146[+]
Alphys and Toriel play Deltarune
A surprise Alphys and the Queen bonus chapter
10 p.m. Halloween night, last year.
Alphys sat frozen at the desk, staring. Pop-up windows filled the screen.
"This program has been installed by fewer than 50 monsters in the Underground. Are you sure you want to continue?" "This program may change your computer's settings." "An unknown program has been detected trying to use cookies." "This program does not have an authorized kernel. Authorize?" "Your other computers will probably not feel safe around you if you install this program. Install?" "This program is from an unknown publisher and cannot be confirmed Undernet-safe. Continue anyway?"
Windows layered over windows with warnings. "You are taking your heart into your hands if you continue to install this program." A heart-shaped cursor vacillated between options reading "Install" and "Don't".
"WARNING," blared one window in yellow and blue. "THERE ARE TOO MNAY WARNING WINDOWS ON YOUR SCREEN i AM SCARED [click here for details]"
"T-T-T-Toriel!" yelled Alphys, not taking her eyes off the screen. "I... I th—If you're a-available, I think you'd, um... better, um..."
Heavy, muffled footsteps hurried along the hall. The door opened and Toriel was there. She had her nightgown on, unbuttoned, but in place of her nightcap, her Easter bunny hood still sat on her head, tall ears sprightly if a bit weary from the day's events. Alphys couldn't criticize, as she was still wearing the cat ears from her own costume. She wasn't dressed as Mew Mew, of course—that would be too obvious. She was Nyani, the original cat girl who'd died tragically in a misguided initiative by the Japanese military but had contributed genetic content to the eventual birth of Mew Mew. (Of course, that hadn't stopped people from complimenting her all day long on her Mew Mew costume, or her catgirl costume, or her person-with-external-ears costume.) She took in her wife's appearance with a tremulous glance, then turned to indicate the computer. "L-l-l-look!"
Toriel leaned down and peered at the screen bustling with intersecting warnings, some of which were starting to jostle each other for dominance. "Alphys, is this a computer issue? Have you called me out of bed just because you have damaged your computer?"
"N-no! Look!" She minimized some of the windows and fought back against the new ones that popped up until the website was visible: white letters on black in a familiar font. "Do you remember that game the Annoying Dog made about our lives? It looks... it looks like it finally... there's another one!"
Toriel's lips pursed, then parted in shock. "If that is true, then..."
Alphys looked meaningfully at her. "Then we've... we've got to play it, right?"
Slowly, wordlessly, Toriel fastened a single button of her nightgown, pulled out her computer chair, and sat down. She lowered the chair at the same time Alphys was adjusting up the height of the table; both women overshot and Toriel gave Alphys a troubled look. After a little more tinkering, they had both attained a comfortable height and a window popped up:
"MUFFET'S ANTI-MALWARE WEB has detected a potential virus! Name: SURVEY_PROGRAM. What would you like me to do, dearie? {Ensnare / Devour / Dismember / Invite Into Your Parlour}"
With a nervous glance at her partner, Alphys chose the last option and ran the installation program. The user service agreement popped up with starkly simple text: YOU ACCEPT EVERYTHING THAT WILL HAPPEN FROM NOW ON."
"Well," said Toriel.
"W-w-well," agreed Alphys, staring.
They wheeled back a bit. "I suppose," Toriel reasoned, "that if we simply learn to accept everything in our lives, it will probably bring us contentment."
"Um... I g-guess that makes sense?"
"After all, what is the alternative to acceptance? Discontentment? Shall we clench our fists and rage at the injustice of the world, swearing to bring down the powers that be?"
Alphys glanced at the royal seal on the wall of her laboratory. "That's, um. Th-that's kind of... us, now."
"Precisely," said Toriel.
"B-but Tori! I don't want to accept everything! I... I don't accept that you're going to get old! J-just... just as a for-instance. I want you to be immortal the way you used to be! And I don't accept that we're trapped underground... or that... or that humans have to be our enemies... or that—"
"Shhh, my dear one." Toriel held two fingers to her own lips, and, as if sharing a consecrated sacrament, touched them gently to Alphys's forehead. "That is fine. We can continue to fight for what we wish to change in the world."
"B-b-but..."
"Is that not part of what will happen? We can accept everything that will happen from now on... INCLUDING our efforts to influence what those events are. For those, too, are things that will happen."
"Um—y-y-yeah!" agreed Alphys, understanding. "And if I... when something happens that I don't accept... not accepting it is part of what I'm choosing to accept!"
Toriel smiled. "I think we are on the same page." She reached out for the mouse and selected the "I Accept" button.
The computer seemed to turn inside-out as all the warning boxes dissolved into smithereens. Then the program opened, and all the flashy warnings were replaced with a single, silent message.
"Are you
there?
Are we
connected?"
"This is quite creepy," muttered Toriel.
"Um... do you th-think we should..."
Toriel nodded. "I will make the apple cider."
"Um!" said Alphys, staring at an endlessly fluctuating purple tunnel. Though they were deep enough in the castle not to hear anything from outside, she knew monsters were still roving out there, and would probably be engaging in various antics well past midnight. "Make it green apple cider," she suggested. "It's Halloween!"
"With vanilla ice cream?"
Alphys licked her lips. Her tastes had changed a bit from when she'd lived alone. "Y-y-you bet!"
When Toriel returned, Alphys gratefully took a cup and slurped down a big, creamy gulp. She shook her snout and licked her lips. "Mm!"
Toriel looked at the screen. "Are we choosing the appearance of our character?"
"Um, yes… but I waited for you!"
"That was considerate of you! Hmm."
Toriel took over the mouse and spent several minutes selecting a head and torso, eventually opting for the button-up jacket without buttons. Now she sat with her tongue in her cheek, squinting at the leg options.
"Um... Toriel?"
"One minute, my love. I am still deciding."
"Tori... I think... those are all the same."
Toriel looked at her wife, brow furrowed and lips pursed. "They are hardly the same. The differences are merely subtle."
"Um." Alphys looked again. She was pretty sure they were all identical, down to the pixel. Oh—"I g-guess that's one a... mirror image?"
Toriel sighed and made her selection. "I beg your pardon. It is just that... I miss all of my children dearly, and this... it is almost as if I am..."
"Creating a n-new child?"
She frowned. "...Of a sort. Alphys, what is your blood type?"
"...Um. I... don't, um. Have one? I'm a monster... like you?"
Toriel wrinkled her mouth. "That is what I thought. Perhaps I should have asked, what is a blood type? I am not familiar with the term, but I thought that perhaps one does not need blood to have one."
"Blood is... something that humans have. I think it's mainly for... l-letting you know if you've been hurt? Or if you h-have a crush on someone, then it shows up... in your nose?"
"How odd." Toriel added a wrinkled nose to her various facial creases before selecting "C".
"B-blood type C?" asked Alphys.
"For cake," explained Toriel.
"Ah! I see."
"How sweet! It is asking us to give our creation a gift!"
"It's... it's like we're making a whole person from scratch! Um... I noticed you chose kindness and... you didn't ask me for my opinion."
Toriel's eyes widened. "You are right! I am sorry, Alphys. We are doing this together, after all. But really, would you expect me to choose anything but kindness?"
"I kind of wonder... if you choose voice, does it start t-talking out loud?"
"That would be something! Shall we declare that we feel love for our creation?" Toriel laid her hands, businesslike, atop one another on the desk as she turned to face her consort.
Alphys couldn't say no. "Y-yes?"
Toriel nodded as if she been given the correct answer. "Have we answered honestly?"
Alphys started to shake. "Um... I think so? I mean... how could we not have? We're making it up, aren't we?"
The boss monster peered thoughtfully at the screen. "I believe so. Very well." She pressed onward, then frowned anew. "Alphys? Do we acknowledge the possibility of pain and seizure?"
"Um. Aheh."
"I suppose I must acknowledge that such things exist somewhere in the world," said Toriel gruffly.
