I came to the conclusion of canceling this fic.
Originally, I wrote this story as a class grade. Than I actually enjoyed the book enough to create my own spin to the story. I wanted to add dept to Jack's character by giving him a background story which lead me to give Jack a sister. If anyone cared to figure out, that sister would be Lily. She was intended to be Jack's moral compass so to speak. I planned the main story to be a sort of reconciliation between the siblings. I even already wrote out several flashbacks to scatter within the story for the two to have memories of.
Also, I have read stories where those that went through trials together would make them stronger. That through grief and hardship, they can ban together to create something better and move forward towards a common goal. From what I remember from reading the original book around two years ago, it was about savagery versus civilization. I wanted to add more to that by adding a family sort of element. There plenty of 'romances' when browsing through the list, so why not family love? It's less cliche and there's always some sort of connection through those that came from the same blood relation. In fact, I wanted to add a friendship element as well.
Anyways, that was meant to be my plan, however I had lost all my motivation to create such a story. Another reason is the fact that I have moved on the other interests. I apologize if anyone had any form of interest for this story, but I don't think I will continue it. However, I will post everything that I had written already even though it is not much. This includes the few paragraphs I have down for chapter 4 and the flashback memories of Jack and Lily's childhood. Enjoy!
Capter 4 - Rough Draft
Finding out that someone isn't coming back, brought a new sort of feeling. Something like a crushing reality you found out that can't be undone.
It was a cruel and unrelenting knowledge.
It brought the question everyone was thinking to the forefront of their brains, "Are we going to die too?" The question had gripped firmly above the children's heads. Always there, taunting.
You're going to die alone and nobody outside the island is going to know.
Death would think it's a funny thing for people to think about. Wouldn't it?
Time past like spilt molasses slowly dripping off the counter soon after. The hunters and gatherers did their jobs.
Jack and Lily's Memories
"It's a bear."
"What's a bear? Is it suppose to look like Mr. Percival? 'Cause that doesn't look like a bear, it's too big and scary." Lily took a cautious step back eyeing the towering furry creature.
Jack gestured dramatically at the 'bear'.
"That's what a real bear look like."
"But daddy say Mr. Percival was a bear and he's small and cute."
"Well this is a stuffed bear."
"Mr. Percival is a stuffed bear too."
"I mean ya' Mr. Percival is a stuffed bear, but this one was alive before."
"It was alive?" Lily snapped her evergreen eyes at Jack before they flickered back to the supposedly used to be alive bear.
Looking thoughtful, Jack squinted, "Now that you mentioned it, I think Father got it from one of his hunting trip a couple of months ago."
"Do you think it still alive now?"
Jack started chuckling.
"Nope it's dead."
Still not looking convinced, Lily whispered, "What if it's pretending?"
"Well it's not." He firmly stated confidently.
"What if it is though? How do you know it's not just waiting till no one is looking before gettin ya'?" Lily took another subtle step back aiming to put more distance between herself and the steadily frightening, mountainous figure.
"One, cause I know, and two, cause I'm older than you."
"By only one year."
Jack gave her a pointed look. "I'll prove it to you. That the bear right there is not real."
He frowned and scrunched up his nose, while Lily still kept her eyes on the 'bear'. Suddenly, she almost jumped a foot in the air when a voice cut through the moment of silence with an "AHAA!"
"I'll hit it to prove it to you! If it moves than it's not real." He had a smug look of his face while looking right proud of himself.
"Go on than."
"What?" Jack's topaz blue eyes had widen in astonishment.
"You said you'll hit it. You do it. Or are you scared too." Lily's eyes flickered to Jack with a the feeling of doubt creeping up through her throat.
"Of course I'm not scared!"
His eyes flashed with determination and with a deep breathe, he struck towards the 'bear'. As Jack got nearer, he started to take slow measured steps until it turned into a snail's pace. The looming brown mass jaws looked wider than it was at a distance, looking as if it was preparing to give a mighty thunderous roar. It's multiple teeth that lay within were pointed like knives that could crush bones. The claws were the length of daggers that looked sharp enough to cut through cheese as a person mesley ripping a piece of paper.
The pale, yellow light across the room that filtered through the curtained window dimmed as it hid behind the 'stuffed bear' causing its shadow to grow over the two children. The shadow kept extending and extending till it had nearly took every spot on the wooden floor where the light had use to touch. The darkness had finally conquered the room.
