A/N: I've read self-insert fics before, and yet the only one I can name off the top of my head is Reiteration by Phailen. Now that's a self-insert fic. Sure, it's OC as well, but still. Best one there is out there, really.
Anyway…I figured I'd give it a try.
Here we go.
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY.
I sat across my tablet (with keyboard attachment) with arms crossed as I glared at what I was currently writing.
The next chapter for my Winter Knight story, a "crack" ship fic, according to everyone else anyway, that ships Jaune Arc and Winter Schnee.
Despite announcing to the readers of this story that a poll would decide whether I continue, reboot, or discontinue it, I couldn't help but give it one final try due to all the reviews from those that want me to continue it.
What can I say? I try to please everyone.
And yet…I was once again drawing a blank.
Goddamn it! Why did this have to be so hard?! It's just a freaking birthday party! As well as Winter meeting Jaune's family!
I sigh. Maybe I'll try another time.
I close the Microsoft Word file and open another for one of my other stories.
The Idiot, The Assassin, The Fighter, and The A.I.
Oh, how I enjoyed writing this OC story of mine. It's my pride and joy. You would think it should be my Winter Knight fic or my RWBY: Markiplier fic since they have the most follows and favs out of all my stories.
Nope. It's my OC story. So much shit is going to happen in that story that I can't contain my excitement! Especially when my OC's get to certain parts in canon! Like how I plan to have the idiot, Jason Jones, get involved in the Qrow vs. Winter fig-.
Eh, this is just my mind. Not like the readers will know what I'm thinking.
Alright, let's see how I should do this….
Hmm, should I have the idiot fight Weiss or Blake in combat class? On the one hand, Weiss probably wants payback for being called an idiot by the idiot. On the other hand…Jason hates ninjas, or better yet, fighting ninjas, and Blake's basically a ninja….
On second thought, let's put a pin on this for now. It's three in the goddamn morning and I need to sleep.
I close the file, remove my pen drive, which contains all my stories, and shut off the tablet. I move the table stand my tablet is on away from my bed and unconsciously put my pen drive in my pocket.
I let out a yawn. I seriously need to stop staying up so late.
Well, I guess it's time for bed.
I lay down in my bed, though it is half an hour later before sleep claims me.
Oh my god! What is wrong with me?!
I sat up, a hand clutching at my chest. There's a pain that I've never felt before, and I don't like it.
I…I don't understand. This…pain. It's u-unbearable!
Wait…was I…was I having a heart attack?!
Tears flowed out of my eyes as I struggled off the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thump. Oh god, please let my mom have heard that.
I…I d-don't wanna die.
My hand reached up to my bed, where I knew my IPhone was. I just needed to call my mom in her room. She'll wonder why I called her, and come in here and find me in my current state, then call an ambulance.
I finally find my phone and shakily type in the passcode to unlock it. I enter the Contacts app, and quickly scroll to my mom's number, labeled "Mother".
Just as I'm about to push the number to call her, another pang of pain hits my chest, this one making me gasp and drop my hand.
More tears flow.
Please god…d-don't let me die!
I make one last attempt towards my IPhone, my finger shakily reaching out to the call button….
A final pang hits my chest, and my hand falls to the floor a centimeter from my only chance at life.
Darkness claims me.
"Wake up, young man."
My eyes groggily open to find nothing but white. I would assume I'm in a hospital, but this is too much white, even for that place.
I slowly sit up to find…more white.
Seriously, where the hell am I?!
"You are not in hell, young man. Nor heaven."
I quickly turn to find a fat, bald Asian man sitting cross-legged on the…floor? The color white is everywhere, so I don't know. This guy's wearing an orange robe and…wait.
"Are you the freaking Buddha?!"
The man smiled. "I am."
Oh my god. I can't believe it…wait a minute. I'm Catholic!
"You are in Purgatory, young man," the (freaking) Buddha stated.
Purgatory? So…I'm dead?
SON OF A BITCH!
Damn it all! Death by heart attack!
Great. My mom's going to feel so vindicated! She kept warning me about laying off the high-sodium foods. Increase my blood pressure and all that. How if I get diabetic, I'd have to get a lot of shots. I don't like shots. Not to mention how I'd have to get my fingers or toes cut off if I don't make sure to take the insulin, assuming I became diabetic.
But noooooo. I kept thinking "I know what I'm doing." And look at me now?
Damn it! So much I didn't get to do! Or see!
And…oh god, my mom. My dad, my brothers, my grandmas from both sides….
One was five, the second three, and finally…the baby, not even a year old.
