Melchior had, well let's say a interesting rest of a weekend when Moritz left his house. On Saturday night he had the oddest dream about being swallowed whole into a patch of flowers. He woke up abruptly, not knowing how long has been since he had a nightmare. He eventually fell back asleep, and then he had a different kind of "Dream" He was in his Latin class room with Moritz. And they were kissing passionately against the shock bored. His hands touching Moritz body. Breathing heavily on his neck. Hearing him sigh in pleasure. It was apparent that he was having a wit dream. He woke up feeling Different , he was a mess. (In more ways than one)
Feeling this unwanted and new type of shame. Something that Melchior has never felt before in his life. He never was ashamed of sexuality. Masturbation of anything in the sort. This shame was different. He felt embarrassed and guilty that he had a wit-dream about his best friend. That had gone through tough times with his father, and was probably the most awkward and goofy human being he had ever known. But ever since the party, when Moritz kissed Melchior. Had been feeling so usually. He had never felt to oddly attracted to Moritz. Well that is a lie. He always sort of was. That was discovered when he had taught Moritz to touch himself in middle school, and after that it was already pretty weird. But now it was different. Or maybe it was the feeling that Melchior had felt for Wendla. He didn't want to think about it. He knew full well that the reason Wendla and him aren't together was completely his fault. He was going too fast, and she let him. They could blame parents, but he knew that wasn't the case. He was utterly shaken by the idea that he would ruin everything with Moritz like he did with Wendla. Though they are still friends, everything really had shifted. Maybe it because they were so young? Or maybe it was truly just Melchior bizarre view on love. He was afraid to even admit he was in-love with his best friend. "What does that say about my character?" nevertheless school came around, he had high hopes that everything would go back to normal and he could dismiss this developing feelings for Moritz. But alsa he was proven wrong by his own emotions. He started noticing little things about Moritz that he hardly noticed before. Like how Moritz smiles with his eyes so intensely. Of his dimple when he is thinking intently. How he sighs quietly to himself when is daydreaming. His clumsiness that can only be described as cute. "Ah! I hate this!"
Everything about his friend was becoming attractive to him, and he was suffering every second of it. He had noticed that Moritz was staring at him in class when he looked back Moritz was hiding his face in some sort of embarrassment. Is Moritz feeling this tension too?" Melchior did not want to delude himself and start jumping to conclusions, but in the back of his mind he was hoping that he wasn't the only one suffering with these new found feelings. He acted in the outside that everything was fine, he was good at that. Controlling his feelings. But in the inside he was getting butterflies just thinking about him. But now he had a dance to worry about. He knew that Moritz hated dances, he would often go to them for just the sake of it. But he never enjoyed himself, that could be maybe because he never had a date.
Jenny a blonde girl is pretty, and as popular then he is. hinting to him that she wanted to go with him, so he asked her. For the sake of forgetting about his strange feelings for Moritz. He was ready to forget all about this, "Love is useless, I'm just not good at it... He deserves better"
Moritz slept better than he had expected, well rested but still in a daze of worry when his thoughts cleared up. He didn't know what he was worried about in specific. His father? The dance? The pamphlet? There were to many things to choose from. He got ready for the day, and went to school. The whole Ilsa thing that had happened yesterday, made him feel numb yet still more calm then he should be. He was relieved that someone knew of his troubles, he took comfort in that trust, he knew she wouldn't break. But still the memory laid heavy on his mind, he was over analyzing himself again, which made him more dizzy then usually, he didn't know how stupid he had to be to even pick up that pamphlet. He really regretted not just searching information that he wanted to know on the internet. He he implovly had to make things harder on himself. "Well at least my father won't find it " He prayed that would be the case at least.
School was school, another day of hell, another day of hiding his feeling for Melchior Gabor, he was glance at him more the unusually which made him discover that Melchior has been looking back. It wasn't his intention exposing himself. So he would play it off, with saying some odd comment now and then. Melchior didn't seem to mind. In fact, he was the one that would look at him for quite a bit and then start a conversation. Moritz was also laughing much more around his childhood friend. Everything seemed so funny to him so light. He felt like he was wearing rose-colored glasses and only saw the pure in his crush. He cringed at himself innerly a couple of times because of it. He hated how his laugh sounded, compared to Melchior's laugh it was no competition. At lunch they all sat once again at their usual spot, but Melchior wasn't there Moritz's curiosity sky rocketed and he questioned his disappearance
"Where is Melchior?"
