"He doesn't want to have sex with you. He doesn't want you anymore. I'm better than you, I can make him crazy with desire with just one look" Milah said to her, while standing at her front door, with an obnoxious smirk on her face. She wanted to reply, move to punch her face and then slam the door close. But she couldn't, she was frozen there, listening to every awful thing Milah had to say.
Emma woke up with a gasp, relief flooding through her when she realized it was just a dream. It was still dark, she was still in the same position she fell asleep last night, unable to see Killian. She was just being stubborn when she told him to sleep on the couch, she was relieved when she felt the mattress dipping with his weight.
She looked up towards Henry's crib, just outside her bedroom, he was sleeping still for sure, she was turning around to face Killian when one of his arms surrounded her body hugging her from behind, his body pressing to hers, she stopped moving because she thought maybe he was awake too, but she noticed his breathing was light and regular so she knew he was asleep. Then she noticed something else, he was growing hard in his pants. He inhaled her neck releasing the air slowly, she had to close her eyes doing her best not to moan out loud, every hair on her body stood on end. He was still obviously asleep, and she didn't know what to do, she should move and push him to the other side of the bed, she should press herself into him, wake him up and take advantage of the moment. He made the decision for her when he pushed his hip further into her, she couldn't stop herself from moving her butt. He was awake almost immediately, his arm held her tighter to him, but then he seemed to realize what was happening and he tried to pull away, she held his arm with force, she was already here, she was not letting him pull away as he used to, she won't let him reject her again.
"Emma…" he whispered her name as if he was in pain. She rubbed her butt against him again, a soft moan coming from his mouth. She can feel his head pressing to hers "what are you doing, love?" she didn't reply, she moved again a couple of times and he asked softly "Am I dreaming?" that made her turn in his arms, in need to see his eyes.
"Do you often have this kind of dreams?" she asked looking into his eyes.
"You have no idea" he replied and she kissed him, she was all in now, she'll deal with the consequences later. He kissed her back, their lips colliding with passion into each other, her legs intertwining with his, both of them moving to get some friction between them. She removed his shirt, her fingers happily brushing his chest hair, something she missed dearly.
She couldn't stop now, she didn't want to stop, she needs to prove wrong the Milah from her dream. And she really, really wants him. She pushed him rolling him to his back sitting on top of him, she tried to remove her tshirt but he stopped her grabbing the shirt half way up, a silent question on his eyes, she just continued pushing the tshirt off, tossing it as far away as possible. His eyes were stuck on her chest for a couple of seconds, then their eyes met again and the intensity she saw in his, made her reach for his mouth to kiss him again. His injured arm pushing her closer to his body, and the good hand went to her butt, directing her movements. The skin to skin touch of their chests made them both gasp.
She couldn't take it anymore, she needs more, she needs to feel more skin, his hand cupping her breast when she separated her chest from his, she would have stayed longer enjoying it but she needs to remove their pants. She got up fast, standing next to the bed, and removed her pajama pants faster than she thought it was possible, he was just looking at her every move, when she was done, she grabbed the edge of his pajama pants but his hand stopped her again, she looked into his eyes and he looked wrecked, after a few seconds he removed his hand and she pulled his pants off. She remembers he used to be more proactive, but she understands that he is trying to give her an out every step of the way. The thing is that there is not stopping her, she can't stop, she doesn't want to stop. She wants him, she needs him.
He was about to move, to change his position, but she moved faster and sat on top of his stomach. She needs to be in control right now. She tried to rearrange herself, to push him inside of her, but he grabbed one of her wrists, making her look into his eyes "Is this about yesterday? We don't have to" he asked giving her an out again, or maybe he was giving an out to himself, doesn't he want this as much as she does?
"This is not about anyone but us…" she frowned "Are you rejecting me again?" for one second she felt as covering herself. Maybe she'll hide in the bathroom for a few minutes, he'll have to go home.
"My god, Emma. You have no idea how much I want you" he said, his voice raspy and filled with desire, the concern leaving her.
"Then shut up" she said and moved lower, when she was in position she grabbed him with her hand, making him take a deep breath.
She pushed him inside slowly by sitting fully into him. She sat there without moving for a few seconds, trying to get acquainted again with the intrusion, the last time she had sex it was with him, and it's been over a year. They look into each other eyes, his eyes drilling into her head, turning the moment into the most intimate moment she ever had in her life, soon it was too much and not enough at the same time. The expression on his face was intense, as if the world ended and started with her, and she is certain she is mirroring it. She was about to move when she felt his good hand grabbing her hip and his injured one pushing her hip, keeping her in place. She tried to look into his eyes but they were closed. She caressed his cheek and he opened them. He smiled softly and moved to be on a sitting position with her impaled into him, he looked into her eyes again so many emotions in it "I need to kiss you" he said before kissing her slowly and passionately, releasing his hand so she could move again, his injured hand on the low of her back and the other one holding her butcheek , she couldn't really move, for a second she felt like crying of happiness. He used his arms to move her on top of him, the dancing of their thongs was measuring with the dancing of their hips.