And now I wouldn't get to see them again. None of them.
I sink to the floor(?), the realization kicking in. Tears stream down my eyes, hitting the floor(?).
How will they feel?
My nephews…they won't get to see their understanding uncle again.
A hand rests upon my shoulder. "Rise now, young man. For your life may have ended…you have another chance to live another."
I turn my tear-stricken gaze to the Buddha as he smiles. "H-How?"
I turn to where he gestures and find what appears to be a wheel straight out of that game show Wheel of Fortune, only its standing upright instead of flat on the ground.
"Spin the Wheel of Reincarnation for a chance at a new life."
I feel like I've seen this somewhere. Maybe on a parody show?
I shakily get up. "I-I guess."
As I'm about to spin it…I realize something.
"Wait a minute…this is Purgatory, right?"
"And you're the Buddha?"
"…What the hell are you doing here?! This is blasphemous on both religions!"
I may be Catholic, but I haven't been much into the religion. I still believe in God and Jesus and all that, but I've hardly show it, or gone to church for that matter.
Still…I know enough to remember that the Buddha and Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory are from two different religions!
The Buddha simply smiles.
"…Spin the Wheel of Reincarnation."
I gawked. He just completely ignored my question.
"Hey! Don't ignore my question!"
"Spin the Wheel of Reincarnation."
"Now wait just a-!"
"Spin. The. Wheel. Of. Reincarnation."
The smile suddenly didn't seem so friendly.
Oh shit. Uh…wait, there's nothing to worry about. One thing I remember about Buddhism is that pacifism is included…I think. Not like I tried to fully understand it. Only heard about it on some TV show.
Still, he won't hurt me….
Then again, he could probably banish my soul to hell if he wanted to.
Gulping, I place my hand on the wheel to spin it, gazing at the many options to be reincarnated into….
One caught my eye instantly.
"Oh boy! I hope I land on Christina Hendrick's bra!"
The Buddha sighs. "Everyone wishes for that one."
The fact I'm hoping to be reincarnated as Christina Hendrick's bra probably doesn't paint a good picture of me….
Don't judge me! This is an opportunity of a lifetime! Well, for a new lifetime, but still! Anyone would wish for this!
I spin the wheel with vigor, watching as the wheel goes round and round…then begins to slow.
I hop in place as the wheel continuously slows. The arrow clicks on each pin, until the wheel slows even further.
The arrow slows to Christina Hendricks bra-
OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME-!
The arrow flips past it to the choice above it: A simple farmer...
Rather than feel the overwhelming and over-exaggerating sadness at missing out on every man's hopes and dreams, I feel completely confused.
Why was this a choice on the Wheel of Reincarnation?
"From time to time," the Buddha began. "I tend to have one of the choices based on the thoughts of the person spinning the wheel. You, my friend, are one of the lucky few to land on that type of choice."
My mind was in overdrive.
I'm…I'm going to Remnant? The world of RWBY?
YES! HOLY CRAP! THIS IS AWESOME!
Forget what I said about Christina Hendrick's bra! That was a moment of weakness. This is OVER 9000 times better!
Sure, I'm gonna be a farmer, but hey, I've always wondered what my life would be like if I didn't have technological commodities to distract me and did an honest day's work.
Oh well. Time to be a farmer!
I look to the Buddha. "So, how does this work? Do I just stand here and-?"
I suddenly wink out of existence, the last thing I see being the Buddha smiling.
A/N: And we go. Hope this was an interesting start.
You may not believe me, but I don't plan on making myself OP. No one on Earth will compare to the Huntsman and Huntresses of RWBY. No one on Earth can.
Still…whether I get an Aura or Semblance is up for debate. I would need it to survive, after all.
Also, this will basically be how I make my own way through Remnant. Whether I follow the path of all the other self-insert writers and go to Beacon and pair myself with one of the main characters...allow me to state my age for the records...
Of course, I could go the bullshit route and regress myself back to 17...but I like to think that a self-insert means inserting the current me, rather than past me.
But hey, this fic is experimental, after all. And I still plan to meet the RWBY characters. Just not in the usual way of becoming a student at Beacon.
Fair warning: I may insert myself a few years before canon, just so I can do a whole chapter of me getting used to life on Remnant so that I can move on to canon real quick. Don't hold me to this, though, because I may change my mind.
By the way, virtual cookies to whoever can guess where I got the idea for the Buddha and the Wheel of Reincarnation in Purgatory.
If you want to see where this goes, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review telling me what you think of this.
See you in the next update.