AN: well hello agian, here is some bullshitery from Arma3 courtesy of Sovite Womble/ Zero Fucks clan. This is a bit long just because of all the jump cuts, so try reading through it. oh next up is a Bloodborn trailer of an unknow type and check out my auther page for a quick poll if you have the time. (Y'all might want to watch this before hand if you've never played ArmA, search up ArmA3 Bullshittery #2)
Ruby handed the scroll off to her sister. "Don't Pick something that ends with a T, so far they have all been trailers." Informed Weiss. Yang began looking scrolling through the sizable list she settled on something called ArmA 3 BS #2 Clicking on the video she tossed it up to the main screen.
"We all got one, yeah?" A green tinged screen showed a man on a quad bike. Several more were behind him. Various HUD elements filled the screen. And to confirm what he was saying the words appeared in big white letters on the center of the screen.
The convoy took off. "No ramming each other OFF THE ROAD."The second vehicle had just smashed into the first.
"WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY!"
"Well that was great timing." Commented Weiss. Yang internally winced at the language.
The man was now driving through a forest. A different man was saying something. "Though we walk the the shadow of darkness we shall fear no evil."
Soviet said. "Isn't that the German nation anthem?"
"How could that be an anthem? It sounds more like that one prayer Adam kept saying." Said Blake.
"Dumb mistake?" Supplied Ruby.
Now in bright daylight we could observe the wild Cyanide. Dressed in a flight suit with helmet and cradling a MXC. He began to lean back and forth while singing. "Helmet. Helmet Heellmet." He ran off towards a row of ATVs.
"Im going to ride into battle on an ATV with this helmet." Starting the engine he shouted. "onwards glorious steed." Followed by a few sound effects. Nearing the gate he swerved to avoid crashing "oh shit, there people at the gate. Oh god. Ahh pro driving there." The white lettering continued to illustrate his progress behind the sandbag wall. "Ah! Ohh, ow." Followed by the sound of metal impacting something solid.
"Cyanide, what's wrong with him?"
"Many things too many to list.
"Did he just crash that thing?" Asked Yang
"Why was he wearing a flight suit as a ground troop? Let alone the ATV thing." Said Blake.
Weiss said "I think he's just retarded."
"Weiss that's mean!" Childed Ruby.
Now Womble was shooting at a helicopter. "Helicopters landing troops."
He pulled out a launcher of some kind and began loading the missile. Someone said" Troops are on the ground." .After aiming and getting the tone he fired. Looking at his HUD the girls could see he had only a single rocket in the tube.
"Why does he only have one missile?" Asked Ruby. "You'd be completely defenseless after you fired."
"Look how his hand is though. That's one big missile. You could easily knock out a tank with that let alone a bullhead." Noted Blake "it even says AT." She pointed to the upper corner.
The missile flung itself down rang and into the helicopter over the hill. They were greeted by a bright flash and a plume of dirt as the missile went off. "Shit! warn us next time." Someone else piped up. "That still only counts as one." Laugher filled the air.
"I don't get it." Said Ruby.
the rest of the team coursed. "Second."
Now back the green tinge of night vision the squad was running at a base. Looking up a plane was coming down on an angle. "AA fire coming at you."
A stream of tracer fire erupted from the nose and impacted the ground in a series of small explosions. Whoever was flying came quite close the ground before flying twenty feet over their heads. "Ah my game just crashed." The plane teleported and froze just over the base.
"What is that thing!" Said Ruby with stars in her eyes." It's like a cannon but automatic! And all the missiles on the plane." She continued to ramble on about the A-164(A-10) for a while.
Weiss broke her out of her rant. "Ruby we get it the Aircraft is fascinating. Now can we continue?"
"Hun? Oh yeah."
"Get your heads down, that A-10 could come thundering towards us at any moment." Instructed Womble as they crawled along the wall of H-Barriers. Suddenly the engine noise picked up. A brief "oh shit" was heard before the Wipeout slammed into the inside of the wall. A flood of expletives was heard from the members of the squad.
"Hey you think I can land on the bridge that connects those islands?" Looking at the map there was a ton of markings designating landing zones, troop movements, and calling Womble a fag. You could see the bridge connecting a tiny island to the mainland.