Lily bit the bottom of her lips to prevent calling her older brother back. Clenching his down and losing patience with his fear, Jack drew his leg back and swung it forward with wild abandon.
The 'bear' suddenly groaned and swayed backwards then forwards. In what seems like anger, the looming animal leaned forward over the children.
In a fit of build up tension, Lily lunged at her brother to pull him out. Both the red headed children sprinted away as a boom cracked and echoed throughout the hall.
"Come on! It'll would be fun! I'll even show you how to do it."
Fiddling with a piece of her ginger hair, she shifted between her short, chubby legs. She desperately didn't want to do it.
"But I can't!"
"Yes, you can."
"No. I can't you prat."
"Yes, and I'm no prat. You're just being ridiculous."
"No! I'm terrible at this kind of thing."
He rolled his eye. "You just jump in and go."
"It's both the jumping and going part I'm not doing."
He kept insisting. "You could do it yourself if you put your mind into it. Remember what mum and dad say, 'chin up and take it in strides' Basically, confidence is key."
"Lils. Chin up and take it in strides."
"Jay–" Lily mauled over the phrase. "I . . . fine, but you have to carry me first and not just let me drown." She stated with a pout.
"Fine. But you ARE going to learn to swim if it's the last thing I do." Jack quickly took Lily's much smaller hand and dragged her to the beckoning vast, blue ocean.
"Come back here you little munchkin!"
Lily giggled as her hair flicker like flames and her legs flying around the corner. Her lungs felt constricted, but her heart swelled with exhilaration. Sweat glistening against her skin as they rolled off her in droplets.
At another turn, Lily took a chance to look behind her.
He's not there.
Blinking she halted to a stop, nearly tripping over her own exhausted feet. With ragged breath, Lily surveyed her surroundings.
Suddenly, Lily gave a surprised shriek as she felt arms around her middle lifting her up.
"Gotcha! I win!"
"That's not fair! You cheated!"
"Oh. And what did I do that warrants cheating?"
"You snuck up on me." Lily refuted while kicking her legs.
"Well, I say, I win. You have to do what it takes if you want to win in this day and age. The strongest on top."
"It's still not fair and it's rubbish." Lily whined below her breath.
"No worries little sister. They's always a next time."
Huffing, "Could you at least put me down Jack?"
"Nope. I win, so I'm take my prize."
With a deadpanned voice, Lily replied, "And why, may I ask, does not putting me down have anything to with your 'prize'?"
Jack shifted Lily across his shoulders and glanced at her with eyes filled with mirth, "You get to praise me in all my glory, lil' Lils."
Lily gave a helpless sigh.
A blinding flash of white washed against her pale blue walls. The window clanked and clanked. The black shadows seemed to creep nearer and near after every new flash. This was what made fear consumed her. Fear was what she felt. It was suffocating. Her heart constricted tighter as she buried her shaking hands into her ears. Whimpers escaped through her trembling lips.
All she could've done was to attempt to ignore it, but it was all futile. Her eyes felt hot with tears as they streamed down, down off her cheek and on her pillow rendering it wet. The pillow then turned cold. The noise wouldn't stop.
It was too loud.
Much too loud.
The young girl had felt something tugging against her comforter, but Lily absolutely made no move to see what it was. Her despair had her shutted down all of her functions. She had than begun to bright sparks through her lids. It got harder, and harder to get air to her lungs.
"Hey, Lils!" The voice sounded more desperate.
Lily forced her lungs to work and her eyes fluttered to see colors flashing before her. She peeked out from under her comforter. Two worried topaz blue eyes stared at her.
"Are you alright?"
Lily shook her head as her vision started to blur. Her arms had a tremor that wouldn't stop. Her fingers turned white with her grip that had gotten tighter and tighter to her crinkling sheets.
"Come on." Gentle had hands slowly coaxed her strained fingers loose and pulled her out from what was her safety.
She bounded–basically tackled–at her brother like a lifeline, as a cat would out of water.
"You can stay in my room for the night." He whispered softly while he fingered through her locks of hair. It was calming. Lily had also felt warm arms surrounded her like shields protecting her from the dreadful noise. She shutted her eyes tightly and buried even deeper into her sanctuary.
Her big brother will protect her.