17Oh crap, oh no, this ain't good. I can't believe I'm late on my fourth day already. "This is a wonderful day to be late too", I moan to myself as I hastily sprint through the neighborhood to reach school. Bag in hand and chest on fire, my feet pound the pavement with ferocity. Fate just felt like playing with me as well, as I feel droplets of rain periodically descend onto my face. I quickly glance up to see the overcast sky looming overhead, and the thought of being caught in the rain only makes me push myself harder to get to school before it was too late. I burst past a group of construction workers and ignore a crosswalk stop sign without thinking. I guess my need to get to school is greater than my self-preservation instinct as I run to the opposite side of the street, just barely missing a passing car and dodging the sweet embrace of death. The school enters my view after near death experience and I breathe a sigh of relief. 2 minutes left, I may just make it. At least my day can't possibly get more exciting.
Wrong.
I crash into my chair in homeroom, my chest set ablaze and my breath haggard. I was only able to give passing glances and waves to Ryuuji and Minori when I spotted them on the way in. I'm too exhausted to think about anything but how close I was being late in the first week of school already. A quick check reveals that Ami isn't in her seat, which puzzles me. I thought homeroom was about to start. I faceplant the desk and groan in both pain and irritation, not noticing Kitamura approaching me with a smirk on his face.
"Wow, I'm almost afraid to ask what happened to you," he chuckles at me.
"Well, for starters my alarm didn't go off…" I begin, but I decide in my head it doesn't really matter at this point. "A lot of stuff happened Yusaku. I was sure I was gonna end up late on the way here."
"Late? Don't you remember? Teach said she'd be almost twenty minutes late this morning because of something she had to deal with before school." Banging my head on the desk several times was the only response I could conceive at that moment. My heavy breathing must've also been a red flag to Kitamura.
"No offense, but you sound like you're about to keel over and pass out. Did you run all the way here?" I make a passive grunting noise in response. "Figures. Here." Kitamura rummages through his pocket before holding out his hand. Looking up, I see a few coins that look to equal out to around 300 yen. "You should go buy yourself something to drink, to help you feel better. Plus I sorta feel bad, since you just ran all this way no reason." My mind is telling me to reject the money and thank him for his kindness anyway, but I notice that I'm actually wheezing to keep my breath stable so I just accept his gift.
"Th-thanks man. I appreciate it." I cough.
"Don't worry about it. The closest vending machines are down the hall to the right."
"Near the stairs?" He nods. Awesome. Pushing myself from the desk, I tell Kitamura I'll be right back. Lazily walking out the door, I start down the hallway. I try to regulate my breathing, hoping to slow my heart rate. I listen to the sound of the rain falling against the hallway windows, hoping it helps calm me further. I round the corner at the stairs and tunnel vision the drinks in the vending machine. Admittedly this is my first time buying from a vending machine in Japan, so I have no clue what would be inside.
"Alrighty, uh. I have no clue what that is. Or that. Tea? Am I just not gonna find water or something?" I mutter to myself, fumbling with the coins Kitamura gave me. "Christ, guess I'll just wing it...oh shoot." The money slips from my hands and I make an attempt to retrieve them before they roll under the machine. My arm lunges for one of them but freezes in place. The sound of clanking metal rings in my ears. In my race to grab the coin, I see the form of someone sitting in between two vending machines, canned drink in hand. Still frozen in place, my eyes make contact with the figure, and they glare back at me.
"God, you are just a clumsy wreck are you?" Ami Kawashima coldly mutters to me.
A million things race through my head at once, and I have no ability to process any of them. My arm is still outstretched, grasping for the coin that has long drifted underneath the humming vending machine. System error, system error, variable not found. My heart rate kicks back into overdrive as my eyes lock onto hers. The look on her face is one of both confusion and ambivalence. Her violet eyes seem to pierce my very being, and I begin to feel very naked in front of her, as if she can visualize everything about me in a single glance. I retract my arm in a snap and stare at the tile floor in embarrassment. My skin starts to feel very hot and the blood flows to my cheeks.
