By Biankies and Anjion

A/N: This is a collaboration between me and my good friend, Biankies, and features our 3 favourite sidekicks, Babkak, Omar and Kassim from Aladdin (specifically those from the original Broadway cast) and the movie Newsies.

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters except Mac, Lacey and ourselves. Please read and review!

AA/N: Mac and Lacey are Newsies. Mac is the doctor to her friends and Lacey is Spot's second-in-command and annoys him mercilessly! Enjoy!

(It is a very soggy day in Manhattan; the rain, which has been falling for two whole days, is torrential and the Newsies have not had any work because nobody is going out. So their two friends Anjion and Biankies – or Stars and Mouse – are reading them a story about a Wizard who goes to a special Wizard school where he meets lots of new friends and learns more about his worst enemy...)

LES: Hey, wouldn't it be fun if we were Witches and Wizards? Then we could cast spells on people to make them buy our papes!

(There is a general buzz of agreement from around the room. Omar, who is wearing a bedsheet 'cape' and a paper cone hat, waves his wooden 'wand' excitedly.)

OMAR: Yeah, then we wouldn't have to rely on Genie all the time!

DAVID: I expect it would be fun, if it were possible for us to be Witches and Wizards... which it isn't...

(It is at this moment that a strange portal appears in the middle of the room and everyone present falls into it...)

SKITTERY: (rather nervously) Where are we?

(Everyone looks at Biankies and Anjion who have a knack for causing trouble...)

ANJION: It looks strangely familiar... Almost like I've seen it before...

OMAR: (shrieking) Look, it's that maze again! I don't wanna go in there, Kassim, DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THERE!

KASSIM: (wincing) I wasn't going to...

ANJION: That's it! We're at Hogwarts! But this time, we've avoided the maze!

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: (suddenly appearing) And what are you all doing out here? Hurry, you'll be late...

(The suddenness of the teacher's arrival sends the cowardly trio known as Skittery, Omar and Mouse jumping onto the closest person...)

KASSIM: (looking at Anjion who is miraculously still standing) Here we go again...

ANJION: If I find myself a wand during this adventure, you'd better look out guys!

(All three get down at once. McGonagall raises an eyebrow but says nothing.)

RACE: (looking in awe at the huge castle before us) Wow! That is some impressive, ark-ee-tec... What's the word?

DAVID: Architecture.

RACE: Yeah, that.

(Everyone is so engrossed in the building that no one notices the pair of large, round green eyes watching from a nearby bush...)

(We walk towards Hogwarts when a noise can be heard behind us, sending the three cowards running away.)

KASSIM: Not again! Omar! Get back here!

MUSH: (sounding decidedly nervous) What was that?

MCGONAGALL: I have no idea. Come along!

(Swifty, Anjion and Kassim run to rescue the cowardly trio, and nobody is any the wiser about the source of the strange noise.

A few minutes later, everyone is once again gathered in front of the castle, nervously following the elderly Professor.)

MCGONAGALL: By the way, where are your robes? (She casts a critical eye over those of our number who are still sporting their bedsheet capes and paper hats.) Those are not proper Hogwarts uniforms. Although it is good to know that some of you have at least made an effort...

ANJION: I think this calls for a trip to Diagon Alley.

MAC: How are we supposed to get there?

(Anjion points down at the pair of ruby red slippers that each person is suddenly wearing. The boys all gasp in horror and there is a cry of "I'M WEARING GIRLS' SHOES?!" from Spot.)

ANJION: I imagine we just have to bang our heels together and say "There's no place like Diagon Alley."

(She proceeds to do so and vanishes. With reluctance, the boys follow suit, and suddenly they are in a bustling little street filled with magical whatnot. We all look around to find the store where we are supposed to buy our robes, and then someone spots a very familiar joke shop...)

SNIPES: (in a whisper) Wow! Look at this place! I'm gonna take a look...

(He and a couple of the younger boys slip into the joke shop while the rest of us, unaware, make our way down the street towards the robe shop. But then someone gets distracted by a shop window full of owls...)

DUTCHY: Hey, look at these owls! They've got such big eyes! Ha ha, this one kinda looks like you, Specs!

(Specs glares at him.)

OMAR: Can I touch it?

(He moves his hand towards the owl which is ruffling its feathers... Biankies and Anjion see and try to stop him...)


(A flurry of feathers later...)


MAC: Don't tell me, his finger's bleeding.

KASSIM: (examining his friend's hand) Yep.

BIANKIES: (leaning closer to Anjion) I thought he'd have learnt by now!

DRACO MALFOY: (appearing out of nowhere) What's wrong with him?

(Draco's sudden appearance right behind Anjion sends her jumping onto Kassim in surprise.)

KASSIM: Stars, get off. It's bad enough when Mouse and Omar do it!

ANJION: But I like it here. You're so strong...

DRACO: Oh, it's you guys! Are you here to buy pets?


(He pulls Specs away from a large, purring black cat he is petting fondly. Specs glares.)

RON: (appearing behind Biankies) All I've got is a smelly old rat. I've given up trying to make him yellow...

ANJION: That reminds me, we need wands! Come on!

(Biankies squeaks, runs to Kassim – who moves out of the way – and ends up jumping on Anjion.)

