It just took her a second of watching Milah standing in front her to know this has something to do with Killian, there was no other reason for that woman to be here.
"As much as I would like to avoid getting to know your…home" the woman said with disdain taking a look inside "It'd be more comfortable to talk inside."
"I don't think we have anything to talk about" Emma said and Henry made a noise that caught the other woman's attention, and trying to get Henry as far away as she can from the woman she walked back inside and put him on his crib. When she turned, Milah was inside glancing around with an unimpressed look in her eyes.
"Look, dear. I bet you already know I'm here about Killian. It was hard to find him, but you on the other hand…" the brunette said and Emma walked to the other side of the loft just to keep Milah's eyes away from Henry.
"What do you want?" she asked facing Milah.
"I want the best for him, and you are definitely not it" the woman said looking at her up and down, and it made her blood boil.
"And who is? You?"
"Maybe not. But at least I'm just trying to make him better, All those months with me he grew his company even more, he's making more money than he ever dreamed making. All you can offer are responsibilities that are not even his" the woman said giving a quick look at Henry "And you… you don't deserve him"
Emma was so angry she was shaking 'all those months with me' was repeating in her head "Who are you to tell me who or what I deserve?" she asked, her hands fisting.
"Who am I? I am the woman who picked up the pieces you left behind, what did you do to leave him so broken? You just used him for money and comfort when you realized someone else knocked you up, but you were not counting on his accident, he was useless then, you not only broke his heart, you broke his spirit, I've never seen him the way he was when he came for me….Now you found him as himself again and didn't waste time in digging your claws. So no, I don't believe you deserve him".
"You don't know what you are talking about" Emma mumbled, Milah's words stung and reverberated in her head 'I know I don't deserve him' she thought, she's been feeling guilty since the day he came back, she left him when he needed her the most, he says he understands, that her priority it should have been Henry, that he wasn't fit to take care of them back then. But still she feels guilty, because she knows they lost a lot of time they can't take back, and he spent most of that time with this awful woman. She accuses her of wanting Killian's money, she can't even be offended by that, is ridiculous.
"What is the plan? For him to leave behind everything he worked so hard for to move to this quaint town to take care of your responsibilities?"
"I don't have to listen to you. Get out of my house" Emma ordered in a low voice.
"He loves you, I know that. But you are not being fair to him. You don't love him, you wouldn't have left him at his worst if you did. He deserves better than you, Emma. You know it" yes he deserves better than her, but she won't make the same mistake again of making choices for him. She paid precious time together the last time she did.
"You are just an old bitter woman, you can't accept that he left you to come back to us" Emma hissed. She definitely hit a nerve because the brunette's face wavered for a second and frowned.
"The things he did to me this past months I don't think he'll ever touch you like that. He will be back" the woman threw venom from her mouth and Emma's temper got the best of her.
"Leave….Now" the last word she screamed it. Henry started crying because of her yelling and she walked to him. Milah hesitated, but it seemed as if being close to a crying baby wasn't something she was willing to do.
"Tell Killian that I'll be waiting for him at the B&B, I won't leave until he meets me there" the brunette said before walking out of her loft. Emma, holding Henry In her arms walked to the door and closed it, leaning on it.
"It's alright baby, everything's alright" she said trying to calm Henry down.
After the episode with Milah, Emma didn't have energy to walk Henry around town, she was barely keeping it together just for him. She busied herself with lunch, the whole conversation replaying in her head, After feeding him lunch, Henry fell asleep, he was a bit fuzzy today, so she let him rest. She went to bed too, sleep far away from her mind.
Milah's voice replaying in her head 'the things he did to me, he'll never touch you like that'. An image of Killian and Milah together almost made her threw up her lunch. The last time they made love was at New York, a couple days before the accident, the reason for not making love anymore was it because of his hand, or was it because he found her too big and disgusting to have sex with her, or was it because he saw Milah again that weekend?
