Day 2: AU'S is a go for Bluepulse Week 2016!. I'm going to put a little trigger warning over here. If you have a fear of heights or any other MAJOR phobias or anxieties that could affect you negatively, please proceed with caution whilst reading this. Other than that, this is comedic (hopefully), and enjoy! :D

-Sad


"you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and I don't want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and I don't want to go to jail and also you're kind of cute we should make out when i'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life" AU


Thump.

Jaime Reyes awoke to the sound of an annoying rapping somewhere or other. He turned to look at his clock and groaned as he realized it was three-thirty in the morning. He threw a pillow at the wall and screamed at his neighbor to shut the hell up.

God knows what sort of a "good time" she was having in there…

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

"SHUT UP CASSIE, I'M SERIOUS."

Silence.

Good. Now he could get back to sleep. He had a chem test tomorrow he hadn't yet studied for, and it was really stressing him out. That, and there was the whole "I Accidentally Made Out With My Boss Last Week, Whoops I'm Sorry" thing he was going to have to deal with tomorrow.

He couldn't help it that his boss was hot. Or that they had both been drunk off their asses.

Silence. Beautiful, blissful, silence.

He shut his eyes softly, allowing his mind to retract from the world.

THUMPTHUMPTHUMP-

"DAMN IT!" he swore, jumping out of bed and throwing his covers to the floor. He was shirtless, and in his underwear. It was now three-thirty four. He was not in the mood for this shit.

"I'm going to-" he muttered, reverting back to Spanish mid sentence only to relieve many curse words that were on his mind. He walked over to his door, completely ready to go and berate the shit out of his nearby resident when he realized that the thumping wasn't coming from her room…

It was coming from his own.

Thrown off, Jaime paused. He stood silently for about a minute, listening for where the sound was coming from.

Thump. Thump. THUMP.

His window. It was coming from...his window?

Now sincerely puzzled, Jaime began walking towards his window. He stopped halfway there, and retreated back to his closet. The loud thumping persisted as he rummaged around in there. He grabbed on a pair of pants and a t-shirt that probably hadn't been washed in weeks. He returned to the window with a plastic bat that his sister had jokingly got him for Christmas five years ago. She said that he could use it to further "preoccupy" himself. Jaime had jokingly hit her over the head with it.

The thing hadn't seen the light of day in years.

He slowly approached the window, holding the red, plastic baseball bat close to him. The thumping was even more prevalent now. In fact, it wouldn't stop. He swallowed the fear in his throat down to his stomach. His heart battered wildly in his chest.

In one swift movement, Jaime twisted so that he was prepared to fight whatever stupid bird had managed to find it's way onto his window, tore up the sash (it was one of those crappy ones that you had to pull up to actually kind of see out of), and let out a battle cry that was so pathetic, it kind of just died on his throat halfway through everything.

Silence.

And then;

"Hey!"

Jaime whipped his head back outside, eyes wide and mouth hanging halfway open. Okay, so, not a bird. But definitely a ghost. He had definitely heard someone say "hey", but there was no one outside.

"HEY!"

What the fuck?

"Down here, big guy!"

Jaime glanced down and screamed, jumping away from the window frame in a manner that could resemble that of his dead cat Mittens. He sat there, breathing heavily for a quarter of a second, before he was up and back at the window once more.

There was a boy hanging from his window sill.

Well, boy-man. He was more of a man from the looks of it. But Jaime was so shocked, he just stared disbelievingly at the young adult for about thirty seconds. The guy grinned back nervously, chuckling anxiously.

"Hey. Um, so, yeah. I'm kind of stuck."

Flabbergasted. That was what Jaime was. His eyes wide, mouth hanging open. It was now three forty-one. And there was a person hanging from his window ledge.

"Could you maybe-?"

Jaime screamed suddenly, and brought the bat down on the guy's fingers. He also screamed, and held on tighter. This caused Jaime to bring down the bat a couple more times, until he was only hanging on by one hand.

"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON MY WINDOW LEDGE."

"I WAS TRYING TO ROB YOU, BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT PLAN WENT TO SHIT."

"WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR."

The guy screamed once more, as his only hand left on the window ledge began to slip. He turned up desperately to look Jaime right in the eyes. "'You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and I don't want to tell you I was trying to rob you, but I don't know how else to explain this, and I don't want to go to jail, and also you're kind of cute, we should make out when i'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life. PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE."

Jaime only really got the second part of the rant. Just as the guy completely slipped from the window ledge, Jaime grabbed his hand. He was going to pull him back in. You know, be the hero, despite the fact that this idiot had tried to rob him up on the thirteenth fucking floor.

