I've had a bunch of trouble with my net connections...but now! It's now Chapter 5. More things to add, and more wackiness and fourth wall breaking galore.

Once again, I do not own anything related to the subject of Haruhi Suzumiya, please support the official releases, and happy reading!

Chapter 5

After the scene the Nagatos and I pulled off a few days ago, things started to get a bit more calmed down, well calm if you ignore the fact that I totally forgot my top in Nagato's possession. I had to sneak out of my house from my window of all things to prevent my family from hearing me get out. Thanks to that I didn't have a pleasant sleep that night, but when do I do anyways?

So, skipping a few days forward because you guys probably want to know the more interesting and important plot to this like the binge-readers you are, let's take a look at something that actually happened to me this time for once.

Today was a Wednesday, the usual business: getting ready, that hill of death that I wish someone would manipulate to a flat ground with some sort of quirk or technique- oh and excuse me for the indirect reference there; as well as the other usual stuff. But going to the clubroom, I didn't expect something like this to happen there.

Opening the club room's door after being the sign to come in, I once again look at the sight of the room's occupants.

I take off my bag to place it on the table whilst Ms. Asahina places a cup of tea near me when I sit. I noticed that Haruhi wasn't here, so I guess now was a good time to discuss about things.

"So, Koizumi, Nagato, anything happen so far?"

"So far, based on my reports from my colleagues keeping watch over Suzumiya-san, fortunately nothing major has happened as of yet."

"What about you Nagato?"

"The results are the same. The surveillance devices inside Haruhi Suzumiya's household have not captured any footage of abnormality. We are safe for now."

Good, good. At least Haruhi's not aware of the situation for now. Though I'm still worried that something might happen and that it'll directly involve Haruhi. Knowing her, the things she saw may remind her of those darn blue giants, and I can name a few fictional characters that can fit those descriptions perfectly. Hopefully nothing else happens tod-

"*SLAM!* Hey everyone! I've just thought of a great idea! We're gonna make magic spells!"

...Magic spells. Of all things, why those?

"Oh come on! Kyon, magic is the base of all life! You can't deny that can you? Can you explain why we humans evolved so much, why we developed superior minds?!"

Holy crap!

I was scared for a second that she might of subconsciously developed telepathic powers, hopefully that isn't the case.

"So, how are we going to make this so called magic then?", I asked.

"It's simple!"

She takes out a bunch of books out of her bag. I picked up one of them. It was red and it had some weird symbols on the top cover, with a pattern consisting of 5 circles with an hourglass in the middle.

...This isn't what I think it is right?

I looked over to Nagato and Koizumi while holding up the red book to see if they knew what it was, and Koizumi actually flinched a little, wow.

"These books mysteriously appeared in the library according to what some of the teachers said. Even the people inside the library never knew where they came from, so it must be some sort of magic that made them teleport inside the building, I'm sure of it!"

Well technically that is true, but I'm pretty sure the owner of that book is probably in a state of panic in fear of their book being damaged. They probably lost it while riding a seagull or something, wait what am I saying, the person probably doesn't even know the significance of the book because their memory of it got erased…

So yeah, that thought occurred.

ANYWAYS...after that little scene Haruhi decided to have us make talismans for the sake of seeing whether or not magic was real. They were inevitably going to be real, so every time we made one, Koizumi had to nullify the talisman's properties to make sure the spell didn't activate and cause havoc.

"Geh, none of these work… Ugh, fine then, everyone! I'm announcing an early dismissal for today!", she exclaims.

"I guess you're getting frustrated because you don't get how magic works?"

"Shut it Kyon, I've no time for your snarky comments! I probably have to experiment in different environments to get some results, so I'm leaving now!"

And just like that she left, stomping loudly as she did so.

"Well, what now guys?", I asked as I turned over to the other 3.

"We should probably tail her. Since I had to cancel out the effects of the talismans every single time, I suspect that Suzumiya-san has gotten frustrated, because I'm now beginning to sense a few issues of Closed Space popping up.", Koizumi responds.

"Alright then. Though do we have any disguises of any sort so that Haruhi doesn't know it's us?"

