A/N: I like my chapters like my stories, long and full of drama!
Oh god! This is awkward. This is stupid and awkward. I will kill James and Pete, I can feel it in my bones that I will. This silence treatment is borderline irritating, not that I want to talk to the little shits, I'm still beyond furious at them. No, but if they ignore me again when I ask for the damm syrup to put in my pancakes I won't be able to hold myself together. It's official, I need something stronger than black tea in the mornings, is fourteen too young to start drinking? Probably but I don't think if anyone were to face Walburga Black later they would agree that a shot of firewhiskey was in order...
– Sirius, are you alright? – I turn my grumpy face to the side to look at Remus, god know he is a vision in the mornings.
– Of course I'm alright Remy. – I say with a smile totally forgetting my bad mood from the treatment of my supposedly friends and the reunion I'll have latter with my dearest (notice the sarcasm) mother.
– You looked completely murderous just a second ago. – He pointed out with a mixture of a frown and a grin that is the most true representation of him. Always concerned and amazed at the same time.
– Can you get me the syrup? The buffoons over there are ignoring me. – I say trying not to bring the conversation with my parents into the talk as I know that will lead to another guilty trip to him and I hate that more than having to talk to my mom, that in itself is a statement on it's own.
– Silly. You were never a morning person but you look worse today. – He says giving me the look that says that he expects a true reason for that but I just pout and roll my eyes.
– Who cares? – I say dismissive as I support myself against Remus and start to throw dirty looks to my supposedly good friends. James tries to send dirty looks back at me, guess what? A Black dirty look will always be superior to a Potter one. I'm glad I'm not against Regulus in here because if someone can beat me in this, is he. Merlin! Will my little brother be in the talk today? Oh, I just can imagine him siding with mother in berating me on my new dark creature status. Just peachy.
– You know what, since you are going to keep this why don't we pack something to eat and go to a secluded place? – I look at Remus like christmas came early and promptly start to help him get us some snacks and we leave to some unused classroom. We don't have the first class and I'll be having the meeting with my family by lunch time so is best if I take advantage of this time to relax since I think I'll hardly be able to after a round with mother dearest.
As soon as we get to the classroom I wait for Remus to sit and after he does I throw myself at him using his lap as a pillow.
– Feed me peasant! – I say dramatically waving my arms at him. I look at his face and I can see him blushing hard. This puts an even bigger grin in my lips and I remember that we brought grapes. – Pleaseeeee, feeeeeeeed meeeeeeee! – I put the bowl with green grapes in his hands and open my mouth sticking my tongue out for him to deposit the grapes.
MERLIN! What have I done to deserve this? Why the hell he has to make this face at my while his head is on my FREAKING LAP? I have to think of something, anything, if I get an erection right know I'll just jump from the astronomy tower… Okey, I need to think of something to take my head of the thoughts of intertwining my tongues of Sirius tongue that is so cutely reaching for a grape… God, if instead of my tongue… Okay, bad Remus. Let me see… Hm… Yeah, Peter naked will do, I'm completely safe now… I just need to put the grape and then I may shove him off me… MERLIN! Why he had to suck my finger while getting the grape? Does he even know how sexy he looks? Oh, of course he knows I had to see him brag about it for months… Okey I need to cross my legs and have him out of my lap NOW!
– HEY! – He says pouting as I push him away. This pouting is not helping as of now I want to reach out and bite his lower lip… Maybe werewolves go into heat. Yeah, that's it. Theres the only explanation for this uncontrollable desire I'm feeling… Nothing to do with the fact that now that James is out of the picture I have his total attention. How am I supposed to handle this if they don't make peace in the next months? Sirius certainly will find people more interesting than me, right?
– Stop sulking, you are not a child. – I say a little cold as I know that the only thing hiding my erections is the position I'm sitting and if I give to his pleadings he certainly will notice.
– You look like my mother. – I roll my eyes at this.
– No I don't. – I point out with a raised eyebrow. I hate when he compares me to a parent, especially since how I feel about him is nothing fraternal.
– Yeah, you don't. You didn't even threw a dark curse at me. – He said in a mocking tone that concerns me. While James always laughs at it I know for certain that Sirius is using the tone to talk about how his parents treat him without looking weak. I frown and he looks a little startled.
– You know she's wrong in doing that, right? She should never raise her wand at you. – I point out concerned.
– Well, I normally deserve. You know how I can be, right? – He tries to dismiss me making me remember his bad attitudes.
– Yes, kind and proud. Which goes back to the fact that what she does is wrong. Someone should intervene and stop her. – I frown at him.
– Yeah, yeah. You are the one to talk, James also should not treat you bad and neither should Pete. But you gladly will defend their right to do so because you think you deserve it… – I feel a sting at his point. Of course he is right but is not the same thing, I do deserve the hate. He just doesn't know how much yet. But him? Sirius may be cruel and even ruthless but there is no one more compassionate than him.
