18Two people sat at an old, finely-wrought, true-oak desk, staring at each other under the harsh yellow of the station lighting. One was a man, old by the standards of many worlds, but young by the standards of his navy. A veteran of a dozen battles and uprisings, but only just beginning his career. A faithful man, yet open to ideas that would further the cause of his empire.
By all rights, he was exceptional. Already he had faced off against enemies centuries older, with hard-fought millennia of battle behind them, and he had triumphed where others had fallen. His actions and innovative battle strategies had saved worlds; though some had fallen, enough had survived.
Yet there things he had so far been completely unable to wrap his head around. First and foremost, the one in front of him.
"So…you were boarded in the last battle."
It was not a question. He had read the reports thoroughly, but a part of his mind still wanted to hear her confirm it.
The young lady across from him didn't even look up as she finished preparing tea.
"Yep."
A silence persisted for a time.
"You are the size of an average human woman."
Now she did look up.
"That's because Kongou is an average human women, dess!"
He narrowed his eyes, speaking slowly to emphasize the absurdity.
"...A human woman equipped with standard macro-batteries, a functioning gellar field, and a nova cannon."
"A better than average human woman then, Teitoku," She responded as she handed him a cup of what she called 'Jarl Grey' tea.
Part of him wanted to concede the point, but it was overwhelmed by the parts that wanted information that he, quite arguably, was not meant to know.
"A human woman boarded by…" He picked up a dataslate, reading carefully.
"...25 Black Legion Terminators, 40 Black Legion Traitor Marines, and 100 Heretic Armsmen."
He turned a questioning eyebrow towards her, and was met with a shrug in response.
"They weren't what they were cracked up to be, dess."
He straightened in his chair slightly, peering over the edge of the desk at her slen-streamlined form.
"...Where, exactly, did they all go?"
She blinked at him, bemused.
"What do you mean?"
"A Dreadclaw Assault Boat is more than ten meters in length and five in diameter."
She blinked at him again.
"And?"
He could feel a migraine emerging, but he pressed on.
"You are a little over one and a half meters tall." he said, gesturing to the gir-ship in front of him.
She nodded, slowly, as though she didn't see where he was going with this. Hell, she probably didn't know where he was going with this.
"So…where did they go?"
She stared at him over the rim of her teacup for a time, confused. Eventually a thought occurred to her.
"Oh, you wanted to see the battle damage!" she not-quite shouted as she leapt to her feet.
He really didn't want to see that.
"I really didn't mean-"
"It's okay, Teitoku!" she again not-quite shouted as she lifted the hem of her shirt and began pointing out some patches of smooth ski-hull that were paler than the others.
"The Terminators entered Here, Here, and Here dess! They made a bit of a mess, then a lance hit Here and exposed them to KONGOU'S BURNING LOVE! The heretics entered here-"
He managed to snap his gaze back up to her-its face, already filing the official explanation for the size difference into the 'it just fraking works' section of his report.
"Speaking of which, that was a nasty hit to your Plasma vents. Are you sure you are cleared for duty?"
She shrugged, pouting slightly as her…detailed explanation was interrupted.
"It's fine, dess. My techpriests have cleared me for duty."
Wait, what?
"...Your techpriests."
"Yep."
"... What's wrong with our techpriests?"
She shrugged, lowering herself back into her chair.
"They're not very good at detail work, teitoku. They just do sloppy patching and then my engineseers have to remove them and fix it anyways."
He picked up another dataslate and paged through it for a bit.
"I don't believe I have your techpriests in the lists," he said. "If I could meet them, we could transfer the others to ships-"
"He's right here, dess!"
He looked up at her and felt whatever words he had been forming die in his throat.
Standing on his desk was a small figure, scarcely 10 centimeters tall, cartoonishly proportioned and leaning on a tiny skull-and-cog tipped staff. It stared back at him, a pale green light shining from the dark recesses of its hood as tiny mechandrites twitched and stirred under its crimson robes. Slowly it raised a tiny hand and with a metallic echo, it spoke.
"Dess!"
He stared at it for a few seconds, then slowly shifted his gaze to her. She gave him a wide smile and an encouraging nod in response.
He settled back in his chair, collecting his thoughts. Then he picked up the dataslate and regarded the figure once more.
"Name and Rank?"
The tiny figure let out another machine-garbled 'Dess!' as it raised its staff and tapped the base on the desktop. He blinked in confusion as the dataslate's screen turned fuzzy with static before resolving itself into a full crew compliment listing for the Imperial Battlecruiser Kongou.
He turned back to the tiny techpriest, now stiff backed and almost glowing with digital pride.
He picked up his teacup and regarded the liquid inside with suspicion.
"...Perhaps something a bit harder, Teitoku? And more alcoholic?"
"Please."