ANJION: Ooof! Not again! Mouse, get off!

RON: Sorry! I forgot that one scares easy.

DRACO: It's still funny.

ANJION: Come on, I can see Ollivander's!

DAVID: That's the wand shop, right?

RACE: (to Biankies) I'm not sure everyone ought to have a wand... (He looks sideways at Omar...)


RACE: (wincing) And that was my ear.

(Biankies catches up to Anjion just outside the wand shop.)

BIANKIES: You sure you want Omar to have a wand?

ANJION: Aw, what harm can he do?

(She leads the crowd – which now includes those who have returned from the Joke Shop – into Ollivander's wand shop.)

BABKAK: (to Kassim) I bet you she'll regret that later...

KASSIM: Aw, come on Babkak, what harm can he do? He probably won't be able to work one anyway...

OMAR: (from inside the shop) Wow! This thing is AWESOME!

ANJION AND OLLIVANDER: Don't wave it about so, you'll break some-

(There is the sound of something falling over and a loud shattering noise, followed by a sudden silence.)

OMAR: S-Sorry...

BIANKIES: Be careful with that thing!

(Omar waves his wand again and everyone turns into a variety of animals...)

BEAR MUSH: Hey Mouse, why are you so small? And why do I feel so big?

PIG BABKAK: I think I'm a pig.

MONKEY KASSIM: Babkak, you're a pig even when you're not an animal...

GREAT DANE DUTCHY: Look at me! I'm so regal!

RACOON SPECS: You couldn't be regal if it bit you!

(There is a sudden loud noise and a flurry of feathers as Sparrow Omar takes to the air, chased by Cat Les.)

OWL ANJION: Ollivander, can you turn us back?

FERRET DRACO: Yeah, I don't like being a ferret!

(Ollivander, despite being a duck, manages to wave his wand and turn us all back into humans.)

DAVID: (brushing the last traces of fur off his nose) Thanks. Rabbits are not my favourite animals.

ANJION: You okay, Mouse? Good, then let's go. Where's Omar?

OMAR: (from up in the roof) Help! I can't get down...

BIANKIES: How in the name of monkey bars did he get up there?

KASSIM: (looking nervous) M-monkey bars?

ANJION: Not the edible sort of "bar", Kassim.

(Kassim looks relieved.)

DRACO: (rolling his eyes) I'm surrounded by cowards!


MUSH: You ain't much better!

OMAR: We got a problem, remember?!

KASSIM: Yeah; he called us cowards!

OMAR: No, I'm still stuck!

RACE: (still trying to resist the urge to gallop off like a racehorse) To answer your question, Mouse, he flew up there.

ANJION: And now we've got to get him down.

DRACO: (hopefully) Aww, couldn't we just leave him there?

(Everyone glares at him.)

KASSIM: Well, I ain't going up there, I don't like heights.

ALADDIN: Since when?

KASSIM: Since the Genie crashed the carpet into that warehouse in the first story Stars and Mouse wrote.

ALADDIN: Fair enough.

GENIE: (popping up) I'll get him down!

(He snaps his fingers and the beam that Omar is sitting on breaks; and with a yell he tumbles downwards, landing on Kassim, who groans.)


GENIE: You're welcome! (He disappears in a puff of smoke.)

ALADDIN: Well, that worked...

DRACO: (still snickering) That was entertaining.

RON: I hate to agree but it was.

KASSIM: (glaring at the wizards) Mouse, Stars, you can do anything in a story, right?

(The two authors nod and Kassim whispers something to them...)

ANJION: (trying not to laugh) You got it! We can do that, right, Mouse?

(Biankies nods and we both pull out our wands, turn the two laughing wizards into ferrets and bounce them around the shop...)

KASSIM: (leaning closer to Mouse and Anjion) Oh I love being your favourite...

ANJION: Actually, I prefer Omar, but you're a close second.

OLLIVANDER: Please go away! Your friend has already done enough damage!

(Omar goes red with embarrassment and runs out of the shop. We restore the two wizards before following him.)

DAVID: (grabbing Les' shirt so he can't run off) Now we need some robes...

BABKAK: (as we set off) Mine had better be green. I like green...

BIANKIES: Come on, let's get our robes. And they're not green, Babkak. They're black.

OMAR: (suddenly) I thought you guys said no pets.

BIANKIES: We did, why?

RON: (still a little upset about being turned into a ferret) Then why does he get to have one?

(Everyone turns to look at Bumlets, who is desperately trying to hide the tiny Scops owl that he is holding. He gives a guilty grin.)

BUMLETS: Sorry, I just couldn't resist. (He looks lovingly at the bird.) He's called Henry...

ANJION: Well, we can't do anything about it now. Bumlets, he's your responsibility. Come on, here's the robe shop.

(About an hour later...)

SNITCH: I can't believe you got us kicked out, Babkak!

SWIFTY: You really shouldn't have eaten the lady's sandwich...

BABKAK: I didn't realise it was her lunch!

SKITTERY: Well, if we get told off for not having the right robes, it's your fault.

RON AND DRACO: (evilly) You'd better keep away from Filch, then, 'cause he'll kill you if you do a single thing wrong...

(Omar, Kassim and Skittery all go very pale...)

BIANKIES: I have an idea...