"Uh...uh... no I'm not!" Is all my brain can say in retaliation to her statement. Ami's eyes soften as she gives me a once over. Dear god I hope I don't look like a loser to her right now. This was not how it was supposed to go. Not at all.
"You're that new transfer student right?" She asks, but this time in a much different tone. She sounds much happier and kinder, a far cry from her first words to me. Still paralyzed in fear, I don't even try to move. Ami giggles and pushes herself from her spot in between the vending machines. A feel her hand grasp mine and she smiles at me warmly.
"I remember you from earlier this week. Name is...Dominic right?" I can't feel my body. This beautiful girl is standing within inches near me, her hand in mine and I seem to have forgotten...everything. Snap the hell out of it man! NOW! My consciousness wakes me up to the situation. I can't just stand here and gawk like an idiot. I muster all I can force words from my brain into my mouth.
"Y-yeah! I'm Dominic. I'm, uh...surprised you remember." I manage to get out.
"How could I forget you? People have been talking about you all week!" My eyes shoot to my right hand, which she still has firmly between her two hands. "I'm Ami Kawashima, I've been wanting to talk to you since you showed up the other day!" My eyes light up joyfully as Ami says this, and she giggles playfully in response to my reaction.
"R-r-r-eally? I mean, like, why, no like, I'm just…" Tripping over my words like banana peels. She gently retracts her hands from mine and places them behind her back.
"What's the matter? Is something wrong?" She inquires slyly.
"N-no. Not really." I lie. My cheeks should just be skillets at this point, they're so hot right now. "I just...just, uh…."
"C'mon don't be so shy. I didn't do anything wrong did I?" Her smile forms into a sad frown.
"No! Of course not!" Blurts from my mouth. "It's just that...well..." While I'm stammering, she flashes a devious smile. There's no way I haven't been made by now. Might as well just be honest. "..I think you're really cute is all." Great. Just great. You messed up. The one chance you had, gone. Ami gives me a wide eyed stare for what feels like ages. I feel as if a thousand eyes are locked on to me at once, even though the only souls here are me and Kawashima. After what is actually four seconds, Ami gives a soft "teehee" to herself and steps ever so slightly closer to me, being only mere centimeters from my face. My heart actually stops when she does this, her intentions lost on me.
"I can tell you're blushing, you know?" She whispers to me. How the hell… "I find it so flattering that I make you act this way. It's just adorable." My brain is trapped in a cycle of being aroused and frightened. I've always thought if a girl were to approach me in such a manner, I wouldn't hesitate at the thought of going for it. Now that it's happening, I can only think about how to get out of this situation. Shoot, I need an out. Like now. Uh….Oh right!
"I. I think I'm getting a call," I sputter while slowly backing up and gliding to round the corner. "It was nice meeting you Kawashima!"
"Nice meeting you, Dominic!" She waves at me while I'm retreating. In the split second before she's out of sight I notice Ami's expression turned from her sexual deviant face to obviously irritated. I don't want to think about what just happened yet. I just want to get back to my seat in class and calm myself. Reaching homeroom once more, I notice Yuri-sensei approaching from down the hallway with a drained look on her face. I ran into the room with the rest of the students. Minori smiles at me as I pass, but I'm too frazzled to give her a smile back. I sit down at my desk and try to parse what just happened in my head.
"..." Nothing. I can't hold onto a single piece of information in my head. Static. White noise. Ami. More static. Nothing seems to fit with one another. I have never been in such a vulnerable position before, and besides Minori, I've never had a girl been so close to me like that, and Minori didn't do it on purpose! Knees weak, hands sweaty, I decide I need to talk to someone, and soon. My eyes gravitate to the front of the room where Yuri-sensei has walked inside the room, muttering under her breath incoherently. A random student greets her,
"Good morning sensei!" The teacher quickly snaps her head in the direction of the student with a twitch in her eye.
"What's so good about it huh? Is it good because you're still young!? Still have your future to look forward to? Don't have to worry about dying alone!?" I can't see the student's reaction, but I can make a pretty good guess though. Ignoring that, I retrieve a notebook and pencil from my backpack and rip a sheet of paper from the book. I quickly scrawl down my note in a hurry and fold it up three times. I need to talk to Ryuuji and Kitamura… I whisper to the person in front of me and hand them the note.
