3Two Heartbeats
Thump thump, thump thump.
It's strange isn't it? You go through your life ignoring your heart. It just keeps on beating away, counting out your life with its beats. We never stop to consider how a heartbeat affects us and how our lives can change in the space between two heartbeats.
o O o
Thump thump, thump thump.
I remember the first day I saw her, almost indistinguishable from the other elf maids all dressed alike as they prepared for the Spring Festival. Still there was something undefinable about her that drew me to her. I couldn't help it, I just stopped and stared.
Thump thump.
She must have felt my gaze as she stopped the graceful movements of the dance she was practicing and looked up at me - straight into my heart.
Thump thump.
She smiled...
Thump thump.
... and I was lost.
Over time we got to know each other, Idril and I, and true to her name she brought sparkling brilliance into my life. When I was with her light seemed brighter, -colours more vivid and textures more real until; (thump-thump-thump-thump) my heart racing: "Will you marry me?"
Thump... thump thump
She smiled that brilliant, slightly crooked, beautiful smile.
THUMP THUMP.
"Yes".
Joy has a way of filling you up. It starts at your heart and spreads through your body with each beat of your heart until you feel so light you could float away. Yet at the same time you also feel as if you will burst - unable to keep that glorious feeling within yourself – it has to spread out, to be spread out by smiles, gestures, shouts or a long and very satisfying kiss. Oh, how I loved her…
o O o
My heart racing again and beating so strongly I felt as if my whole body was shaking with it. She was walking towards me and shortly would never walk away again, we joined hands and recited our vows.
Another racing heartbeat gradually slowing in time with mine as we rested, my head on her breast, our union complete.
o O o
How can a heart keep beating when it feels such pain? Sharp agony pierced my heart like a knife the day I held my father as the light faded from his eyes.
Thump thump.
It is almost inconceivable that my heart continued to beat when his had stopped, but it doesn't beat for me or him, but her.
Thump thump.
The joy and anticipation of seeing Idril, the heavy thud of my heart beat as I do return home. I saw the forest again and realise that I must take up my father's mantle, his crown for my own. How could I bear it, this pain of loss still so real and raw? Then she is there, a gentle touch, a calming word and my heart slows and calms. I am able to face the people - my people now - with my head held high.
o O o
My heart trembled each time she was in labour.
Thump thump.
Each time I watched, helpless, as she is in pain bringing our child into the world to meet us. My turn to whisper those comforting words, to give that comforting touch as my heart lurched with each of her gasps of pain. Anxiety turning to joy again as the small wriggling bundle is handed to us. The sight of forever in those new eyes opening for the first time. The feeling of such love overwhelming my heart. Two sons and a daughter - my joy is complete.
"No more my love. Three wonderful children are a gift beyond measure" I said and then a few centuries later "Just one more, please my love?" She looked up at me with those brilliant eyes and I knew I was lost and we had one more child, one more green leaf on our family tree. I am overwhelmed by joy and love again.
o O o
A family day together. A blessed day away from Court and Kingship. A day just the six of us together. A day to forget the encroaching shadow and to live in the joy of the forest.
I never cease to wonder how quickly things change… from laughing happiness, to my heart frozen in fear as I hear the shouts of the guards hidden in the trees around us.
Thump-thump-thump-thump.
My heart racing, terrified, as the beasts come through the forest towards us. My love and my children at risk and I am unarmed! How can I protect them?
Picking up a branch from the ground I push my wife and children behind me, but my two eldest sons follow me, branches of their own in their hands, their faces fierce. I swing the branch at the creatures, knocking them aside and breaking bones, but unable to stop their advance on us. Arrows rain around us as the guards shoot down the monsters attacking us and then… a scream from behind me.
My daughter is reaching for my wife as she is bent over little Legolas protecting him. So much blood. My heart stops as the creature moves to strike again but is itself stopped by an arrow in the neck. Too late, too late, there is so much blood.
A buzzing fills my ears as I reach for her...
Thump thump.
My heart beating so loudly I hear nothing else as I hold my love...
Thump thump.
Tears fall like a river I cannot stop as I see how quickly she is fading.
Thump thump.
Such pain in my heart and my whole being. I cannot hear her words… something about rivers and sunshine.
Thump thump.
I cannot hear her.
Thump…