Alley Cats: Tails of Lucy & Raph

Setting: 2k3 Turtles

Rating: PG-13 (for language)

Summary: Short drabbles of Raph experiencing all the perks and pains of cat ownership.
Note: A follow up to my one-shot piece Alley Cats.


Ears laid back and fangs bared, Lucy crouched close to the floor. Her white fur was puffed out which made her look about two sizes bigger than she actually was. Across the kitchen was the source of her distress: Klunk.

The orange cat displayed equal aggression, snarling at the new pet who had dared to intrude on his turf. Inch by inch, he crept closer to his adversary. Lucy fearlessly stood her ground and switched from a hiss to a growl to warn him to stay away. Pausing, Klunk swished his tail as he considered his options for a brief moment then charged forward.

Lucy met him halfway and they crashed together to form one big, hairy ball of fury. Claws slashing and teeth biting, they rolled around the floor, each beast trying to gain the upper hand. Chair and table legs were bumped and moved, but still they fought on. At last, Klunk pinned Lucy on her back and he snipped at her neck while she kicked at his belly with her hind paws.


Startled by the sudden shout, the two cats froze instantly as Raphael hurried towards them.

"Klunk!" the sai-wielder scolded, shooing the male away with a wave of his hand. "Leave her alone, ya little jerk!"

Klunk issued a final hiss and darted under the table. Stooping, Raph picked Lucy up and cradled her to his chest as he carefully inspected her for any injuries.

"Ya okay there, pretty girl?" he cooed, smoothing down her fur. "It's okay. Yer safe now." Lucy began to purr, rubbing her cheek against his plastron, and he smiled. Turning, he continued to soothe her while he carried her out of the room. "I ain't gonna let that big bully hurt ya…no ma'am…"


"In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight..."

Raph rolled his eyes at the television monolith. How Leo had managed to con him into watching this cheesy 90s romance movie together was beyond him. He turned his gaze left to where Leo was seated beside him on the couch and shook his head in disbelief. The fearless leader was completely enraptured by the happenings on screen, his brown eyes twinkling merrily and a soft smile on his face.

"How can ya be so fascinated by this stuff?" Raph wondered, gesturing at the collection of screens. "Ya know these kind of things don't happen in real life, right?"

Leo didn't even spare his brother a glance. "They can, too."

"Yeah right," Raph snorted. "Never knew ya was this big of a sap."

"He says while his adopted cat is purring in his lap…" the leader retorted.

Raph looked down at Lucy who was indeed curled up on top of his thighs and napping. Lifting his right hand from the couch cushion, he scratched behind her ears before he began to pet her. Lucy purred louder.

"That ain't sappy," Raph protested.


"It's not!"

"Whatever," Leo said, grabbing the remote and thumbing the volume button. "Now shush and watch the movie."

Raph scowled, but complied while absentmindedly petting Lucy. Several minutes passed before he felt compelled to roll his eyes again. No sooner had he done so than Lucy jerked her head up and stared intently over the edge of the couch into the shadows where the light from the televisions didn't reach.

"What's wrong, Luc?" Raph asked, his hand stilling on her back. "Huh?"

Lucy gave a short meow and tilted her head like she was trying to hear better. Without warning, she shot out of her owner's lap and leapt over the couch's armrest to disappear into the darkness.

"Ah!" the sai-wielder cried out as the cat's claws marred his flesh. "Dammit, Lucy!"

"Are you okay?" Leo questioned, finally tearing his attention away from the TV.

"No, I'm not okay!" Raph snapped and pointed at his left thigh which had several long scratch marks that were oozing blood. "Look at this!"

Holding back a sigh, Leo paused the movie and rose from the couch, motioning for his brother to do the same. "Come on, let's get you patched up." Raph was grumbling curses under his breath as he got to his feet and followed the leader. "What was she after anyway?"

"Hell if I know," Raph muttered, pressing a hand over his stinging skin. "Cats are weird."


A long, hot shower was probably Raph's biggest guilty pleasure. He loved the rain of water falling over him, washing the grim from his skin and easing the ache in muscles. Fifteen, twenty, thirty or more minutes could pass before he'd towel off. Not today though. Today he was being rushed by a creature less than a quarter of his size.


The cat's cry was followed by frantic scratching at the bathroom door. Raph tried to ignore it by working up a lather on the sponge he held in his hands. When the amount of soapy suds was adequate, he started scrubbing at his shoulders.


Growling in annoyance, Raph poked his head out of the shower to glare at the door. He saw a white paw appear beneath the door, searching for something to sink its claws into. Finding nothing, the paw retreated and the scratching resumed.

"Cut it out, Luc!" Raph hollered. "Yer gonna get me in trouble for scratching up the door!"

The noise outside stopped. Satisfied, Raph retreated beneath the stream and continued his cleansing ritual. He was halfway through polishing his plastron when the door rattled again as tiny paws tried to push it open.

Meow! Meooooooooow!

Throwing the sponge to the floor, Raph quickly rinsed the suds from his body and turned off the taps. He yanked the shower curtain aside and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. Water dripped off his skin as he marched across the bathroom. With a forceful twist of the handle, he opened up the door.

"What do ya want, ya furball?" he asked, frowning down at his pet.

Lucy had a look of innocence about her as she stared up at the wet turtle. Rising from her haunches, she padded into the bathroom and briefly surveyed the surroundings. That done, she strolled over to Raph, curled herself around his ankle, meowed, and ran back out the door.

Raph felt his right eye twitch. Leaving the door wide open, he retraced his steps to the shower and shed his towel. The hot water tap creaked and groaned as he opened it full blast. Retrieving his sponge, he began scrubbing at his shoulders again while muttering to himself.

"Bratty little cat…"