"I have a solution for that."

I turn over to Nagato and ask her what she meant. She then explained the method we were going to use, and I probably knew what it was.

"Are you going to transform us again?"


"Hmm, what do you mean by that Nagato-san?", Ms. Asahina asks.

She walks over to the two of them and puts her arms on their shoulders. Quietly chanting for a bit, she then steps back and makes the hand sign again. Well, enjoy your new looks you two.


"Wait wha-"

Both of their bodies are surrounded by puffing smoke. I wonder what kind of look she gave them?


"Hm? What's up Nagato?"

"I assume you will require a change of appearance as well?"

Actually, I don't want to go through that again thank you very much.

"Ah, I think I'm ok actually, I can just...what's with that look Nagato? You...you're making me a bit nervous, oh God please no! Please, anything but that again!"

Nagato made a face that was exactly like Haruhi's million-watt smile, and that usually meant she had some sort of devious plan for us. But since Nagato of all people was making that expression, that fear of mine was amplified.

She rushes towards me and grabs one of my hands, her mouth reaching over to bite it, more nanomachines I assumed.

My reactionary instincts didn't kick in, and I failed to get away as she begins to nibble in my hand whilst chanting. Oh toying with me again eh, well not this time!

I pulled my hand away from her grasp, but ended up falling back a little bit. Unfortunately I also tripped on my foot and fell, the back of my head hitting the wall. Pain is not one of the things I'm used to.

"Geh...well that was all my fault. Though shouldn't I be feeling a bit more pain though?"

"The previous data that I provided at the time seems to have lingered in your body, adapting now to be like a mold or shield spend around your body."

Oh. Well that explains a lot.

"Nevertheless, I will confine you to proceed with the procedure…"

"Wait wait you don't have to do tha-"

"Nom.", was all I heard, but…


As she made that little noise, I swear I heard a high pitched sound effect. It oddly reminded me of someone with a knack for misfortune…

Wait...oh no. Why this of all things?

"Nagato...I think you gave me that nullifier somehow."

"I...It seems to be the case. Let me try to interact with your other arm then."

I nod nervously and she proceeds to reach to me other arm. She tries to nip it, but her theory proved right as cancellation effect went into play.

"...This...is seriously...SUCH MISFORTUNE!", I yelled helplessly.

"My my, this is quite the predicament we have. Though perhaps you can use that newfound power for something."

"...Yeah, like what? This power nullifies everything you can imagine in this world. How did I even get this power of all things anyways?"

"It seems the previous surge of data that I implanted into your body mutated and merged with the new data that I was trying to insert. The result created a repulsion field that flows throughout your whole system."

Well crap. I finally got to a world that has all the things I could dream of seeing and interacting with, but of all things to get, it's the thing that prevents me from doing so! And it's not just on my right hand too, but probably on my entire body as well…


"Perhaps you can use those powers to keep watch over Suzumiya-san? Maybe in case something supernatural like poses a threat?"

"I guess…"

While we were discussing about my new accidental abilities, we decided to go follow Haruhi. She left not too long ago, so it was easy to trace her steps. Man, if it was possible to stalk people this easily in your world reader, society be'd screwed at the very least.

Eventually, after around 5 or 6 minutes of tailing Haruhi, she finally came to stop at the usual park. Surprisingly enough, the place hadn't actually changed.

Nagato gestures Koizumi and Ms. Asahina to go towards Haruhi in their new forms. By the way, in case you're wondering, Nagato made them cats, and ones that stand on their hind legs more specifically. You could tell the difference from them immediately. Koizumi the brown cat had his trademark poker face even with his new feline form, whilst Ms. Asahina, the light purple cat, inherited a few factors from her succubus form, her devilish tail to be exact.

The two cats slowly start walking over to her location, making sure to hide between trees and bushes every so often to make sure they weren't caught. I took a quick glance at Nagato who was tinkering with some kind of machine. I squint my eyes a bit to see that it's some kind of receiver in the shape of a bowtie. Shouldn't that be used to speak into, not listen into?

Then I quickly turned back over to the two and noticed a little patch on Ms. Asahina's back, well at least we can hear what Haruhi's going to do now.

