he is drinking no more, he makes poor decision inebriated.
It really was a long drive, but to finally drive through the townline, leaving behind the "Welcome to Storybrooke" sign it felt as coming home, in a way not even Boston ever felt. He smiled and relaxed a bit on his seat, he drove through main street, and he wishes he could just park in front of Emma's building, but he has to take the moving truck to the house, so he drove past it.
He asked for full services of the moving company, they will have to move and place every furniture inside, he was a bit useless carrying a bed upstairs with just one hand, these fine lads promised to do the job so it was perfect. He knows Emma will walk in and do her thing with everything anyway, so the guys will leave everything in place for her to move later.
When he explained where everything went and the lads were unloading the truck he finally have a minute to call Emma, the phone ringed and ringed but she never picked up. He tried again, but this time it went straight to voice mail. He frowned, feeling concerned. He called David next, he said he haven't seen Emma today and asked if he wants him to go check on her, Killian thanked him but he'll do it himself. He made sure the movers could be left alone for a few minutes, and he jumped in his car and drove to her place.
It was half afternoon, maybe she felt asleep or something, but he needs to know she and Henry are alright. He parked close to her place and while walking towards the building he marked her number again, straight to voice mail. He sped his pace. When he was in front of her door a bit breathless by running up the stairs, he knocked. He could hear Henry making noises, so he waited.
Emma opened the door, but the sight in front of him made him stop and frown in concern. Her eyes were red rimmed and an angry frown in her face, the energy that surrounded her stopped him. When Emma is angry you can almost touch her energy, it leaves you breathless.
"What's wrong?" he asked uncertain if stepping in or just stand there.
"Milah" just a name and his world fell apart. How does she know? He wished then he took the chance to tell her himself, to explain his stupidity as best as he can, but how does he explain now? She is closed off.
"Emma…" he whispered because he couldn't find his voice. He couldn't help but think that Emma was running away from him again.
"I didn't want to know" she said closing her eyes, and his heart broke because of her, he could feel her pain and he hated to be a part of it, Henry started making noises calling for attention, he certainly heard his voice and now wants to be greeted, Emma ignored him "I would have been happy not knowing" she said and he heard it as an ending and he hated it.
"We can still be happy" he said felling desperate, he wanted to grab her, to touch her to let her know he was right there.
"You need to go, I don't want to talk to you right now" Henry's noises were louder, he tried to looked inside to where the noises were coming, and he notice it was from the baby's crib. Emma notice "He'll be fine" she said and was about to close the door when the baby started crying, she stopped.
"Let me say hello" he said scared, scared that Emma will refuse now and will refuse in the future, he can't live without Henry, he is his son. The baby was obviously crying because he was hearing him but not getting his attention, that frustrated him, because he wants to run to his side. How can his life be so out of place, he left hours ago.
Emma hesitated, Henry's crying was louder now so she stepped in walking toward his crib, leaving the door open, he took a few steps in.
Emma took Henry from his crib and hugged him trying to comfort him, but the baby's arms were reaching towards Killian, his face red and cover in tears, he took a couple steps towards him by instinct but Emma gave him a look that stopped him in his tracks, he watched for a few more seconds and he didn't care Emma's warning, he approached them and took one of Henry's little hands.
"Hush lad, I'm right here" Killian said in a soothing voice, as soothing as he managed. Henry's full body was reaching for him now so Emma relented and Killian finally grabbed him, holding him tight, whispering nonsense to him. Killian looked at Emma and fresh tears were running through her face. What the fuck happened while he was gone? They were happy, and he found them broken hearted.
Henry calmed down faster than he expected, all he wanted was to be noticed by him, when he got it he relaxed "Don't you ever think I don't want to greet you, or hold you, or play with you. I love you so much" he said to the boy and the baby was staring at him with attention as if he could understand every word. He kissed Henry's head and looked at Emma, she didn't look angry anymore, she looked sad, he never seen her as sad as he saw her right now and that scared him, he doesn't want to lose them, he just got them back "Emma…"
"Not now, we can't do this in front of Henry. But you do need to go" she said and he nodded he'll give her space for now, just a few hours because he will definitely be coming back later. He put the baby back in his crib and gave him the orange octopus for him to hold. He gave another look at Emma, but she was staring at the floor.
He walked towards the front door that was still open, when he was about to come out Emma added "Your girlfriend said she'll be waiting for you at Granny's" her voice breaking and he stopped, of course, Milah was here. He turned around to face Emma.
"I'll deal with her. Whatever she said, I can assure you right now it wasn't as she painted it. I'll be back, the two of you are everything I need and more. You are my family" With those final words Emma looked up into his eyes.
A/N: I hope you are enjoying this, it took me a while to figure out how to make Milah mess up thing in the right way, I hope I achieved it. Comment me your thoutghs, it really help with the muse when I read your reviews.
We are closer to the end, I hope to post weekly, every weekend!