Disclaimer: Although disclaimers are legally worthless, let's mention that this chapter is based on the episodes "Café Disaffecto" and "Malled" (Daria's first season)
Synopsis: Daria is back at Ilvermorny after a weird trip on the campus where her parants met, and is on the verge of discovering things about herself, but mostly about others *shivers*
Release: July 2018


"Tell me, Daria," Jane started asking while working on a concept art supposedly for O'Neil's new pet project, "was your trip back in Europe as inspiring as I expect it to be?"

"If you ever get stuck on a hovering rock with people barely able to communicate together and still find it soul refreshing, than I guess it is," said Daria as she got more confortable on Jane's bed in the Thunderbird dorm, "than again, prison experience is as much thrilling and is easier to reach."

"I don't think I would like to live on flying grounds. Things always tend to go awry in this kind of place."

"That's the whole point. One day I'll get my own flying castle, and whenever my mad potions experiments get out of hand, I'll just have to fly away from the released toxic fumes."

"Remind me that when I plan to leave Casa Lane," said Jane as she applied magic infused paint on her canvas, "So, what are you doing for the new student coffee house?"

Daria frowned. "Maybe I could start on that toxic potion right now."

"Bad idea. O'Neil would find a way to leave a ghost in Ilvermorny."

Daria shuddered, imagining a ghost of O'Neil harrassing esteemers through the school grounds. "No mass-murdering, than."

Back in her own dormitory, Daria pondered what to do for the opening ceremony of the coffee house. Those few hours back in europeen company only reinforced her lack of interest for student festivities.
Daria looked over the few stories she had written during her free time since she turned 15; none of them fitted Ilvermorny's crowd. Dear Merlin, why did she felt the need to talk during O'Neil's turmoil? Jane's words came back to her mind: "you gotta give them something they'll really appreciate. Picture Kevin and Brittany drinking in your words like an elixir of knowledge. Heady... potent... seductive. "
Daria took a regular quill from her eagle engraved calligraphy case, prepared to vomit something which hopfully wouldn't look like one of Fifi LaFolle's plots.

So, Daria wrote about a 1940s gifted Ilvermorny student who was entrusted by the I.C.W. to enroll Durmstrang and spy the ongoings there for them.

"A teen spy story. Really." said Jane while looking over her elbow one day.

Daria looked at her thunderbird friend with an unreadable expression.

"Although, I could picture DiMartino entrusting Kevin with some kind of suicidal mission," further commented Jane.

"I stopped caring height drafts ago. Much like the I.C.W. did during chapter 2."

Jane took one of the pages to have a closer look. "You're too subtle, Kevin won't be able to understant this is about your crush on my brother."

"Shut up." Daria forcefuly took the page back, and piled up her work to store it away.

The days preceding the inauguration of the Student Coffee House went by. Daria had finished to put together the little novella she'll read during that evening, and she couldn't wait for this to be finaly over. Since the event took place on a saturday, that left the older students time to go to Flitchburg for a few hours. Jane and Daria went out for a slice of pumpkin pie.
From their seats in the Flitchburg tavern, the two marginal students could see a few wizarding shops through the 18th century window. With the amount of students shopping in the small street at the same time, it was difficult to tell what kind of shops were there. She would have to navigate through the mob to find a place selling quills and ink before tonight. Maybe if she had tried to order this obliging dutch house-elf to pledge her loyalty to her family, she could have fresh ink and paper everyday delivered on her desk, and not feel like O'Neil made her waste her time in addition to her ressources.

"Someone let the Beauty Scourers loose on the street."

Daria raised her eyebrows at hearing that her little sister was there. Quinn wasn't supposed to go shopping until she managed to get better grades.

"Hmm, blackmail material. My day just brightened."

"What d'ya expect to extort from her?" asked Jane in disbelief. The only thing Quinn could provide was either her absence or a makeover.

"Damn. You're right," Daria realised. She may not be Merlin's next incarnation on Earth, but still... "Remind me nonetheless to ask for a pensieve next time my mother wants to bribe me."

Jane snorted. "Alright. I can already picture you going through shelfs full of memory vials in your dark chamber of secrets."

Daria spilled her drink, reminded of the words written in blood on a wall, back in Scotland. A huge laugh exploded behind her, followed by the arival of the Wampus Quodpod's star, Keven Thomson. Diaria met his stupid gaze as he was saying something her way.

Daria was taken by the foreign belief that she just made an exellent joke. Suddenly she was on a flying broomstick, doing loops in front of a crowd cheering her. Everybody loved her. She was so beautiful, so funny, so proud of herself. And so sexy. Chicks loved her. Maybe she should have a three-way with Brittany and Angie. Or with Nickie. A blond and a brunette would be awesome. Maybe he could have a threesome with Angie and Nickie...

Kevin suddenly turned his head toward a group of girls from the Wampus Squad, and left. Daria was blushing, probably ashamed of spilling her drink, thought Jane. The picture of Daria blushing in front of Kevin would have been funny though. Now that was a good blackmailing material!

"Are you having kinky daydreams?" Jane asked tauntingly.

"I'm goint to throw-up on you," Daria replied flatly, "and then put my memory of the last minute in a vial, burry it in a pit in Centralia, and never think about it ever again."

"Ah, if you do get that opportunity, I'd like to get out what Upchuck said. You'll get to fish that out of my mind too."

"Which instance should you get rid of exactly?" Daria grimaced.

"Everything since third year, if that's possible."

"Poor ashwinders. They realy don't deserve that."