"But! What if they come to us, through this game!"
"...That is a good point," said Toriel. She chose "NO."
"UNDERSTOOD," said the game. "NAME YOUR VESSEL."
"I—I'm not e-entirely sure it did understand, Toriel!"
"Well. It is only a video game, after all." She considered, then entered the name 'ZIGGY'.
"The name of your first child?" asked Alphys.
"Somehow, this character reminds me of Ziggy. I cannot say why, but I... would very much like to witness them alive again, if only through a fictional creation. Is that all right?"
Alphys nodded a few times. "That's fine. Um... what are we going to put for our own name?"
Toriel paused, unsure. Then she entered 'LPHIEL' into the interface.
Alphys squealed and cupped her hands over her mouth at what came next.
"Oh my," said Toriel, watching. "Oh!"
Alphys stared. "It... how could they! It's throwing a-a-all we did away!"
Toriel gaped in astonishment. "Halloween is truly a terrible holiday," she whispered.
"I don't know... I, uh... kind of like it! Oh!" She'd stopped short because there, on the screen, was a sprite of Toriel... and a portrait of her face, calling for her child, Kris, to get up.
"Oh my," said Toriel.
"Um... Tori..." Alphys grinned naughtily and poked her wife with her tail. "You're our mom."
"I am no such—!" But the evidence on the screen couldn't be denied. She grinned, awareness dawning. "I am my own child," she cooed.
"We! ...We're your own child!"
"We certainly are." Toriel put an arm around Alphys as she continued to press the action key.
Alphys's cup of green cider was half empty. She didn't mind, though; she knew there would be plenty more.
The game listed titles from the bookshelf. "Can Snails Help Your Garden? Um, Not Really."
"But snails are good for one's garden!" Toriel objected. "I learned that from Asgore and employed snails in my humble patch in the Ruins."
"Well!" Alphys replied. "I g-g-guess the Annoying Dog d-didn't do its research?"
Toriel pushed through. "A history, by Gerson Boom. That is odd. Gerson's last name is not Boom."
"Really? What is it?" asked Alphys.
"It is Turklesmith. How curious."
"Do... do you suppose it could be a joke?"
Toriel crossed her eyes. "Unless it is some kind of silly video game reference, I am assuming it is an anagram. 'Deltarune' is an anagram for 'Undertale', after all."
"W-well... I guess that might be possible."
"Do you not have an app or some kind of program that finds anagrams?"
Alphys pulled out her phone and revved up the WordSpinner. Her phone started to hum loudly. "Anagrams for 'GERSON BOOM'," she said into the microphone.
The spinning noise wound down; she looked at the screen. "'BORNEO SMOG'?" she asked.
"I do not even know what that is."
"'SOMBER GOON'?" Alphys read.
"That is just depressing. What else is there?"
"Um... 'MOROSE BONG?'"
Toriel stared and exhaled. "Very well. We will move on, then."
They had traversed the town, recognizing familiar faces, and had arrived at school. "It's me!" cried Alphys. "I—I'm the schoolteacher!"
"How queer!" replied Toriel.
Alphys looked over in concern. "Um... do you really think it's queer? Am I... am I that bad at teaching, Toriel?"
"Oh, no, not at all. You are an exceptional teacher and I am lucky to have your instruction. It is just that, in the previous game, I was the schoolteacher!"
Alphys thought back. "Oh, right! In the credits."
"It is as if the Dog is trolling us."
Alphys always found it weird when Toriel talked about trolling. "You... you really like that word, huh?"
"It is one of Sans's."
"Um... J-just today, when the spiders tried to sell you a Halloween newspaper, b-but charged more than usual, you said they were trolling their readers."
"The listed price was 'One more Gold than you currently have on your person.' Was I using the word incorrectly?"
"W-well, maybe not, but... I once heard you say an apple tree was trolling monsters by growing overripe fruit."
"I suppose I may have—"
"A-and that plums are trolling us by having pits... and snails troll us by moving so slowly..."
"It is possible I have become overfond of the word," Toriel admitted. "Whom should we select for our partner?"
ALPHYS ON THE SCREEN: How about this? If no one speaks up... e-everyone gets in trouble!
Toriel scowled at the real Alphys, sitting next to her.
Alphys swivieled frantically to face her. "Wh-what? I didn't... that isn't really me on the screen!"
"Yet it is the sort of thing you might say."
"What do... Tori, are you u-upset with me because of something you think I might say, if I were a teacher?"
Toriel reflected. "…You are right. That was unfair of me."
"Whew," breathed Alphys, turning away.
"I will test you instead," Toriel continued. "What would you do in this situation?"
Alphys jerked back, her chair swinging too far. She kicked her legs helplessly. "Uh… I guess I'd… go get some more chalk and keep it in my desk?"
"You would be leaving the classroom unsupervised! What if the children were to find trouble in your absence?"
The lizard's jaw chattered. "Uh… I guess I could send one of them to get the chalk instead?"
"That is an acceptable answer," nodded Toriel, pressing [Z] again.
A formidable new figure, purple and looking for trouble, entered the scene.
ALPHYS ON THE SCREEN: H… Hi, SUSIE.
"Susie?!" exclaimed real-life Alphys.
"Oh dear," said Toriel. "She would appear to be… a troubled child."
"But… but that's not Suzy!" Alphys cried. "Suzy is a mouse! A-and she's not school-age, either."
Toriel frowned. "Our royal scientist is not the same Suzy. Her name is spelled differently."
Alphys looked again. "Oh. Huh… you're right. I… I wonder why the Dog would create a new character with the same name as someone we know, but spelled different. A-and with a totally different personality."
"And yet, the hint from the last game as to her identity could still be correct. As you can see, she is bullying us rather severely. It is altogether possible she could be the reason this child came to Mount Ebott."
"Y-you mean… to get away from her?" asked Alphys.
Toriel nodded sagely while the characters on screen faced off (no pun intended) in the hallway to some rather strident guitar licks.
"But Mrs. Clamydia said Suzy was her neighbor's daughter! This Susie lives on the surface—she couldn't be neighbors with Mrs. Clamydia!"
"That is indeed perplexing," said Toriel. "So we have a character who shares a name—in phonetics if not spelling—and a potential motivational role with a real person… but not the specifics of appearance, personality, age, or place of residence."
"It's a-almost as if the Annoying Dog f-forgot what it was doing!"
"Do you suppose this game might be meant as a…" Toriel crossed her eyes. "…an alternate history? In which monsters before the great war lived in modern accomodations?"
"B-but then what am I doing there?" asked Alphys.
"That is a point. Perhaps the story is a mixture of past and present."
"You mean a s-sort of mash-up of… AUs, historical fiction, mainstream fiction and, um… near future speculation?" asked Alphys skeptically.
"You are right. It is more likely it forgot what it was doing."
"Maybe it was making both of these games at the same time and got mixed up about which one it was—oh shards, don't go any deeper into the closet! It d-doesn't have the chalk, guys! Come back!"
SUSIE: If Alphys wants chalk so badly, she can get it herself.
"I... I agree!" cried Alphys. "She should come back to me and report a... a broken closet."
"And what would you do about it?" asked Toriel.
"Um… I guess I'd… ask her how exactly it was broken, and then I'd… get someone to watch the class, and then go and—"
The ground fell away and the figures on the screen plummeted into darkness.
Alphys was controlling the human figure now, eyes rapt on the screen. "In this land, only eyes blinded by darkness can see the way," she read from the placard on the wall. "Um… that's kind of weird," said Alphys. "R-r-right?"
"It does have challenging implications," Toriel replied. "But then, both of us are wearing false ears that do not hear."
Alphys fingered her felted cat ears, night cotton shaped over wires. "And… and only ears like these can hear the way?"
Toriel's bunny ears were sagging now, though her real ears, visible beneath the hood, were even floppier and no less long or white. "Perhaps the identity they gave me for the day was capable of hearing the way, after a fashion. I must say… at my age, it was enjoyable to portray a symbol of rebirth!"