"This won't end well." Said a strangely confident Weiss.
'One bad idea latter.' Popped up on the screen.
Looking from a helicopter, you could see the plane and bridge. The green words. 'A-164 Wipeout. (CAS) [cyanide]' trailed behind the plane. As he slowly came down he crashed and exploded in a blast of unused ordnance.
"I technically landed." Followed by laughter.
"Noooo the super awesome bullhead!" Cried Ruby
"Sis its a video game."
"What's CAS mean?" Asked Blake.
"Oh! It means close air support. Witch kinda is fancy talk for it shoots at things on the ground. I wonder why it didn't land normally though." Said Ruby.
"Yeah that's kinda odd how it never seemed to use its vertical thrust." Noted Weiss.
(Everything in RWBY is VTOL, probably due to limited space since Runways are fucking massive.)
Womble and some others sitting in a building overlooking a town.
"So what's the best way to smoke out some infantry hiding in buildings."
"Smoke?" Asked Ruby.
"Search them by hand?" Asked Yang.
"Thermal." Replied Blake.
"Robots." Said Weiss.
Somewhere in between the walls of beacon.
"Grid Removal System!"
Back with the girls.
"Level the place with mortar and HE."
"Yeah part from fucking leveling the place."
'60 seconds later'
"But I thought we'd fly over and levitate that place over there."
"What?" Asked the entire group.
Now we see Womble walking up a hill. "Ahh, that's mighty nice of you." Sarcastically stated Cyanide.
"Was that sarcasm?"
"No it's genuine"
The group was now sitting in the server lobby.
Cyanide angrily said "I knew that was fucking coming."
"Yeah…. That's what she said."
"Really that's what she said, it that the best you can come up with?" Said Yang.
Cue sigh from Cyanide. "Ten nine eight."
"Oh ho. Come on!"
"Seven six five."
"Fuck you! I'm a YouTube phenomenon.
"Oh just for that."
"You were kicked from the server!"
Yang couldn't help but laugh while the rest of the team got an idea to deal with Yang's horrible puns.
Cue AAA tank shooting the shit out of an MRAP in the dead of night. As it finished blowing it to tiny bits, it proceeded to move on. After a short distance, the tank was flung back to the surprise of the crew.
"What the hell did that!" Yelled Yang. Suddenly she got an awful idea for a prank. *sincker*
"Ruby your sister is acting weird again." Weiss oh so helpfully reported.
The tank flipped twice. One of the crew was complaining about being in first person mode. As it completed its final flip, it landed back on its tracks. "Like a boss!" Commented the driver.
"What the fuck was that!" Womble looked to where the tank was launched from and found the culprit. "It was a fucking campfire!"
"What?! How does a campfire fling a tank." Asked a bewildered Weiss.
"That's ArmA baby!" Exclaimed an oddly excited Ruby.
"Ruby at least keep your references to the correct game." Scolded Blake.
"What are you two going on about?" Asked Yang.
"Non cannon 4th degree warp fuckery." Retorted Blake.
"What does that even mean! We're not a damn cartoon!"
"Womble and a few others sat in a little bird. It's blades spun slowly as it prepped for take off. "Come on saggy, get up in the air. Keep it interesting.
"That's an odd aircraft. Said Weiss. Studying the vehicle, she noted that it lacked any armor, and it's passengers were seated on benches outside of the little bird. "That looks kind of dangerous. From the looks of it it you shot out that tail rotor it would start spinning."
Yang asked."why? It looks fine."
Weiss's immediately launched into a lecture on physics in an attempt to impress the people in the room. It probably would have worked if anyone paid attention past the first sentence.
"Uh you done ice queen?" Asked a bored Yang.
The heli slowly lifted off the ground then alarming rolled to the left. "Not that interesting NOT THAT INTERESTING" yelled a panicking Womble.
Now back in the daylight, Womble was taking cover behind a house. Turning to his other squadmate, he found that his torso had stretched itself away from his legs to a somewhat compromising position. "What the fuck is wrong with your arse!"
To the surprise of everyone Weiss snickered a bit.
While someone was talking over the radio.
"I thought there was a guy in front of me, it was my own shadow."
"How do you mistake your own shadow!"
