I am new at making Undertale stories but I thought I would take a crack at it, this is just to see how people will react to this story if I decide to continue it. I will make longer chapters than this but I would also like help with puns and jokes I could possibly put in the story, I only have very few moments of genius puns I can come up with. Also please tell me if I portrayed any characters wrong, I like to keep as close to how the character would act. If I have any other issues concerning my story as well please tell me, I'm open to criticism to help improve the story.
Please review or PM and tell me how this story is going!
~Chapter 1~ (Sans' P.O.V.)
I knew it would have never worked out. Asgore still loved Toriel and vice versa. Years have passed since Toriel turned down my feelings gently, but the hole in my heart burned. If I had a heart that is… Where did I put that thing?...
Rolling over in my bed in despair I thought up puns I could use in the future to cheer me up. Sighing deeply, I soon realized that nothing really… mattress. I snort at my own bad pun I thought up, that was bad even for me. Suddenly I heard a knock at the door and a boisterous voice cry out, "Sans! Won't you come with me somewhere!"
I lazily slip off the bed and yell out, "Sure thing bro."
Anything to get my mind off these thoughts. Creaking the door open and shuffling out to follow Papyrus, we leave the house into the warm underground atmosphere. It's not bad being stuck down here underground, I quite enjoy the monsters and some company. It's somewhat peaceful when Undyne and Papyrus aren't making spaghetti. Toriel and Asgore were finally on speaking terms and that kid seemed to be happy staying with them all those years ago. I wonder how long it has been since I last saw them. Feeling guilt slip inside me for not visiting them I lose myself in a daze when I hear Papyrus exclaim.
"SANS!" I hear my name and snap out of my trance and look at him slightly confused
"Yeah, what's up bro?" I asked as Papyrus stands still in the middle of the road, arm outstretched pointing at something. I look in the general direction and see a rock laying on the side.
"Papyrus, that is a rock." I reply feeling some dejavu coming back
"Oh." The lanky skeleton replies putting his arm down and continuing past a familiar looking monster in a striped shirt and heading farther down the misty road.
I stand there in disbelief seeing her all grown up right in front of me. Her now grown out long hair cascaded down her shoulders and wore a short mini jean skirt with high top sneakers. Looking at her quite confused she giggled at me as Papyrus came running back full speed making and abrupt stop in front of us.
"SANS, THIS IS A HUMAN!" He cried out as I looked at him comically
"Why it is, doesn't she look familiar?" I replied to Papyrus as he continues to yell
"WHY IT CAN'T BE! NYEH HEH HEH!" The lanky skeleton exclaimed circling and examining the human, "WHY IT IS! SANS IT IS FRISK!"
"Really? I thought it was a plate of spaghetti." I sarcastically say as Papyrus turns to me dead serious
"NYEH! HOW ON EARTH DID YOU CONFUSE A HUMAN WITH A NICE DELICIOUS PLATE OF SPAGHETTI?!" Papyrus exclaims as I shrug my shoulders, my hands in my signature blue jacket.
"Her hair is like angel hair pasta?" I said as Papyrus looks at the human's hair
"SO IT DOES!" He exclaims touching her hair and playing with it, "AREN'T YOU THE HUMAN WHO INSISTED ON GOING OUT WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS MANY YEARS AGO?!"
She quietly nodded yes giggling every so often at us two boneheads.
"SEEMS YOU COULDN'T RESIST THE GREAT PAPYRUS' CHARM! I DO NOT BLAME YOU HUMAN, FOR I CAN NOT EITHER! NYEH HEH HEH!" The cosplaying superhero skeleton soon pulls out a mirror and admires himself, "I AM QUITE RAVISHING!"
With that the narcissistic skeleton ran off down the road watching himself. I look at Frisk who watched Papyrus running off into the distance and then turn to me smiling. She has grown quite a lot since last time we met, I was still taller but now only by a few inches. Frisk giggled as she watched me silently then finally broke the silence by saying, "You're losing your touch Sans."
I scoffed at her accusation, "I am not! I make great puns still."
Though I knew it was a lie, I had sulked for so long I lost my touch at making puns. I could have come up with better material than I had. Looking back at her, I saw her smile that seemed so bright in my eyes. I never noticed it before now…
"Sans?" I hear my name call me out of my trance once again
"Oh sorry about that, started thinking about food. A hotdog seems good right about now, why not join me at Grillby's?" I offered as she gratefully nodded
Escorting her to Grillby's, I show her another quick shortcut and end up there almost instantly. Opening the door for her, she enters the restaurant and makes her way to a stool near the counter. I walk up closely behind and tell Grillby I'll have my usual. Frisk gives her order and we strike up a small conversation.
"How have you been the past few years?" I say nervously as she smiles warmly at me that it could make me melt
"Fine, Toriel and Asgore are getting along great now. I believe they'll be back together in no time now." She says smiling but my heart feels as though it's being ripped to pieces. Toriel liked listening to my puns and jokes and would even reply with witty comebacks. I had fallen for her not only for that but her kind heart, Asgore is a very lucky monster to have swept her off her feet.
I sighed sadly and Frisk must have noticed because she then said, "Seems the flame in your eyes has gone out, you alright?"
Glancing at her I see her warm smile almost fix my broken heart as I reply, "Nothing Grillby can't fix."
Grillby walked up with our orders and set the plates in front of us as I chowed it down in seconds. Frisk was taking small bite unlike me and enjoying the food. Seeing her face light up every so often gives me a weird warm feeling in my bones. Was there really a flame swelling inside me or was I just that hot? Ah my horrible jokes to comfort me. I really do need to brush up on them though.
I watched Frisk hoping she wouldn't catch me as I felt my face start to burn up as well. Quickly looking around for something I glance down at my reflection on my phone and see my face turning blue. Oh no.