Alphys goggled at her. "Oh, Tori… you're always a symbol of rebirth!"
Toriel's muzzle stiffened. "Do you believe I am nothing but a symbol?"
"Nope," replied Alphys. "You're a bunch of symbols, a-a-all at once. And you're a real, wonderful person, too."
It wasn't long before they met another remarkable ruler who might arguably have been some kind of symbol. "Welcome," said the mysterious figure. "I am the prince of this kingdom… The KINGDOM OF DARKNESS."
"He has sweatdrops on the outside of his cowl," Toriel observed. "That is something."
"I guess some people are just n-naturally nervous?"
The prophecy played out in text and illustrations on the screen. "But in the east, a new fountain appears... And with it, the balance begins to shift..." And they returned to the normal view. "Thank you for listening to my legend," said Ralsei.
"Wait," said Toriel, mouth tight. "What is this fountain that has appeared? Is he saying it will appear, or it has already appeared?"
"I'm still wondering what it means for the earth to draw her f-final breath," said Alphys. "And, um... it's only then that the three heroes appear?"
"Are these three characters the three heroes?" asked Toriel. "If so, does that mean the sky has already clouded in darkness, and the earth has already been rent?"
"It didn't look rent in the above-ground section of the game! B-but I guess maybe that's why this world has all these narrow walkways and sharp dropoffs?"
"That is not so different from Hotland or Waterfall," observed Toriel. "Yet those lands are not rent."
"U-u-unless they are! Because that's how we get our geothermal energy!"
Torial placed her hands atop each other on the desk. "Oh, I see! So for the earth to be rent is a good thing."
"Um… as far as I can… figure out?"
"That leaves the question of what exactly we, as heroes, are trying to accomplish."
"Um… un… unrend it?" posited Alphys.
Which fountain do you suppose we are meant to close?" pressed Toriel. "The FOUNTAIN of DARKNESS or the newer, more distant fountain that has shifted the balance?"
"I-I-I don't know," said Alphys, tapping her phone. "I just know that one anagram for FOUNTAIN is… TUNA INFO."
Toriel's brows knit.
Before long, they were in a combat tutorial. Hold on," said Alphys, scooting her chair over and pushing Toriel's a bit to the side. "I want to try something."
Toriel sat and watched patiently while Alphys repeatedly selected the Fight option, then failed to hit the [Z] button to actually fight the training dummy.
"What are you doing, doctor?"
Alphys grinned, the tip of her tongue showing. "I just want… I'm trying to mess with him!"
On the screen, Ralsei became increasingly frustrated in his quiet way, telling the player to hit the [Z] button over the white rectangle. "You know rectangles?" he implored. "They're like messed-up squares?"
"This has become excessively cruel," chided Toriel.
"Um… okay," said Alphys, now meek. She went ahead properly with the tutorial. "You don't like being cruel even to… to video game characters, huh?"
"They have as much right to happiness as you or I. Moreover, there is something familiar about this dark prince. The way he acts when he is flustered… his inveterate sweetness…"
Alphys peered at her. "Y-yes?"
Toriel gasped, suddenly bringing a hand to her mouth. "He is just like my Asriel! Even the shape of his ear…!"
"Oh. Well, sure," said Alphys. "I figured you knew that. I-I mean, RALSEI is an anagram for ASRIEL."
Toriel's mouth opened widely. "My son was on the screen and you did not think it worth mentioning?"
"I—I thought you realized!" protested Alphys, scooting her chair back.
"How odd, though. My character in the introduction said that Asriel was visiting in a week. So are we to take it that he exists in the main storyline, but also in this imaginary world of darkness?"
"M-m-maybe he's an exchange student?"
"…An exchange student to a world of darkness inside of a supply closet."
"…where he has to dress in black all the time in order to fit in?"
"Well, Alphys. That is a theory."
They were making good progress now and had fought several battles. Alphys was on her second cup of warm cider while Toriel was still nursing her first stein.
RALSEI: You made a team purely of SUPPORT ENEMIES. It's like a dinner made out of three glasses of milk.
LANCER: …And that's, um... unusual, somehow?
"Oh, really," said Toriel, planting her head heavily on the table. "That is not even a semblance of a balanced meal. Besides, spades do not drink milk."
"Um… how would you know what spades drink, Tori? Y-you're a heart." Alphys grinned, recalling their games of bridge and how they'd each chosen a suit to identify with.
"Indeed. And you are a diamond made from carbon. I suppose we had better ask Sans, then, as he was our spade."
Alphys pulled out her cell phone and speed-dialed the royal judge, barely even pausing to wonder whether he was awake.
The answer was prompt. "yo."
"Uh… Sans? Toriel and I are playing a video game and… we, uh…"
"a video game in the middle of the night, huh? sounds like the kingdom's in good hands."
"Um… right… so, th-there's a character in the game who says, um…well, another character says, 'It's like drinking three glasses of milk for dinner'… and the first character… I-I mean the se—the second character says, um…"
Toriel gently relieved her of the phone. "Would you consider it unusual, Sans, to drink three glasses of milk for dinner?"
The phone was silent a few moments. "you know what, tori? i think this is one of those questions you can't really handle over the phone. i'd better come over there."
"Oh, really. Sans, we are occupied! It is a simple question."
"i'll be right over." There was a click. The two queens looked at each other.
"Well, doctor. Now look what you have done."
"Me? But Tori… you're the one who asked the question!"
Toriel scowled. "I suppose we could instruct the guards not to let him in."
"Um… y-you know that'll never work, right?"
"That is true." Toriel looked at the phone in her hands. "I could simply call him back and tell him that it is not important, and he need not come."
"B-but you know if you try calling him now, it'll just… ring forever and he'll never answer."
Toriel sighed. "That is also true. I suppose we are stuck with reheating the green apple cider and welcoming him to our party."
Alphys chuckled. "Th-that's what we get for being silly," she volunteered.
Toriel smiled. "Yes, I suppose you are correct. Shall we continue?"
The strange shopkeeper with a button for an eye now stared at them, offering dialogue choices.
Toriel sat with her hands in her lap. "In the previous game, I always enjoyed reading what the shopkeepers had to say.
Especially when that crocodile and the cat lady told stories about your childhood together. It was so illuminating!"
"Um… y-yeah! I like shopkeeper dialogue, too!"
"Would you read it aloud to me, my valued consort?"
Alphys perked up. "I'd uh… I'd be glad to!" She scooted up and took over. "Shall we ask about Lightners?"
"Let us do so."
Alphys read:
SEAM: Long ago, the Darkners lived in harmony with the Lightners. They were like Gods to us. Our protectors. Our creators. Those who gave us purpose… Then one day we were all locked away in this prison… and the Lightners never returned.
"Those who gave us purpose," Toriel echoed. "In what way do you suppose they did that?"
Alphys sat and thought a while. "Oh!" she realized. "It's, um. It's simple! The Darkners are just… well, they're all game pieces, right? Cards and puzzle pieces and like that?"
"I suppose that would appear to be the case."
"W-well… the purpose was, um… to be played with! The Lightners… were like us, and they… they, um… played with them."
Toriel sat forward. "Do you think it is really that simple?"
"It… kind of looks that way?"
"Well. If that is the entire problem, it is easily solved! Kris and Susie must simply return to the world above and tell everyone that they must play with the games in the supply closet, for they are… lonely."
"But Toriel! Will anyone believe them?"
"That is a fair point. Yet they can play with the games there, whether anyone believes them or not."
They shortly arrived at the battle against C. Round. "That checker has the annoying dog's face, does it not?" asked Toriel.
Alphys looked closely and grinned. "You're right! Um… I guess that's what they call a… self-insert?"
Toriel grimaced. "I am fairly sure that is not how a self-insert works."
"A… a lot of the time, when you do a self-insert, you, uh… you give your own traits to a character you admire."