– Which is not the point, by your own logic I'm right and just happened to be a screw up like you. But you are wrong, is not the same. They are your parents and even me being me, my Mom and Dad never cursed me. And neither should your parents. Hell Sirius! I still remember your nightmares when you came back from summer. – I say really angry. How dare him make this about me?
– Remember what? I never told anyone about it. Not even James. – Oh there it is. Not even James. Of course because if he would tell anyone it will always be James first. Bad Remus stop being so jealous.
– Yeah, those chocolate frogs just happened to show up in your pillow every time you had a nightmare by miracle. – I state upset.
– Oh… Well, I just assumed… – He starts and I know that he just assumed it was James.
– I know. – I say coldly and immediately regret. I didn't wanted recognition for it, if I did I would have made it clear it was from me. But to have James taking the credit makes my blood boil.
– Is just that you like chocolate so much that I… I thought… I mean… Of course it wasn't James. How silly of me. – He says looking a little guilty and I start to feel guilty myself.
– Forget it, okay? You didn't tell me so I don't know nothing about it. – I say trying to change subjects but I can see Sirius mind working behind his grey eyes.
– You love chocolate, you never ever ever gave me or anyone chocolate. You always make a scene when we try to take you chocolate… – He starts and I feel my hands sweeting. – Oh! Thank you Remy. You must have been really concerned about me to have done that. – He looks really please with himself now and I feel the blood coming to my face. I must look like a tomato now.
– What' with you calling me Remy suddenly. It's been going since the infirmary. – I point out trying to diverge the subject but Sirius raises one of his perfect eyebrows at me.
– It just feels right. What? Now you are ashamed of caring for me? You are priceless. – He says supporting himself against my torso and starting to resume eating his grapes. I take note of the talk about chocolate to take a few chocolate frogs from my personal stash.
God! We can't even have a discussion with the mention of chocolate that suddenly he has to eat some. Hm… Chocolate goes really well with grapes… I can ask him some, now that I know that he has given me some in the past he can't refuse. And if he does I'll just go and take it by force even if I'll have to kiss him… WOW… Kiss Remus? Where does this thought comes from? He does have a pretty and kind of well draw lips. Hm… Hell, I'm crazy! I would probably kiss Pete if I would put my mind into it. NO! BRAIN HAS DENIED IT! KISSING REMUS IS NOT IN THE SAME CATEGORY! Gosh that was an unpleasant image. Hm… Remus does looks more sexy than Pete… And James… And me if I'm being honest. Even the scars don't make him look ugly, instead they make him look… WOW BRAIN! Not the time for these type of images. Remus would kill me if he knew what goes in this beautiful mind of mine.
– Give me a chocolate. – I say after a while.
– No. What did you say? I never ever ever give anyone chocolate? It was a true statement. – He rolls his eyes at my request.
– Please. I'll give you a bite of my grape and you can give me a bite of the chocolate. And you have given me chocolate before. – O use my puppy eyes at him, I'm pretty sure that he never refused anything I asked of him with these eyes.
– I won'... – He stops mid sentence looking like he is thinking hard. – Alright. – He says and I practically jump in excitement. I easily take a grape and bite it dividing it in two as wait as Remus does the same with his chocolate frog.
– Here…– I say shoving the grape into his mouth letting my finger come into contact with his lip and tongue breathly. He then tries to give me the chocolate in my hand but I dive and take it with my mouth almost biting his finger.
– I told you! Tasty. – I say chewing the chocolate with the fruit.
– Yeah you did. Look at the time! We have to go to the history class. – He points out and I growl.
– Can't we skip it? – I try to pull the puppy eyes but I know that I'm looking more with lazy than pleading. And I know that this look my werewolf friend can easily ignore. He almost drags me to class where he completely ignores professor Binns and starts reading a book while I send myself to the sleep realm.
Afterwards I almost forget that I have to go to the Headmaster's office so I can have a beautiful family get together (It's Black for slaughter). When I reach the reunion my parents and Regulus are there. Great, I think the next full moon the Slytherins will be hunting werewolves.
– Hello father, mother. Snake. – I say sending dagger to Regulus, we never got along. He was always mother's pet and I honestly can't deal with it.
– Humpf. – Mother recognition are getting even less words.
– Mr. and Mrs. Black would take a sit? – Dumbledore offers my parent that accept with a little scarn. Then he points out other two chairs and me and Regulus who also make ourselves sit.
– What have my disappointment of son done this time? – I know mother is usually the one that I complain about but I must admit that father has his charms. – Has he gone to the forbidden forest for some stupid dare again? If so you should just have sent a letter as I can't see what would matter enough to bring me here. – He finishes and I start to panic. This is bad. I think that it finally hit me how bad it really is.