He ran to Milah's arms as soon as he could. When she was pining over him, when she kept him in her mind constantly, felling sorry and guilty, reproaching herself, feeling terrible for taking Henry away from him, waiting for him to show up to meet Henry, he was happy and fucking this awful woman, who now is self-righteous enough to tell her what to do. Her eyes filled with tears, tears of anger, tears she didn't want to shed. She hates felling unwanted and rejected again.
"You don't deserve him" she heard the accentuated voice of the older woman in her head again. She knows what she did, and she regretted it from the get go, she won't ever forget it, she hates not being there for him. But Milah doesn't deserve him either and that is a fact.
She would have liked not knowing, whatever she imagined it was definitely not Milah. Does he still have feelings for her? Why did he go back to her as soon as he was free to do so? That has to mean something. Tears were now running free on her face, tears of frustration and anger. She only had over five months with Killian before, so Milah got longer, a long relationship years ago, and more than five months recently. Maybe the odd woman out is her.
She couldn't think straight, she rounded back to the same thoughts all messed up on her mind. Cleaning her face from tears, she was so angry with herself for letting Milah get to her, and to Killian for somehow driving the woman to her doorstep, the woman was an expert manipulator, and being aware of that didn't change anything, because the woman hit jackpot on her insecurities. Her phone started ringing, and she didn't need to look at it to know it was Killian, the ringtone she gave him was the one making noises. She started sobbing when she turned the phone off, it was so unfair, she was so happy when she woke up, Now she is angry and sad, Killian was with Milah until a couple weeks ago when he returned, if she didn't accept him, would he still be at New York with her? Henry woke up with the ringing and her sobbing, so she walked to him and cleaned her face.
"Hey kid" she said caressing his head to greet him. Henry took his octopus and offered it to her, as if noticing her mood and giving her what comforts him, that made her smile and she hugged the stuff animal for a second before giving it back to the baby and kissing his head. When she heard a knock on the door, Henry made excited noises, hoping for sure that Killian is the one at the door. And she knows he is, if he called he was already in town.
In the short walk to the door her anger came back with force, shielding her from pain. Killian's concern was palpable, but she can't talk to him right now, she is too upset to do so, and he needs to take care of the woman who is still in town too close from her home.
Henry was getting upset by not being able to see Killian, and when she was about to close the door for him, the baby started crying. Killian followed her inside, she didn't want him there. She wanted him to go, she needed to think, to put her thoughts in order. She doesn't trust herself when she is angry, that's why she prefers to cool off, because she has questions, but she doesn't want to talk crying like a fool.
She couldn't calm Henry so Killian step up and she couldn't refuse. Then Killian said "Don't you ever think I don't want to greet you, or hold you, or play with you. I love you so much" and that was too much, she couldn't hold her tears anymore, she's scared of losing this, what if Killian listens to Milah and goes away? What if Henry can't have a father anymore? They need to talk, but not in front of Henry. She has to think about her son.
Killian left promising to take care of Milah, and as much as she hates sending him to that woman. She doesn't want to face her again, Milah has to leave.
"I'll deal with her. Whatever she said, I can assure you right now it wasn't as she painted it. I'll be back, the two of you are everything I need and more. You are my family" he said and she felt it as a promise, so she looked into his eyes for a few seconds and then he left.
She was anxious, she couldn't just stay here locked up. Henry was still moody so she dressed him up and resumed her earlier plans of taking him for a walk. She would appreciate the fresh air too.
The sun was setting when they walked out of her loft. She went to her car to retrieve the stroller, placed Henry in it, the baby looked happy already, so she smiled. She walked in front of Granny's and wasn't sure if walking in for a cup of coffee to go for their walk. What if she finds Milah and Killian in there? But she reconsidered, Milah wouldn't even walk into the diner. So she got in, ordered her coffee. Graham came in from the back of the diner.
"Oh, the Swans are here…or is it the Jones now?" he asked as a greeting and she really didn't have a sense of humor at the moment.
"Last time I checked I wasn't married" she answered while counting her money to pay for the coffee.
