Disclaimer: sadly the characters of this story do not belong to me, well except Mary I suppose, but I don't like her, so she's free for the taking.
AN: hmmm, the usual, English isn't my first language and I still don't have a beta reader. Oh, and for purposes of this story Chris never came back.
The nurse looked at the women on the bed, fast asleep. The drugs would do that to a person. She remembered the day this woman checked herself in, the nurse had only been a trainee then and was astonished someone would bring herself into a mental institution. 'Till that point she never had actually believed anyone could know they were going crazy.
The nurse looked kept on staring at her charge. She had seemed very in control when she had first come here, seemed to hope for some kind of cure so she could get out of there again. Slowly the self-control began failing when she was prescribed more and more drugs. Now she was a nut case like the rest of them.
The nurse looked at the woman she only knew as Jane Doe; life shouldn't have treated her this bad.
She was scared of sleeping, scared of dreaming, she knew what she was going to dream, no drug could stop it, they couldn't even lessen it. But at least now she was safe, she couldn't hurt anyone as long as she was in here. A self-imposed imprisonment was the price she was paying for a crime not committed. But in her dreams, the crimes, the murders, they were all too real. And every time she woke up she lusted for the blood she had tasted in her dreams, she needed to kill them, until the little rational thought she had left called her to order. She knew she would've killed him if she had woken up next to him one more time.
Sleep overtook her against her will dragging her down the dark places of her mind. She was powerless to resist.
"Hey sleepy head, it's morning, you don't want to miss breakfast." the nurse said, so waking up Jane.
"Leave me alone, go pester some other imbecile." The woman answered gruffly, her hands just itched seeing this happy face.
"You know I am getting really fed up with your self pity! Why are you here anyway? It's not like you think you're napoleon or something!" The nurse, Mary, had decided on another tactic. Not that she thought it would work, but everything had to be tried.
"I have earned a little self-pity! I have been stuck in this heel hole for five years today!" the woman complained. "Well, you'd get out of here a lot sooner if you finally started cooperating with the doc's!" Mary knew most of them had already given up on this semi-sane woman, they knew something was wrong, and that she couldn't be released but what exactly they didn't have a clue about. Well, considering Jane hadn't even given her real name in five years showed that if she didn't want someone to know something she would never tell them.
"Every time I do someone just prescribes me more pills, I want to keep at least a little part of my brain functioning properly, thank you very much."
Mary hated to admit it, but Jane had a point, doctors hated not knowing, not being able to cure, so they tried and tried and tried.
"They are for your own good." She said, feeling like a liar.
"They don't do any good. Now are you going to get me breakfast or do I have to walk to the grubroom myself?" Jane asked, hoping for the first.
"I am not your servant you get your own food I have to make your bed, that's bad enough."
"Hey, at least I don't pee in mine, count yourself lucky." Jane said, referring to all the other patients who did still wet themselves.
"What's your name?" Mary suddenly asked, as Jane started dressing.
"None of your business, but nice try."
"You know, I have a friend who's a cop he might run your fingerprints through the computer and see what we come up with. You could also tell me, which would be a lot easier."
"Are you threatening me?" Jane asked, not flinching.
"No, just telling you." Mary said, knowing that if she had been bluffing she probably would have buckled.
"What's this cops name? I'd like to know who to sue when he gives you my name." Jane said casually and went back to dressing herself.
"Of course I won't tell you that!" Mary said, never really having thought of it that way.
"If you are so chummy with this police officer, why haven't you tried it sooner? You have been dying to know since the moment I walked in here." Chris asked, still probing the young nurse for information.
"Because I started dating him about a month ago and my life doesn't revolve around you, contrary to popular opinion." Mary countered.
"And he is from LA?" Chris asked.
"He lives right on the beach." Mary smiled thinking about the wonderful beach house where they had celebrated his promotion, one he'd never thought he'd get, just last night.
"All I can say is: Don't. You will be getting both yourself and your boyfriend into trouble by spreading privileged information. You'll be getting me into trouble, and all the people I care about, you'd hurt them." Jane had obviously chosen for a change of tactics as well.
"Jane. No one has ever visited you in five years! What loved ones? I am the closest thing to a friend you have."
"Just don't Mary, I don't want anyone to know I am here, and more importantly don't want them to know why I am here. It is for the best." Jane said, not looking like the average mental patient at all.
"You always think you know what's best! Maybe they want to be there for you!" Mary really couldn't stand the woman at this moment.
"I used to be normal, I used to be sane. I want to be remembered as that! Not as some homicidal loony!"
"You are talking like you have died already!"