– As a matter of fact it does have something to do with the forbidden forest. – Dumbledore's says and I try to get a hold of the panic attack that is trying to surface. Gosh I can deal this anytime as long as it's not in front of my parents. – I assure you that you've heard of the fact that there are werewolves in there? – He states and I kind of appreciate that I have spread these rumors in the past. I look to my family to see their reaction. Mother has a big grimace and father looks frozen on the spot. I think of not looking at Regulus, as his disgust will be the one to hurt the most, but I end up looking anyway and surprise myself.
My baby brother is looking at me like he's going to start crying any minute now and I feel my heart crunch. Oh crap. He cares about me. SHIT!
– Are you insinuating that my son was bitten? – The voice is my mother's and I immediately put a hand on the bite on my arm I stare at the floor.
– It was the most unfortunate accident as he was on a forbidding territory. I manage to get there in time when I noticed the ward had been breached and killed the beast but not soon enough to stop him from being infected. I have already managed arrangements to provide him while he's at school but I must ask you to do the same for him at home. – Dumbledore did improved the lie. For a moment there silence reigns and I start to think that maybe, just maybe, this will not get out of control. Maybe they are trying to figure it out about who they will blame, the Headmaster or me.
– HOW DARE YOU? YOU LITTLE DISGRACE! YOU EMBARRASSED THE HOUSE OF BLACK LIKE THIS? I'LL KILL YOU! FORGET BEING BURN OUT OF THE TAPESSARIE! I'LL KILL YOU! – I jump on my feet in panic and support myself against one of the shelfs. I guess I'm the one to blame. Mother soon takes her wand and point at me, at the same time Dumbledore and father rise from their seats and in a flash Regulus throws himself in front of me.
– OUT! GET AWAY FROM THIS HALF BREED TRASH, REGULUS! NOW! – I stare at the headmaster and father, both have drawn his wands too.
– NO! YOU WON'T HURT HIM! – Regulus scream at mother in a very similar shrill voice that usually makes me angry. Right now just makes me want to cry to see him protecting me while I did nothing but make his life miserable. I do feel a few tear running through my face.
– Mrs. Black I ask you to get a hold of yourself. You cannot threaten a student in my presence. – Dumbledore tries to appease but her eyes are red and I can see her shaking in fury. As reflex I push Regulus behind me, whenever she gets this angry only one thing can get out of it. And is a cruciatus. Regulus tries to push me aside to stand in front of me but I don't let him. I would never let her do to him the things she does to me. NEVER!
I can see father trying to hold mother, even if he will turn a blind eye at her behavior at home he would never do such in front of the Chief Warlock and head of Wizagamont. When I thought he would get a hold of her, she turns her wand at me and I see the red light coming in my direction as my mother voices screams. – CRUCIO!
As soon as I feel the curse hit me it feels like the time stops as I feel the pain filling me. But never before the pain went away so far. When I reopened my eyes I see mother and father petrified and Aurors coming through the floo. I look around and see Regulus crying by my side.
Poppy comes and starts pumping a few potions into my mouth and soon I drift into sleep. When I wake again I'm on the infirmary. Merlin I hate this place. At least Remus is not here. I look around and see Regulus sitting beside me reading.
– Hey, what happened? Are you alright? She didn't got to you, right?! – I ask a little worried, he was so close to me when hell broke loose. I didn't think mother would do an unforgivable in front of Dumbledore tough.
– I'm alright. She would never hurt me. I'm not a disappointment like you. – He states and I start to get angry, here I was so worried about him and as soon as possible he reverts to the brat he always is.
– So what? Are you planning to finish what she started? – I ask rispid and see his eyes almost popping out of his head.
– Of course not Sirius. I'm just saying you shouldn't have put me behind you. If you didn't she would have just screamed a lot… Well, who cares she is going to jail now. Maybe father will too. Even if he doesn't I don't think he will keep being our guardian. – He states looking at his feet. Damm. He's just eleven, he shouldn't have to deal with this. It's all my fault, even if they hated me they care for Regulus and because of me now he lost them.
– I'm sorry. I didn't wanted to destroy your life kiddo. – I say passing my hand through his hair.
– What is wrong with you Sirius? Did the curse break what was left of your already small brain? – He asks me with scorn but I can't help but feel a little amused by it so I laugh. – You didn't destroy my life. If anything you saved me. I always imagined how long I would be able to keep with their expectations and how long would it take for them to take their frustration in me too. – He says a little ashamed and I immediately know that I screw up really bad. How could I not see he was just trying to survive that hell hole we called home? I raise up and hug him hard.