Emma's moans didn't take long to arrive and he whispered into her ear "shhhh, our boy is right outside" she giggled, because to keep quiet right now seemed impossible, but she managed, it'd be worst to wake Henry up. Killian's mouth reached one of her breasts and after a few more seconds she felt her orgasm building, when she was about to explode he reminded her to be quiet, every thrust was bringing her closer and closer, he reminded her again to be quiet when he knew for sure her release was imminent, that was easier said than done, she ended up biting his shoulder to held the noise inside, one of the best orgasms of her life, surely every one of those were brought to life by this man. Her forehead ended up pressing into his shoulder, his arms keeping her in place, because she felt like jelly, she could probably melt in the bed right now "Brilliant, love. You are so bloody beautiful" he said in her ear caressing her hair.
"I'm sorry" she said giving a tiny kiss to the print of her teeth on his shoulder. He chuckled.
"Don't fret about that. I'll carry it with pride….But I'm not done with you" he whispered, and a shiver ran up her back, she remembered that she came but he didn't, he was still big and hard inside of her.
"Go for it, tiger" she said, in one move he got her pined to the bed. He looked into her face.
"Is this real?" he asked again.
"I hope so" she replied with a smile and he smiled back at her.
"We still need to talk" he added. She nodded. He kissed her again. They made love with abandon after that, and she fell asleep with her head on his chest. Still having a couple hours for morning to arrive.
She woke up with her head on a pillow, and the cover up her chin. The light of morning coming from the windows, she stretched her arm to the other side of the bed and opened her eyes when she felt nothing but emptiness, for a second she felt confused, was it a dream after all? Then she heard Henry laughing happily somewhere in the loft so she looked up, Killian was standing on the kitchen with Henry on his arms, singing a song softly to him, a part of the song was followed by a tap on the baby's nose and that made him laugh again. She sat down in bed and when the cover slipped from her she noticed she was completely naked, so it was not a dream. Thank god!
She got up from bed, walking naked towards the closet were her bath robe was hanging, and Killian caught her mid way, looking at her from afar, call her crazy but she saw the blue of his eyes turning darker and she blushed and smiled at him. She kept on walking and grabbed the robe putting it around her. She walked towards them and Henry reached for her as soon as he noticed her. She grabbed him from Killian's arms and kissed his head. Killian did the same but to her head and she felt the blush again.
"Good morning, love. I was smashing a couple of bananas for the lad. Do you want something in special for breakfast?" he asked smashing the fruit on the plate with a fork.
"I want a Granny's grilled cheese. Something made me real hungry this morning" she said and he looked up with a big grin on his face.
"Granny's it is then. Go get ready while Henry eats this" he said taking the baby from her. But before she could move he held her chin and planted a soft kiss on her mouth, she felt light headed after it, she was not expecting it.
While she was taking a shower, thinking about everything and anything, she considered that she should have waited for them to talk and really mend things before jumping him. He would have waited as long as she wanted to, the thing is she was tired of waiting, and with all the talk of him being sexually satisfied by someone else, she needed reassurance, real reassurance. And he delivered, wonderfully. Her muscles sore, a nice sore.
When she was out the bathroom, he went to take a shower too. Henry was playing on his crib with a couple of toys Killian gave him, so she went to get dressed, she was almost done when he came walking into the bedroom with a towel around his waist. He is beautiful, inside and out, her eyes followed a trail up his body hair, she noticed her bite printed on his shoulder and she felt awful, he was drying his hair with the towel she used, she approached him and grabbed his arm to take a closer look to the bite mark.
"Oh my god" she said feeling terrible for injuring him, he giggled.
"It's alright Swan, the best kind of injury" he said winking at her with a satisfied grin on his face, she poke a finger on the bite "Hey" he complained, she smiled giving a soft kiss on the mark, then walking away from him. She grabbed Henry's clothes to go dress him to go out.
They were walking into Granny's when they ran into Graham, Killian who's been smiling nonstop all morning couldn't find amusing seeing the sheriff, and his frown returned. The sheriff was in the middle of the door, holding two cups of coffee to go. Killian was carrying Henry in his arms, she gave him a look just to check his mood and next move, but he stayed put, knowing there's nothing to do or say with Henry in his arms.
"Emma, I was on my way to your place" Graham said looking embarrassed. Emma was about to say something but Killian interrupted her.
