7The horror of romance
"Neuro, I'm hungry. Let me go to eat", Yako said it in the morning just right after she had awake and found Neuro throw newspapers to awake her.
"No!", Neuro answered it and went to sit behind Troy.
"How long do you intend to imprison me in here?"
"Until you agree to marry me"
"You, Listen. I'm not going to run away from you. I promised you already, before"
"How would you know?", Neuro's voice was low and sound so dangerous but his eyes look so weak.
"What do you mean?", Yako got confused
Neuro was staring into Yako like he wanted to make a hole through her eyes before answer, "Since human has ability to evolution, they also could change their mind and feeling so easily"
"I promised you already. I won't took my words so easily"
"It is not enough. I want to be your first priority"
"Like I've said before. Marriage is about becoming Husband and wife, not slave and master."
"What is the different?"
"It means, It's not only about me being yours but also means that you are mine.", Neuro only stared at Yako deeply as she continued, "Just forget about marriage, okay. This is not going to work between us. I am your partner and will always be, even without marriage."
"So, it's not like you againts the marriage. But you just don't want to marry me.", Neuro mumbled softly. But then he asked Yako clearly, "What is the different?"
"What?"
"There is no different to marry me if you already willing to spend your life to be my partner"
"There is! It's about... being equal? No, it's more sentimental of my side. If I marry you, I would want more from you. If we were only partner, I will be satisfied with this situation right now."
"More like what?"
"Just forget about it already! It's not something you could understand after all. Beside, I'm starving, just let me go out and eat."
"Just use the delivery. I still not give you permission."
Yako could only sighed, but did use the delivery as he said. Neuro has already confined her in the office, so she didn't want to accept any other punisment from him anymore. After she had ordered her food, both of them was being silent while Neuro was reading the newspaper and watching the news. Yako glanced towards Neuro couple times and silently felt sick in her stomach, her mood always connect to her stomach. When she was gloomy, she had always lose her appetite. So, actually she just using food to stop the conversation and maybe run away in the process. But, it hadn't worked after all.
Yako was trying her best to eat her delivered pancake. Usually, she would eat five or eight portions, but this morning she hardly eaten up half of it. Neuro glanced at her, realize that it was unusual for her. But, his pride and anger prevented him to speak up. While they has been in a very tense silent that even Akane got nervous, suddenly the door was open and Godai come in with a big box in his hand.
"This is your usual delivering", Godai was intent to only put his box that full of potential mystery for Neuro, and went back straight to his office. But when he looked at Yako who had only eaten half pancake, he stopped, "are you alright, detective? I've never seen you like this before"
"Ah, I just don't have appetite"
"What?! You must be sick. Have you called ambulance yet, monster?"
"Yako won't leave this office except for accompany me", Neuro answered him coldly.
"What? Are you crazy? She must be sick because of it"
"If you done of your errand then go back to your cage with your tail between your leg!", Neuro said it with a smile but his hand pushed Godai's face until he slammed the wall.
Godai has ran away while cursed Neuro, Neuro watched him as he go and stared at Yako.
"Is human like Godai can do?"
"What?"
"Is he can give you, what I can't? Or may be someone like Higuchi Yuya?"
"Did you know, you sounds like jealous of him to me?"
Yako just said it because she got so irritatted of the whole things that happen recently. But, her words suprisingly had made sense, if only she was not speak about Neuro of course.
"I see, so this is jealousy", unexpected Neuro answered her with a calm voice.
"What? You admitted it?"
"Well, I am indeed don't want to share you with anyone else. What kind of master want to share his slave with others?"
"That's not what I mean.", Yako had already so frustrated, "I mean that it looks like you're in love with me!". Yako said it loudly as if to defy him.
Half of Yako wish Neuro to laugh her words as joke, but the other half wish Neuro to unexpected admitted it. But, Neuro would always do the most unexpected. Hearing the word love come out from Yako's mouth only made him look at her with such a disgust. And it hurted Yako's feeling again.
"I-If that idea disgust you, then why are you asking me to marry you." Less than asking more of forcing, actually.
"Is love really important?"
"Of course it is important! At least it is for me! I only want to marry someone who loves me"
"So, that's why you don't want to marry me", slowly Neuro was starting to understand Yako's viewpoint. "What is love, anyway?"
"I-I.. I don't know. It could be different to each person"
"What is love for you?"
"Well, it is when someone can made you feel that you are needed, someone who can make me feel at easy, safe and comfortable", Yako say it something that she doesn't feel towards Neuro on purpose.
"I don't think that you feel that way towards me"
"Of course not!"
"But, you claimed that you love me"
"I don't know! Human is complicated and difficult, okay."
"So, you feel that way towards other... Higuchi Yuya?"
"That's none of your bussiness!"
"Who said? Of course it is my bussiness"
"Yako, you said love is important for marriage. But, human's feeling is so easy to change including love."
Yako couldn't denial it even if she really wanted to do it.
"Yako, I don't know anything about love or human feeling. But I want you to be mine. You asked before about marriage in hell. Well, we don't have anything like that. But, if we try hard there is something that has a similar with marriage."
"When demons want to make the next generation, they do something like mating to human. But, while they are doing it they took each other energy so that they could create awhole new creature. Usually, it took all of the nutrients or the life force of only one side but, there is some case where both side had died. That's why, before I called it death battle. The weak ones always die."
"But, when we choose our partner to copulate, we choose it very careful because it is about life and death. And even if the other has died, it not for vain. Because the next generation which share both of their trait has born. Futhermore, we could only copulate once." Neuro wondered, if his long explanation could be understood by his one cell brain (slave) partner.