"What's the matter man? You look like you've seen a ghost." Kitamura starts when he sees me during lunch.
"You're not sick are you? We can take you to the nurse's office if you aren't feeling good." Ryuuji suggests. Both of them aren't too far off from the truth. I stand up, lean on the back wall and sigh.
"So uh, after I went to treat my case of 'not breathing' this morning, I went to those vending machines, around the corner down the hallway…." Ryuuji shuts his eyes and groans.
"Don't tell me…"
"...and I saw Kawashima there, hiding between them. And I was not ready for that."
"Yeah, that's sort of, her spot she goes to whenever she can. I guess no one told you…"
"Mhm, I guess no one did tell me…" I glare at Kitamura who awkwardly shrugs and attempts to play it off.
"Sorry man, I wasn't really thinking about her when I sent you that way."
"You told him to go there?" Ryuuji shoots at him.
"I was trying to help him out, he seemed like he was gonna die if he didn't get a drink or anything…" My look to both of them as they banter back and forth, sighing in exasperation. Kitamura faces me and continues.
"Well, what happened when you met her?"
"...eh. I don't even know." I explain the whole ordeal to the both of them. When I'm finished, Kitamura shuts his eyes and places a hand on his chin. Ryuuji shakes his head and sighs. They look at each other then back at me, and I piece it together rather quickly.
"There's something you're not telling me is there…."
"You...could say that." Kitamura relents. I notice Minori and Aisaka sitting near the front of the room with their backs to us, eating their lunch. Minori makes a quick glance back to Ryuuji, then to me with a somewhat concerned look on her face before turning around again. Ami isn't in the room, but is no doubt probably near the room in the hallway I predict. Both guys grab desks and sit down. I sit down in my desk, not knowing where this conversation could possibly go.
"So you remember how I told you me and Ami were childhood friends?" Kitamura inquires.
"You told me earlier this week, at the diner." I respond curtly.
"Well, I know we told you she's a really nice person, but...there's a bit more to it than that." He gives a deep sigh. "I'm not sure if you knew this already, but Ami's sort of a famous model." I squint my eyes at him and give him a "are you joking me?" look. His stare is stone cold, unflinching.
"...ok. You're serious…." A model? Holy hell I'm either the unluckiest person ever, the luckiest person ever, or an unhealthy mixture of both.
"Yeah. And ever since I've known her she… well she sort of has a hard time… being herself I guess? To be honest, I can't really say for sure 'which' Ami you met."
A pit in my stomach grows. That doesn't sound reassuring at all...
"So you're saying she's fake then?" I lament out loud.
"No, I wouldn't necessarily say she's fake, you've gotta understand. She really is a good person, but she's so used to pretending to be a certain way that I'm worried about her. I asked Ryuuji here to try to help break her out of her shell when I first introduced them. But…"
"I've pretty much given up on that venture." Ryuuji bluntly states. "I agree, there's probably a decent enough person under the guise she has, but you have to fight tooth and nail just to draw it out of her. It's just difficult for me to worry about that AND Taiga at the same time. It doesn't help that they hate each other to begin with."
"So Dominic, does that change anything between you and her?" Kitamura asks somewhat desperately. I fold my arms and turn away for a moment. Even after finding out that she exists on what feels like a whole other plane of existence from me, even after finding out that everything she said to me earlier could've been the biggest steaming pile of BS ever served to me, the attraction still lingers. I feel like it would be unbecoming to come off as still into her in such a drastic manner to them.
"No…no I can't say it does if I'm being real with you." I reply truthfully. I've been head over heels for Ami since I first saw her, and meeting her today was exciting. My heart is fluttering at the simple thought of her. I'm just...I don't feel confident enough yet to do anything about it, to act on it.
"I've never been able to find out why she acts the way she does, and I don't want her to end up ostracizing herself from every person she meets. Even the two girls she hangs out with, Kashii Nanako and Kihara Maya probably don't know about how she behaves yet."
