Hello, as most of you probably know it is #Darveyweek and Ana (donnaspecter here on FF) and me have been planing a fic collab for a long time and we thought that our view and wishes for 6.01 would be perfect for that.
It started with a funny conversation on how it would look like since the episode is supposed to parallel a little with a movie "The breakfast club" and we took that as our main inspiration. Further we decided to split the fic in two parts after Korshy described the episode with "that goddamn night" and "Long time coming". Both of which are now the titles to our two part fic.
This is the first part, and the second will be posted on Ana' s account on the 10th of July (#SarahSunday).
As always we really hope you enjoy our fic and we'd love to know what you think. xx
That Goddamn Night
Her gaze roams through the empty bull pin, the image of Mike working there feeling just like yesterday even though it has been over a year since he last sat there. She's faced with the harsh reality of it all as she spots the two entering the room from the other direction. The man she's called her boss until very recently and the woman that had given her a chance when she shouldn't have gotten one. She knows that now.
"They're all gone," the voice of the managing partner echoes through the once crowded room, now her broken voice the only thing filling in the space.
She swallows, hearing Louis add how it's just us now. "Us," she repeats softly as she looks down at her hand, there's more than one person missing in that equation, but right now all she can think of is him. Harvey.
The three of them make their way through the remains of what once used to be the top firm in Manhattan. The route she walked day in and day out has never felt as strange as it does now. Neither of them speak, it's silent but not uncomfortable. Four glasses of scotch being poured, one remains on the table for the man that isn't here. Not yet, but she has called him.
Her gaze descends to the glass in her hand, she lets the auburn liquid turn around in it. Looking at the other untouched tumbler on the coffee table and she wonders if she's where she needs to be. Her best friend just having lost her fiancé, she wonders if she should be with her. But Rachel was with her parents and to be honest she isn't entirely sure she can mentally be there for her now. She sighs still looking at the glass, because she also knows he will need her and if she'd allow herself to think what or who she needs now it's his name that comes to mind.
She tells herself it's the silence of the office around her that makes her hear the ding of the elevator, even over the unexpected laughter that comes from the other two in the room. She tells herself it's the echoing of his shoes on the floor that she knows he's here and not this gut feeling, but it's all of the above.
Her head slowly turns to the right spotting him standing there. His shoulders hanging low, his hands buried in his pockets and a frown on his face. She's never seen him so defeated and she swallows as his eyes meet hers. The presence of the name partner and Donna's movement doesn't go unnoticed to the others. "Harveeey," Louis chirps, his glass raised in the air, a few droplets of scotch falling over the edge.
She just sees him swallow, shaking his head as he walks off. She lifts herself up, raising her left hand before the managing partner even gets a chance to speak. "I'll go to him," she mumbles out loud, more convincing herself that she's doing this than the others. Lifting the untouched glass from the table she walks to his office.
He lets out a muffled scream, pulling his jacket from his shoulders and throwing it to the table on his left. It's a small way of letting out his anger. He could smash everything to pieces, but it's not what Mike, Donna or anyone would want him to do. He lets himself fall down in one of his chairs, pushing the sleeves of his dress shirt up his arms, his head leaning against the palm of his hand.
She studies him for a second, lingering in the doorway with the two glasses of scotch in her hand. Trying to find words to say to him, but there just aren't words to describe how shitty this situation is and they've been through a lot together. "I know you're there," his words breaking the silence, but he doesn't look up or over his shoulder towards her. Pinching his nose he just waits for her to say something.
She can't help it, but the tiniest smile creeps up on her lips as she hears his words and she can't deny how his behaviour towards her has changed since she came back. She walks towards him, sitting herself down on the left side of the couch, near him. Her eyes meeting his as he leans back in the black leather chair.
She extends her left hand with the glass towards him. The corners of her mouth tugging up as she waits for him to take it from her hand. "There's nothing to celebrate, Donna," his voice low and she can hear that same tone she heard a few days before. Guilt, responsibility and more. "I know," she nods, as she extends her hand a bit further until he takes the tumbler from her hand, his fingertips just brushing hers, but both ignore the moment that should have been insignificant, but wasn't.