He was going to save him and then call the shit out of the police to come haul this guy's ass to jail.

But, this apparently wasn't Jaime's night, because as soon as he caught the guy, he also began to slip through the window. They both screamed, and Jaime attempted to hold on, but they ended up dangling from the thirteenth floor window by Jaime's legs.

"OH MY GOD." the stranger screamed, "WE'RE GONNA DIE."

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE THIS WAY." Jaime yelled back, "I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR."

"FUCK YOU, I HAVE A DAUGHTER AT HOME."

"BULLSHIT."

"OKAY, YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE GOD WOULD BE NICE IF I SAID I DID."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?"

"WE'RE HANGING FROM A WINDOW LEDGE THIRTEEN FLOORS UP, OF COURSE I'M NOT SHITTING YOU."

This went on for awhile, both of them screaming as Jaime grip on the window ledge also slipped. The safety in this place was complete shit. In a desperate attempt to not fall to his bloody death with this complete stranger, Jaime hooked his pant leg onto a hook that he usually put his flowers in. It latched on (luckily, the material on his pants was actually really durable) and he sighed in relief.

"We're going to die." the stranger moaned, "I'm going to die on a fucking window ledge holding hands with a hot latino."

Jaime raised an eyebrow, but decided to ignore that last comment. The guy continued moaning and pissing about how they were going to die horrible deaths, and Jaime just rolled his eyes.

He was already doing the math in his head.

Every morning, Cassie came over to have a coffee with him. She woke up at exactly nine-thirty, and arrived at his place by nine forty-five to wake him up because he had the terrible habit of sleeping in and missing work. So, Cassie stole his coffee, and he used her as his personal alarm clock.

He could estimate that it was probably almost four in the morning at this time.

Meaning, that if they stayed like this for another five and a half hours, he could call to Cassie as soon as she got in…

So, survive five and a half hours with a really cute stranger who had tried to rob him, only to have put them both in danger…

Shit, he was going to die.


"So, what's your name?" the guy asked almost too casually as they hung uselessly from Jaime's window. The latino raised a fine eyebrow.

"We're hanging for our lives from a window ledge, and you want to know my name?" he questioned quizzically.

The guy shrugged. "Well, yeah, I mean. You're kind of cute." Jaime blinked, not really knowing what to do with the weird compliments the guy was still giving him, but decided to humour the jerk nonetheless.

"It's Jaime." he said.

"Cool" the guy grinned, "I'm Bart!"

"I don't care." Jaime responded flatly, not amused with the entirety of this situation.

The stranger-Bart-pouted. "Awww." he began, "Are you still mad at me for trying to rob you?"

"No." Jaime grumbled.

"Yes you are, pussypants." Bart teased, giving Jaime one of the biggest smile he had ever seen in his life. Jaime just sighed annoyedly.

"You're an annoying fucker. You do know I could drop you, right?" he questioned with a smirk. The look of terror on Bart's face was almost worth it all at that point.

"OH MY GOD, PLEASE NO."


"My head hurts." Jaime whined, trying to shift his body in order to make the current position he was in more comfortable. There was really no use, though. He was upside down. And with all the blood rushing to his head, Jaime felt really uncomfortable to say the least.

"Yeah?" Bart began, scowling, "Well, my arm hurts like hell, and you don't see me complaining!"

"You just did." Jaime pointed out. Bart just scowled, and shifted in an attempt to also make himself more comfortable in the awkward position they were currently in.

This was their "Shiting To Get More Comfortable All The While Scowling And Whining" phase that they went through whilst hanging from the windowsill.

It wasn't fun.


"Could you maybe not breathe so loudly?" Jaime hissed, and Bart looked up at him with a glare. Just to piss him off, he began breathing even louder than he had been before. So loud, it was almost as though he were wheezing.

"Oh my God! Shut the fuck up! You sound like a smoker!"

Bart just grinned, and kept right on at it.


"I'm boreeeeeedddddddd." Bart whined for the fiftieth time in a minute. Jaime sighed and went back to reviewing all the chem topics he was supposed to be going over for the test tomorrow. Bart clacked his feet together five times, and repeated the phrase once more.

"Deal with it!" Jaime growled out distractedly, still going through the different phase changes in his mind.

"But I don't want to deal with it."

Jaime let out a strangled sound. "You're the one who got us into this mess in the first place, remember!?" he hissed, shuffling once more. Bart continued on whining and pouting about how unfair this entire situation was.

Jaime just rolled his eyes.

How many hours to go?

Too many.


"That's a weird looking bird."