"I think I catch your drift but I'll say my odds don't really seem to be stacked in my favor." I chuckle to myself at the thought of her actually being into me. "What you're asking for is a miracle. A fantasy. And I've trust me, I've lived my fair share of fantasies only for reality to rear its ugly head, with practically every girl tried to date." I look down at my desk, smiling but obviously irritable. "What would make Kawashima any different?" I bring my gaze back up to face Ryuuji and Yusaku, who've expressions have declined significantly.
"But that isn't any excuse for not trying right? Can't count me out when I haven't bet yet. She… *phew* my heart is just going right now thinking about her. If that's any indication that I'm smitten with her, I don't know what to tell you." I take a deep sigh and try to steady myself. The room is softly abuzz with other conversations besides the pitter patter of autumn rainfall beating on the classroom window. The bell signaling the end of lunch rings throughout the school and students begin raising from their seats. Why do I always do this to myself…
The last bell of the day had long since passed, and I had no intention of finishing this language arts homework at home. I'm feeling one of those "put some music on the speakers and drift off" nights. The classroom was empty, bar the rows of deserted desks and dim sunlight struggling to enter through the window blinds. The only reason it's taking me so long is because I can't keep my mind straight long enough to remember the answers I'm finding. I'm constantly having to go back and reread sentences I've been staring at for minutes, and it doesn't help that my Japanese isn't as good as it should be. Screw it, I'll figure it out some other time. Not like it's due tomorrow either way. I pummel all my supplies into my pack and sigh.
I exit the classroom and start heading for the school entrance. I have the worst luck when it comes to girls. Seems like everyone I end up liking ends up just using me, or hates me. How do I know Ami isn't that way? What am I even supposed to do about her anyway? Like, what does Ryuuji and Yusaku think I'm gonna be able to do? Ain't got the slightest idea about Kawashima, don't know what to say next time I see her, don't know anything about how to approach her...wait. Whose voice is that? I had only barely reached the shoe cupboards when I heard what sounds like a heated argument near the entrance doors. I duck back behind the stairs and strain my ears to decipher what is being said.
That's...Minori! Who is she… oh... that sounds... yeah, that's Kawashima.
"...don't understand why it matters to you. You don't even know him. Seems like you're just being nosy to me."
"Just because I don't know him that well doesn't mean I'll just sit and watch you hurt him like that. He doesn't deserve that, no one does."
"Oh that's real rich coming from you Kushieda. Maybe you should open your eyes and drop YOUR act before getting on my case about being fake!" A brief pause happens.
"This isn't about me. I don't think you know, or maybe you just don't care, how that affected him. That 'little miss clumsy' act you put on is gonna do more harm than good. You didn't hear him earlier. He… I can tell he's someone who cares. I don't know why but I just do...did you even stop to think about what you were doing? Was any of it even true?!" Another pause, this one longer than the previous.
"...what does it matter to you? I got my fun out of it, you just seem to be jealous because he's not fumbling on the floor over you. What, just because you can't have your little crush you need to implant yourself in other people's love lives? It's not like he..."
"You know that's not true. And don't try to turn this on me. If you like him then tell him. You don't need to keep this facade up. Please."
"And what if I don't like him? You realize that I've got admirers coming out of the woodwork right? What's one guy's feelings to me when ten more just like him show up everyday? What if I just felt the need to mess with him a little bit for fun?"
"...then you're an even worse person than I thought." The sound of footsteps disappearing echoes through the hallway. I had stopped breathing long ago, and now I'm just biding time until I think they've both gone. A good minute passes before I rise from my crouching position behind the stairs. I feel like the coast is clear, so I continue down the hallway to reach my shoe cupboard. Just as I pass a row of lockers, the silhouette of Kawashima is visible. She's just standing there staring outside. Before she can notice me, I head to my cupboard to switch to my outside shoes. The noise probably alerted her to someone's presence, no doubt. I move to the door, in plain sight of Ami, and I hear a slight "eek!". My hand is already on the door, and I look back at her and fix my eyes with hers. A frown forms on my lips.