(She looks at Anjion and points to her wand, but Anjion looks blankly at her friend. So Biankies whispers in her ear.)

ANJION: Oh! Good idea! Don't worry, boys, Mouse and I will cast a spell that makes it look like you're wearing the right robes!

DAVID: Great idea Mouse! At least one of us is sensible!

(Everyone stares at him. Anjion glares at him. David retreats behind Mush.)

(Biankies smiles happily until she spots a certain teacher and ends up running away squeaking...)

RON: What's up with her?

ANJION: Oh no, it's Snape! He'll see straight through the spell! Quick everyone, hold hands! We're going back to Hogwarts!

(Biankies and Anjion quickly disapperate everyone and reappear in the Great Hall, just as the Sorting ends. Professor McGonagall glares disapprovingly at us and Dumbledore gazes at us with interest. We quickly sit down at the large empty table that has clearly been put aside for a large party such as ourselves!)

DUMBLEDORE: And now, let the feast, BEGIN!

(The tables in front of us suddenly fill up with food and Babkak swoons in pleasure! Omar and Kassim almost start drooling; they have never seen so much food in one place! And the Newsies have already started swiping bread rolls and other small tidbits...)

ALADDIN: (rousing his euphoric friend) Come on, Babkak, or you'll get nothing!

(A few moments later)

ANJION: (looking behind Swifty who is sitting across the table) Oh, hi Nick!

RACE: Huh? Who're you talking to?

NEARLY HEADLESS NICK: (floating through the solid table) I believe she is speaking to me.

OMAR: AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHhh... (He faints in fright and topples backwards.)

ANJION: (grinning conspiratorially at Biankies) How's your head, Nick?

NICK: Oh, same as always. Still attached - just.

ANJION: Won't you show us?

(Nick obligingly grips his hair and lifts his ghostly head almost completely off his neck.)

KASSIM: Oh, that's gross... (He faints forward into his plate of food.)

(Babkak stares at his plate, which is piled high. Then, to our surprise, he pushes it away.)

BABKAK: I think I've lost my appetite...

BIANKIES: Now that was fun. (She high-fives Anjion.)

DAVID: That was disgusting!

LES: That was cool!

BIANKIES: (with an evil grin) Hey Stars, are you plotting what I'm plotting?

(She looks mischievously at David as Omar and Kassim start coming to.)

ANJION: (grinning evilly) Heh heh heh...

DAVID: (looking wary) Stars, Mouse, what are you planning...?

ANJION: (still grinning evilly) Heh heh heh...

SKITTERY: Stop doing that! You're making me nervous!

ANJION: Sorry...

(Biankies slips away from the table and heads to a certain pair of Gryffindor troublemakers.)

Biankies: (returning to Anjion's side and whispering) Get under the table in ten seconds.

(A few seconds later, the room erupts into chaos as a mass of pies suddenly rains down on the students, just as two troublemakers and two troublesome authors duck under the table...)

PIE EATER: (as someone steals his pudding) Hey! That was mine!

LES: (thoroughly enjoying himself) Take that!

(He throws a pie at a random Slytherin, who hurls one back, misses, and hits Babkak instead.)

BABKAK: (licking his lips) Mmmmmm!

HERMIONE: Stop! This is atrocious! You're all behaving like a group of schoolboys... Oh.

(Kassim comes up behind a frantic and bewildered Omar and taps him on the shoulder. Omar, reacting instinctively, whirls round and plants the pie he is holding straight into Kassim's face. Kassim freezes for a second before spitting out a mouthful of custard.)

OMAR: S-s-sorry...

ANJION: (chuckling from her safe spot) Hee hee! I hope they don't realise that we started this or we're in Big Trouble...!

(At this point, a small tabby cat appears beside us and we both jump...)

BIANKIES: Starsie, we got a problem.

ANJION: (gulping) Oh no! McGonagall! (Adopts innocent attitude) Oh, hi, Professor! We just got under the table to get out of the way!

(Biankies nods frantically in agreement, rather resembling a Nodding Dog on a very bumpy road. McGonagall, who is human now, pulls her 'I am not fooled' face.)

MCGONAGALL: (sternly) In normal circumstances, you would have detention at the very least, and a longer one for your lack of robes, but Dumbledore has instructed me to let you off on this occasion as he finds this whole mess amusing.

(She changes back into a cat and disappears, leaving us looking at each other in amazement.)

MAC: (who has since joined us under the table) Well, that was a lucky escape! We'd better be on our best behaviour from now on...

(The crazy authors nod then shake their heads and nod again.)

MUSH: Come on out, guys. They're done.

(The three of us come out from under the table only to be pelted with pies, so we immediately pull out our wands and turn the group blue...)

OMAR: (in delight) Hey, I LOVE blue!

KASSIM: Well, I don't appreciate looking like a blueberry.

BABKAK: Blueberries? Where?

(A nervous Gryffindor prefect comes up to the group very reluctantly.)

PREFECT: Um, Professor Dumbledore has asked me to show you to your rooms. He says the sooner you get out of here, the better.

DUTCHY: (who is furiously cleaning cream off his glasses) We get rooms?

PREFECT: Yes, you've got your own private suite. It's huge, apparently...

RACE: Oh good!

ANJION: (to Biankies) I hope there's nothing breakable in there...