Mary never saw it coming, the hand around her neck, the other hand fastening her hands, the knee in her stomach. She squirmed, tried to breath, tried to scream. Suddenly Jane let go and started sobbing.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Mary." She had backed away into a corner of the room and let herself drop there, her arms clasped around her knees, a tear rolled slowly down her cheek.
Mary looked at her, also crying, she knew she should calm the patient, she knew it was her own fault for letting her guard down. She looked at the small figure in the corner one more time, and then bolted out of the room.
The next day it took a little bit of courage for Mary to come into the room the next day, several of the nurses had offered to do it for her, or at least accompany her, but she wouldn't let them, this, waking up Jane, had always been her job, always, since she had been just an intern and never had Jane harmed a hair on her head. until yesterday. She took a deep breath and walked in. Opened the curtains that she had given Jane as a gift after she was given the all clear sign about suicide, that being that she was unlikely to commit it.
"Hey sleepy head, common, wake up, the sun is up and about." she couldn't get the usual cheerful tone, couldn't even pull the fake one of.
"Mary." Jane just stated, looking directly at the nurse.
"Yes?" Mary asked trying to sound like nothing had happened.
"Now you know why I don't want to see my loved ones, I am afraid I'm going to kill them." Jane explained, stoically.
"I. I forgive you, okay?" Mary said, now finally sounding sincere. Jane smiled, she couldn't have looked more grateful.
"It's Chris." She said, after contemplating it for a second.
"Your name?" Mary asked.
"Yes, Christine actually, but I prefer being called Chris." Now it was Mary's turn to smile.
"Well, Chris, does this mean I belong to the loved ones now?"
"How do you figure that?"
"Well, you hate Doc Arthur's guts but never even looked like you were going to do anything against him. And you are only afraid of hurting loved ones." Mary said, executing the power of deduction.
"You're my friend, OK? And now you may make my bed." Chris grinned and moved to the chair to get the clothes Mary had brought with her.
"Well, you just wait 'till breakfast I have a beautiful assortment of little pills ready and waiting for you." She knew it wasn't fair to tease her patient with the medicine she had to take every morning, but hey, it wasn't exactly fair to tease her about the making of beds!
"Yay! Do you have the pretty colours again?" Chris asked sarcastically.
"You may even get an orange if you're good and take them all." Mary said, playing along the game.
"Wow, a real orange, you are so good to me." Chris said, rolling her eyes.
"Tomorrow there are going to be apples, I have heard a rumour about there going to be lollypops somewhere this month."
"Really? Now I know this sounds sad but I am actually looking forward to that!" Chris exclaimed. Mary eyed her wearily.
"Riiiiight." Mary said, not believing a word of it. Chris grinned
"Had you going for a second." She said and winked at the nurse.
"Yeah, yeah, just hurry up, will you? I have a lot more to do today." Mary sighed she was already going over the list in her head.
"You're not the only one. Agnes is pretty scared again, I sat with her all day yesterday to make her feel a little safer, she is finally starting to talk to me about it." Chris told her friend.
"You're doing really good with her, if you weren't a patient I think you could easily have become a nurse here, maybe a doctor if you're willing to study for it." Mary said.
"But I am a patient." Chris stated softly and looked Mary directly in the eye. "Promise you won't tell anyone my name?'
"Promise, though I think no one would be able to come up with your true identity from just your first name though."
"I do. Come on, let's go, you have more beds to make and I have to eat and swallow those ugly little pills that are supposed to make my life better."
"Hey, it's going to be alright." Mary softly said, then slipped out the door.
Well, it's easy, just go to city hall and look up every Christine between 35 and 45 years of age currently living in LA or having lived in LA up 'till 5 years and a day ago. Then start at the top and look at all the pictures. Easy!
Mary sat there all night, working through a HUGE stack of files, until finally, at about 5AM her boyfriend called her.
"Hey, you're not at your house so I thought I'd check in on you, see if you're all right." He said, hoping she wouldn't take it the wrong way and think he was stalking her or something.
"I'm fine. Woah! Is it this late already? Uhm. Would you mind picking me up at city-hall? I know it's late just." Mary sheepishly said blessing her good fortune tomorrow was her day off.
"No, I don't mind, I have worked the nightshift anyway, I am still somewhat awake. See you in 15 minutes, don't wait outside, I will come in."
Mary smiled, he was always so protective. "Yeah, OK, thanks, see you." She said and put her phone away. She had still time to look through a couple more files.
"What are you looking for?" a voice suddenly asked from behind her.
"Bobby! You scared the hell out of me!" Mary exclaimed then opened another file. That would be it, the last file for the night.