Ernst raised his eyebrows and giggled "He was talking to his date for the dance."
Moritz heart fell to his stomach, he knew he had one already, but still hearing it, made things so painful for him. Ilsa luckily saved the awkward and depressing silence
"So Ernst, who are you going with?"
He blushed looking at Hanschen. Hanschen was not one to be optimistic with anyone but Ernst. When his Ernst was around he seemed much more friendlier. After he stopped flirting with everyone else but Ernst, and sucked in his pride he asked him to dance at his party, which led them to kiss, to make out, you get the picture. So it wasn't a surprise when he indeed, confronted with a smug smile while sitting close to Ernst, that he was in fact going to the dance with him, weather the school liked it or not. "We will make the dance much more interesting with our company" Ernst smiled wildly and nodded. Moritz was feeling envious of their so open and proud affections for each other, he wanted to puke.
"The school won't like that one bit." Otta said beside Ilsa.
"No they certainly won't" Ilsa hummed in a gleeful tone. "It will be fun, no?"
"Absolutely" Melchior said behind Moritz abruptly. Which made Moritz jump out of his skin, and yelp out loud, putting his hand on his jest. Melchior started laughing really hard. Which made Moritz heart beat even faster. "Such a beautiful laugh" he thought to himself while feeling embarrassed in the same time. His laugh became more faint, and Melchior coughed out his words through his soft laughter. "Did I scare you?" Moritz was feeling this lightness about his breath, Melchior truly looked like a Greek statue, perfect in every expression and angle, even now when he was suffering with these feelings and embarrassment, he was chuckling with him "Yes" he breathed. Melchior patted his shoulder, and sat awfully close to him, "Moritz you really are cute sometimes" Moritz eyes widen, he became beat red, and everyone noticed. Melchior did too, and correct himself, in the most broish and stupidest way he could, and he hated himself for it. He laughed and said in a sort of none-telling sarcastic tone "No homo" which made Hanschen cringe innerly, and Melchior cringe openly. Moritz chuckled, trying to keep the joke going so he wouldn't explode, his coping mechanism for this very situations was trying to contain himself with sass, so he just rolled his eyes. "Right" this made Melchior raise his eyebrow and respond with "Okay, yes homo" Moritz lightly pushed his shoulder, smirking, trying to keep the appearance that this whole conversation wasn't bothering him one bit. And across the table both Ilsa and Hanschen looked at each other as like they were reading each others mind. And they were, Ilsa's eyes were saying " Holy hell, that was very flirtatious wasn't?" and Hanschen's eyes were saying " a little too flirty if you ask me" They were correct in their possible statements. Melchior Gabor was naturally a charmer. In other words he was "Flirtatious" to everyone, it was just the way he spoke. And yes Melchior was always jokingly flirtatious with Moritz in the past, hell even Moritz played along, but this was different. It was a little too touchy, and little too flirtatious. Maybe it was because Moritz was in love with him, that it seemed that way to both Ilsa and Henschen, but they knew it was something maybe Moritz's feelings weren't really one-sided.
They all started talking again, and everything seemed comfortable fine, Ilsa would call him over and whisper in his ear and talk to him quietly, "How are you keeping up?" she whispered "He would smile gently, and shrug. She smiled like a wild child. And made many inside jokes with him during lunch to each other, she did this mostly to help him not think about his troubles, and to see if it would make Melchior jealous, which it did. At least in her perspective they would make jokes and laugh close, and Ilsa would noticed him looking intently in their direction, often after striking a conversion or a observation to Moritz so his attention would be on him " He doesn't like it when Moritz doesn't focus on him" she smiled to herself. What really gave it away. Was when Melchior mentioned the girl that he was going to the dance with saying that she is quite beautiful, and smart too. And how he was just talking to her before he got the the table. Moritz winced within every word and Ilsa tried her best to make him not depressed " Melchior is a idiot"
Ilsa could even feel Ernst catching on, on their thoughts that is, or Henschen told him, either way they all were sighing, expect for George, Otto and Anna that were in the far side of the table listening intently to Melchiors drabble.