"Yako, human's feeling and mind could change as easy as season changing. But, demon's not easily change. Even after hundred years, I will still want you."
"Wi, will you kill me too?", now Yako scared for a different reason.
"Of course not! Do you forget why I need you? And I don't have any need of the next generation, if it would result as your death. You will much more useful when alive"
"Then, why you want me?"
"Because I do! Why do you can't take it as the reason? I want you because I do, that is all the reason. What did you expect me to say?"
"Because I'm human? Or may be because I love you? I don't know what I expect too! But, I will never ever give in on this"
Neuro sighed while put his palm on his face, Yako quite suprised at this scene since this is her first time saw him look so distress. And, he looks like this because of her. What a (pleasant) suprise.
"Fine. Now I wish you to tell me first, what do you feel about me?", looks like Neuro eventually was willing to considerate about Yako's feeling.
"Wha- what is the relevant about it?"
"Of course it is important. You are the one that say love is very important for you in marriage"
Yako sighed before answer it with a bashful face, "You... are like a light when I'm in a deep dark..." She's reminiscing when the first time she met Neuro in front of her dad's altar. "Then, it's like you took me on a very strange but exciting adventure. Become a high school detective, it is really something." Yako's smile when remember her early time as detective. "Although, you forced me at first. I realized that I want to do my best for you. Perhaps, because I felt something like grateful or I don't want you to look down on me."
Yako took a few step towards him, she's feeling a need to touch him while she was baring all of her feeling about him. Afterall, Neuro took a very large portion in her heart and mind and she felt so nervous and scared to bare it all. It felt like going to a war without any defences and or going naked.
While Yako was speaking slowly, Neuro has listened to it cautiously like trying to cross over a field full of traps. May be this is indeed a war that both of them have to overcome it. While Yako has experience in this field, speak about her deepest inner feeling is really took all of her nerves. And of course, Neuro being a demon and to proud to cling into the idea of taking a mate, made him completely new about this field. Both of them was really going to war without weapon or any shield. The war that's called a relationship.
Yako had touched Neuro's coat before continued speaking, "While it felt good being with you, because you bring out inside me something that I'd never know I have it."
Neuro knew that Yako talk about the evolving Yako that he had grown it up, "At the same time, it also so scary and painful to experience all of the sadness and the dark side of the world" Neuro was reminiscing the time when he sent her out, and She came out running from office. While Yako's been remind about all of the death and the harsh things that happened after she has become a detective.
Yako shed a tears after reminded all of the horrible things, she had experienced. She grabbed Neuro's coat and explained more, "But even after everything, all I want is to be with you. Because despite how painful to be a detective, it hurts much more when you're not around", She rest her face in Neuro's chest.
Neuro who was listening to her, suddenly pull Yako from him. Yako thought that he didn't want to his coat being wet and dirty. But, unexpectedly Neuro lift Yako's chin and wipe her tears with his other hand. Yako who has never got treat so gentle by Neuro is now being aghast. It seriously feels like calm before storm so scary and made all of her blood is draining from her face.
"I despised it when you cry. I can't explain it very well, but it doesn't feel good. I wonder why, when I completely fine the other way when I try to drop you from the helicopter"
Just before Yako is trying to gather all of her scattered mind and sense, Neuro's face is reaching hers and he is kissing her eyes so tenderly feels like only brushing it.
'If I'm not still in dream, then may be this is hallucination. Or he is not Neuro. Or I've gone crazy. Or What? God, help me! This the scariest thing that Neuro ever done to me.' Yako screamed in her mind, while Neuro was watching her curiously.
"Is there something wrong?", Neuro who was confused staring hard at her. When she tried to come for an answer, her legs given up on her and Neuro catched her before she fall down. NEURO CATCHED HER! Now, Yako was scared for her life and her sanity.
"Ne-Neuro! I'm fine!", Yako was being panic while her body gave her away.
"You do not like this kind of thing?", Neuro was still holding Yako's waist and about to carry her in bridal way.
"That's not..."
"...is this not enough?", While he was being so romantic and gentle, his face had been completely flat or only looks curious to her reaction.
While yako completely taken aback with Neuro's act. Neuro was actually feel something different that he couldn't explain it clearly. May be it was something warm that has gradually appeared and spreading as this little human is talking. Or may be because of her who keep rejected him before now is coming to him slowly. Not only phisically but mentally. She was coming near and her words of what she called the meaning of her love towards him is feels like music to his ears.
But, she cried again. She said because it is painful being with me, I want to do something for her. But, what if she push me away again? If only she really close to me may be I can do something to comfort and easy her pain. Something like manually wipe her tears, at least it would make me feel good. Or may be lick her eyes, ah but may be it is not a good thing, who knows what will happen when my tounge touch her skin. I catched her fast when she fell down. She just come so close to me now, I don't want to separate at least for now. But, I wonder is it not enough to stop her cry?
"I love you, Neuro. Do you love me?", again this words. I am tired and sick of love word already. But, how I could close her mouth when I hold her right now.
'Neuro kissed me.'
'He used his lips to press my lips.'
'Neuro and me kissed.'
'How and why?'
'Am I even still on earth?'
'May be this is heaven or Hell?'
"Stop with love things, okay!", Neuro sounds so irritated, "I want you. I would try hard to make you happy and I want to be with you. You can even own me, if you need to. Just marry me already, and let's stop all of this whole drama"
Me, being numb and in shock only nodded to responsed
Yeah, if this whole things would stop if I agree then I will throw away my sentimental feeling thousand times. I am tired, I want to go home, being confined is scary, I want to get my appetite back, and Neuro being like this seriously made me question my sanity.
So, let's get married and do whatever you want Neuro. And just back to normal.