"You be surprised." Said Blake. It was then Weiss looked behind her. Blake had use her semblance to conger up shadow clones of the team.
Womble's group now overlooked a small town. The words This is the JSRS audio mod appeared at the top of the screen. "Gau coming in." Reported Cyanide
"Yeah just do a gau run on that graveyard."
The girls watched in slight anticipation as the A-10 flew in. They could see the rounds fly out and hit, but they didn't hear anything. The pane pulled out of its attack run to try again.
"What? is that mod broken?" Asked Yang.
Then the sound wave reach the hill. It sounded close to a fog horn.(Watch just for that sound. Seriously.) A squad member had a hard time finding words "that sound. Wow. Holy fuck."
Womble was in a agreement "I know. It makes him sound like a fucking War of the Worlds Tripod."
"Wow those bullets must be supersonic!" Gushed Ruby.
"That would be terrifying. You wouldn't even be able to hear the bullets coming." Observed Blake
"It sounded like a fart."Yang lilac eyes suddenly gleamed "I christen it 'The fart of death.' Eh? Eh?"
A red faced Ruby glared at her sister. For she had dared to disrespect the A-10
"For the love of all things holy I will cut off your hair Yang. I don't care if you're my sister I will do it."
The CAS plane made another pass. "Thats pretty accurate actually."
"Hmm? What? the tripod?"
A quick separator slide appeared with the words 'After the airstrike.'
The squad was now walking through the decimated town. There were bodies everywhere one of the squad remarked. "Wow. Cyanide you've made the people into housing."
Another one said "Well we can tick genocide off our to do list."
"Everything's fucking dead man, no one's living.
They continued to walk and find more bodies. As if to drive it home a little note at the top said 'We just kept finding more bodies, but Cyanide killed at least 40.'
"Oum that's just horrifying." Said Weiss. The rest of the girls agreed, the way this game was played, was quite close to how Airborne fought. To think someone could just fly by and wipe a town off the map was scary.
"Hey what's Genocide mean?" Asked Ruby.
"It… I actually don't know." Said a slightly surprised Weiss, it sounded like another word but she couldn't say she had heard it before.
"Uh don't let Airborne know I told you, but it means killing an entire race or species." Answered Blake.
"That's… That's horrible. Why would anyone do such a thing. And why wouldn't we want to talk to Airborne about that?" Said a wide eyed Ruby.
"I really don't know. As for Airborne, you remembered when they arrived right?" Receiving nods from rest of the team she continued. "Well the unit that Wilhelm was apart of was responsible for one of the largest attempts at it. That's why he shot that one man, he was in charge of seeing that through.
As if to take their minds off the darker subject, we now got a view of Womble and Cyanide attacking a grounded heli. As Cyanide ran around the front he got a nasty surprise in the form of a dozen 6.5 bullets to the legs. "Oh god it has machine guns!"
"You're kidding me! You ran it front of its guns."
"You'd think they would be smart enough to NOT run in front of a FIXED gun! Exclaimed disbelieving Weiss.
'Two minutes later.'
"Womble is going to do it too."
Womble himself ran up to the helicopter. As he stepped in front of it he realized to his he had walk right In front its rocket pod! "oh god!" Unfortunately he moved a bit too far and ran into the minigun's field of fire.
"You called ME at retard!"
"You know I kinda think Womble's not the smartest person." Said Yang.
"What tipped you off, the running in front of the machine guns or blatant incompetence?" Deadpanned Blake.
Now back in civilization, Womble's squad sat in a church with a man at the pulpit. "Just waiting on you Rousch. Just waiting for you to deliver us from sin."
The group then sat down inside the overturned pews. "Bless me Father for it has been NEVER since my last confession." Unnoticed by the rest of the room the man to the far left got up and chucked a grenade at the temporary priest.
"Wait why are they oh is that a grenade!" Said Ruby. She flailed her arms and flipped over the back of the couch dragging Yang with her, flinging popcorn everywhere in the process to the disdain of Weiss and Blake.
Womble noticed the grenade as it bounced, his voice quickly rose in panic.
"Whoa! Is that a grenade? IT'S A FRAG GRENADE WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DOWN!
Womble flung himself down between the pews while the man who through the frag ran out the door, leaving the preacher to duck down inside the blast zone in front of any cover.
