Chapter 1: Prologue

A/N: This story is AU and features lots of OOC (think Star Trek episode: Mirror, Mirror) for some; okay, a LOT of characters. It is also based on the first chapter of LordFira's Harry Potter: Whiskey Accident and is done so with his permission. Thank you, LordFira. Special thanks to Slytherin Tonks, relff and Perseus Potter-Black for the much-appreciated help and input.

Summary: A drunken night of celebration. A marriage contract. What could possibly go wrong? (Harry P./N. Tonks/Fleur D./Susan B./?/?/?)

Disclaimer: All characters, etc. owned by J.K. Rowling. She owns it, The Precious…




~ Prologue ~

Watching fathers celebrate their newborn children can be an entertaining sight, especially when one of the fathers happens to be the Lord of The Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. James Potter was in a pub with three of his friends, who also turned out to be Lords in their own right. There was Sirius Orion Black, Jean-Luc Delacour. Jean-Luc is a former French hit-wizard.

Lord Delacour had been sent to assist the British during the War against Voldemort, where he has already had to take up arms several times with his friends. Indeed, James, Jean-Luc, and Sirius fought together and saved each other's lives numerous times, alongside Edgar Bones, thanks to a certain Dark Lord who goes by "Voldemort".

Sirius, showing his wicked marauder streak, insisted that Voldemort was instead called "Moldy Shorts". This made the Dark Lord incredibly mad. Of course, in retaliation, the name was tabooed. Sirius now insists on calling him the Dark Wanker. But enough history, let's see what's happening now, shall we?

"Well, guys, I can't believe I have twins!" said James.

"Quel était leur nom à nouveau?"

"Dammit, Jean-Luc, we speak ENGLISH in England!" replied a nearly inebriated Sirius. Jean-Luc glared at his drunk friend and asked again.

"What were zheir names again?"

"My boy's name is Harry James and Lily named our little girl Hermione Jean."

"'er-'ermynin-Mininie?" Jean-Luc slurred.

"HERMIONE JEAN, ya drunk Frenchman," yelled an indignant James.

"I AM NOT DRUNK!" Taking a moment to count just how many empty bottles sat in front of him, which was certainly no small task, Jean-Luc conceded, "Okay, maybe just a leetle."

"You know what would make this better?" Everyone turned to look at the new speaker, ignoring the passed out Remus Lupin, Lucius Malfoy and Peter Pettigrew. "If we were family!" exclaimed Edgar. "Then we can do this all the time!"

"But we're like family already, aren't we?" questioned Sirius.

"The mutt's right, Edgar."

"I know that! But let's make it official!" Edgar said excitedly. "We can use contracts!"

"Zhat's not a bad idea, I can promise my daughter Fleur," replied Jean-Luc.

"Brilliant! I can sign my daughter Susan! What about you, Sirius?"

A surprised looking Sirius replied, "You know I don't have any kids, but my cousin Andi's got a daughter, Nymphadora."

Jean-Luc turned and looked at James. "Well?"

"Alright, I'll promise Harry. That's it."

"Okay, let's do this! Now we need something to write on…" Grabbing a paper towel, James began:

I, James Charlus Potter, do on this date of October 31st 1980 enter the House of Potter into contracts of marriage with the Houses of Black, Bones and Delacour. By midnight of his fourteenth year, Harry James Potter, son of James Charlus Potter, Lord Peverell, shall be wed to the daughters of Houses Black, Bones and Delacour as agreed to by Lord Sirius Orion Black, Lord Edgar Bones and Lord Jean-Luc Delacour As with the old traditions of our families, should the agreed upon parties not be wed, may each House fall to ruin, their Magic lost and their Lives shall be forfeit. So Mote It Be.

Signed by: James Potter and Sirius Black, Edgar Bones and Jean-Luc Delacour.

Witnessed by: Remus Lupin, Lucius Malfoy and Peter Pettigrew.

So writing on a paper towel, the 4 men began a process that would change the lives of quite a few women and one young man. Each of them called their House elves, and the elves were asked to bring the lord's seals. The contracts were then signed and sealed and a single house elf was then told to bring the 'the four way contract' to the goblins. The contracts were almost thrown away by the Goblins; however, the presence of the House Seals prevented them from doing so. Although written on a paper towel, with seals of a Lord stamped on the paper towel, the 'contract' was as good as any written on a parchment.

Ragnok shook his head as he read the paper tow - erm, 'contract' and wondered if the young Lord Potter and his friends have just lost their collective minds. Wizards are such strange beings, thought Ragnok as he filed copies of the 'contract' away in their families' respective files.

Basking in the glow of their genius, the idea of them being family, they forgot one thing: they already WERE family. Okay, distantly related. But that shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, right? They were going to be FAMILY through their kids.

Sirius had betrothed his own niece.

James had promised his only son. If he had betrothed his daughter, James was positive he'd never be able to father children ever again; even drunk, he had managed to retain a single ounce of common sense.

Edgar and Jean-Luc had each betrothed their eldest daughters to Harry.

IF our geniuses had bothered to actually have written that down on the 'contract', things might go as planned…but even fate, sometimes, has a sense of humor.

(Slytherin Tonks A/N: Does the name Jean-Luc ring a bell? Think Star Trek!)