Only when he takes a sip, she allows herself to do the same, cause those things he feels she feels them too. After all it was her who gave him that wink when Mike showed up and she never said or did anything to stop Harvey from hiring the kid when she found out. No one ever asked her, but she feels responsible too. "It's not your fault," she tells him again.
"I shouldn't be sitting here, drinking scotch," he shakes his head, but downing the glass none the less, a movement she mirrors as she studies him. Waiting for whatever he wants to say. "I should be finding a way to get him out of there and the firm," he pauses looking around, "fix the firm. Fix everything."
"You can fix the firm tomorrow," she whispers, not missing how he frowns when she doesn't speak about Mike. "Donna," he sighs his eyes closing for a second, but she can't hold back anymore. "Goddamn it, Harvey," her voice skips a beat, "it's one night. One goddamn night… you don't have to fix everything now. There's time."
"There is no time," he places his empty glass on the table, his hands falling around the arm rests as his jaw clenches, "it's make it or break it. This first night for him in there, that's all it takes to determine the rest of the period he's in there and I can't let things turn into shit even more for him."
"He doesn't want –"
"What? He doesn't want what?" he fires back, immediately regretting his tone with her as he lifts himself back on his feet. Pacing through the room, his head hanging low as he's standing behind the chair he just sat in. "He shouldn't have turned himself in."
She lets out a sigh, not even surprised they're having this conversation yet again. "Read," she whispers as she pulls a piece of paper from the pocket of her dress. His eyes trail down her arm to the folded note between her fingertips. "What's that?" he nods. "Mike gave it to me just before he went to talk to Rachel," she explains, "he asked me to give this to you."
She pulls her hand back when he doesn't answer or take the letter from her hand. Swallowing she unfolds the piece of paper, before she reads Mike's words out loud. "Harvey," she pauses looking at him, but all he does is close his eyes and nod. Signalling for her to continue.
"I know you're angry and even though you try to pretend you accepted my decision, I know you don't. You're either in bed with another nameless face, because you're too afraid to see what's been there right in front of you," she swallows briefly, but continues straight away. Not wanting to assume that that line was about her, but they both know better. "Or you're trying to find ways to get me out of here. Trying to fix my life, because you're too afraid to live your own," she still looks at the letter, afraid to meet his eye. Her hands are shaking a bit, impressed by how the pup had managed to figure him out just like she could.
"But that's just it," she continues, "This is my decision, my life and I won't be able to live with myself if I don't get to do this. I did this and I need to do this. I know you won't listen to it when I tell you that I don't want you to try and get me out, that's why I'm writing this. Please just let me do this."
She hears him letting out a sigh as she moves the piece of paper in her hand. "Thank you for everything you've done for me. You've given me the opportunity of a lifetime and I took it with both hands and I will never forget that. Please don't take this out on Rachel, give her the chance to become what I never really could. See you in two years," she swallows closing the letter as his eyes meet hers.
"Donna," he breathes pacing to his desk. "Don't be an ass, stop by some time," she finishes and it makes a laugh escape his lips. It's the first time she's heard that sound in what feels like forever and he notices it himself too. "Goddamn kid," he mumbles as he closes his desk drawer. A small plastic zip lock bag between his fingers, he lets out a sigh.
Her gaze drifts from his face to the bag with joints and back to his face. Her head crooked she doesn't question his actions, instead she waits for him to explain on his own. "Did you know Mike showed up with a briefcase stacked with weed when he walked into that hotel room?" he shakes his head as he recalls the memory. A small smile creeping up on his lips, his fingers fumbling with the little bag and lighter as he sits himself back down in the chair next to her.
He sees her shake her head and he looks down at the object in his right hand again. "This," he lifts his hand, "would have been for when we'd gotten him out." He scoffs, opening the bag as he mumbles something about how Mike got all of them out instead.