"Oh! Dominic, I haven't seen you since earlier!" She scoots up to me, clasping her hands together and giving me puppy eyes. "You didn't happen to hear what just happened did you?"
"Nope."
"Oh, goodness, it was awful. Kushieda just came up to me and started accusing me of doing some awful things. I tried to explain to her that she must've been mistaken but she just wouldn't listen to me." My gaze is unwavering, still locked in place on her eyes. She grabs my free arm and grips to it tightly. "I'm not sure what her problem was to be honest. But next time she or anyone tries to make fun of me like that, could you come to my rescue? Oh, I almost forgot. Is it alright if I call you Dommy? I thought of it earlier and just felt it would be much cuter to call you that." Kawashima continues to smile at me intensely, waiting for me to respond. My mind has too many things running through it, in such a small amount of time.
"What's the matter Dommy?" Before my stupor becomes apparent to Ami, I absentmindedly release my arm from her grip and make my way through the door. "Dommy…?" Her timid voice whispers.
Before I realize it, I'm already out the door with the blankest of stares gripped to my face. I take one glance back at her, enough to see her face has dropped all pretense of innocent bystander, and she looks visibly bothered. I can't even muster any words before I slowly lumber off away from the school, leaving the entrance doors to shut on Ami, alone.
"Falling in love is one of the most painful experiences I've ever encountered. More so than a broken bone, more so than scabbed arm, more so than pouring cereal to find out you're out of milk. It's so easy to fall in love, but it's so hard to fall out of it too. You want to believe, you want to feel like you have a chance in a world so filled with strife and sadness. And you think that one person will be the one to break the status quo you've been so accustomed to. It's only when you realize just how foolish of a notion that is, that you begin to see just how alone you truly are in the world.
But even though I'm in pain, even though I feel empty right now, she still radiates in my clouded mind. Why? Why does she continue to shine even when I've seen the light for what it truly is? It is because I haven't. It's because something in my heart tells me, this isn't how it's going to end. "
"Wow this movie is lame." I laugh to myself. "Why am I even watching this?" The TV set goes dark as I kill the power with the remote. Thinking back on the day, I decided that I should talk to Minori tomorrow about what happened. And, I should confront Ami soon too. My heart goes weak thinking about Kawashima, but my brain fights hard to deny the emotions.
Dommy huh? God, even when she's playing the part she's freaking adorable.
"Hey Minori!" I call from the end of the hallway. I catch her with Aisaka in the hallways, among the hustle and bustle of students moving about. I run up to them and Aisaka gives a quick glare but my defeated expression softens her face.
"Hi Aisaka."
"Hey." She replies flatly but without malice.
Minori beams at me with her usual joyful self. "What's up dude?" She asks. I cut straight to the point.
"I need to talk to you… about something that happened yesterday." Minori's eyes light up and she darts them around quickly. She leans towards my ear, her hot pink hair brushing my face. A whisper follows,
"Not now, too many witnesses. After school, near the gate. You don't have any clubs do you?"
"That's a negative." I breathe.
"Good. Softball practice was cancelled too so we should be good."
She plants her feet again and gives me a smile. I nod and we head to class together.
I leave the school and catch the wind's cool breeze. My brow furrowed, I reach into my pack and don my burgundy scarf. I look around the courtyard for Minori, but only see numerous other students whom I don't recognize.
Where is she?
I walk aimlessly around trying to keep an eye out for her. Passing the gate into the school courtyard, I feel an arm roughly grab and snatch me over to its owner. Oh, here she is.
"Sorry about that, I just needed to make sure you weren't being followed."
"...who would be following me, exactly?"
"You never know man. Witches, ninjas, werewolves disguised as a human…" I study the girl before me with a curious look. She too must be feeling the cold weather hit, since she's dressed in a light blue jacket over her school uniform. Her face is red, though I'm not sure if it's the wind doing that or something else. We give each warm smiles before she keeps talking.
"You wouldn't mind...walking me home would you? I decided to take an extra shift today at work since practice got cancelled but I've still got an hour."
"Sure, I'm fine with that. I think I know the area well enough to get home."
