94Here we are, the final chapter! Wanted to end off with some much needed Rucas fluff.
The Art of Letting Go
Chapter Sixteen
Riley wasn't able to visit Lucas for the next two days while he was suspended. Lucas's parents hadn't heard the whole story and just assumed that Lucas was turning back into his old self and getting involved with the wrong crowd. He wasn't allowed to leave the house while on his suspension, nor have visitors.
On Friday, Lucas's parents allowed Riley to come over. They knew that if they didn't, Lucas would probably find a way to sneak out of the house to see her anyway. She rushed over to the Friars' as soon as she got out of school. She brought him all the school work he'd missed and brought him some tacos from Paco's Tacos, their favorite local taco shop.
"I talked to your parents," Riley said as she walked into Lucas's room. Lucas was sitting on a bean bag chair in front of his TV watching his favorite show.
"Hello to you too, Riles," Lucas greeted with a smile, pointing the remote to the TV to turn it off. He'd much rather spend time with Riley with no distractions.
"I brought tacos," Riley beamed, holding up the paper bag filled with several tacos.
"Thank you," Lucas said as Riley kissed her cheek.
Riley placed Lucas's homework on his desk and put the bag of tacos on his lap. She sat on the matching bean bag chair beside his.
"What'd you talk to my parents about?" Lucas inquired, opening the bag.
"I told them everything," Riley admitted. "I know they think you're turning into Texas Lucas again, but I thought that if I told them that it was because of me, they'd be more understanding. I'm surprised they let me come over today."
"Why did you tell them?" Lucas asked, evidently annoyed.
"Because you told mine," Riley shrugged. "It's only fair."
"Fair enough," Lucas titled his head. "And of course my parents let you come over. They know nothing would keep me away from you."
"You're welcome," Riley said, "they're not as mad at you anymore. They get that you were trying to protect me and that you getting involved in the fight was purely self-defense."
"Thank you," Lucas offered a smile. "They weren't too happy when I told them about the fight and my suspension. They were so mad that they didn't let me explain myself."
"I got you," Riley replied, squeezing his hand. "Always."
The two ate their tacos and shared some laughs. Riley caught Lucas up on what he had missed at school regarding their friend group. Lucas didn't miss much. Maya focused in art and Spanish class than any of her other classes, Zay was his same comedic self (though Lucas wasn't there to laugh at his jokes), and Farkle and Smackle stayed intellectually superior, as always.
"Auggie wanted me to thank you, by the way," Riley brought up.
"And why is that?" Lucas asked before taking another bite of his second taco.
"He overheard my parents and I talking about your situation," Riley explained. "So I told him what happened, leaving out necessary details, of course. He wanted to thank you for protecting me."
"How sweet," Lucas gushed. "Love that little dude."
"And he loves you too," Riley said.
They sat in silence for a bit, finishing their tacos. After washing it down with water that Lucas's mom had brought them, Riley bit her lip and looked very anxious about something. It didn't take too long for Lucas to notice his girlfriend's behavior.
"Hey, um, so," Riley said. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something."
"What is it?" Lucas urged.
"We promised to tell each other everything and be completely honest, right?" Riley asked.
"Of course," Lucas nodded, "I wouldn't want anything less."
"Alright," Riley said, "because I need to tell you about some feelings I've had. Now, this isn't bad. But you know about my insecurities, yes?"
"Yes, I do," Lucas confirmed. "I understand that you have insecurities but I don't get why. You're the most beautiful and sweetest girl I've ever met. You have nothing to be insecure about."
"That's thing," Riley said. "I have a whole lot of insecurities and I don't think I've told you most of them."
Lucas gazed into her eyes in interest, which prompted Riley to continue.
"I never thought I deserved you," Riley admitted. "I always thought you'd end up with Maya. Everyone seemed to want you two to end up together. I was jealous of that, being everyone's idea of the perfect couple. I used to compare myself to her for countless hours on end. I even thought about dying my hair blonde because you always considered her to be the blonde beauty.
"I tried to change my attitude to match hers. But it wasn't me. So I came to a conclusion that I was never the one that you wanted. And even that day at the ski lodge, when you had your moment, it took me by surprise, it really did, Lucas. But I was convinced that it was always me, like you said. The early stages of our relationship was magical. Then somewhere along the way, I heard our classmates spreading rumors that you only chose me because if you didn't, our whole friend group would fall apart and that Maya would take the rejection easier.
"Hearing that really hurt me. I cried about it for days. But then I flashbacked to all the times we spent together, all the conversations we've had, and it reminded me that I was never your choice, because there was never a choice to make. You always knew it was me. As our relationship went on, I learned to be more secure and not let people's opinions bother me. I was at my prime then, taking notes from our friends on how not to care so much about what other people think.
"Then we skip over to a couple of weeks ago. When Missy started texting me, it didn't bother me at first. But the more she kept insulting me, the more it got to me. And that's when a lot of my insecurities started to resurface. They were all coming at me at once, and I couldn't push them to the back of my mind. But I learned again, that people's opinions don't matter as long as I'm happy.
"Sometimes I wished I was more like you, you never once had a doubt in your mind about what you wanted and what made you happy. You never cared what others said about it, because you knew that it wasn't going to change your judgement. And I guess my insecurities stem from the fact that my parents are Cory and Topanga, the most perfect couple of their time. I guess I'm scared that I'm never going to live up to them in terms of their relationship. And now that I think about it, I know I won't. Because we're not Cory and Topanga, we're Riley and Lucas."
Lucas looked at her in awe. He knew about her insecurities but he never knew how deep they were. He didn't know what to say so he just pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back to comfort her. He never wanted her to feel like she wasn't wanted by him. He always made sure that his actions reflected his words, that it was always her and it would always be her.
"I'm letting go of those insecurities, now," Riley said, pulling away from the calming hug. "I don't want them getting in the way of my happiness and our relationship."
"Riley," Lucas breathed, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I'm not perfect either. I have my own insecurities in our relationship, believe it or not. I've only ever told Zay this, but I was always jealous of Charlie Gardner. For a while I thought you really liked him. He seemed really into you, Riley, and I didn't know if I was able to compete with him after the whole seventh grade semi-formal mishap.
"I never wanted to tell you when I'm jealous of someone, because I'm afraid that you're going to think that I'm going to turn into Texas Lucas. Like the first time we went to the ski lodge and you met Evan and you two talked all night. I was so angry, Riley. I had to let my anger out somehow so I went to go kick a tree. Every time I'm mad I feel like you're going to dump me because of my anger issues. But you've always been so supportive of me. You're always there for me. It's very rare to have someone like that at our age."
"I never knew you felt that way," Riley said, swaying their hands. "Sure, I hate it when you get angry. But I know you're trying to be better. You wouldn't let me help you if you didn't want to get better. You're such a nice guy and I'm so lucky to have you."
Riley gave him a quick peck on the lips. Lucas frowned at how short it lasted. Riley smiled softly.
"I'm really sorry, Lucas, for ever doubting you. For ever doubting us," Riley whispered, looking down at her hands.
"Don't you ever be sorry, Riley," Lucas said, lifting her chin to look into her eyes. "Now we should plan that two-year anniversary date we missed."
"I'd love that," Riley grinned.
Lucas cupped her face and pulled her into a deeper kiss than the previous one.
Thank you all for reading! You guys kept me motivated. Can't believe I wrote all of this in a month, I've never been so invested in a story I've written in a very long time. I'm glad you guys enjoyed this and I hope you continue to support me with my future work.
My new Rucas fic, Folie à Deux is up now if you guys wanna check that out!