So this isn't TLR-related, but I whipped this out last night while I was supposed to plan out another (non-fanfic) story. Instead I heard a song I put on my writing inspiration playlist and this story was born. Enjoy.
This mission couldn't end soon enough. What should have been six weeks turned into six months. I broke my promise to Stephanie and that, in turn, broke my heart. I was never one to make promises to her that I couldn't keep. It was something I swore I wouldn't do. It was why I had kept her at arm's length for years. And yet for the last four and a half months I failed to return home.
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I need my girl
I need my girl
I don't know how I got here, which might be a first for me. I don't care what it took. I'd get out of this Russian prison if it was the last thing I did. I'd return home to Stephanie and plan my retribution. I don't know who sold my team out, but I felt it in my bones. We were betrayed.
I needed to get my head in the right head space, but
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I need my girl
I need my girl
Think about Steph, I instructed myself. My shoulders started shaking in silent laughter as I thought of all of her antics, not that I would ever call them antics to her face. There was the dead rabbit. And then there was the time when she caught Morelli and brought him to the precinct in the refrigerated van - with a dead body in the back with him. And I couldn't forget about all of the visiting hour disasters with Grandma Mazur. And then there was the infamous mud wrestling fiasco at the Snake Pit. I wasn't there for that, but the surveillance tape we managed to filch from the club more than made up for my absence.
Remember when you lost your shit and
Drove the car into the garden
And you got out and said, "It's not my fault!"
To the vines and no one saw it
I need my girl
I need my girl
Thinking about Stephanie gave me strength. She gave me purpose. I needed to make a plan. I knew the guards' routines for the most part, but there had been a shift in who was watching us again, making it more difficult. I was still learning their ticks, their tells. I needed out. I needed to go home. I needed to make sure she knows she's mine.
I need my girl
"You!" The guard came in screaming and pointing his gun at my head. "Get up. Now!"
I stood, shocked at this turn of events. I guess they were tired of my stonewalling their questions. I was tired of the same questions. I didn't have answers for them, not that I would divulge any information to them if I had.
"You're going to cooperate. If not, I will not hesitate to pull the trigger."
I'm under the gun again
I know I was the 45%er then
I know I was a lot of things
It's sad to say, but I never thought I'd be under the gun on this mission. A quick observation mission had turned into a clusterfuck. If nothing else, this disaster made me realize that I'd no longer be a 45 percenter. When I got home I'd be all in. I'd stop putting work and the threat of my past coming back to bite me between us any longer.
I glanced at my current captor. He made his threat. Too bad his shaking hands gave him away. He'd never pull the trigger and I could easily out-maneuver this pimply faced kid. He couldn't be more than 18. I almost felt bad. I wouldn't kill him, but I wouldn't put it past his employers to make him disappear for his failure to achieve his objectives.
But I am good, I am grounded
Davy says that I look taller
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I need my girl
I need my girl
How many times has my life flashed before my eyes and I never made any changes? It would never happen again. I can't get my head around it. I wasted so much time. I wasted so much energy staying away. I needed Steph. I needed my babe.
"I mean it! Tell me why your team was caught copying files off of Senator Ivanovich's computer?"
"I couldn't tell you. I'm just a peon. I follow orders. You should understand that."
"You know more than that. You're not just a peon. You're a former captain in the Army."
"Doesn't mean they tell me why they issue orders and I certainly can't ask them." I had to keep him talking while I worked on getting my hands out of the rope they used to restrain them behind my back. "I just know we were ordered to observe Senator Ivanovich and then our orders changed. They wanted his files. They didn't say what we were looking for." Our new orders were to copy his whole hard drive. In true intelligence and military manner, they didn't explain what they wanted specifically or why they wanted it. Compartmentalization.
I was so close to having my hands free.
"What did you observe? What did you tell them?"
"We reported on where and when he went places and who he met with." Success. My hands were free. I flexed them, trying to return normal blood flow.
"How long were you watching the senator for?"
The poor schmuck completely forgot the gun was in his hand. He had lowered it and was holding it loosely by his side. I needed to spring up, grab it and knock him out. The Russian senator's henchmen were poorly trained and overly confident. They hadn't even tied up my feet since they thought there was no chance I could escape. They might know my name and rank, but they certainly knew nothing about my personality. Thorough intelligence files would have told them that I'm the MacGyver of the black ops world. I can get out of any situation, even if I'm only armed with a paperclip.
"About six weeks before you captured us." The senator's personal guards managed to catch Jack and me. Rook and Castle had managed to evade the senator's men. They were likely back in the US, but as this was a black ops mission, there would be no rescue mission. It was all on me. Jack had given up to a life of imprisonment and ultimately death. How he survived black ops this long, I'll never know. He gave up too easily in the face of adversity. Maybe he needed to find his motivation, his babe.
Our novice interrogator, if I could even classify him as an interrogator, contemplated that information. "Six weeks…." He closed his eyes while he tried to remember the details of the senator's personal life from six months ago. That was the opportunity I needed. Their inexperience was the weakness that I was going exploit and I was nothing if not an opportunist.
I surprised him when I jumped up and grabbed the gun. I cold cocked him. His legs gave out from beneath him, collapsing onto the floor. Jack looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. I took my rope restraints and hogtied the young Russian's hands and feet behind his back - like they should have done with me. After I was satisfied that the Russian was tied securely, I ripped off part of his sleeve and gagged his mouth.
I then turned my attention to Jack, untying his hands.
"You ready to get out of here?" I asked him.
"So ready. I thought I'd die here."
I refused to respond because nothing I wanted to say would help our current situation.
We made quick order of the rest of the men in the house. They were grunts. They were no match for us, unlike the Senator's personal guards. Jack and I managed to stroll out of the house, dressed in the Russians' clothes so as not to stand out. Blood stained clothing would raise more than a few eyebrows and we needed to disappear in the crowd.
It was time to return home. I needed my girl and it was time to tell her.
The National's song, "I Need My Girl," on the 2013 album Trouble Will Find Me, inspired this one-shot. Below are the lyrics in its entirety.
I am good, I am grounded
Davy says that I look taller
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I need my girl
I need my girl
Remember when you lost your shit and
Drove the car into the garden
You got out and said I'm sorry
To the vines and no one saw it
I need my girl
I need my girl
I'm under the gun again
I know I was a 45 percenter then
I know I was a lot of things
But I am good, I am grounded
Davy says that I look taller
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I need my girl
I need my girl
There's some things that I should never
Laugh about in front of family
I'll try to call you from the party
It's full of punks and cannonballers
I need my girl
I need my girl
I'm under the gun again
I know I was a 45 percenter then
I know I was a lot of things
But I am good, I am grounded
Davy says that I look taller
I can't get my head around it
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
I keep feeling smaller and smaller
Written by Aaron Brooking Dessner, Matthew Donald Berninger • Copyright © BMG Rights Management US, LLC.