"Cool, let's go." We start down the sidewalk together and I glance towards the school for a split second before facing forward again. Me and Minori are silent for what feels like a full minute, yet it's less awkwardness and more uncertainty. Neither of us really know how to start a conversation like this. This truly is a new thing for me, everything that's happened in the past two weeks has been a rush. Finally, I attempt to break the silence.
"So…uh…I hear you work a few part time jobs?"
"Mhm, I'm a little bit of a workaholic, but the money is definitely worth the trouble. I do that and try to balance my love for softball and my schoolwork, with varying degrees of success sometimes heh…"
"Man, I wish I had your drive." I confess. "Just getting anything done for me is like a dramatic life or death battle."
"I wouldn't worry about it too much yet dude. We all find our different ways of being inspired. It's never easy, and everyone's been there." Minori explains.
"...well you sound convincing enough," I laugh. "Must be true." I look at her to see she has a modest smile on her face, but she otherwise doesn't say more. Hey, dude, remember why you're here. Oh right. I take a deep breath, and try to ignore my beating heart.
"Well, I assume you overheard me talkin' to Ryuuji and Yusaku during lunch yesterday."
"Mhm. Your voice is sorta distinct like that, like you've got subwoofers in your throat. Plus, you weren't being the quietest you could've been." Minori jokes.
"Ugh… it's more curse than blessing I guess. But, it's not even just that. I uh, overheard you and Kawashima after school too…" Minori attempts to look away from me but can't bring herself to do so for very long.
"To be frank, getting to see her again, to see even more of 'her' was an experience, even though that wasn't why you did it, I'm positive of that." We reach a crosswalk and I hold an outstretched arm in front of Minori while I check both sides of the street before returning my arm to its pocket and nodding we can advance. She gives me a curious look, like what I did was something odd. I pick up where I left off.
"So the million dollar question is, 'why?'. I hope I'm not prying too much by asking, though it'd be really nice to know why you put yourself out there. Surely you didn't do it for me. Everyone of you has been ridiculously kind to me since I got here but that...I simply can't believe somebody would do that for me."
"...mhm." She mumbles.
"'Mhm?', I'm not sure I know what that's supposed to entail."
"Of course I did it for you." Minori hesitates. "I mean, I did it for you, and...me." Her voice quivers. She closes her eyes and seems to be fighting tears.
"I heard you, telling the others how she spoke to you, and I knew", she snaps her finger, "just like that what she was doing to you. Kawashima was playing with you like you were some sort of chew toy she could have her way with, and that just, pissed me off. I couldn't even eat my lunch. I was so… PISSED OFF just thinking about it." She clenches her fist, her eyes full of vigor and fire. Why though? I think.
"You wanna know why it bothered me so much don't you." She quipped, as if she can read minds. "It's...it's….I couldn't stand the thought of her treating you like that. You seem like such a nice guy, someone who doesn't deserve to be used like that. When you told us about yourself at Johnny's the other week, I was excited for you when you told us you had a crush on her. It was so sweet, and I thought for a second about, you know if it worked. But it was probably stupid of us to think she'd be open with you. When I confronted her about it, when she told me her version of it, it just made me hate her even more."
"Why's that? She was obviously just wearing the mask, playing up her attraction to mess with me. It's sorta what happens, the girl almost never means anything by it, and I sincerely, no, I'm throwing down huge bets that she doesn't feel anything for me. Just like you said, I'm a chew toy for fun." I jest half heartedly. Minori though, doesn't laugh, she just shakes her head and I can see her eyes welling up.
"I don't know if I'm glad to say it, or angry as hell, but you're wrong."
Ok hold the phone. I'm not sure what she just said to me. I feel like, yeah, can we get an instant replay on that? Oh? She said Kawashima wasn't messing around and that...whatever that was last week was for real?
"You can't be serious. I didn't know we were still joking here. We are still joking right? C'mon stop playin' around Minori what is this?"
"Kawashima is so damn awful at being direct... That's what hurt me the most when I talked to her."
"I guess I'm not following you at all Minori." This is really confusing.