– Oh, I'm so sorry for how I treated you Regulus. I'm so sorry. – He looks astonished but he hugs me back. I don't think we hugged since we were both toddlers and it feels good.
– Thank you Sirius. Dumbledore said he will be meeting with our family to find out who will have our guardianship. I might have give him a hint towards uncle Alphard you know. – He says and I smile at that. Damm, it does pays out to have a snake in the family. – Madam Pomfrey said you could go back to you dorm to rest as soon as you wake up. I also have to go back now... You don't hate me do you?
– No. I love you, Regulus. But we are never talking about this ever again. Capiche? – He laughs at me.
– Understood. I love you too. And on this note I leave before we start fighting. – He turns and runs away from the infirmary and I can see that he did it to hide embarrassment. Merlin, I need to go back to the dorms. I really need to hug Remus now. Maybe he will let me cuddle with him after a tell him what happened.
As soon as I arrived at the dorms I see that James and Pete are nowhere to be found and that his bed curtains are closed. I get close and open then to see Remus crying.
– What the hell? – I asked when I see his face, there is a open wound in his cheeks and neck and I can feel my blood boiling. Can this day became even worse?
– Remus, what happened? – I ask while he tries to hide in the bed sheets. – Don't. – I climb to the bed and put a few charms around like privacy, notice me not, silence and such. – Who did this to you? – I ask as I lift his face and stare right into his eyes. – Don't even try to lie to me. I can tell and you know it.
– Please, it's nothing. – He tries and I shoot dagger with my eyes and he squirms before answering. – James decided to play a prank at me and it got a little out of hand. – I growl at it.
– Oh, that's it. I'm killing the bastard. – I say as I start to make an assessment of his injuries. He should have gone to the infirmary. – Did you report him? – I ask already knowing the answer and Remus just turn his eyes down. I wish I had more self control and mind right now but I don't.
– I'll deal with this tomorrow. – As I say this he looks a little relieved but then I climb on top of him I press my tongue against his injuries in the neck. I feel him starting to shake by my touch and freezy below me. I continue to clean his wound with my mouth sucking a little and going up to his face, I came as close as licking the side of his mouth I don't get the courage to kiss him in the end. I burry my head on his unhurt part of the neck and take a deep breath. The scent of books, chocolate and wolf fill up my senses as I feel my muscles relaxing.
I can sense the scent of my saliva against his skin and this makes me a lot more excited than it should. Even so I'm exhausted so I cuddle against him and make myself comfortable. – I really need some sleep and I know for certain that I will only be able to if you are by my side... don't ask. Tomorrow we will talk. – I say and close my eyes. Soon I feel Remus's hands reaching out and hugging me while he buried his head into my hair. This shouldn't feel this good but I don't really care.
I was really grateful that Lily decided to ditch her friends and sit with me when she noticed that I would be having lunch alone as Sirius went to his meeting with the Headmaster. She accompanied me for the next class too and even a little after before we went our separate ways. It was only when she left that I noticed that I was being followed. It didn't take a genius to know that it was James and Pete and when I reach a desert corridor they confronted me. James disarmed me and Pete soon levitate me to hang me on the spear of one of the armors. Of course Pete is a incompetent little shit and almost impaled me making me have another awful gash in my face and neck, as if I don't have enough scars already. Perfect! Just what I needed.
I took me a while to be able to free myself and recover my wand and soon as I did I went to the dorms and threw myself in my bed closing the curtains. It was already late and Sirius still hadn't came back which worried me senseless and contributed to my fit of crying. To my surprise after a while Sirius showed up and I started to feel really bad about myself. I didn't want him to see me like this I tried to hide. Not that he let me.
Soon he was in bed with me assessing how I was, I could see he was not completely in his right mind when as our eyes meet my green confronted amber. Werewolf eyes, he's clearly furious. As we spoke I thought that he would push for a long talk that would step even further in my pride but he didn't. He postponed the talk by doing the most improbable thing ever.
I had to use all of my self control not to do something as he started using his tongue against my skin. Part of me took this as a hallucination, reality could never get this close to my dirty dreams. I stayed planked without moving a muscle the entire time... and he took his sweet time licking my wounds. Is this happening because of the change, some stupid werewolf stinct? Do I care it is?
When his tongue stopped licking my a little too close to my lips I felt a bolt of relief and disappointment. At least he didn't left as he arranged himself against me in a selfish way.
– I really need some sleep and I know for certain that I will only be able to if you are by my side... don't ask. Tomorrow we will talk. – He said and I start to think of how bad was his talk with his parents. As soon as he made himself comfortable I allowed myself to hug him and I planted my face into his hair taking his marvelous scent. For a moment I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep as I felt intoxicated but being this close to Sirius is as just exited as is comforting, soon I felt in a deep and amazing sleep.
Thanks for reading.