353Disclaimer – I own nothing, am not making a profit from anything related to Labyrinth, all original characters are owned by Henson et al.
~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK
"Confound that blasted film," shouted Jareth, as he kicked a goblin clear through the throne room window.
"YAYYY," cheered the rest of the goblins, raising their tankards to the King.
"That is the second runner this week, what is wrong with these girls? Did they not get the subtext? One would think I had nothing better to do, such as run a Kingdom," Jareth pushed his gloved hand through his pale blonde hair in keen frustration.
"Calm yourself Sire, surely the upsurge in believers from Above are beneficial to the Underground, they used to give you much amusement, what has changed?" Sir Didymus asked.
'That is all well and good, but since the release of that film, the runners have increased to an unmanageable number and not all the children being wished away are unwanted. One girl tried to wish away her cat, A CAT, Didymus! The unmitigated shame of being demoted from fearful ruler to teenage bad boy pin-up has made me the laughing stock of the Underground!"
"What do you propose to do Sire? You cannot ignore a call," Sir Didymus said.
"Quite," Jareth frowned. "But maybe, under the circumstances, I can tinker with the parameters of the game." Jareth suddenly grinned mischievously, a plan forming in his mind. "Sir Didymus, you are in charge until my return."
"What?" the fox terrier gulped, looking around at the chaos abounding in the throne room. "Ah, how long will thou be gone Sire?"
''It depends," Jareth replied.
"Sire?"
"On how long it takes me to convince the Oracles to re-write the rule book," and with an explosion of glitter, the King disappeared.
"Oh dear," Sir Didymus shook his be-whiskered head.
~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK
"What brings you here, Goblin King?" a deep voice rumbled through the shadows.
Jareth bowed his head towards the four, faceless, cloaked figures sitting on thrones of stone.
"I come seeking your counsel, Gailbraith. As you are aware there has been a significant increase in the number of runners since the Williams girl spread her tales to the Aboveground," Jareth began.
"Ah yes, the Labyrinth has benefited from the sheer volume of belief and dreams being channelled to it," Gailbraith replied.
"Yes, well be that as it may, the number of challengers have become so significant that my position is becoming untenable. As the Champion was foolish enough not to change the words that would summon me, I have to respond to each and every call made. I need not point out the ridiculousness of some of the wishes," Jareth growled. "And thanks to the rules and her success, I was not able to wipe her memory like I have done for the other runners."
"The Champion believes she dreamt the entire episode, she cannot be blamed for her folly. It is your failure that has brought about your current situation. Fortunately for you it is a situation that has brought benefit to the Labyrinth, otherwise you would have found yourself in a much less desirable circumstance Goblin King," Gailbraith retaliated, his tone turning sinister.
"I propose a solution Gailbraith. Due to the success of that film, belief in the Underground has become strong and consistent. I merely suggest we change the words required to summon me," Jareth said.
"The re-writing of the words is no small undertaking Goblin King, this you well know and as such cannot be done without the agreement of the High Council," Gailbraith said.
"But it can be done, can it not?" Jareth pressed.
Gailbraith paused, conferring with his brethren without the use of words. After a few moments Gailbraith addressed the young Fae.
"Yes Goblin King, it is indeed possible. Come back to us once you have secured the agreement of the High Council and we will assist you with your task."
~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK
"What, this is ridiculous!" Jareth shouted, outraged at the High Council's audacity.
"Come, come Jareth, we see this as a perfectly reasonable request for such a serious proposal," the High King responded, smiling at his youngest child's tantrum.
"You are using this as an opportunity to coerce me into giving you and mother grandchildren, not as a means of stabilising my kingdom," Jareth snapped.
"Three hundred years sitting on that throne and you have not undertaken a formal courtship. Questions are being raised as to your commitment to the succession. Surely someone has taken your fancy in that time?" Jareth's mother asked.
"Yes but that didn't quite go to plan, not for want of trying to impress," Jareth grumbled. "I will not prostitute myself to all the successful runners of the Labyrinth, it is degrading and quite frankly not all of them were women, so the succession is a moot point on this one."
"Hear me well Goblin King," the High King thundered, finally out of patience. "If you wish the summons rewritten you will choose a queen from the successful runners of the Labyrinth. A mortal bride will provide you with a sufficient number of heirs before they become full fae and you will have a Goblin Queen approved by the Labyrinth. Those are our terms." The High Council all nodded in agreement.
"Bugger!" muttered the Goblin King.
~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK
Jareth arrived back at the castle, on approaching his throne his steward, Tariq, rushed in.
"Sire what news? Sir Didymus informed me you were petitioning the Oracles, but that was yesterday!" Tariq asked.