"Ami… likes you too Dominic. She gave some stupid excuse about how 'she wouldn't be caught dead with someone like you'. At the same time, she wanted to get whatever enjoyment she could out of how you reacted to her, because in her mind, somebody like her doesn't deserve happiness. She's playing with your heart, and pisses me off." I'm silent for a few minutes after that just so I can parse what was just told to me.
"What you're telling me is that Ami Kawashima, model superstar, was almost sorta maybe totally is flirting with me, like for real?" Minori nods solemnly and she repeats,
"She's convinced her feelings are a mistake. What bothered me the most was how nonchalantly she was willing to just...toy with you instead of being honest about her feelings towards you." We stop walking and I look up at where we are. Must be her house. Minori slides in front of me and focuses on the ground in front of me. Even throughout this...almost ridiculous revelation, Minori never explained her stake in this.
"I just wanted her to be honest is all, to stop hiding behind her wall, just like what Kitamura and Takasu wanted." Can you really read minds?
"...there's something more to it Minori." I stated. Even though she's looking down, I can see anguish in her eyes like she lost someone she loved.
"...let me just say this. If you saw someone who had a shot at happiness, and you know you couldn't have it, would you be mad at them for not taking advantage of it? Kawashima is sitting on chance right now, and she's too much of a prideful bitch to do anything about it. If it was easy for me to be with the one I love I would jump at the chance, but it's too late for me, but not for her…"
And then, the tears. The same girl who greeted me not too long ago with such extreme energy and life now looks powerless in front of me, and I'm powerless to help her.. Her whimpers sink my heart down in the pits, and the tears running down her red hot cheek only further make me feel like I don't know what to do or say to cheer her up. Everything happening is on a list of firsts for me, and I'm in the dark, so the only thing I can do is wing it. I approach Minori, and do the only thing I can think of. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. I half expected her to push me away, proving I made a bad call. She didn't though. She embraced me in kind, and I stared at the neighborhood in front of me without a word. I was going to give her as much time as she needed, I wanted her to be alright. Still pressed against my chest, she apologizes to me,
"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to see me like this. Everyone sorta sees me and goes 'Hey it's Kushieda! Such a ray of sunshine and flowers!' when sometimes I'm just as lost as everyone else. I couldn't help myself."
"There's nothing you need to apologize for. You did me a huge favor by doing what you did."
She raises herself from my chest and gives me a meek smile, tears still lingering on her face. I give her the best smile I can in return.
In that moment, it was as if all the anxiety that I had built up inside myself for days upon days just rushed out of me. This is just becoming a world of firsts for me. My mind wanders for but a split second, but my heart reminds me why that would be wrong and why it would be a foolish endeavor. Kawashima is the girl who stole my heart and is holding it hostage. And if what Kushieda says is true, then a chance at sharing it with her is possible.
"...plus, you're already in love with someone else, aren't you?" I murmured out loud to her. I feel like she knew what I was thinking at that moment. Minori nods her head and answered back,
"Mhm. I've felt that way about them for a long time. And even if I can't have them, I still need to be there for them. But you can still be with the person you want to be with, Ami. And if you need help with anything about her, if you can find me, I'd be glad to help you out."
"I'll take you up on that offer, maybe…" I acknowledge. We release our embrace from one another, though we both keep a hand clasped together as I check the time on my phone. I became aware of my surroundings again, after what felt like the world stopping around me. The chill breeze starts to affect me once more and I shudder from the cold.
"You have work soon right?" I interject.
"Yeah, I've got like half an hour."
"Hm. I guess, I'll take this opportunity to make my way home." I release my hand from hers and give her one last smile. "I'll make sure this conversation doesn't leave the two of us, kay?"
"It's probably for the best." Minori agrees and waves to me. "See ya at school tomorrow, Dominic." I begin backing up in the direction we came from and give a wave back before facing the other way. Before long, besides the sound of the wind and the honking of horns in the distance, I am alone once more. I rest my hands in my coat pockets and snug my face into my scarf to fend off the chill. I journey back to my apartment, thinking about my next course of action and ready to attack the coming weeks without hesitation. For the most part.