"Does that mean the Annoying Dog aspires to be… round and large?"
"And to wear a crown!" said Alphys. "A-a-and to have big graceful legs?"
"Well, it is healthy to have aspirations."
"Hey Tori… wh-why didn't I get all big and graceful when I became a queen? D-does it only work for kings?"
"It did not work because you are not the Queen Regnant. You should have seen me before I queened up originally."
"Oh Tori! Are you saying you… weren't beautiful?"
"I was plenty beautiful, my sweet one. I was a Chihuahua."
Alphys blanched. "What?! Not really! You… y-you're kidding, right?"
Toriel laughed and scooted her chair forward to hug Alphys. "I am joking, yes. But would it be so bad if I had once been a Chihuahua?"
"I think it… I would have to, um, recalibrate all my… fantasies."
"Is that something that you do regularly, Alphys?"
"Erp! Um… it… it might be?"
"Is there any chance I could be allowed to help?"
Alphys laughed nervously. "But you're in most of my fantasies!" she countered.
"So much the better. I am well qualified to recalibrate them."
"I… think this is getting kind of abstract," said Alphys. She pulled reluctantly away and returned to the game.
LANCER: Well well well… Look who is it is. The Sweet Little Peas we Love to See.
SUSIE: Hey! Watch your language!
"If he is trying to insult them," remarked Toriel, "he is doing a remarkably poor job."
"I… I agree!" said Alphys. "This is even worse than when he… when he said, 'STEP on my BOOTS.'"
LANCER: Hoho! Yes! Earn a second doctorate, Smart Genius!
RALSEI: (Am I being made fun of?)
"There are some people who would pay good coin to have this boy come and insult them," Toriel quipped.
"Aheheh… yes! It would… I mean, I personally…"
"Would it be good for your esteem, doctor?"
Alphys blushed at Toriel. "Um… probably? I mean, I like your compliments more, but…"
"Do you mean you do not care for my insults?" Toriel teased.
"No! I mean… yes, I actually… your insults are really nice. Not that you… tell a lot of them, but…"
"I try to be considerate even when I am insulting someone," Toriel explained.
"I… I guess that's how Lancer was brought up, too?"
"Or perhaps he is simply a natural," speculated Toriel.
"It's on all the paper, you delicious little apple!"
"…Definitely a natural," said Alphys.
"What sort of destructive machine should we create?" asked Toriel.
"W-well," said Alphys, pushing through the menu. "I… sort of like ducks. What do you think?"
They wandered onward. Toriel was in control again, and Alphys was munching slowly on Halloween-colored popato chisps from an orange paper plate.
"Have you considered the possibility that Lancer is actually helping us?" Toriel suggested.
"H-helping? What do you mean?"
"It is true, he has been playing at the role of enemy and thwarting our intentions. But what if that is precisely what is required by the prophecy?"
"Oh! The prophecy! R-right. Um… so, we could just be walking to the castle without any interruptions… but…"
"But if we do not meet with resistance, perhaps we will have no reason to seal the fountain that we are supposed to seal," said Toriel. "So, even though he is pretending to be a villain…"
"He's really… he's helping out!" continued Alphys. "And he's helping Susie help out, too!"
"sounds like my kind of prophecy," remarked Sans.
Alphys spun her chair around so fast she couldn't stop it from spinning. "Sans! Whoa… Wh-uh-uh. Whoa."
"hey," said the skeleton, ambling in from the room's corner. "i heard there was milk?"
Toriel out reached a hand to stabilize Alphys's chair. "That is not precisely what I said on the phone."
"huh. funny. 'cause that's what I heard."
Toriel indicated the kitchenette adjoining the laboratory. "It is Halloween. There is green apple cider, to which you may help yourself."
"Don't mind if I do," said Sans, wandering from the room. First came silence, while the two women waited. Then they heard a number of clinks and tinks, accompanied by the inexplicable sound of bouncing rubber. Then silence again.
"W-well," said Alphys, turning back to the game.
LANCER: Earlier, Susie ate a pinecone off the floor. It gave her a terrible stomachache. It was VERY brave and cool.
SUSIE: SEE? Finally, some RESPECT!
"Is this what it feels like to be starved for respect?" inquired Toriel.
"Oh. W-well… m-maybe for some people?" Alphys answered. "For me, it was more like… creating secret Undernet accounts so that I could p-point out things about my favorite shows without bothering the people who… were sick of me pointing things out about them… b-because if more than one person's doing it, then… it's not a…"
Toriel rescued her. "I see. I think we can safely say your experience and Susie's were somewhat different."
"Um. That's fair. I never bullied anyone. I was more of a… bully…ee?"
Toriel wrapped her arms around the back of Alphys's chair, closing them over her belly. "Now that you are here, you will be treated with nothing but love."
"Aww! Tori!"
Sans wandered out from the kitchen at that point, holding a metal bowl of hot cider high in one hand and a plastic bowl of pretzels in the other. "taking a break, huh? now there's a couple of queens close to my own heart."
"Th-this whole game is kind of… a break from the work of ruling the kingdom," Alphys explained sheepishly.
"so you're taking a break from taking a break, then? I gotcha. too many breaks can make a person tired."
"They are necessary if one wishes to stay young!" riposted Toriel. "Besides, it is a holiday."
Sans sipped from his bowl of cider. "oh yeah. halloween. is that really you, tori, or are you really alphys in disguise?"
Alphys snickered, fingering her cat ears. "A-and then, would I be Toriel in disguise?"
Sans shrugged. "probably better to enjoy the mystery. what if I'm you in disguise? wouldn't that be a hoot?"
Alphys stared for a moment, contemplating this. "Um. S-so… would you like to see our game, Sans? It's called Deltarune and we've been playing for a while."
"deltarune, huh? emblem of the visiting angel?"
"It has been the motif of my household ever since the prophecy was made," Toriel explained. "These days, I am inclined to believe the angel was Frisk, who is working hard to free us from our prison. But perhaps the Annoying Dog has other notions."
"I… I think the angel in this game is a bad guy," put in Alphys. "We saw something about b-banishing something called… the ANGEL's HEAVEN?"
"wow. all caps and everything. didn't know heaven was something you could banish."
"We do not know yet who this angel is. Is it possible, Alphys, that they are also the Knight?"
"Um…w-well, if an angel told me they wanted to be a knight, too… I guess I wouldn't say no? Some of the best characters are combinations of things. L-like a zombie robot sheriff? Or a monkey ninja pirate!"
"sounds like a pretty intense game. all right—I'll stick around and watch."
"I seem to recall, Sans, that you came here on the pretense of answering a question."
"a question? oh, right. the glasses of milk?"
"That is the one."
He devoted himself visibly to thought. "you were wondering… would I think of it as unusual, if someone were to drink three glasses of milk, and nothing else, for dinner?"
"That is precisely so."
"well." His eyes flashed for a moment. "i dunno, tori. i think it'd be COWardly."
Toriel rose from her chair, nostrils flaring. Alphys clawed at her from her own chair. "Oh… Oh no, Toriel, s-sit down!"
"Are you telling me, Sans, that you came all this way simply in order to deliver that milquetoast pun?"
"what can i say? i thought you might find it mooving."
"It is perhaps two percent of the way to humorous."
Sans shrugged. "no skim off my teeth."
"And you could not tell it on the phone because…"
"I—I think he wanted to see the expression on your face," interjected Alphys.
"i kinda thought I could get you to smile, tori. but now I can see i was wrong. The joke didn't even go pasteurize."
Toriel's eyes sparked, and then she snorted, and then she smiled. "Very well, Sans. You are reluctantly forgiven. Will you join us for our late-at-night diversion?"
Sans plopped down in a swivel chair and chomped the end off a pretzel. "already have. so what comes next?"
Alphys reseated herself and took the mouse with determination. "That! We find out together."