"We're doomed Tariq. The Oracles will not act without permission from the High Council, and they will not grant said permission unless I marry a successful runner to ensure the succession," Jareth sighed.
"Oh," Tariq said his brow drawn in thought. "Hang on, how many successful female runners have there been since the Champion?"
"I believe the number currently sits at ten, including her stubbornness," Jareth groused. "Just how am I supposed to go about this? Pay a visit to them all complete with flowers and chocolates? 'Hello my girl, fancy a life of immortality surrounded by a pack of unruly cretins. Don't worry about the décor, chicken shit washes out! No, really, are you sure I cannot tempt you?'" Jareth stated, waving his arms around to encompass the feather littered throne room.
The steward observed his King pacing around, carefully selecting the next goblin to defenestrate.
"I've got it!" Tariq answered. "A contest!"
"What?" Jareth glanced up at his servant.
"A contest, let them compete for your favour. Immortality is nothing to sniff at, mortals are all into the forever thing thanks to all those vampire movies," Tariq started, growing more enthused with his idea as each second passed. "The Goblins have been going on about a reality TV show 'Bachelor of Love' or something, where a mortal rock star gets to choose a mate from a selection of young ladies. They have to undertake tasks and compete against each other to obtain his affection."
"Really?" the Goblin King asked, an eyebrow raised. Being Fae, Jareth loved games and the idea of a contest with him as the prize began to tickle his tricky fancy. "A contest. Yes, I can see that working. It will also give me ample opportunity to humiliate all those irritating wenches who have wasted my time. What an excellent idea Tariq!" Jareth grinned wickedly, rubbing his hands together as he began to plan.
"Thank you Sire," Tariq beamed.
"First, bring me copies of this television programme so I can assess a strategy. Also, bring me dossiers on each of the successful female runners, including the Champion. I don't want to be bringing any girls here who have already settled and started families of their own," Jareth instructed.
"Yes Sire, straight away," Tariq bowed and hurried to do his King's bidding.
Well well well, thought Jareth. This could work out to my advantage after all. I not only get to change the summons, but also have the opportunity to exact retribution on each and every one of those girls who beat my Labyrinth. Starting no less with the infuriating but delicious Sarah Williams. Oh yes, let the games commence!
Tariq heard his master's deep cackle vibrating off the castle walls. A strange sense of foreboding dawned upon him.
Maybe he should have thought through his idea to the King, these poor girls won't know what hit them!
~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK
Character List:
Sarah Williams – currently twenty-four years of age, single, workaholic, foul mouthed
Jareth, Goblin King – vainglorious, sometimes single, conniving and clever, but vain
Tariq – GK's Steward, professional, courteous but terrified of upsetting his boss
Hoggle – Dwarf, getting on a bit, well-meaning but selfish by nature
Sir Didymus – clever, sees the bigger picture, chivalrous and loyal, which causes him some conflicts of interest due to his current employer
Couric – a Fae Noble and friend to the GK, always has an angle to play, epitome of a fae, lives like a bachelor but never lonely
Galen - a Fae Noble and friend to the GK and Couric's sidekick. Renowned for his terrible high pitched girly laugh
Elise - an Elf and owner of the Pleasure Meadow club
Kermit and Miss Piggy - two goldfish that were wished away and are now Jareth's pets.
The Labyrinth Winners:
Chun Ng – aka JC Penny. From Hong Kong, lives in LA, Astro-Physicist, very clever, wished away her dog when drunk to meet the GK.
Shante Latimore – aka The Man-eater. From Connecticut. Overtly sexual, determined but lazy, relies on her assets to get what she wants, but she is not stupid.
Crystal Hudson – aka Blondie. Canadian PR Advertising Executive. Smart, love games and puzzles, resourceful, attractive.
Katherine (Kitty) Farthingale – aka Squeaky. Australian born Filipino, Seventeen-years old, works with children. A bit scatty and naive.
Rhiannon Cherry – aka Freckles. Irish, works for the British Civil Service as a Trade Negotiator. Commercially driven.
Sabine Lennear – French. Can take a grudge a bit too far, wished her boss away as he got on her nerves.
Darla Foxe – American college graduate. Lots of debt and a disappointing life, sees the Underground and marriage to the GK as a sweet deal.
Jaime Barnett – aka Walmart. Fan of all things occult and obsessed with the idea of immortality. Sees hooking up with a fae as her ticket to eternal life.
Susan Briggs - The only other Winner to wish away a child apart from Sarah. She is in effect Sarah's wing man and finds Jareth about as attractive as a Creepy Uncle. She is playing the part of a competition contestant so Jareth doesn't take her brother back, to spite her unwillingness to be there.