BIANKIES: Yeah, cause these guys are worse than us.

MAC: No, Swifty, its not a good idea to race! Omar slow down!

(A few seconds later a loud crash is heard...)

(We rush onwards to find Omar on his back, looking blankly up at the ceiling, and Swifty with a bucket stuck on his head!)

SWIFTY: (rather muffled) Hey! Who turned the lights out?!

MAC: (to a worried Babkak) Omar's just stunned, he'll be alright in a little while.

(Mush and Snoddy finally manage to get the bucket off Swifty's head and then, gathering up the dazed Omar, we continue to follow the shaken prefect.)

(A few moments later, inside our rooms)

TUMBLER AND LES: Wow! (They race to bounce onto the nearest bed.)

(We all look around in awe while the nervous Prefect slips away, but our pleasure is cut short by a shriek from Romeo, who has just spotted a pair of large green eyes peering shyly out from a cupboard...)

MAC: What's wrong?

ROMEO: (pointing to the cupboard) There's something with scary green eyes in there...

BIANKIES: (recognising the creature) Aww... Come on out Dobby.

DOBBY: (emerging) Dobby is sorry for scaring the strange, loud boy. Dobby only wanted to look!

(Most of the boys draw closer together at the sight of this strange, big-eared creature, making us girls chuckle.)

ANJION: Aww, are you scared of Dobby? He won't hurt you!

DOBBY: (rather less shyly) Look what Dobby can do!

(He clicks his fingers and a large Grecian urn that is sitting proudly on one of the wardrobes is suddenly airborne...)


(Too late, the urn falls to the ground as if in slow motion and shatters upon the carpet.)

ANJION: Quick! Let's get outta here!

DOBBY: Dobby can help. Dobby can take you somewhere safe.

BIANKIES: Yes please, Dobby. The last thing we need is for the Genie to come help again...

GENIE: (appearing) Did somebody call?


(This startles Omar, who has just come back to his senses, and with a squeal he hops off the bed, slips out the door and zooms along the corridor until he is out of sight. We all look at each other, then give chase.)

KASSIM: Omar, come back!

ANJION: (to Biankies) I hope he doesn't end up in Snape's classroom! That would not end well...

BIANKIES: No, but how do we find him?

KASSIM: (smiling evilly) I have an idea.

(He pulls Biankies and Skittery together and yells from behind them in a rather creepy voice, sending the two cowards running.)

DAVID: Great. Now we have to find three of them.

KASSIM: Nope. The Cowardly Trio has a way of sticking together. They'll find Omar, and we just have to follow them.

(We chase after the fleeing cowards, all the way to a very familiar classroom with a not so friendly teacher...)

(When we finally catch up, Omar is nowhere in sight, Skittery is out cold on the floor and Biankies is standing stock still, opening and shutting her mouth like a goldfish.)

SNAPE: And what have we here?

DAVID: Er, we're kinda lost...

ANJION: Er, have you seen a tall guy in blue clothes? We're looking for him...

SNAPE: Yes, I have seen him. He ran away. Now go away. I am teaching.

KASSIM: (in a rather nervous, high-pitched voice) Thank you, sir, we'll just be going...

(And, picking up Skittery, we flee.)

BIANKIES: (still sounding squeaky) Wait for me!

RACE: (glaring at Kassim) So much for your plan.

BABKAK: We still have to find Omar...

ANJION: He'll turn up sooner or later.

(Omar suddenly reappears at speed, yelling and trying to dodge the apples that are being thrown at his head by some unseen creature.)

ANJION: There you are! (to the invisible creature) Thanks Peeves!

BIANKIES: (leaning into Anjion and whispering quietly) Can we please plot something now? Something like turning Kassim into a monkey?

KASSIM: Please, no!

ANJION: (ignoring him) Yeah, why not?

PIE EATER: (suddenly) Oh Mouse, you are the loveliest thing I have ever seen! (He looks at Biankies with hearts in his eyes.) Such beauty! So amazing...

(We all stare at him, aghast, wondering what on earth could have come over the boy, until Blink spots the half-eaten currant bun that Pie is holding...)

BLINK: Where did that come from?

PIE: (dreamily) I found it in Snape's room...

ANJION: Uh oh, eating a bun from a Potion Master is not a good idea...

BIANKIES: (looks nervously at Anjion then back at Pie, who is making kissy faces at her) Petrificus Totalus!

(Pie eater falls to the floor, as rigid as a stone statue.)


MAC: What do we do?

BIANKIES: I hate to say it but we gotta go back to Snape...

(Omar, deciding he wants to have a go at spell casting, tries to copy Biankies' spell, but what he actually says is "Petrified Uncle Alex".)

PETRIFIED UNCLE ALEX: (appearing out of nowhere and screaming in a very Scottish accent) THEY'RE AFTER ME! THE TERRIBLE BEASTIES ARE AFTER ME! HEELLLLPPP!

(He dashes off, crashing into and mowing down Kassim as he goes. Omar drops the wand in shock.)


ANJION: (picking up the wand) Maybe I should look after this for the time being...

BIANKIES: Good idea, Stars. Omar is scary with that thing.

MAC: He's even worse than the red haired guy.

RON: Hey!

MAC: Perhaps Dumbledore could help with Pie's, er, problem? Saves us going back to Snape...