SUSIE: If you beat me, I'll go back to being a good guy. But if you LOSE, YOU guys will have to have to become bad guys with us! And do WHATEVER we say!
"This feels very much like a child's game," said Toriel.
"W-well.. I guess that's the whole… motif? Games, I mean. An—and children?"
"It is suggesting that evil is simply the product of children's games, and not something to be truly feared."
"now that's a scary thought," said Sans.
Alphys frowned. "W-well… maybe that is the root of all evil! If people never get over the urges they h-have as children… but then they… grow up!"
Toriel sat in silence. "That is an unsettling thought."
"isn't it though?" asked the skeleton.
"I do not like thinking of children as evil."
"sure," said Sans. "but that's how they get you."
Again, Ralsei had spoken, this time to Lancer, of how the true purpose of Darkners could only be fulfilled through assisting Lightners. And now, as if in a perversion of this concept, Lancer and Susie had split off into their own evil team.
LANCER: …but w-what if you had to fight...
SUSIE: Everybody bleeds, right?
Toriel and Alphys exchanged a glance.
"Now I am even more curious about the blood type question at the beginning," said Toriel.
"Wh—what does she mean, everybody bleeds?" asked Alphys. "Is this a… is this an alternate worldline where monsters… are made of blood and… and fluids and things, instead of just… structure and magic?"
Sans came close, green cider spilling over his ribs. His drinking was a mess, as usual, yet somehow he looked satisfied. "i dunno, guys. i don't think there's any way we can B-positive."
NARRATOR: Life cannot exist without consuming. Even the moss drinks water. Perpetuate the cycle of existence?
Alphys looked to her wife. "Um… d-drink the… I mean, eat… eat the moss?"
Toriel made a face. "I will pass on that, thank you."
"But Tori! It's p-probably really healthy moss! It'd be… good for your wool, and… I bet it has a whole bunch of nutrients…"
"I am not averse to eating moss, but I would prefer the genuine Moldsmal-cultured kind."
"You… you uh, like your moss artisanal… huh, Tori?"
"I prefer it edible. That is all." Toriel reached out and selected the "Do not eat" option.
NARRATOR: The cycle ends here, in the corner of a small prison cell..
"Toriel," said Alphys, staring. "Y-you ended… you ended the cycle of existence."
"I apologize, my dear one. But it did have a good run, did it not?"
Alphys stared for a while and didn't answer.
SUSIE: I mean, I could easily smash him, but... you guys, I know that's not really your thing. You're more about, uh, groveling like total losers.
Toriel snickered. "That is your more or less your mode of operation, Alphys, is it not?"
"Aheh! Uh… sometimes, yeah. Groveling can… well, it worked with Asgore, when he was… on my tail about the, um, amalgamates…"
"And of course, it was perfectly effective in resolving that problem," said Toriel.
"Um," said Alphys. "I'm still sorry about that."
"And you are still fired as Royal Scientist," Toriel continued. "It is lucky that there was an open post for which you were better qualified."
Alphys looked uneasy. "A-am I really well qualified as Queen Consort, though?" she asked.
Toriel pulled her chair up against the lizard's and held her close, hugging tenderly. "You are doing an exemplary job. I could scarcely imagine a monster more qualified."
Alphys sighed in relief. "W-well then… let's get back to having a fun time!" In the game, Ralsei and Susie were speaking of cakes.
RALSEI: Then I'll make you as many as you like.
SUSIE: Yeah, like you could make that many, dude.
"oh, susie," said Sans from the doorway. "you have no idea. have you seen toriel in a kitchen? pies and cakes piling up, faster than the eye can see. wham. wham. wham. a million of 'em, before you can blink."
"That is a gross exaggeration, Sans. Beside, that is me, not Ralsei."
"but he's supposed to be your son, right? more or less? i'm guessing the cookie doesn't fall far from the cutter."
"He is an anagram of my son," said Toriel.
"So all he can make is anagrams of pies?"
"Is there an anagram for BUTTERSCOTCH?" Toriel wondered.
Alphys discretely checked her phone's anagrammation app. "Um… CROCHET BUST?"
Toried frowned. "Somehow I doubt that is Ralsei's hobby. We will allow that Susie's riposte was valid."
Alphys looked back to the screen. "I just think it's sweet h-how the two of them are starting to bond."
"Elevator to TOP FLOOR," said the placard. "CURRENTLY STUCK AT THE TOP FLOOR UNTIL SOMEONE RIDES IT DOWN."
Alphys and Toriel exchanged a glance.
"That is certainly how elevators operate," said Toriel.
"Er… y-yep! That's, um… you have to walk up and um… use an elevator before you can… unlock it?"
"I suppose that is the duty of the first person to open any particular building."
"It—it's a big deal," agreed Alphys.
"I wonder if there are professional elevator unlockers, making life easier for the rest of us?"
"I, um… I bet it's a really prestigious job! I bet, um…"
Toriel looked at Sans. "I would imagine our judge would be exceptional at it."
"you got me," said Sans, hands in his pockets. "that's my fifth job, right between puzzle tester and doorstop inspector."
"I did not know you were a puzzle tester, Sans!"
He shrugged. "i'm usually in the control group."
They were in combat against a trio of Hathys.
NARRATOR: You said some sweet lines. The enemies were deeply enamored!
"well how 'bout that?" observed Sans. "kid's got the sweet tongue."
"They are very good at flirting," said Toriel, "so long as they do not have to use any specific words."
RALSEI: Your hair is like a waterfall of... wait, do you you have hair? Or...
SUSIE: So, uh… Come here… often?
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Alphys, covering her face. "These guys flirt as badly as I do!"
"Your flirting possesses a certain charm," comforted Toriel. "While it is true that you stutter, it indicates a profound passion for your subject, I have found."
"A-and a fear of failing," added Alphys.
Toriel touched her nose to the reptile's own, just for a second. "On that count, you need have no fear."
Alphys gulped. "Oh! W-well, how about that!"
Time passed and they grew skilled at combat. Outside, Sans reported, the hubbub of Halloween night had cooled off. Inside their game, the trio had reached the Castle, but were suddenly halted in their progress to solve a profoundly stupid puzzle.
Toriel spoke thoughtfully. "This Rouxls Kaard must be the inspiration for Lancer's Stool Forme."
"I… I think you're right, Tori."
"not only that," said Sans. "i wouldn't be surprised if my brother studied under him. of course, pap obviously refined his technique."
Alphys and Toriel shared a brief glance. It was the first time they could remember Sans joking at his departed brother's expense.
"Y-y-you're right," Alphys allowed. "There's… I can see something of your brother's style in Kaard's work!"
Soon enough, the Spades King stood before them, corpulent and baleful.
SPADES KING: You that left us in the shadows, stripped of meaning… you DARE return to torment us once again?
"I… I didn't do anything like that!" squealed Alphys.
"hmm," said Sans. "guess he's been lonely for so long he's afraid to stop."
Toriel opened her mouth to speak, then checked herself. "Do you know, Sans? I believe I know exactly what you mean."
SPADES KING: Begone! We have found fresh purpose. For the knight has appeared. The knight that pulls the Fountains from the Earth.
"I wonder who that could be," Toriel wondered.
"His cape just... flew away. Like a bat," Alphys observed.
"they don't make 'em like that anymore," said Sans.
"D-did they ever make them like that?"
"nope. and not anymore, either."
The battle won, they spoke to the grateful monsters in turn. Naturally, they had taken a pacifistic route through the game, and here it appeared to be paying off.
MR. ELEGANCE: Darn, horsey. You've'n done us a big help. Now all'n of us pieces can live in peaces. Boy, my nostrils can't thank you enough.
Alphys looked at Toriel. "D-do you suppose… Mr. Elegance could be… the Knight?"
Toriel grunted. "Well. He does have that superficial appearance. But he does not seem to be in command of things, does he?"
"Well… I mean, he is modest."
"He did not hesitate to take credit for the teleportation door he helped to build."