"Let me make something clear, mate. You are walking on a thin thread as it is. I don't mean to talk for her, but I have to say this. You are her boss, she is supposed to feel safe working with you. Now, you assaulted her last night, do you thinking that a cup of coffee and stalking her at her home is going to help the matter? I can't do anything about your work place, and I know she can take care of herself. But you are not showing up at her home, ever" Emma was impressed, at first she felt as if he was trying to start a pissing contest, as if they were dogs marking their territory, but it was not really about that. She felt safe, it felt weird to realize you don't have to fight every battle alone, in his speech he left space for her to speak her mind when she wishes, but making clear she was not alone.
Graham had the decency to look ashamed, and finally looked into Killian's eyes "You are right. Going to her home is not a smart move. But I do want to apologize" he said finally looking at her. She put her hand on one of Killian's arms so he knows that she is the one talking now.
"The moment you kissed me you turned it into a work thing. I want to enjoy Sunday with my family. Can we talk about sexual harassment at the office tomorrow?" she asked and he nodded cringing at her words. She really has too many things on her plate to deal with Graham right now. She walked to a booth followed by Killian. Forgetting Graham existed, at least for today.
They had breakfast, she called Henry's doctor and explained he was feeling good today, no fever no moodiness, he was just drooling a lot and biting everything he can get his hands on, trying to scratch the itch his new teeth was causing. The doctor asked her to take him in on Monday then, but to call him if anything changes. It was Sunday, the poor man was going to go to the hospital today just for them, so she accepted.
Killian drove them to the Nolan's. They spent a little while chatting and drinking coffee with their friends, but soon they were getting up to Killian's car without Henry. They put their seatbelts on and then silence took over the car for a few seconds, things were going to get serious again soon, and both of them were bracing themselves for that.
"So, your place or mine?" Killian asked turning the ignition.
"My place…I rather not stain yours with this argument" she said looking straight ahead. He started driving without any other comment.
After a few minutes they were walking inside her loft, and she sat down at the armchair, putting her distance from him. He sat in front of her at the couch. They looked at each other, to be honest she didn't know where to begin.
They made love, he was elated while taking a shower and reliving it in his head. He didn't think Emma's body could be improved in anyway, because to him she was just perfect, but motherhood agreed with her, she is sexier than he remembers. For the first time since yesterday he felt for sure that everything is going to be alright, they are going to be alright, he wasn't so sure last night, but this morning assured him of that. He cringed while passing the soap to his right shoulder, and took a look at it, he saw the bite mark and he smiled widely, he's going to carry this with pride, the prove that it was real, that it really happened.
They had breakfast at Granny's, running into Graham was no fun but he tried to let it go, he was not gonna let him ruin his good mood. Then they left Henry at the Nolan's, and it was finally time to talk and let everything out to start again, that's how he prefers to see it.
"Where do you wanna start, Swan?" he asked after a few seconds of staring at each other.
"What happened with Milah yesterday?" she asked frowning.
"She said some nonsense about me deserving better and living up to my potential, and I have to admit that I lose my cool and screamed a bit, try to leave and she followed. When I was at the parking lot, she said something about Henry not being my responsibility and I lost it. I yell at her to leave me alone, some people saw us, so you know. Then I hope I made her understand I'm happy here, and this is all I want. So she left promising to leave me alone if I was happy but that I know where she is. She left and hopefully she won't be back" he explained.
"You are obviously leaving a lot of it out" she said frowning.
"I am, I don't see the need of repeating every single word. I'm guessing she filled you in on her opinion of us"
"Yeah, she said I'm using you for your money" she replied and he flinched, he frowned, anger burning from inside. How could Milah say that to Emma, he has heard her say it to him numerous times, he always found it ridiculous, he asked her once an not too nicely to never say that again. She did say it again to him today, and that was the thing that made him scream like a mad man to her, asking her to leave him alone, telling her he made a terrible mistake a few months ago and sadly he can't take it back, but he can remove her completely from his life now, he is not exactly proud of also screaming to her in front of a few people on the parking lot that she is a sad old woman that no one will ever love, he is not proud of that one, but at the moment it made him feel better, for a few seconds until he saw the hurt in the woman's eyes.
"Just to make myself perfectly clear here, I don't believe that and never ever did. That's bullshit and you know it" they looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds then she nodded softly.
How long where you with her?" she shot the next question, he was dreading this kind of questions but he was not going to be a coward now, he wants to be honest, he will be honest, even when he is afraid of saying something wrong, something that will push her away.
"I went to New York a few days after Henry was born" he explained.
"Didn't you want to meet Henry?" she was still frowning, and the look in her eyes, he hates it, she is doubting him and he can't blame her.