She studies his face, his hands. The way he's playing with the lighter in his one hand, the joint in his other, but he doesn't seem to have made up his mind yet. "Why did you hire him?" she asks then, bringing her right leg over her left she leans against the arm rest, her eyes locking with his as he explains how the kid beat him with quoting a law book.
She chuckles, looking away. "That I knew," she whispers looking at her hand that's tapping against the black leather, "but I meant why did you hire him knowing he never went to law school?"
He takes a deep breath, thinking about his answer his eyes flicker up to her briefly. There's more than one reason why he did it, one of the most obvious that he liked living on the edge, taking risks. But he also knows saying just that to her isn't going to do any good. Because you're afraid to risk anything.
He decides to go with the truth, "He reminded me of myself," he whispers then and his words surprise her. "I could say it was because I liked living on the edge, taking risks. Maybe even because Jessica made me hire someone in the first place, but I know now it wasn't just that. I saw a kid with potential, a person everyone would see as this screw up when all they needed was an opportunity no one ever gave them. And I did, like Jessica did for me."
His gaze lands on the small smile on her lips and his thumb presses the lighter once more, lighting the joint he brings it to his mouth. "Why didn't you stop me when you found out?" he asks then, taking a drag from the joint, before he blows out some smoke. "Because," she lets out a sigh, "because I thought it would help you. If you had to protect someone, that maybe it would make you care more," she swallows looking down.
He leans onto the right arm rest, his hand with the joint between his finger extended to her. "I always cared, Donna," he whispers offering her the joint. She looks up again, her eyes meeting his and she gives him a small smile at his words, because she knows that it's the truth.
She takes the smoking joint from his hand, bringing it to her lips her gaze never breaking his and she takes a drag causing her to cough immediately. He laughs, shaking his head but he still looks at her from the corner of his eyes. "What," she mumbles bringing the joint back to her lips, this time inhaling the smoke perfectly and his gaze lands on her lips and the way she blows out the smoke again makes him swallow.
"It's been a long time since I did this," she smiles, rolling her eyes as she studies the joint in her hand. He crooks his head, his eyes narrowing in on her as he leans towards her. "You?" he mumbles, stealing the joint from her, his hand brushing past hers again.
She nods and he gives her a smile suddenly wondering why they never did this before. "Coffee cart guy," she rolls her eyes pointing at the joint before she stretches her legs, kicking off her four inch heels. He just looks at her, sheepish smile on his face as he watches her pull her legs up on the couch and he mirrors her move by placing his feet on the table.
She can feel his eyes burning her skin and normally she wouldn't comment, but maybe it's the scotch and the weed or the fact that they've already lost so much, but she throws her head to the side. Her eyes locking with his, "what?" is all she whispers again as she watches him inhale once more, his tongue tracing his bottom lip as he mumbles, "nothing," as reply.
She looks away a small smile on lips as she lets her head rest against the palm of her hand. He quietly looks at her, neither of them noticing how the other name partners enter the office. "They would have been married," Donna chuckles letting out a sigh.
Harvey lets her words sink in, eventually nodding at the thought of Mike as married man. His attention being brought back to the present as he feels the joint being lifted from his hand. His eyes meeting those of the managing partner. "Sure help yourself."
"Don't mind if I do," Jessica counters, her voice a little high from the scotch she drank with Louis. She takes a drag from the joint as she moves to the chair across the table from him. Louis following her until he settles down next to Donna, who pulls her legs back and lets her feet rest on the table, accidentally tapping her toes against Harvey's shoes.
"It's the coffee cart guy," Jessica laughs as she passes the joint to Louis, "can't let you two have all the good stuff now, can I," placing her right leg over her left as she lets out a sigh. Eyeing the three others in the room around her she can't help but smile.
"I can't believe they could have been married now," Donna repeats again.
"Goddamn kid was the only one with someone to go home to," Jessica comments taking the joint from Louis hand again. "Unlike any of us."