"Nice to see you too, but what are you looking for if I may ask?" he insisted, smiling at her with his cure little dimples.
"Someone I knew." Mary said, remembering her promise.
Bobby picked up a file of one of the stacks on her table and flipped it open.
"Aren't these supposed to be private?" he asked.
"I have got clearance, when I first started I was often send here to find as much as possible on a patient." She explained "What are you looking at?" she then asked, wondering what he was reading.
"Oh, I know this woman, well knew. I haven't seen her for a while though, she's my boss wife. I don't know the details but she left him pretty suddenly and then never signed the divorce papers he send her after a year of waiting for her!" he informed her, being a bit of a gossiper. He showed her the file it had a photo in it from a pretty young woman in police uniform. Mary gasped and pulled the file out of his hands, immediately she started reading.
"You're not telling me she is one of your patients are you?" he asked, wearily.
"No. I'm not telling you anything, I promised I wouldn't. Do you remember Jane, Jane Doe, the one that has been my personal quest for 5 years now?"
"You're telling me..?"
"I am not telling you anything, but maybe you could guess."
"Chris is Jane? Geez! You have to be wrong! I used to work with her! For five years now? She seemed sane enough, she was an excellent cop!" he exclaimed, really shocked with this information.
"Well, it seems to be. Wow, she was married, had a house, a good job, a happy life, this really didn't come at a good time for her." Mary muttered.
"When would it be a good time? What does she have anyway? And why doesn't TC know?"
"Because we have only known her as Jane Doe, she refused to reveal her real name, until this morning then she only gave me Chris." Mary defended herself. "And I can't give you information on her, that's privileged."
"OK. Does this mean I can't tell TC?" he asked, unhappy about this prospect.
"I promised her, you don't know the situation she really thinks it's best this way." Mary pleaded.
Bobby slowly nodded. Mary skimmed the file of this Christine Kelly one more time and then stood up they were ready to go home.
Mary looked at her first patient sadly, she had gotten different med's again, suppressors, so she wouldn't get so violent anymore. It seemed to drain the spirit out or her, she cried a lot, forgot were she was and got scared easily. The drug may suppress her violent tendencies, but they didn't cure anything, they only seemed to make this woman's agony worse. And her pain was so great already...
Seeing her friend look at her Chris tried to sit up, try to look like she had always done, but then a man fell from his chair and she ducked away into her corner again. Her mind wasn't working properly, and on some level she knew she didn't have to be scared but she was anyway. She wished someone would come and keep her safe...
Mary fed this last patient his jelly and looked at Chris one more time, and despite her promise made a decision.
"Bobby? It's me, Mary. can I talk to you for a little bit?" she asked through the phone on her lunch break.
"Yeah, sure, what is it, hon?" he asked, knowing from the sound of her voice that it was urgent.
"I don't know if this really is something to talk about over the phone but. I don't know what to do about Chris! I mean, on the one hand she really needs the people she loves and hasn't seen in years, but on the other hand she really doesn't want to see them. So, I was thinking that, since she isn't the only one involved here, you could maybe carefully poll her husband, see what he thinks, if he still misses her and that kind of thing." she asked him, knowing it wouldn't be an easy thing to do.
"This is really bothering you. So, yes, I will try it, for your sake, and TC's and Chris' of course. Just don't be mad if he figures out I know more alright? He is a police lieutenant, and usually they aren't stupid." He said, making sure she got the risks involved.
"I know, so, you know how you are going to approach him yet?" she asked, if it was up to her she would know all the details then and there, preferably without a middle man but since that couldn't be the case she wanted to know everything about the middle man too.
"No, but I have got to go now, I have to be on my bike in about ten seconds."
"OK, hurry then, and be careful." She said.
"Always am." He said and she knew he had put the phone down, probably after someone had signalled him. She put her phone away too and quickly ate her home-made lunch.
Bobby nor Mary was aware of the figure standing by the filing cabinet that had overheard Bobby's side of the conversation. So neither could know the inner battle that suddenly enflamed her.
Monica was wondering what the right thing to do would be. She had heard Bobby talking to his girlfriend, she heard him saying that he knew more about Chris and TC but that he wasn't going to tell. Why would he be talking to his girlfriend about this? Monica asked herself, well, because she knows about the situation, by the sounds of it she had even brought it up, she was troubled by it. And what would he try exactly? Monica decided to keep her mouth shut for the moment and monitor Bobby closely, after all, she couldn't know exactly what was going on.
End of Chapter 1.
Did you like it? Do you even want me to continue? Tell me what I am doing wrong (and right :P).. In other words, review :D