"So Nagato, what are we going to now?"

"Whilst listening to her mood via this device, I will attempt to monitor the percentage of Closed Space appearances.", she says as she flicks her tail once while looking at me.

"And what about me?"

"You're gonna steal them talismans of hers and run off."

"...What kind of speaking style was that?"

"...*Cough* *Cough*...It was nothing. Coming back, you will use this disguise to hide your identity. Make sure to not let out any noise whatsoever, as my reports state that she will recognize your voice out of anyone's because of how familiar she is with it.

She takes out some sort of coat. She really thinks I can hide my identity with this? Well, knowing her…

"Alright, let's get this started!"

We turn around towards Haruhi after hearing her voice through the bow-tie receiver. Looks like she's starting.

"If I do this, this shoooould work…"

She begins writing another talisman, and unlike the others, it began to glow in a bright blue light. What the heck did she write anyways?

"It seems as though she's written the word for demon (悪魔 ). This isn't good news. If she succeeds with that, a demon will be summoned by that talisman, and we don't know how dangerous it can be. Kyon-kun, you're up now.", Koizumi relays.

Oh great, you really expect me to just run up and snatch that awkwardly glowing piece of paper with summoning capabilities? Well screw that! ...Well, that's what I normally would be saying, but the situation is a bit different this time around.

Putting on the coat, I begin dashing towards her. It doesn't take long for her to begin hearing my loud footsteps, and she quickly turns around in my direction.

"Wha...Hey what do you think you're-"

Before she could finish her complaint, I quickly snap away the talisman in her hand along with the other blank ones she had on the ground.

"Hey, who are you?! Get back here you thief!"

Thief? Wait, she didn't recognize me? Ah, I see now. The coat covers my appearance, but doesn't affect my body in any way. That's also the reason I couldn't say anything too, because it doesn't cover up one's voice. Though I wonder what I look like to Haruhi.

I had a head start on her so it was easy to get away, but I'm worried that this little scene may have pissed her off a little, but at least my powers worked, because the talisman was a bunch of scrap paper now.

'Indeed. The actions we have taken have raised the rate of Closed Spaces around the area. By the way, it's OK to take the coat off now.'

Gah! Nagato please, stop doing that when my mind isn't ready! Nearly made me faint…

'My apologies. Let us meet up at the school.'

Alright, just...stop with the telepathic connections.

'It's not telepathy, but rather me transferring data through my speaker on that coat. I can hear your thoughts, but I myself cannot interact with them directly.'

I take a look again at the coat, and like she said, there was a listening device on it, she probably modified it to do so.

I assume that Haruhi wouldn't take this lightly, but as I creeped slowly towards where she was searching, surprisingly she didn't look that pissed. I wonder why.

Nevertheless, I start walking back to school, meeting up with the others around 10 minutes later. Koizumi and Ms. Asahina were already back to their regular forms, but they looked a bit...awkward? Probably the side effects from the transformation. Ha, this is why I didn't want to get turned over again.

"And, so what happened with Haruhi Nagato?"

"I do not detect any signs of Closed Space around the area.", Nagato responded.

"Yes, but that could mean that instead of Closed Space, maybe she caused another phenomenon to occur in its place. This is a world of fiction now after all.", Koizumi intervenes.

Well, at least that makes some sense, of whatever sense left in this world at that.

We decided to just continue the routine of our investigation, Koizumi and Nagato monitoring Haruhi's every move.

And later that day when I got home…

I stand in front of the doorstep to my house, and blankly look out in a random direction in the sky. Normally it would be full of clouds, maybe an occasional airplane or two, and a blue sky, but…

Of course, that peaceful image was ruined with the appearance of giant sci-fi ships going along about, mutant birds or whatever...and you know what?

"...Nah, no way she'll destroy the world. Even she isn't that psychotic. Yeah, definitely not! Ha. Ha. Ha…", I say nonchalantly as I walk in.

Aaaand just like that I jinxed it, but not knowing that until later on that is. Well that's for the later.

I just hope that nothing stupid is going to affect the world of all things...