"Well no, but he gave Mr. Society credit too. And Mr. Society doesn't seem like the helpful type."
"Perhaps giving credit to Mr. Society was not actually an act of humility," said Toriel. "He seems to want to avoid credit."
"i dunno. if someone doesn't want credit, is it modest to give it to them?" asked Sans. "maybe that's another side of the vanity coin."
"L-like double negatives," agreed Alphys.
ROUXLS KAARD: I shall giveth a plate of worms for thou silence.
"Deal!" cried Alphys. "Especially if they're gummy worms!"
"Are you fond of gummy worms, my sweet?"
"W-well, I don't get to have them very often. But who would we even tell about Rouxls Kaard, anyway? Is anyone actually keeping track?"
"The story is probably marginally better his way, in any case," Toriel agreed.
CLOVER: Come to our next b-day, too~!
We'll have one SOON!
... if that's... possible…
Toriel frowned. "If what is possible? To have another birthday sooner than one year hence? Or for the Lightners to attend it?"
"Well… either, I guess!" said Alphys.
"oh, you can have b-days pretty much as often as you want," contributed Sans. "you don't gotta make them all birthdays. You can have baggie days… booger days… basket-weaving days…"
"M-maybe boy days," suggested Alphys.
Toriel pressed through further dialogue with concern. "I do not even know how to pronounce 'Bgreat bwork'. It would seem that these odd creatures contain a hidden message."
Alphys blushed as she realized. "Oh gosh… they're spelling BOOB!"
"guess clover's into boob-day parties," said Sans.
"I would prefer to imagine they are meant to spell 'BOOBYTRAP'," said Toriel.
"But.. B-but then where did the others go?"
"I presume they were at a party, and fell into a trap."
"a party boobytrap?"
"W-well, why not?" said Alphys. "It's a palindrome, you know."
LANCER: Lightners are now legal! Second, prison is now only for dads!
Alphys sat up straight and stretched her feet. "Wow, Toriel... s-sounds almost like he's pretending to be you!"
"To be me? Do you mean how I declared that humans would be treated with compassion if they fell, not with brutality?"
Alphys nodded vehemently. "You've a-always been big on the compassion."
Toriel nodded somberly. "In truth, animal ears and noses should play a larger role in our penal system."
On the screen, Ralsei revealed himself, as expected, to have been Asriel the whole time. While Alphys controlled things, Toriel watched with a hand pressed firmly to her chest. Kris and Susie finally returned from the world of the Darkners and found themselves… in an unused classroom, strewn with game pieces.
SUSIE: Everyone else must have gone home by now. Guess Alphys'll know better then to ask US next time, huh?
"Um," said Alphys. "A-a-actually, I think I made a good decision in asking you to go, Susie. You seemed to have a t-transformative experience, and… I think it was good for you?"
"yeah, nice call, alph."
"It would seem we were correct about the purpose of the Darkners," Toriel observed. "They are simply a collection of neglected game pieces. Their king claimed we had left them in the shadows, stripped of meaning…"
"Oh yeah. That is really clear. Um, sorry, game pieces. We didn't, um. We didn't know you were sentient."
"you think maybe these two imagined the whole thing?" asked Sans.
The queens exchanged a glance. "I… suppose maybe… that could be one way of looking at it?" replied Alphys.
"They have wound up in this empty classroom," said Toriel. "Yet perhaps that is the sort of thing that happens when one plays hookey."
"Oh gosh, look, Toriel!" Alphys pointed to the screen. "The Throne of the Gods!"
Toriel crossed her eyes. "It is simply a stack of nested classroom chairs."
"Why don't you ever make thrones like that for me? A-a-am I your consort, or aren't I?"
In the empty classroom, "Ms. Toriel" was written on the dry erase board on the wall.
"Oh! What a relief," exclaimed Toriel. "I am a teacher here too."
"We're coworkers!" cried Alphys, delighted.
"It would be a joy to go to work every day knowing you will be there."
"B-but… you do! I mean… I don't always go to work with you, Tori, but if you want me…"
"I am not saying my actual life is not a joy. I am just saying that this alternate universe would be a joy as well. Imagine if we were simple citizens of a town together, rather than queens of the realm?"
Alphys slouched in her chair and stuck her feet out. "That would be nice, huh? Just… planning out what to teach for the next week… hanging out in the teacher's lounge and discussing… um… teachery things? Apples?"
"I would be glad to discuss apple cultivars with you, my dear one. But for now…" She looked at the picture on the classroom computer's background. "Oh! A picture of Kris and their brother from Halloween."
"Halloween eight years ago!" said Alphys. "That's kind of funny. I figured Kris probably wasn't much older than that. I guess they must be, like… t-twelve? You can dress up a four-year-old human, right?"
Toriel nodded sagely. "Let us leave this school and see if this game has an ending."
TORIEL ON THE SCREEN ON THE PHONE: I sat in the car waiting for you after school for half an hour!
Toriel's ears expanded, coming to rest against the withered bunny ears of her costume. "Really? That is not very resourceful of me."
"Y-you'd think you would have gotten up and gone inside," agreed Alphys.
Soon afterward, Kris walked through town. "This part really is lovely," said Alphys.
"Is it not? I believe this is what they call an 'epilogue'. Oh, look!"
Alphys didn't need to be told; she already had her chair slid in all the way, and was leaning forward toward the screen. "It's Undyne!"
"I see she has found a suitable job on the surface, controlling traffic."
"Hm. I guess after her time as empress, the Annoying Dog didn't think she was responsible enough to run a town." They heard from the angry drivers. "O-o-or control traffic, I guess."
UNDYNE: …Alphys? Who's Alphys? No idea who you're talking about.
In real life, Alphys's lower jaw dropped. "Oh," said Toriel. "Oh my."
"kinda feels like some cutting edge social commentary," opined Sans.
UNDYNE: Gotcha, if I see 'Alphys' I'll tackle 'em. Fuhuhuhu! They're as good as dead!
"B-b-b-but," stammered Alphys.
Toriel's hand was on her shoulder. "It is an alternate version of her. Remember that the Dog has altered some aspects of reality in designing this game."
Alphys sat snubsnouted as Toriel continued navigating the town.
They spoke to the town pastor. "Hm," said Toriel. "Again, there is mention of an ANGEL."
"Wasn't that what we were supposed to… um, prevent? Banish? The ANGEL'S HEAVEN?"
"You are correct. That seems oddly like an anagram."
Alphys quickly fiddled, and her brow furrowed. "SENEGAL HAVEN?"
"That is clearly nonsense," said Toriel. "I wonder what danger the angel poses… especially if Father Alvin believes in its power."
"The Delta Rune," suggested Alphys. "It's got to be connected." Suddenly she gasped. "Tori! In the first game… we're the angel! We're the one who comes down from above and… empties the Underground!"
"So we are the one to be banished. Because we have killed."
"you sure?" asked Sans. "i thought it was the heaven that gets banished, not the angel."
Alphys looked thoughtful. "That's true! And that means… oh, I think I see. The angel comes from above… that is to say, the surface. And by sealing off the fountains, they banish all c-contact with…. the angel's heaven. The world of the Lightners."
"there you go," said Sans. "No more heaven, no more lightners making you into pawns in their games."
"Even th-those who really are pawns," joked Alphys.
"But if the purpose of the Dakners really is to bring Lightners pleasure, then that is profoundly sad," said Toriel.
She advanced through the dialogue. "This pastor is familiar. Was he… the one who drew the picture on the cabinet in the school?"
Alphys inhaled sharply. "You're right! It was a picture of a turtle."
"Drawn when he was a child." Toriel's eyes crossed. "Has… has no one opened that cabinet since Father Alvin was a student?"
"Well, maybe they j-just like the picture?" suggested Alphys. "But that's true… maybe the Darkners really have been neglected."
"There is a moral here," said Toriel.
"Um. Remember to tell your loved ones that you love them?" She squeezed the boss monster's girth with desperate affection.