BIANKIES: Well then, let's get him there before the spell wears off.

ITEY: Won't we get lost?

ANJION: No, we're the authors. We know everything!

SNODDY: So where do we go now?

ANJION: (looking at the four-way tunnel in confusion) Um, this isn't in the movie...

LES: Hey, look at this fantastic map that Mouse has got...

BIANKIES: What were you saying about getting lost?

(She holds up the Marauder's Map, smiling proudly.)

ANJION: Where did you get that, Mouse?!

DAVID: (wisely) What matters is that she has it.

(Anjion glares at him and then looks at the map.)

ANJION: Oh look, there's Dumbledore's office! Thank goodness for our Mouse!

TUMBLER: (pointing at the map) What's that?

SNITCH: It says 'Barty Crouch Jnr' underneath...

(Biankies squeaks out the Chew Toy equivalent of 'Run' whilst pointing at the strange looking man behind them.)

SWIFTY: Why does she want us to run?

RACE: Swifty, normally you need no excuse to run!

SWIFTY: Point taken! (He runs.)

ANJION: Quickly! This way!

(We all hurtle round a corner and collide with a huge, bearded creature in a vast moleskin overcoat.)

OMAR AND SKITTERY: AAAAAAGGGHHH! (Omar leaps on Babkak and Skittery jumps on Mouse.)

HAGRID: Hey there, why're you all runnin'?

KASSIM: (in a really high-pitched voice) We're being chased by a crazy man with a wand!

MUSH: And we're looking for Dumbledore!

HAGRID: I can deal with the crazy man, but Dumbledore ain't here! He's away!

LUNA LOVEGOOD: Perhaps I can help...

BIANKIES: (still trying to pry Skittery off) Can you get rid of a love potion before this guy wakes up?

LUNA: I thought the boy in pink was just scared.

MUSH: He is. It's Pie here who ate something that scary teacher guy had.

RACE: Yeah, and then he started acting weird.

KASSIM: And these guys are weird enough without little heart shaped eyes...


LUNA: Oh, it'll wear off on its own. Eventually.

MUSH: Well, that's something!

BABKAK: (who has finally got Omar back to ground level) And we seem to have lost the crazy man. Can we go get something to eat now? I'm starving!

(Suddenly, the corridor goes pitch black and there is a series of squeals, squeaks and screams, not to mention oofs and "Gerroff!"s as most of the group try to climb up each other...)

(As soon as the lights come back Harry, Ron an Hermione find themselves staring at the pyramid of bodies made up of Newsies and our three thieves.)

ANJION: (from somewhere at the bottom) Harry, some help would be nice!

IAGO: (who sounds rather squashed) Yeah! This is painful!

(The three students quickly help everyone down, but a look over the congregated throng reveals that Snipeshooter, Mac and Lacey have vanished...)

SPOT: Where could they have gone to?

(But before anyone can reply, Babkak spots a large cake floating in the air just in front of him...)

BABKAK: Mmmm, cake...

(He starts to chase the cake as it zooms away.)

OMAR: Babkak, come back!

BIANKIES: (to Anjion) Keep your wand and Race close.

(We all run in the direction Babkak disappeared in but before we can reach him, we hear loud barking and shouting...)

RON: Oh no! Fluffy!

OMAR: That doesn't sound very scary!

RON: You wait till you're up close and then tell me that again! See you later! (He runs off in the opposite direction.)

ANJION: Race, we're gonna need your harmonica again...

(We round another corner to see the amazing sight of Babkak apparently backing a huge, three-headed dog into a corner. Incredibly, instead of trying to eat Babkak, the dog is trying to keep its heads out of the reach of Babkak's fists!)

HARRY: How is he doing that?!

BABKAK: (angrily) It ate my cake!

SNIPES, MAC AND LACEY: (reappearing, shocked) Well, that didn't go as planned...

BABKAK: (irate) Wait - you planned this?! GRRRRR!

BIANKIES: I think its best to run now.

LACEY AND MAC: We second that!

SNIPES: (hiding behind Anjion) Yeah.

(Babkak advances angrily...)

ANJION: There's no point hiding behind me, Snipes! I'm running too!

(We turn and run off again, this time pursued by a furious Babkak. But then...)

DREADED VOICE: (from somewhere up ahead) What is it, my pretty? Can you smell that 'orrible bunch of kids that made such a mess at the Feast? We'll get 'em, you'll see!

ANJION: Oh no! It's Filch! We're trapped!

(Without anywhere to go the Newsies and Hogwarts students decide to hide behind Anjion...)

ANJION: Well, I suppose that's better than being jumped on...

LES: Hey, look at that witch statue! Isn't it ugly?

ANJION: (turning to look) Hey, it's the one-eyed witch! I think there's a secret passage underneath, if I remember correctly...

(She taps the statue's hump with her wand, says "Dissendium!", and the hump opens to reveal a secret passage...)

DAVID: Where does it come out?

FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY: The cellar of Honeydukes Sweetshop. Come on!

BIANKIES: (pulling Kassim, Anjion, Mac and Lacey aside) We might want to keep Omar and Babkak close. Those two are disasters in a candy store.

LACEY: Spot too.

MAC: And some of the Manhattan boys...