"Let me take care of that" he said getting closer to her to pay for her drink. At this closeness she noticed the unmistakable scent of alcohol.
"Have you've been drinking?" she asked wrinkling her nose. He smiled ignoring her question.
"Are you alright?" he asked handing her the coffee. She wondered if it was that obvious that she wasn't exactly herself right now. She said nothing, not knowing what to say, so she took a sip from her coffee "I'm asking because I saw your boyfriend having a heated argument with a very well dress lady. You know too passionate to be two strangers discussing the weather" She frowned. He was fishing for a reaction and she was not going to comply.
"I came in just to buy a coffee to go, thank you" she thanked him and grabbed the stroller pushing it to go, Leroy was walking in when she arrived so he helped her get it in. She walked to the door and opened it, the three steps at front made her stop, she was deciding how to get the stroller down those steps with Henry on it, when Graham grabbed the stroller and took it down for her, kneeling in front of Henry to caress his head as a greeting.
"Why don't you guys stay and we have a drink" he said and one of Emma's eyebrows went up "Coffee of course, and later dinner. We've done it before. That'll make you feel better" he said with a smile that'd be more charming if it wasn't stained by alcohol. He wasn't drunk but was half way there.
"I don't think so and I'm fine" she said and started walking pushing the stroller rounding Graham. But he ran in front of her again.
"Come on, if you were fine you'd be in there having coffee with me" he insisted. She started walking again.
"Is none of your business" she said bitterly and tried to get away from him.
"He doesn't deserve you, not you, not Henry" he said following her. She stopped and turned around to face him. That stupid word, she hates it.
"Why do you care?" she asked and felt stupid after asking the question because she already knew the answer. Although she wasn't ready for what he did next.
"I care because…" He said and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. For one second she didn't react, she felt like this was a bad joke, but it was real and it wasn't ok. She pushed him as hard as she could from her.
"What that hell was that? How much have you've been drinking?" But it got worst, because it can always get worst.
"Bloody hell?!" Graham was pulled from behind almost going to the floor by the force of it, then Killian placed himself as a wall in front of her with his back at her, waiting for Graham's reaction. She checked on Henry and grabbed the stroller, clueless on what to do. Graham deserves a punch on the face, but he is still the sheriff and her boss, and she doesn't want Killian getting in trouble. Graham found his balance again and stood tall in front of Killian "Just go mate, I'd really hate to punch you in front of my son"
"Emma…I'm sorry…" he said ignoring Killian and Emma noticed Killian's back tensing and his hand fisting, when he was about to move she grabbed his arm.
"It's not worth it. Let's go" she whispered to him, still seeing just his back, he relaxed just a little bit.
"Don't you ever touch her again" he threatened before turning around and taking the stroller from her, she followed him walking away from Graham. Somehow she was still holding her coffee, so she took a sip to calm herself. How eventful can a simple day be? They just walked in silence for a couple of minutes. After half a block Killian stopped, and finally looked at her, still frowning "I swear I would have kick his ass if Henry wasn't with you" he said running his hand over his face.
"Where did you come from?" she asked
"From your home, I didn't find you there and saw the car outside, so I figured you couldn't be far, so I walked. I saw you coming out of Granny's and that idiot assaulting you"
"He didn't assault me"
"Really? So you wanted to be kissed by him?" he asked frowning.
"Of course not" she answered and he look up front again and started walking. Henry wanted to be carried in arms and Killian complied as he always does, so she ended up pushing an empty stroller following Killian and Henry back home, they didn't say another word to each other.
When they entered the loft Henry was sleeping with his head on Killian's shoulder, he put him carefully on the baby's crib and caressed his little head, she was watching mesmerized "Should he be sleeping at this hour?" he asked startling her.
"I don't think he's been feeling too god today, he's been fuzzy and moody" she explained getting closer, then she put a hand on the baby's forehead but he's temperature seemed fine. Killian nodded and started walking away from her. That's when she noticed he was trying to keep his distance from her. Somehow, her walk with Henry turned into a Killian's walk with Henry followed by her, she should have noticed earlier. She took a few steps to get closer to him but he took a few steps towards the door
"I'm going to go" he said, the frown returning. He was acting odd so she couldn't stop herself.
