It was a common saying that when you find your soulmate, you will see mystic light shine upon them. That It was that very information that Moritz Steifiel dreaded his entry life. He never liked the idea that you can't control who you fall in love with, but who does? Moritz never had a simple life when he was 15 he became suicidal from his home life and the stress from the education system, plus growing up in a very religious home didn't help. When he was 15 everything went downhill sure this curse of growing up and developing new feelings and desires was hell. having restless nights dreaming about unspeakable things, that was even worse for young Moritz. He remembered when he just turned 15 and he came to school half asleep, speaking to his old childhood friend Melchior about his nightmares. Melchior would only laugh at him saying that "It is normal." But for moritz it wasn't. though he had dreams about girls, he had some dreams about the same sex as well, which kept him up in fear. It wasn't right he thought. His father always said so. He surpassed those feelings as much as he could back then, until one day Melchior Gabor had to reminded him with his touches. Will technology it was Melchoir guiding his hands, teaching him how to realize his tension. Saying that "It's natural we all do it. Here I'll show you."
Those sexual confusing moments in Moritz Steifiel's life did not help his mental stability, but how was Melchior supposed to know that his friend struggled with his own sexuality?
But that isn't the main reason that made Moritz have a gun in his hands while the sunsets, it was the abuse from his home, the fact he failed the grade. The fact that Ilsa invited him to be with her, and his fear of hell creeped in. it was the near end of spring when he attempted to commit suicide. His hands were shaking, forehead sweating, heart beating the darkness of the night pulled him in. he placed the gun within his mouth. He pulled the trigger but he sound caught him off guard that came from trees. And the gun slipped away from his target the gun was fired and it hit his left shoulder. The sound was echoing through the corn fields and forests. His weeping of utter pain more so, he heard someone yell, and he passed out.
After that incident happened Moritz was forced to move into his aunt's house for the summer. His family did not want to make this ordeal public. They didn't want shame to loom over their family so they kept most things quiet for the most part. After being in the hospital for a few weeks, his aunt decided the best thing for him is to go to summer school so he can catch up to his grade. Moritz did not mind summer school. In the contrary. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed living with his aunt. She was kinder to him then his father ever could be. He liked the fact he could clear his head for an entire summer without thinking about uncomfortable things. Like Melchior. And when I say uncomfortable things I mean. Ever since that whole "I'll show you how to ease your wet dreams." incident, Moritz would only have constant dreams about Melchior. He felt guilty at night for thinking of him. But during the day his thoughts were more innocent. Like "I wonder what he is doing right now?" he was missing his best friend. They would usually hang out all summer long. But a sense of dread creeped into Moritz thoughts. He had heard that Wendla and him had gotten together. Which was inevitable they both were beautiful, had the same political views, they were the perfect couple no doubt about that. Moritz felt happy for Melchior, but at the same time he felt jealous. Which tormented Moritz even more at night. When the summer finally ended he had passed his failed classes and it was time for him to move back to his father's. He had lived away from his hometown for two months at least. An even though he missed all his friends, the rivers, the corn fields. He was anxious and afraid to see his father again. His aunt told him to call on her anytime he likes. The thought made him smile, but will that really be the case? Neither the less he was going home. And in his heart he was scared yet thrilled to see Melchior again.
Moritz first day back at his father's house was okay to say the least. His father had talked how he usually talked with a stern disappointed tone. Though Moritz could tell he was putting a little effort into his attitude, he knew that everything would be completely the same after awhile. His father only asked a couple of question when they ate dinner together. Questions like. "How was summer school?" "your test grade could have been a higher." only the typical school related questions. Moritz was quite most of the time he had to be careful with his words. One slip up that might sound less manly, or less intelligent. Would leave both Moritz and his father with a bitter taste in their mouths. Moritz's room had not changed since he had left. Still the same bed spread, curtains books that were untouched and glazed with dust. his wooden floors were cold from the open window, he wondered how long his window was open for. Did his father ever enter his room? He hardly thinks so. A nice cool summer wind blow through his window, he missed the smell of these those lonely spring nights before summer had taken him. He lied on his bed without getting his normal clothing off. He knew either way he will be wearing that school uniform that brought back way too many memories. He fell vastly asleep of the sound of the wind that echoed through his room. That made the house crack with sounds. When he was young he was afraid of those sounds. his mother would calm him saying that the house was singing. That was has ridiculous as the whole "A light shines on your soulmate." thing, but a singing house seemed more probable. Before he drifted into sleep he prayed that no one would ask him to many questions when he wakes up and goes to school, he wanted to pretend that nothing happened. And his dreams continued to haunt him.