KASSIM: This could be a problem...

ANJION: I see your point... Well, the best thing to do would be to get out of here.

FRED: Well, you can't go back. Filch will eat you alive.

KASSIM: Hey, Omar, get back here! You too Babkak!

MAC: Tumbler! Les! Don't even think about it...

OMAR: (from the top of the stairs) Wow! Look at all these sweets!

TUMBLER AND LES: Wow! Come on, Omar, let's try them out!


BIANKIES: Okay Fred, George, will you help us get them?

LACEY: Yeah we gotta do something soon. Spot on a sugar high is scary.

FRED: We have to move fast then because they're already done with the sherbet lemons.

KASSIM: Babkak! Omar! You better stop eating candy or I'll let the blonde ferret boy turn you into something unpleasant!

DRACO: (smiling and completely missing the insult) This should be fun.

(Only Babkak, Tumbler and Les hear Kassim's warning...)

DRACO: Right! (cracks his knuckles) I'm gonna enjoy this...

(He turns Omar into a rat just as Hermione comes through the door with Crookshanks in her arms...)



HERMIONE: (as a massive chase begins) No, Crookshanks! Stop it!

SKITTERY: Oh no! It's gonna eat him! What're we gonna do?!

ANJION: Don't worry, we'll think of something...

(Just at that moment, a large, shaggy black dog bounds into the shop - causing even more havoc - and manages to herd the cat through the door...)

KASSIM: (picking up Omar) That was close...

DRACO: I didn't think she'd bring that menace of hers here...

HARRY: At least Omar turned out to be fine. Now turn him back.

(Draco performs the charm but all does not go as planned, because instead of changing Omar back into a human, the spell causes the sugar-high Spot to turn into a sugar-high Dalmatian puppy...)

LACEY: Oh great. Well, I'm not taking him for walkies!

CRUTCHIE: Look, guys, there's a strange little lady all in pink coming this way!


BIANKIES: (hiding behind Fred) Not Umbridge!

(This causes Skittery and Omar to join in the cowering.)

FRED: Are they always this cowardly?

DRACO: They are the Cowardly Trio. Does that answer your question?

LACEY: (holding onto Spot) Hey! Turn my boyfriend back into a human please. I have an idea...

HERMIONE: (reentering without Crookshanks) Let me do that. (She waves her wand with a flourish, restoring both Spot and Omar to their human selves.) There. Much better!

ANJION: Thanks Hermione. Right Lacey, do your stuff!

LACEY: (leaning closer to Spot) Hey Spot, that lady works for Hearst and I heard her saying that the Brooklyn Newsies were a bunch of no good street rats that belong in the Refuge.

SPOT: (glaring daggers at Umbridge) Oh yeah? Well she has another thing coming!

(Spot storms up to Umbridge, yelling about Brooklyn being the best and how she better leave his Newsies alone...)

LACEY: Part one complete. Part two: Beat it!

MAC: Good one Lacey! Now run!

GEORGE: You go, we'll distract her! Got the fireworks, Fred?

FRED: Yes. See you guys later.

IAGO: I'll come with you. I like things that go bang...

(And so we run off, eventually followed by a shocked Spot, until we find ourselves running into the Shrieking Shack.)

OMAR: I-I don't like it here. K-Kassim, I wanna go home...

BUMLETS: Hey, what's that? (He points at what appears to be a large, dog-like creature curled up in the corner.)

ANJION: (nervously, to Biankies) I think we should beat a hasty retreat. I think that's Lupin...

BIANKIES: (nodding vigorously) And quietly at that.

(We all back up slowly until Anjion trips over her own feet, causing the creature to stir...)

SWIFTY: Good going Stars! You woke the scary dog thing!


(The werewolf is growling in a very threatening way by now...)

JACK: (grabbing Skittery) Come on, let's get out of here!

KASSIM: (grabbing Omar) Which way? We can't risk meeting that pink woman again!

ANJION: (grabbing Biankies) This way! There's another secret passage... Comes out under the Whomping Willow...

SNODDY: The what Willow?

(We make it to the end of the passage and get out safely...)

BIANKIES: Guys, we better duck!

(The Whomping Willow starts moving threateningly... We all duck and run out of the tree's reach just before it really starts thrashing its branches about.)

SNITCH: Phew! That was close!

BABKAK: Where next?

ANJION: (with gusto, holding up an imaginary sword) To the castle!

TUMBLER AND LES: (doing the same) To the castle!

OMAR: To the castle!

(We run onwards until we crash into what appears to be a broomstick flying class...)

MADAM HOOCH: You are late for class! Grab your brooms!

(We all do as we're told. Until Spot and Jack start to show off...)

HARRY: Bad idea! Get back here!

DAVID: This cannot end well...

BABKAK: I'll get them down.

(He gets on his broom and flies upwards with surprising skill, but before he can do anything else, Jack and Spot both collide with the wall.)

ANJION: (sighing) Looks like we're off to the Hospital wing next...

MAC: (to Harry and Draco, pointing to Jack and Spot) Go get them!

DRACO: (folding his arms in protest) Why should I?

LACEY: Because I'll set Brooklyn on you if you don't!

MAC: What about Babkak?

(At this moment, Babkak slips off his broomstick and plummets downwards... straight towards Kassim...)

