It came out of blue to everyone. That news no one was expecting to hear. It all happened so fast, one minute Kurt and Allie were fighting in front of team and in the second Kurt said 'You're not going anywhere, Allie. You're pregnant'.The shock on their faces was understandable. Jane stuck in breath and the seconds later she felt Kurt's intensive look on her. The hurt in both their faces told it all, they were both in pain.
All day no one said anything about that gigantic elephant in the room, they did their usual business. Caught a bad guys and made world better. Hours later, Kurt and Jane found themselves alone in the locker room. The air between them was heavy, they both felt the tension. But yet they said nothing. When Jane was about to leave and she was saying her goodbyes to Kurt, he approached her. Sadness was written all over his face.
"I'm sorry you found out that way, but I told no one before today. I just needed time to process this I guess."
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Kurt. I'm happy for you." She was trying to smile but it was the sad smile, it never reached her pretty eyes.
"Do.. don't say that! " Kurt said angrily. "Wha…?" She didn't have a chance to finish.
"I'm not happy about it, I still haven't processed it yet. I can't be a dad, not right now. I think not ever. What I have to offer to him, besides sorrow and guilt. And on the top of that a grandfather who was a killer. I can't do this Jane. I can't." his voice cracked and Jane has tears in her eyes and her throat hurts.
Kurt sat heavily on the near bench, face hidden in his hands. Jane wasn't able to move all she wants to do was to curled up in a ball and cry, because it was all her fault. She sat near Kurt and said "I know it is all my fault you feel that way and I've never been able to make it up for you, but I told you once and I tell you this again. You'll be a great dad, I know you will. You are a good person Kurt. This kid is so lucky to have you as a dad." Kurt was looking at her now, his eyes full of tears.
"It's not your fault that my dad killed her, and neither how I feel. We both made a lot of mistakes. We promised each other to be truthful, right?" Jane nodded. "I want to be truthful with you, because I can't keep it to myself anymore, and I can't stop thinking about it since Allie told me I'll be dad." Jane couldn't breath she was shaking even a little bit, anxious to hear what he is going to say in a second.
"I wanted it all with you, you know. As much as I never saw myself to have it all, with you, I could see that." Soft sob escaped Jane's mouth, and tears fell out of her eyes. "And I'm not saying it because I wanted you to be Taylor or because I fell in love with you because I thought you were her, no. It has everything to do with who you are, how you can get through my walls without even trying. How I always feel better when I'm with you, and how I don't want to feel it after everything that has happened to us and what we did." After a deep breath he continues "I told you that I don't know who you are anymore, but I'm starting to see who you were when we first met and you are still the same. Fearless, kind and always there to help other people, and most importantly you make me feel better, with you, I can breath. I know it's horrible thing to say because I'm having a kid with someone else, but it is the truth and I don't want more lies between us ever again. That's why I'm telling you this." He was looking at her now, Jane was crying and her whole body was shaking violently.
Kurt lent toward her and hugged her, smoothing her back. Whispering comforting words to her ear. She clung to him so hard, he almost felt suffocated.
After a while when Jane finally stopped shaking and crying, she pushed herself off him and look into his eyes, her own puffy and red. "I… I still love you too. And I know it won't change a thing…" "For now" he added surely with a little smile. Jane eyes widened, and she smiled too.
"But I want to believe we can slowly go back to be friends first and maybe some day we can be more." she said shyly, smiling through the tears that once again were in her eyes. "That sounds like a plan." Kurt said and hugged her again.
Now when truth was out, everything looks so much better and more clear. They still have a lot of things to talk about, but having a hope is a powerful thing. And they have that - a hope - that will make them stronger than ever.