"Remember to occasionally clean out your junk closets," amended Toriel. "But I would not disagree with yours."
Alphys discovered the note in the Librarby and squinted at the screen as she read aloud: "This reviewer had Mew Mew 2 as her first exposure to the series... and let me tell you, it makes Mew Mew 1 look like a dumpster with sparkly cat ears! With a darker storyline and more mature themes, the second one treats the viewer like a real adult. Instead of like an animal that will die if it goes ten seconds without seeing a beach ball."
"Now that is an unsettling thought," said Toriel.
"Is… is that s-supposed to be me?!" shouted Alphys. She read on: "Signed, The Anonymous Yellow Lizard." And swallowed. "That… that must be s-some other yellow lizard who reviews anime. That can't be me!"
"Hush, my darling. It will be all right. Let us continue."
But Alphys, now shaking, had found the Annoying Dog working in the back room of the Librarby. "Come out of there a-a-and have me say that again! There… unngh! There must be a way to fight the Dog! Some kind of easter egg!"
"I think the Dog will not come out of the room," said Toriel. "And as I am the Easter bunny, I would know about any eggs."
"Well, I'm part cat tonight, so I want to fight dogs!" replied Alphys. "If there isn't an easter egg to let me fight it, I'll just have to write one!" She grabbed her own swiveling desk table and pulled over her monitor. "What language d-do you suppose this game is programmed in? The first one w-was in LOLCODE, right?"
"Alphys, please! We are nearly done with the game. Can you not wait another ten minutes before you start to break it?"
Alphys simmered, but controlled herself. "Fine. Let's finish. I've got a dog fight to write. LOLCODE should be especially good for that!"
"wasn't there supposed to be a way to fight the annoying dog in the first game?" asked Sans.
"Behind a different door," said Toriel, raising two fingers to her lips. "That is right. But I do not believe it was ever made possible."
"guess the dog just likes trolling its audience."
"Sans!" cried Alphys. "Stop teaching Toriel that word!"
"It is too late, my dear one," said Toriel, putting a hand on Alphys's shoulder. "It is a part of my soul now."
"Noo!" cried Alphys. Toriel just smiled serenely.
ALPHYS ON THE SCREEN: I'm the cool teacher, you know. You're not in trouble.
Real Alphys was visibly agitated. "Do I... do I live in this alley?"
"The school is unlocked. One would think you could hold office hours there."
"Yeah! But… well, a least I-I'm the cool teacher. I guess that's something?"
Alphys continued through the dialogue with barely contained embarrassment. "Oh gosh. I like Asgore!"
"You have made that clear to me in the past, dear one."
"No, but I mean… the Alphys on the screen likes him even b-better than you! Or… or Undyne…"
"Those flowers from him are suspiciously well kept," agreed Toriel.
"And I don't seem very happy with my… well, I was going to say job, but I guess, life? B-based on how I… sneaked into the store and bought instant noodles with a suitcase and sunglasses and pajamas?"
"does seem like what someone with something to hide might do," remarked Sans.
"I wonder if Asgore is aware of your affections."
"N-now we have to get them together," Alphys murmured, her fervency increasing.
"I fear that may not be possible, at least not in this game."
"W-well… there's always hacking. And mods!"
Ten minutes later, the game still showed no sign of ending. "Just how long is this epilogue?!" complained Alphys.
"maybe the whole first part was really a prologue," suggested Sans. "maybe this is the main game."
"There's just so much character development and open-ended exploration!" Alphys yelled. They were now chatting with a Mr. Rudy Holiday in his hospital bed.
"I wonder," said Toriel. "Just how old is Kris?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well. They were in costume with their older brother for Halloween eight years ago, according to the picture on the computer. So I would expect them to be at least twelve."
"That seems about right," said Alphys.
"And yet, they apparently get tangled in holiday light displays… and beg the local pastor for fruit juice rather than actually attend service… and hide under the bed in order to scare vulnerable monsters! Surely that is not twelve-year-old behavior."
"W-well, I don't know," said Alphys. "I was doing dumber stuff than that at that age. Maybe that's just what comes from… b-being the only human in a town full of monsters?"
"That is a point," admitted Toriel. "I suppose Kris is having a hard time fitting in."
They then spoke to Noelle about Susie and chose to tell her about being slammed against the locker.
NOELLE: Kris... I'm SO sorry you have to go through this. In fact, I wonder if... d-do you think...? I wonder if Alphys would let us switch partners, I mean?
"Well, I am supposedly the 'cool' teacher," remarked Alphys.
NOELLE: You know, so you wouldn't have to be the one, who, um, gets to be, slammed into lockers, and stuff, anymore.
Toriel's eyes went wide. Sans's went blue.
NOELLE: Wait, I don't think I phrased that correctly.
"She… she's got a CRUSH on Susie!" squealed Alphys.
"Not so loud, dear one. It is the middle of the night."
"That… this explains the conversation she was having with her dad when we walked in! And… and it explains why she was asking after Susie in class…"
"guess some folks just aren't happy unless they've got trouble."
"It would seem that Noelle wishes to reform Susie," decided Toriel.
Alphys swiftly used her questionably ethical save state framework software to replay all the dialogue options. These made it abundantly clear—it was, indeed, a crush.
"…and make her a lunchbox full of chalk," added Sans. "seems classy."
"We have to make THIS happen," said Alphys, staring at the screen. "We have to get THEM together!"
But they finally ran out of places to go, and at last it seemed there was nothing more to do but go home. Toriel welcomed Kris, and soon the main character stood alone in their room, preparing for bed at last.
"Something is wrong," said Toriel in real life.
"Y-y-you're right!" stammered Alphys. "Something scary is going to happen!"
Sure enough, the child produced a knife and took several shambling steps into the center of the room.
The child slammed their hand into their chest and tore out their SOUL.
They threw the SOUL into a cage. Alphys, fumbling with the arrow keys, struggled to free it to no avail.
Kris then drew a knife, holding it ominously at the ready, and grinned a terrible grin.
The game ended.
"Oh," exclaimed Toriel.
Sans' eyes were dark.
A beautiful, haunting song played over the credits, a loving voice that declared it was with them in the dark. Then the screen returned them to the desktop, Muffet's grinning face staring at them from her anti-malware web.
"welp," said Sans.
"That was not expected," added Toriel.
"W-w-w-w-well," stammered Alphys, "I m-mean, it IS Halloween…"
"I suppose the Dog may have considered a fearsome ending mandatory."
"what do you suppose the knife was for?" asked Sans.
"Th-the knife? It was… f-for stabbing?"
"yeah. but for stabbing what? the soul in the cage?"
"Un… unless Kris was going to stab themselves."
"yeah. that's what I was wondering. either way, they wanted body and soul separate. so. which gets the point?"
"I… don't even want to think about it," said Alphys. "I guess it would make more sense to be killing the soul? Because I mean… a soul in pain can hurt a lot…"
Toriel slid behind her chair and quietly folded her arms over her consort. "It is possible it is a metaphorical act. Perhaps a dream."
"could be. maybe in the next game, kris is fine, apart from needing someone to… conSOUL them."
"But why include it e-even as a metaphor?" asked Alphys. "Things seemed to be going… um… p-pretty well? We'd made a new friend out of an enemy… a-and we got to have an amazing adventure, and… save a kingdom?"
"assuming it was all real," said Sans.
Alphys sat up in thought. "You think it might not have been real? The Dark World?"
"seems like a pretty convenient adventure. bring yourself and the scary kid together. she gets a best friend who's bad, like her. but he doesn't do it right. she gets to teach him, he admires her."
Toriel spoke. "And Kris also gets a new best friend…"
"…who happens to be exactly like their big brother they admire, who went off to college. only, again, younger."
They all sat and soaked that in. "O… Okay," said Alphys. "So you guys think maybe the whole Darkness Kingdom part of the game was a big… roleplaying fantasy?"