KASSIM: Uh oh...

BABKAK: (a few moments later) Well, at least I got a soft landing.

KASSIM: (from underneath him) Owwwww...

(Harry and Draco pick up the two unconscious Newsies and disappear while Aladdin and Mush rescue Kassim.)

ANJION: Come on, we'd better catch up with Jack and Spot...

(A few minutes later, in a random corridor)

ANJION: Mouse, do you recognise this corridor? It doesn't look at all familiar... Perhaps we should try this door...

GHOSTLY VOICE: Hey, this is a Girls' toilet, you know...

ANJION: Oh no, not Moaning Myrtle...

OMAR: (nervously) Sh-she's scary.

BIANKIES: She's not that bad.

MYRTLE: She's right. I'm only nasty to people I don't like.

OMAR: Still scary... (He hides behind Babkak.)

MYRTLE: Are you always this cowardly?

(Omar looks like he's going to start crying.)

HARRY: (reappearing) Myrtle, don't be nasty. Come on, we need to hurry or we'll be late for Defence Against the Dark Arts.

ANJION: Who's the teacher?

HARRY: Professor Lupin...

MUSH: I-Is he s-scary?

SKITTERY: Hey! I'm the cowardly Newsie!

KASSIM: (shaking his head) Why are they arguing about it? Omar's the biggest coward here.

OMAR: Hey!

HARRY: Hurry up. If we're late we'll get detention!

ANJION: Don't worry, Mush; when he's human, he's lovely. It's when he's a werewolf that you need to look out...

OMAR: W-Werewolf?!

(He tries to bolt but Babkak grabs the back of his shirt and holds on.)

ANJION: (to Biankies) I hope he's doing Boggarts today. I'd love to see what Omar's greatest fear is...

BIANKIES: Me too, but I don't want a turn...

(A few moments later)

PROFESSOR LUPIN: Welcome! Today we will be studying how to defeat a Boggart.

(He points to the large cupboard in the centre of the room, which is creaking and rattling alarmingly.)

KASSIM: What's a Boggart?

DRACO: Wait and see.

OMAR: I think I'm gonna stand over here with Mouse...

LUPIN: Ok, who's first?

(An unnamed girl steps up to the front, Lupin waves his wand to release the creature, and suddenly a large china doll with those scary eyes and a large crack in her head appears. The girl shouts "Riddikulus!" and suddenly the doll becomes a lifesized clown... and Omar bolts from the room.)

ALADDIN: Quick, after him! We don't want him lost again!

(We all dash after him and then struggle to brake when we see him standing at the end of the corridor, gazing fearfully at something in the sky; something large and green...)

ANJION: Huh? The Dark Mark? Oh no, please don't let that mean...

COLIN CREEVEY: (excitedly) The Death Eaters! There are Death Eaters here!

ANJION: (clinging to the equally frightened Biankies) Oh no... Please no...

BIANKIES: (trying to hide behind Anjion who is still squishing her) I don't like them.

RON: Don't just stand there! Come help us!

ANJION: (releasing Biankies and pulling herself together) Yes, let's help. We can be heroes for once!

JACK: (who has now recovered from his fight with the wall) Yeah, we can Strike!

DAVID: Er, Jack, I think you're missing the point...

ANJION: (waving her wand above her head) To the battle!

NEWSIES AND JACK: To the battle!


(And, yelling like a group of banshees, we charge at the gathered hoards of Death Eaters, and it isn't long before the air is filled with sizzling spells and people – good and bad alike – start falling over in many decorative ways...)

(And all the while, the three Cowards try, rather unsuccessfully, to escape...)

KASSIM: (grabbing hold of Skittery and Omar) Oh no you don't! You're part of this team!

BABKAK: (collaring Biankies) Come back here! Stars needs her partner in crime!

ANJION: Thanks Babkak! I can't be without her!

(She fires the "Stupefy!" spell at an approaching Death Eater but he somehow deflects it and it hits Kassim instead, making him go all floppy and start happily murmuring unintelligible sentences...)

ANJION: Well, that wasn't meant to happen...

BIANKIES: Let me outta here!

(She tries to run away again but ends up tripping and falling over Kassim...)

KASSIM: (becoming lucid once more) Ouch! Watch it, Mouse!

RON: (duelling fiercely with a young Death Eater) Less hiding, more fighting!

DRACO: I agree! (He turns to another Death Eater) Stupefy!

MUSH: I thought Stars and Mouse said you were one of the bad guys!

DRACO: Well, I don't think I want to follow these guys! Far too incompetent!

KASSIM: I've got an idea. Mouse, Mush and Dragon boy (points at Draco) come with me!

ANJION: (to Babkak and Race, who are fighting on either side of her) I wonder what Kassim is planning.

RACE: (casually turning another Death Eater into a toad) Whatever it is, it had better be good!

(Meanwhile, Iago and Omar are also fighting together. Or rather, Iago is fighting and Omar is waving his wand about at random... Then a rogue spell hits Iago's hand.)

IAGO: Ow! (He examines his hand.) Oh look, my finger's bleeding.

OMAR: Hey! That's my line! No fair!

KASSIM: Mouse, go get Omar, Iago and maybe Stars too, and you better hurry! Mush, go find a megaphone or something, and Blondie, you're in charge of smoke and scary things.