"No! Religious man, you were too young to die!" Wailed Ruby from her cover.
"Sis what the hell!" Yelled a bewildered Yang. Since when has Ruby been able to flip her like that to begin with?
The grenade went off In a blizzard of shrapnel. Little yellow words trailed the metal illustrating just how close Womble had been to losing his leg, and how utterly saturated the little alcove where Rousch was standing.
"Well Rousch is fucked." Deadpanned Blake.
"Fuck. Fucking shrapnel" stated an annoyed Womble. As he picked himself off the ground, he asked. "Everyone Okay?" It was then Rousch stood up. "Hello?" Everyone was a bit surprised.
"What? HOW! How did you survive the shrapnel."
"ITS A SIGN OF GOD!"
(I have no clue how the lucky bastard surveyed, he would have been dead.)
"What? That bomb went off everywhere! How could they have survived!" Yelled Weiss. Her face was the perfect picture of puzzlement.
"God?" Supplied Blake.
"Well he was wearing armor…"
"Ruby! He's only wearing a vest! He has to be dead."
"Womble, why are you in a diving suit?" Yes in the dead of night, in the middle of a field, Womble was holding a LMG. While wearing a backpack. In a diving suit.
"What the hell?" There's no water anywhere you dolt!"
"I don't know Weiss it pays to be prepared." Said a thoughtful Blake.
"To take a swim in gravel?" Yang then grinned. "I'd sure be granite."
"Yang! Fine. Ten, nine, eight, seven…"
"Ruby, what are you" Yang remembered the 'that's what she said' joke."What! You can't kick me! We're not even in a server."
" … Six, five, four, three…" Unnoticed by Yang Blake cloned herself, and snuck behind Yang, ready to grab her. "...two, one."
"What? Blake!" Blake Grabbed Yang around the waist, and tossed her out the open door.
"That worked well" said a satisfied Ruby.
"Pays to be prepared." Was his arrogant reply.
Now cutting to Womble engaged with some men in close quarters. After getting shot at a few times he ran to some cover behind a house, guestimateing where the soldier was, he opened fire into the metal shack In front of him. Unfortunately the target had already flanked him, and proceeded to place a trio of bullets into his chest.
"Argh he got me. Fucking hell."
"Why did he just waist ammunition!"
"Weiss if I've learned anything about Earth weapons, is that they have very little problems piercing things, thin metal and aura included" explained Ruby.
Yang at this point had walked back in, and sat down near Weiss, glaring at her partner and sister.
Womble and presumably another squadmate lay bleeding out where they had fallen."Cyanide! Come save us. Save me first."
"I'm coming! Oh I didn't bring a medi 'stuff' I didn't expect the two of you to be this Incompetent."
" Wow when Cyanide says you're bad, you have problems." Chimed Yang.
"Hey i see you! Stop, STOP." Womble desperately called out for his friend's aid." On your left. ON YOUR LEFT! Next to the shack, in the grass. THE GUY IN THE FUCKING SCUBA GEAR!"
Cyanide had apparently healed the other man first, and he gave his two cents. "Shoot the guy on the ground."
Soviet became Outraged" Don't you dare! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."
The man ran up, placed do the muzzle of a .408 rifle at womble's face and fired.
"AAARGHHH! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Womble strangely didn't die.
"Well I guess scuba gear has a use Blake. Marking where your bleeding carcasses is." Retorted a triumphant Weiss.
"Or you could dive with it." Said a somewhat uninvolved Ruby.
Womble was shot three more times.
"I'm alive." Sang a relieved Womble.
"My scuba suit protects me from your bullshit!" Claimed the now smug man.
The girls all heard a snap of rubber come from where Weiss was sitting. Turning to see what the noise was, the saw Weiss. Only she had somehow taken off her dress, pulled on a diving suit of her own, and replaced the dress in less than five seconds.
"It protects me for your bullshit." She then pulled the hood over her head.
Womble then proceed to have a pistol clip emptied into his abdomen, a pair of grenades go off next to him, and a M2 from a nearby truck fired into his torso, after tanking the ordnance, the video cut out after that.
"You know that was pretty funny." Said Ruby.
"Alright Blake your up." Yang tossed the scroll to Blake
"Hmm... I think this one will do."