"With all my heart, Emma. But I was still broken and drunk and useless. I couldn't face you like that, because I would have kneeled in front of you like the sorry man I was, drunk and broken, asking you to get me back. You wouldn't have want me then, love" he felt tears prickling in his eyes, remembering how he felt back then, how she could brake him again with just a few words.
"So what? Is she a better person than me? You knew she would take you but not me" she snapped getting up and walking even farther away from him, standing in the middle of the loft, giving her back to him.
"No, love. I just knew she would take advantage of my situation, and she did. You had Henry to take care of, you didn't need a drunken fool with you" he said getting up too, following her, but keeping his distance, he knows better than to push her.
"So you made a choice for me. A choice that conveniently drove you to her" she said turning around, her arms hugging her.
"Ok, Swan. I was a stupid fool, sadly I can't take it back. All I can do is explain how it happened, and I'm very ashamed by it" he said and she massaged her forehead "I didn't think that going to you was an option. I wasn't myself before you left, then you were gone and I was lost, I couldn't think straight, I was drunk most of the time" he whispered getting closer, she looked up with sadness in her eyes.
"I regret leaving you, so much" she said with tears in her eyes, and his heart broke. He didn't want her to feel regret, he deserved what he got "Back then, every time I tried to spent time with you, you ended up arguing with me about anything. You were barely home, you left too early or got home too late, you didn't want to see me or talk to me. And I was so pregnant and emotional, I couldn't take it anymore. I was scared that you would leave me so I left"
"I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. You didn't deserve any of it…"
"Don't say that" she interrupted him "I was a coward, I should have stay and help you with everything you were going through, I should have been there to remind you who you are, to remember you how much I love you. Instead I took the easy way out. I just left and at the moment blame you for it. Of course it didn't last me, I knew I was the one to blame, I was the one who left" she said with passion cleaning a tear that left her eye. He didn't know what to say, it was not about words, is about showing, with her it's always been about showing her how he feels. So he took the last step separating him from her and hugged her tightly. Her arms relaxed and after a few seconds she was hugging him back.
"We are two stubborn fools. It doesn't matter who's to blame when we separated, it doesn't matter because we are sorry about it, and more importantly we are here together now" he felt her chuckle in his shoulder and he chuckled too. He separated himself from her enough to look into her eyes, she smiled softly at him and he put a chaste kiss to her mouth.
"Ok, I'm done having that discussion, but I'm not done asking about Milah" she said and he smiled, to remember Emma's stubbornness doesn't match to live the real thing.
"Swan, do we really have to?" he asked, just hoping she'll realize it was futile to keep doing that.
"How would you feel if I tell you that I was sleeping with Graham until you arrive?" She asked and he tensed up. That was an image his mind didn't need, he frowned and Emma pull her body from his "See, can you understand now?" she asked and she got him there, because now he needs to hear her say that it never happened and if it did he needs as many details as possible, to then walk away, find Graham and deliver one or two punches on the face "Before you embarrass yourself by asking if it that really happened, It was an example, It never happened. Do you get my point now?" she asked and he nodded, she rolled her eyes.
"What is you need to know about Milah, I don't think there is something of importance on that tale"
"There is a thought that doesn't leave me. The last time we made love was in New York. I know you had the accident and all…but I can't stop associating seeing her in New York and not wanting to have sex with me anymore, then I found out you flew to her…" he wanted to scream of frustration and laugh at the same time, how can this unbelievably beautiful woman think he didn't want her, and even worst that he prefer Milah over her.
"Since the moment I met you I wanted you, even when I knew you were sleeping with my roommate, even when you were someone else's girlfriend I wanted you. You don't want to know the thoughts I had of you back then, and when I finally could put my hands on you it got worst, there is not such a thing as having my fill of you and leaving as you are suggesting, I'll never be over with you, Emma. It is not about sex, is about love. And I love you"
"I love you too" she whispered back. They collided into each other kissing as if they never have kissed before. The kiss became more and more passionate, clothes was tossed aside carelessly around her home. He showed her exactly what he meant, taking advantage of the baby being somewhere else.
"I'm sorry about Milah showing up in here" he apologized a few minutes after making love to her, her head on his shoulder, her whole pressed to his.
"Yeah well, I hope that doesn't happen again"
"I don't think it will" he replied. Felling happy, maybe tonight he can take them back to their house. Maybe he will convince her she should move in. He has not only her back, he has Henry too, he is not letting go this time.
A/N: So, we are getting closer to the end, obviously. Still a couple of lose ends, I'll try to wrap them up as good as I can. Hope you are still enjoying this story, I vow to finish it, so I will. Thank for reading and let me know your thoughts, it makes me happy:)
See you at the next chapter!