Lunch ended and both Melchior and Moritz were heading to their next class Latin. As soon as Moritz sat down and Melchior the seat next to his, he had a uneasy feeling in his stomach, it was anxiety, but also something more than that, like he knew that something very dreadful was going to happen any minute now. The teacher Mr. Knochenbruch was there writing on the shock board but it seemed that he wasn't going to wait until everyone was signed in attendance, he began, and quited down the class, a starn man, that always was too opinionated to be a teacher. He cleared his throat after all the young teens were seated and settled down, his eyes burning in annoyance and full of questioning. Everyone in this point was scared of the teacher, everyone always was. Expect for Melchior of course, who could easily been fearing his teacher but hide it to seem much like hatred. Mr. Knochenbruch reached into his blazer pocket and unfolded a front of the class a pamphlet. And low in behold it was Moritz's that he had lost the other day. Moritz Throat became dry and itchy. His breathing was coarsely ill. He wanted to disappear.
"Student before he start out lesson today, I want you too tell me what this is."
Hanschen in the back raised his hand in somewhat of interest where this is going to lead.
"It's a pamphlet sir"
"Yes, that is obvious, but what kind?"
"Of the looks of it a pamphlet about many different types of sexuality? Gender Identity so forth."
"Thank you Mr. Rilow." Henschen calmed into his seat, noticing from afar Moritz discomfort. He made a mental note that Moritz was most likely behind this ,and that he was a idiot holding that in his possession, outside and inside of school, knowing his family life.
The teacher continued "I find it inappropriate to have possession of such of thing, it does not belong here". Melchior rolled his eyes while his teacher was going on a tangent about something as simple as a pamphlet, that is none of his business, he repeated "Bla, bla bal" Too Moritz, which didn't help his panic attack.
"Yes sir" he said sharply ripping away from his mockery that he had joked with his friend
"I do not like being disrupted in class, stand up!" Melchior stood up slowly and straightened his back.
"Since you love sharing your opinion so much, while don't you answer me my question?" the teacher said smugly with a cold tune. Melchior smirked "Sure"
"What do you think? Is it morally wrong for one in the same sex to lay together?"
The room was silent waiting for Melchior response. Moritz feeling sweat within his shirt dripping down his chest, holding his breath hoping that this moment would pass quickly.
Melchior breathed, and said clearly
"Before? Or after marriage?"
"I can't believe you're suspended from going to the dance.." Moritz sighed
"Well, It's not like it's the last one. Plus it was worth it seeing the look on his face."
He chuckled and slightly touched his shoulder
"What I can't believe is that I would suspend for just making a small remark, question even.
"Melchi.. our school is just not the place for difference. It's backward.."
Melchior rolled his eyes. And laughed it off.
"How did your date react? When she heard that you can't take her?"
"Oh she was furious, that I was so reckless or whatever. I do feel bad i admit"
"I would too"
Melchior lightly punched his arm, "Hey, don't make me seem like a villain. I find that Mr. Knochenbruch was way out of the wrong, too even make it a discussion. He had no right to do so, plus he probably was going around to all of his classes and asking that annoying question, thinking he might find the clopert." Moritz was in loss of words, he wanted to badly to tell Melchior that it was his, that he was dealing with these feelings. And why not? Melchior was his best friend. Why should he not tell him everything?
I'm a cowered
Moritz breathed and smiled pretended that this whole thing wasn't a big deal to him "Well If you're not going, i'm not going"
"What? Don't miss out on the dance because I can't go."
"Like you said it isn't the last one. Plus I don't have a date.."
"Then ask someone." He teased. Moritz laughed sarcastically "Right"
"Well then, this only means that we must make a night of it."
Moritz looks to him in confusion. Melchior smiled with his teeth and continued "Let's just hang out, you'll stay the night, we watch some movies, sneak out and explore, you know all that fun indie movie kinda stuff.:"
Moritz in the first time felt like all his nervousness was a distant memory, he felt like it was like the old times, he smiled genuinely, and laughed "Like a indie movie? You gotta be kidding?"
Melchior started to laugh as well looking flushed "I thought it was a clever comparison." the laugh dissipated when they finally had to part ways, In all truth when Melchior saw his friend genuinely smile, his heart skipped two beats, it was like a mystical light shined on him, making his compilation poetic beautiful. Which made him want to stab himself.
"Maybe missing the dance isn't so bad after all."