AN: This is something I started years ago as a follow-up to 'Stuck On You'. It never materialised but reading it now I can see with a little tweak or two it can stand alone...unedited...do forgive the edges!

SUMMARY: Jack has a wobbly awakening after an accident leaves him with a head injury and all morphined up! Early S1 Jack/Daniel/Teal'c/Janet, infirmary humour/team fic. Sam is there too, just not consciously. K rated. Possible follow up to 'Stuck On You'.


The Bird In The Room


The infirmary was warm and the morphine was making him feel good. Normally he did not like being under the influence of pain medication but things were different this time round. He was having the most wonderful fantasy and he did not want it to end. Sam Carter had just kissed him. He reached out to her and she disappeared. Well not disappeared exactly more transformed. Her hair got darker and longer and she was wearing glasses, 'What the...'

"Hey Jack, you back with us yet?" Daniel Jackson inquired.

"Muffle, duffler dor."

"Ah, that would be a no then." He looked over his shoulder and called across the room at the Doctor who was doing paperwork at the Nurse's Station. "Janet I think he's waking up."

What the hell was Not-Carter shouting for? He was fine. 'I'm better than fine.' he told Not-Carter. Then he realised he was not actually speaking. "Gack." he said, trying to bring the attention back to himself. His hands, as he swung them up got heavy and unexpectedly crash-landed on his chest.

Jackson blinked a little before speaking patronisingly slow. "Yes...that's right...you...are Jack."

What the hell was he talking about, of course he knew he was Jack, moron. 'I'm not trying to say Jack.' he tried to shout at him but all that came out clearly was "Not Jack."

"You're not?"

"Carter?" he asked and his eyelids drifted shut as her image once again appeared in front of his glazed-over expression.

Daniel dropped back in his seat and stared disbelievingly at the manically grinning man before him. "Huh?" He was so perturbed that he jumped when Janet dropped her hand onto his shoulder.

"So you think he's coming round?" she asked quietly.

"Um, sort of."

"Has he said anything yet?"

"Just that he is not Jack."

Janet leaned round a little further so she could get a proper look at Daniel's face. "I'm sorry, what?"

Beside the Doctor a giant shadow moved forward. "Colonel O'Neill is of the belief that he is Captain Carter."

Janet Frasier could not help it, she burst out laughing. "You guys are kidding right?"

"Ah, nope. His exact words were 'Not Jack. Carter.' So you tell me?"

Janet looked to Teal'c. He nodded his head, completely dead-pan serious. "Well he is in on a lot of pain meds." she offered trying to give her superior the benefit of the doubt, but Daniel was suddenly laughing hysterically.

From the bed Jack demanded an answer more forcefully. "Carter!" he tried to bark out. They were all laughing at him but he could not see what was so funny. He wanted to know how his 2IC was...where his 2IC was! He could remember now that they had both been trapped in a rockfall and then he dreamed he had kissed her. Suddenly he felt as though he was kissing her again and slumped back on the bed.

Janet sighed and shook her head, suddenly understanding her patient's need. "I thought you guys would have been better at deciphering drug addled Jack by now. He's asking how Captain Carter is." Janet moved close to the bed and waited for Jack to open his eyes again. When they did they ranged all over the room. To help focus his attention she placed her hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly. "Colonel? Colonel O'Neill, Sir?"

Slowly Jack found his focus on the person calling his name. It was Janet Frasier. "Doc?" he asked, his mind a little clearer...even with the purple butterflies around the Doc's head. The rest of his words were still stuck somewhere.

"She fine Colonel, Captain Carter is in the bed next to you." She pointed to his left.

It took a moment but she watched as he slowly turned his head and looked over at her. He was reaching his hand out towards her. Janet frowned, that was new and odd behaviour, Jack O'Neill never openly displayed that level of concern for his fellow officers. But then again, highly traumatic experiences, serious head injuries and morphine did tend to make for some odd patient behaviour. She decided that his reaching for his second in command was not such a bad thing...unless of course he was trying to get out of the bed. "Colonel O'Neill, you can not get up yet. You are not well enough."

"Hrrumph." said Jack and lifted himself onto one elbow. He needed to see Carter for himself and fluffy yellow hair was not cutting it. That could have been Big-Bird for all he knew. He paused for a moment at the thought of Big-Bird in the SGC infirmary, it made him chuckle. He lay back down forgetting what he was trying to do. "Big-Bird!" he sang out between sudden painful roils of laughter.

"Ah, yeah sure Jack, Big-Bird. What's he talking about?"

"Oh the lord only knows Daniel. I think we should leave them be for a while. If he gets over-stimulated I'll have to put him under again because he never stays put and I don't want to have to do that."

"As you wish Doctor Frasier." Teal'c immediately rose. He had great respect for the Tiny Warrior-Doctor. Her skills and strengths were many and if she considered leaving her patients in peace would help, he would not hesitate to comply.

Janet and Daniel blinked after the quickly retreating Jaffa. Jackson shrugged. "Coffee?" he asked the doctor.

"Oh yes please Daniel!"

"After you Janet."

Jack rolled more fully over onto his side and stared at the fluffy yellow bird in the room. He grinned stupidly. "I loves you Yeller Berd...I mean Berder...Barter...best 2IC ever!"

Carter on the other hand continued to have her own weird morphine dreams!

END


AN: Ha..well...rough and tumble...thoughts?