"Are you mad because of the Graham thing?" she asked frowning and crossing her arms on her chest. He avoided looking into her eyes and took a deep breath, then looked into Henry's direction, then pointed to the door. He walked outside and she followed. He was standing with his back at her, she closed the door softly and he turned around.
"Why did he think he can kiss you?" he asked anger visible on his eyes.
"Really? And here I thought we had another issue between us" she said with sarcasm in her voice.
"Well, I haven't kissed anyone else" he spited out.
"No, you haven't. You just had been sleeping with someone else" and it was really hard to keep her indoor voice, her temper getting the best of her. How dare he accused her of giving hopes to Graham? Killian was taken aback, he opened his mouth once, twice before finally speaking.
"I didn't leave you, Emma" He mumbled. And it felt like a slap on the face.
"Yeah, I left. But you weren't really there, and I didn't know how to bring you back, you were rejecting me and I was scared that you would reject my son too. I took the easy way out and I regretted it every day, I hoped you would realize that I needed you, that we needed you…" her voice breaking "and you know what it hurts the most right now, to realize that you found yourself in her bed, it doesn't matter that you came back now, you still took a plane to her instead of going to us"
Killian took a deep breath, his face contorting, he looked wrecked, she wasn't really trying to hurt him, but she did, and she didn't feel bad about it, she just wanted to go back inside and curled up on her bed, too many emotions today coming and going, she was tired.
"I thought you wouldn't take me back" he mumbled.
"I never said I wouldn't, Killian. Don't try to put this one on me, you decided to go to her" she said feeling and sounding exhausted. After a long silence she added "I'll leave Henry with Mary Margaret tomorrow if you still want to talk. I'm too tired right now" he was still frowning, and nodded his agreement. He took a couple steps closer to her. Using the back of his hand he cleaned a tear she didn't notice was running down her face. And she closed her eyes with the contact.
"Let me know when we can talk tomorrow, ok? I'll be here" he asked and she nodded softly. He gave her a little smile and turned around walking away from her down the stairs. She stood there for a few more seconds before going inside.
Killian walked into his new home, this is the first night he will spend here and it didn't feel special at all, not what he was expecting, because his plan for tonight was spending the first night in his first home with his family. At this time tonight he should have been walking Emma and Henry around their home, showing them the furniture he brought with him, making plans for other things they need to buy, and watching Henry finally sleep at his original baby crib.
But tonight is a far cry from whatever he hoped, he is alone, angry, frustrated, sad. As If the whole Milah situation wasn't bad enough, he had to witness the bloody sheriff kissing Emma.
He's tired, physically and emotionally. The moving, the driving from Boston, Emma's rejection, fighting with Milah, Bloody Graham kissing Emma, arguing with Emma. He considered drinking a whole bottle of rum, but he has none in the house and he is too tired to go out to buy one, so he took his second option, falling unceremoniously into bed and not moving until tomorrow. So he did, he walked around his dark house, not even changing his clothes before going to bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
He could hear his phone ringing, the sound going louder and louder, he can feel the vibration of it in his pocket so he reached his hand to get it. He opened his eyes when the bright screen was in front of his face, Emma's picture was shining on it, he sat down fast and answered without even thinking.
"Killian…" she said sounding off, but was scared him the most was that he could hear Henry's crying on the back.
"What is it, love?"
"Henry has a fever and he won't stop crying" she sounded as if she wanted to cry herself. And he was out of bed running downstairs.
"I'll be right there in a minute. Do you want to take him to the hospital?"
"No, I just talk to his pediatrician. I just…I know he'll be better if you are here. I tried, but I can't calm him down. He needs you, I need you" she said the last one softly. And he felt a warmth spreading in his chest.