It takes longer than normal to register the words, but maybe the true meaning comes to him easier this time. His head turning to the right he looks at her, his eyebrows raised he's asking her a question he couldn't pronounce. She presses her lips together, softly shaking her head as she lets her left arm fall down against the arm rest.
He swallows, nodding at her. The back of his hand brushing over her fingers he mouths an "I'm sorry," but she gives him a smile knowing he isn't and neither is she. It wasn't right to lead Mitchell on, knowing she was missing a lot from the 100% she should have been giving him. Her little finger hooks around his she looks at him and he gives her that signature smirk in return. It is far from what they usually do, but somehow, in that moment it felt right.
"He liked working for me better than working for you," Louis bursts out then and all three heads turn in his direction. Their hands untangle again, Donna just frowns at the man that was once her boss. Jessica chuckles, but knows she shouldn't pick sides and Harvey nervously taps his right hand against the arm rest. "He did like working for you Louis."
"Goddamn puppy," they all sigh in sync, the office falling into a comfortable silence after that.
"Mike and I were high when we came up with that solution to kick Daniel out," he laughs out loud then, shaking his head as he thinks back to that moment. "I'm glad you two got rid of that weasel, but why were you even stoned in the first place?" Jessica counters lighting a new joint.
Harvey lets out a sigh as he faces the managing partner. "His grandmother passed away," his jaw clenches, "and I went to check if he was okay. He was already stoned and I .. I just grabbed a joint and smoked it with him, drank a few beers and ate pretzels. I said something about what I wouldn't give to piss in that bastards office," he let out a laugh as Jessica raised her eyebrow challenging him. After all, she knew it hadn't been Louis' cat.
"That's why we ended up here at the firm that night. Stoned, Mike drank three Gatorades on the way over. Boy he was pissed when I told him it wasn't the right thing to do. He kept talking about how he was going to pee orange."
"Look at you, Specter," Jessica smiles, "stoned and responsible. But if you didn't end up in Hardman's office, how did you –"
"Find the solution? Well we were going to my office, to get the can opener," he looks at her from the corner of his eye and he sees her crook her head a smile plastered on her face, briefly shaking his own to let her know he didn't tell Mike the whole story. "That's when he stopped me from punching you in the face," he points at Louis who nods looking down, because he knew he was wrong. "I don't even know what you were doing there, but we wondered if you hid something in my office to get me fired. Weed," he laughs, "Mike then wanted to plant that in Hardman's office and yes Jessica I stopped him from doing that, but that's when we realised that Hardman wouldn't hesitate doing something like that to get rid of me."
"The memo," Donna whispers in a chuckle and Harvey crooks his head looking at her, because she normally didn't laugh at the mention of that particular moment. "The memo," he nods, briefly smiling at her, thinking about how she came back to him three times now. After the other time, after the memo and now, maybe the third time is a charm after all.
"That makes me feel guilty though," Donna whispers looking at her toes, "I pretended to be mad at him for a week so he'd bring me coffee every morning." Her words making him laugh out loud and she looks up to him, questioning his response. "That's just coffee," he counters, "you pretended to cry and made me agree to let your parents stay over at my condo."
Jessica looks up at the two across the table from her. The way their feet and hands are nearly touching, the looks both of them steal from time and time and a small smile forms on her lips, maybe this night could be good for something after all.
"I taught him how to drive," Louis comments then with a smile, making Donna look at her old boss. "The McKernon Motors case," Harvey nods. "Yeah," Louis let out a breath before he chuckles, "he even liked mudding."
"No one likes mudding, Louis," Harvey counters, tapping his foot on the rhythm of some imaginary song. "Donna and Rachel liked it," Louis answers back looking at his friend with a big smile, his hand falling on Donna's arm and she's momentarily unsure of where to look or what to say. Feeling Harvey's eyes burn her skin, until she concludes that that was a onetime thing.
The way he looks at the two on the couch already giving it away, but the sigh that followed clearly showing his jealousy. Jessica swallows, realising that it's up to her to steer this conversation back to the original topic. Reminiscing Mike. "He told me 'blacks don't crack' to my face once."