"coulda shacked up in the school supply closet to do it," suggested Sans. "pretty decent way to kill a few hours bringing back some chalk."
"It is a reasonable theory," Toriel allowed. "In that case, the game-related items in the supply closet served as inspiration for the inhabitants and enemies of the fictional world."
"Well, all right," Alphys went on. "I-I guess maybe the whole thing was… it was all a fantasy? But even so… things were l-looking up for Kris. They even got to go around town and talk to everyone!"
"well there you go," said Sans. "you've got it."
"Y-you mean you understand why Kris is about to stab their soul in the end?"
"sure. they talked to that guy in the p'E'zza costume. anyone'd want to stab their own soul out after that."
Toriel made a 'pff' sound with her lips. "Honestly."
"I… kind of d-doubt that's the whole reason. Are you saying that if we'd never talked to him, the whole… ending would be different?"
Sans shrugged. "just sayin'."
"I did find it odd that Asriel is stated to have cruised for companionship with that… odd pizza salesman," put in Toriel.
"And sung in the choir," added Alphys. "And hung out at the other place… QC's?"
"kid's got a whole made-up life," said Sans.
"So it would seem." Toriel seemed on the verge of tears. "That Dog… has really got quite the nerve. He knows that my son is trapped soulless somewhere in a flower's body."
"kind of like how ICE-E's trapped in a solid ice cube."
Toriel paused. "Are you sure about that, Sans? I had the impression he was the ice cube."
Sans shrugged, as if it made no difference.
Sans took his leave, along with another cup of cider and pretzels, and the two queens went to bed, haunted by the unexpected game. But in the middle of the night, Alphys woke up with a start. "BERDLY!" she cried.
There was silence. Then the covers rumpled audibly for several seconds. Toriel's head emerged as she sat up, picking a fold of blanket from where it was caught on her horn. "Alphys?"
"S-sorry to wake you, Tori. It's just… I only just realized. He's a bully! He's a nerd bully!"
Toriel's eyes swam. "Did you have an unpleasant dream?"
"No, Tori. The game! Remember? The stuck-up bird guy in school, and in the library?"
Toriel yawned. "Yes, I recall him. You think… that he was a bully?"
"He totally is. I-I mean, he doesn't use physical violence, but… that's just because it's not his weapon! He uses words instead! Words, and… and shame."
"I do recall something about a library book being overdue… and a jab about not contributing to society…"
"And he implies we're no good at school… and s-scolds us for being late… he's totally a bully."
"I do take your point, Alphys. He is hardly a model of sociable behavior. Yet… why did this wake you in the middle of the night?"
"Because," said Alphys, the tip of her tail rocking a peak in the bedsheets back and forth. "He's a bully, but he's also a nerd. And nerds aren't usually bullies! Nerds are usually the ones who GET bullied! And I should… I should know!"
"I am sorry, Alphys. I do see your point. He is an unusual combination."
"But that's the point of what the Annoying Dog is saying with him. He's saying that… that anyone can be a bully, even a nerd! A-and anyone can be a nerd… even a bully. You just… you just can't assume!"
"I suppose that a fair bit of trouble has stemmed from assumptions about Susie's character," replied Toriel. "If she were not assumed to be violent and dangerous because of her appearance, she would not have the troubles she does."
"B-but because she was assumed to be that way, she is!" cried Alphys. "She really is violent and dangerous! And when people heard about her reputation, that just made them assume more… which made people stay away from her more… and that made her even more antisocial!"
"It is a dangerous spiral," Toriel acknowledged sleepily. "But do you think you have discovered the message of the game?"
Alphys took a breath in the cool, still bedroom, sequestered in the palace basement. "I-I think I might have. Because…if you were going to combine the word 'nerd' and the word 'bully', what would you get?"
Toriel's eyes crossed briefly before she shook her head. "Berdly, I suppose."
"Exactly! And of course, since that sounded like the word 'bird', the Dog made him a bird. But that combination was where he started!"
"Do you really think this is important to the game's overall theme, though, doctor?"
"Well… yes. Because it's all about Susie, and what people's assumptions have done to her. She's a bully, and so is Berdly, even though in most other ways, they're pretty different. And what do they have in common?"
"They are both students in the same classroom," said Toriel.
"Noelle likes them both!" exclaimed Alphys, her tail throwing the sheets and blankets free with its waggling. "And that means she's the key… she's going to be totally important in the sequel!"
"Or… perhaps she simply has a liking for… how should I put it? 'Bad' boys and girls?"
Alphys swallowed. "Well, I mean. Yeah. She's afraid of so many things… I guess being afraid of her boyfriend, or girlfriend, must be a th-thrill for her. So she's drawn to them… just like Kris is drawn to the dark."
"The dark notion of murdering their own soul?" asked Toriel.
"And the Dark World itself! They recast their own favorite person in the world—Asriel—as a Darkling! Kris is a-attracted to the dark, and it helps them come to terms with their… with their problems. A-and Noelle is drawn to dark people…"
"And who knows what trouble it will get her into," replied Toriel.
Alphys sat up and leapt out of bed. "Exactly! I th-think we worked it out! I'm going to go find the Annoying Dog and let it know."
"In the middle of the night, Doctor Alphys?!"
She stared at her wife. "Well, the Dog r-r-released a spooky game on Halloween… it didn't wait for a less scary time! So if it gets people kn-knocking on its door in the middle of the night… it only has itself to blame."
"It is not terribly polite."
Alphys grinned. "I know. I'm going to bring it the rest of the cider and marshmallows. But I've got a few bones to pick about the way it, um, portrayed us."
Toriel sighed. "You do remember that the Annoying Dog does not talk?"
"Oh, I know. It just communicates through video game software and interactive novels." She wiggled her fingers confidently. "But I'm no slouch at that myself!"
Toriel stared at her diminutive consort. "Very well, Alphys. Good luck extracting meaning from that strange creature. For my part, I am going to return to darkness."
She lay her head down, and Alphys got out of bed and dressed quietly and quickly. She wondered what Toriel had been dreaming about.
But really, she wasn't the only one. All of them were passing through darkness every day they remained in the Underground. Day and night, in a way it was all darkness. But if there was one thing about Deltarune that had stayed with Alphys, it was that darkness could be as rich a place to pass through as anything.
A/N: Deltarune was an amazing surprise - an extension of a world whose story I thought was done being told! It was a real thrill to see the mysterious SURVEY_PROGRAM last Halloween with its Undertale-like logo. To play it seemed to involve a real risk—it might well have been a carrier for some diabolical virus. The game was familiar yet oddly unfamiliar—a perfect Halloween treat. I didn't even know for sure it had really come from Toby Fox at first—could it have been another fan spinoff? It wasn't long, though, before I got a sense of authenticity in the writing and started asking myself (and my friends on Telegram): Is this the real deal? It is, isn't it?
It was. It felt almost necessary for me to extend my own Undertale novel somehow as a homage to this new chapter. So I wrote the first scene of this bonus chapter, along with some notes… and the idea languished. I resolved to have the bonus chapter posted by Thanksgiving… and then by New Year's… but other projects and laziness were more appealing. Over the course of 2019, I kept remembering this project, but somehow the idea felt incomplete, as if a series of let's-play-like scenes just wasn't enough to hang together on its own.
So I let it slide month after month… but today is the one-year anniversary of Deltarune, so I decided it could slide no longer. The chapter may not be in its ideal form, and it isn't as revised as it could be, but I really wanted to get the thing out in time for Halloween. So, I hope you enjoyed it—please comment! I still have a couple more Undertale projects I may finish and post eventually. It would be sad if I never posted either of them, anyway! Also, note that since A&Q ended, I've written another full-length fan novel, this one about the 2005 Japanese animation One Stormy Night. It's called Beyond the Storm and you can find it on this site as well.
~ HAVE A HAPPY YET SOMEHOW UNEASY HALLOWEEN! ~
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