(A few minutes later the group return and all preparations are complete.)

OMAR: (still waving his wand) Please tell me I get to use this thing some more.

KASSIM: No, we're going to use our spooky voices. Now here's the plan...

(A few minutes later an eerie fog creeps onto the battle field...)

DEATH EATERS: (pausing) Huh? What's going on?

(Then two strange voices – one high-pitched and whiney, the other deep and growly – cut through the muffled sounds of the battle.)

LOW VOICE: Desist this madness at once!

HIGH VOICE: Or the mighty Kassim will pummel you!

LOW VOICE: (in a loud whisper) Omar, you weren't supposed to say my name! Now they know it's us!

HIGH VOICE: Sorry...

(The Death Eaters, who had been running away, turn back at this and start running towards us...)

MUSH: Here they come!

ANJION: Just as planned! Iago, do your stuff!

(Iago – who, thanks to a clever spell, can see through the fog – throws a handful of his favourite exploding powder into the midst of the Death Eaters, scattering them left, right and centre...)

VOLDEMORT: (nervously) Fight, you fools, fight!

LUCIUS MALFOY: Not when they can make us explode without wands!

SPOOKY VOICE: You'd better run!

(We all run through the hoards of fleeing Death Eaters in terribly slow motion, brandishing our wands above our heads and yelling a variety of strangely echoey battle cries. Time speeds back up just before we reach Voldemort and we all skid to a stop in front of him before moving to surround him.)

VOLDEMORT: Foolish children! You have no chance of defeating me! I will crush you!

HARRY: Stop this, Voldemort, we've got you surrounded. And your precious Death Eaters have gone.

(Voldemort looks around him and suddenly he doesn't look so confident.)

HARRY: You see? We've got you.

VOLDEMORT: Go away! Go away or I'll... I'll... I'll send you to the Refuge!

JACK: (confused and worried) There's a Refuge here too?

ANJION: (frowning) Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like Voldemort...

(She performs a revealing spell on Voldemort and it isn't long before his features start to change into those of a very familiar – and much hated – person...)

NEWSIES: It's Snyder!

(At the sound of the much hated name every Newsie (and cowardly person) tries to hide behind the Hogwarts students...)

KASSIM: Come on guys! You go on High Adventures every day, don't tell me you're scared of him!

NEWSIES: Yeah, we're scared of the Spider!

LES: He locks Newsies up for no reason!

OMAR: (confronting Snyder in a rare moment of bravery) You shouldn't lock kids up; it ain't...nice... (He quails under Snyder's glare.) I think I'm gonna go hide over here...

ANJION: (looking at Omar) Mouse, I think I have an idea...

(She goes over to Omar and whispers in his ear.)

OMAR: OK... (He stands up in one fluid moment, points his wand at Voldemort and yells...) "PETRIFIED UNCLE ALEX!"


(He lunges at Snyder in terror and nearly throttles him.)

SNYDER: (in shock) Get off! Leave me alone! H-help!

(And he turns and flees, chased by the terrified Scotsman, leaving behind a group of very relieved Newsies and triumphant students. As soon as Snyder has disappeared, everyone cheers and starts patting Omar on the back.)

BIANKIES: Well, I hate to say it but it's time to go. We gotta sell papes tomorrow.

ALADDIN: I know how we can get home.

IAGO: Are we flying again?

KASSIM: No! No flying! I refuse!

HARRY: Why? Flying isn't so bad.

SKITTERY: (nervously) You haven't flown with Genie yet.

GENIE: (popping up as usual) You called?

IAGO: (smiling with excitement) We need a lift back home.

KASSIM: (trying not to look terrified but failing) No we don't!

ANJION: Don't be silly, Kassim. Genie's going to pay more attention to what he's flying into this time. Aren't you, Genie? (She looks pointedly at him.) Besides, Iago's right, we do need a lift home.

KASSIM: No, you can't make me -

(At a signal from Biankies, Babkak and a large, burly student step up and lift the struggling Kassim onto the carpet. The rest of us quickly climb on after him and then, waving goodbye to our new friends, we fly into the portal which has conveniently reappeared and are back in Manhattan a few moments later.)

LES: Hey look, it's stopped raining!


ANJION: (who has just managed to release Biankies from Kassim's desperately tight grip) So tomorrow you'll all be back to work, right?

NEWSIES: Awwwwwww...

(And in the resulting commotion, no one notices Pie Eater eating a suspiciously pink cupcake that he stole from a certain Potion Master's classroom...)

The End


(Later, in the bunkroom at the Lodging House)

SNIPES: (unloading an armful of strange gadgets on the floor) Come on Boots! Did you get the Trick Wands?

BOOTS: (dropping another armful) Yep. I've got a Boxing Telescope too.

SNITCH: Heh, that'd be perfect for Spot...

ITEY: I've got something called a Decoy Detonator. Apparently it makes copies of itself which run off making honking noises.

SNIPES: That'll be fun!

SNITCH: Yeah! It's a pity we already used our Darkness Powder stuff...

BOOTS: But it was for a good cause...

ITEY: So, who are we giving the wands to?

SNIPES: (with a sly grin) I know just the person. (He goes to the door and calls out) Oh Omar! I've got a present for you...