Donna laughs, her hand covering her mouth as she realizes how inappropriate her reaction is, but she can't stop herself from giggling as her eyes tear up. Louis coughs as he accidentally takes a too big a sip of his scotch. "Well it's true," Harvey smirks raising his shoulders, his comment resulting in a playful slap from Donna on the armrest as she misses his arm. The managing partner rolls her eyes at her own protégé, "he really could have been a kid of yours," she shakes her head, looking from Harvey to the redhead and back to the name partner. "Just as arrogant, stubborn and an under workhours playing basketball pain in the ass as you are."
"Please," Harvey answers, popping the letter P, "my kids would know how to tie a bowtie, which Mike couldn't and still can't do."
"Bullshit," Louis mumbles, rolling his head back. "I've seen Donna fix your tie.." he pauses counting on his fingers until he concludes, "more than once." His words leaving Harvey speechless and the managing partner just rolls hers eyes, holding back the 'who do you think would teach them'. "And she never did that for me," Louis brings his hands to his tie.
"We both –"
"Boys," Harvey's words being cut off by Jessica, who gets a small smile from Donna in return, "you're both excellent at doing your ties and Mike won't even be able to wear one anyway. Just an orange or other monotone jumpsuit. Almost a costume."
"Costume," Harvey chuckles, staring in the distance. "When Rachel was in the hospital I showed him a picture of you as Shylock to cheer him up."
"Kid has had a pretty extreme life," Jessica whispers bringing her glass to her lips. "Did some pretty weird stuff too," Harvey adds as he mirrors his boss' move, taking a sip from his second glass of scotch. "Ooh yeah," Donna laughs shaking her head as she looks down. "What?" Harvey mumbles.
"The memo," she blushes, her hands wrapped together on her lap. "When we first found out about it, you made Mike and me look for it in the file room and no one could find out, of course. So half way during the day, the floor was filled with boxes and files everywhere and someone knocks on the door," she makes this movement with her hand and he studies her face, waiting for what's to come and he wonders if her hair had always been this vibrant.
"Mike starts freaking out, cause there was no time to hide everything… so uhm.." she swallows looking down, a chuckle escaping her lips, "I messed up his hair and mine. Took off his tie, we pretended to have sex and Harold…" she's still looking down laughing at herself as she realises with every word his breathing becomes heavier, "Harold never noticed the files."
"As long as it stayed at pretending," Jessica counters, seeing Harvey's knuckles turning white as he holds onto his glass. Her comment making Donna laugh even more before she exposed Rachel. "I'm not the one who had sex with Mike in that very file room."
"Eew," the bald name partner cries out. "Please not on my files. Eew," his face cringes as he tries to shield himself from the rest, curling up on Harvey's couch he repeats the word a few times, his reaction making Donna laugh even louder. "Ooh come on," her hand playfully slapping his arm, "you ended up in Harvard's file room with Sheila. No way nothing happened there."
Louis' eyes pop open as he turns to face the redhead on the same couch. "How do you know?" his voice slow as he stares at her from closer than would be considered appropriate, "did you bug me? Trace my phone… are you CIA?"
"Louis," Donna laughs softly pushing the lawyer back to his end of the couch, "it's me. Donna," she nods with a big smile. "I know, because you told me," she tries to reassure him, making him frown at her before he leans back. His arms wrapped around his knees he mumbles something to himself before he looks at her again, "did I?" The weed making him even more paranoid then he usually is.
"Yes," she answers, her hands on his arms, "yes Louis you did. It's the truth," she whispers looking at Jessica and Harvey for help, "I promise," she squeezes his hands. "Okay, so answer me this," he lets out a breath, "so I know you're speaking the truth. What's the weirdest sex you've ever had?"
Donna's mouth drops as she stares at the man in front of her wondering if he's serious. Harvey's mouth opens, but words fail a verbal protest. Jessica already leaning forward her arm extended in case the other name partner decides to take a swing, but Donna just nods at Louis.
"With whipped cream."