"I'll be right there, love" he said opening the car's door. He is not sure how he got so fast to his car. Even when the drive to Emma's loft is a short one, he knows that they can't keep doing this, he can't keep doing this, living apart, he just needs to convince Emma.
He almost jump out of his car when he arrived, runing upstairs, his chest pounding loud in his chest. He can hear Henry's crying, he knocked on the door and Emma was there a second after. Henry saw him and his little arms reached for him, he took him in his arms without even thinking it.
"Hey lad, hush everything will be alright" he bounced him gently walking inside and after a few seconds the baby laid his head on his shoulder and stopped his sobbing. He took a look at Emma and she was standing in the middle of the loft hugging herself with a faint smile that looked saddened by the stains of tears on her face. He approached her and pulled her into a half a hug with his free arm, putting a kiss on her head "it's alright" he felt as her arms surrounded his body and he relaxed "what did the doctor say?"
"When I listed his symptoms the doctor made me check into Henry's mouth and as he expected I found that there is a teeth below the gum, you can barely see it…So the teething is finally here" she explained "the doctor wants me to take him in tomorrow morning to check him up" she separated from the hug and walking to the kitchen "I'm sorry I woke you up" she said without looking at him, busying herself with a dirty cup in the sink.
"Don't apologize. I want to be here" he said taking a few steps closer to her. Henry moved, and whined a bit. So he started bouncing him gently as he knows the baby likes.
"I don't know how you do it. I think I tried for over 40 minutes to sooth him, and you walk in and is like magic" she said drying her hands. He smiled.
"You should have called right away, Swan. I don't think I've done anything special, he's just tired"
It was over midnight and whatever medicine the doctor suggested has its effect, after a few more minutes Henry was asleep in his arms. He bounced him walking around the loft for a few more minutes just to be sure he was not going to wake up again before placing him on his crib. The adrenaline it rushed in his blood after the phone call was caught up on him. He was exhausted all of a sudden and he couldn't stop the yawn from coming.
"Thank you for coming. I knew you'll be able to calm him down. He's so taken up with you, I've never seen him so attached to anyone" she said walking to the couch sitting on it and he followed her, sitting next to her.
"No need to thank me, there's nothing else I rather be doing" he said and looked at her in the eyes, she locked her eyes with his for a few seconds before looking away, there was a long silence.
"I wish I could discuss with you what happened today right now, but I'm too tired. It was a long unpleasant Saturday" she said before letting a yawn take over. He mirrored her yawn.
"I don't want to go, Emma. What if the baby wakes up again?" he asked, she looked at him before asking.
"Where are you going to sleep?" he hated every word of that question.
"I could sleep sitting on this couch or on the floor if you want me to…but I need to know if Milah did so much of a harm that we can't share the bed?" he asked, worried of whatever her answer is going to be. Emma got up from the couch and took a few steps away from him crossing her arms under her breast, it seemed as if it is worse than he expected.
"The thing is that even forgetting you've been sleeping with her all this time, she shouldn't have ended up on my front door. What bothers me the most is that you didn't handle things properly, you didn't broke up with her before coming here, so what? If I didn't let you into our lives you would have been back to her?" she asked.
"Emma, there was nothing to break up, we weren't together like that, but yes maybe I should have made clear it was over. And you are right about being upset about it. But whatever she thinks I want or need, she has no idea of my feelings or my needs. Because all I want and need is right here in front of me" he said with vehemence, and then stood up and walked to her, he put his hand on top of one of her crossed arms "Please, love. We are too tired and we need to rest in case Henry keeps on feeling under the weather. Let's go to bed and we'll talk tomorrow as we planned. What do you say?"
"I'm too tired to argue with you right now" she said turning around and walking to her bedroom. He knew he got his way tonight, but Emma was still upset, so he won't push his luck.
She got back to bed lying down giving her back to his side of the bed. His pajamas from the other night were still in here, folded over a chair and he changed. He checked on Henry one last time before going to bed and laid down next to her, keeping his distance, giving her the space she wanted. He still felt as if he won the first round, things weren't that bad if she let him sleep with her.