Jaime blinked out of his headspace to see a seagull looking over at them, it's head cocked to the side almost curiously. He cursed, glaring at the wretched thing as though he could burn it to a crisp if he stared hard enough. Bart looked up at him, bewildered.

"Why are you glaring at a bird?"

"Because birds fucking suck."

"You're not afraid of birds, are you?"

"No."

"Ohmygod, you are."

"Shut up." Jaime grumbled angrily, almost crossing his arms over his chest before remembering that one was currently extended and holding up the dumb redhead. Honestly, he would drop him (he was getting sick of his face), but he didn't want to be convicted for murder or anything.

His arm was numb. At least Bart didn't weigh much, but still...

"Changing topics," he began, "Why the hell did you decide to rob me?" He glared down at the annoyance that he was now practically glued to. Bart blinked and then shrugged.

"Don't know."

Jaime stared in disbelief.

"You mean you climbed a building and tried to get in some guy's window to rob him just for shits and giggles?" he asked, flabbergasted. Bart tended to confuse and annoy the hell out of him simultaneously. Twenty-four-seven.

Quite the feat, since he could usually manage his tolerance level quite well.

Bart was just that special.

"I mean, I saw you in the lobby. You looked pretty hot…"

"The thirteenth floor, really, Bart?"

"I wanted to see if those rock climbing sessions paid off."

"They did jack, esé, you ended up dangling from a window sill."

"Guess my instructor won't be very happy."

Jaime, despite himself, laughed.


"WHEEEEEE!"

Jaime suddenly found himself screaming as Bart pushed off against the wall with his feet and they went spinning around in circles at a rate that was too fast for Jaime to keep up with. The world began around him began spinning. Every noise seemed a hundred times louder than it actually was.

Bart pushed off once more.

"JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED!?"

"Dude, this is awesome. It's like our own personal Merry Go Round." Bart smirked. Jaime's brain bashed into the sides of his skull. He felt nauseous.

"YOU'RE GOING TO RIP THE SEAMS OF MY PANTS. YOU'LL SEND US TO OUR DEATHS YOU BLOODY IDIOT." he shrieked as he heard more ripping in the precious material that was currently keeping them alive.

Bart winced dramatically "Ohhh. My bad."

"Your bad? YOUR BAD?"

"Why yes, MJ, I am, thank you very much for noticing."

Jaime seriously considered dropping him right then and there, and allowing his guts to spill all over the streets below.


"-YOU NEED TO WAKE UP."

Jaime jerked, his entire body shaking. Bart screamed, as there was another audible rip that came from his pant leg. Jaime cursed, shifting so that it hopefully wouldn't rip anymore. He grabbed onto Bart's sweaty hand quite tightly.

Wait, sweaty, what the fuck?

"Ewww. Your palm's all clammy." he whined, wanting to desperately wipe his hand on his pants. This would present two problems which both involved falling to their deaths, so he just held on even tighter to the wet, slippery palm and grumbled to himself about how unsanitary it was.

"That would be your fault, you jackass." Bart huffed, out of breath, "You fell asleep, jerk."

Jaime's eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

"Well, duh." Bart responded, "Though, if that was your best idea of getting rid of me, then you need to check yourself, my friend." he snarked.

Jaime rolled his eyes. "I could still drop you." he hummed.

"Nah." Bart spoke up, more to himself than Jaime, "Nah, you wouldn't. I'm pretty sure you're too good for that."

Jaime raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you become an expert on all things me?"

Bart grinned. "Since we ended up dangling from a windowsill together for two and a half hours?"

Jaime groaned. "Has it really been that long?"

Bart just laughed in response.

"We've made it this far." he assured both Bart, and himself as well, "No way am I dying with a freckled idiot who decided to climb thirteen floors to rob some hot latino he saw in a lobby."

Bart smirked. "Oh, so we've graduated from "latino" to "hot latino", huh?"

Jaime blushed, though he hoped the lights and darkness around them would conceal it. Sadly, by the telltale look on Bart's face, they probably did not. "Shut up." he glowered.

Bart giggled. "You're cute when you're mad." He laughed again.

Jaime was beginning to love that laugh.


"Hey! I just remembered! I have my phone with me!"

Jaime snapped out of the world of phases and chemical and physical reactions only to have his eyeballs pop out of their sockets. His jaw dropped, and he craned his head down to stare at the stupid thief who had the dumbest grin on his face.

"You what?"

Bart looked up at him and busted out laughing.

"Your face, oh my God-"

"That's not funny."

"It's pretty funny." Bart smirked. Jaime glared squarely at him. Bart fumbled around in his pockets with his one hand, attempting to grab the damned thing.

"Here it is! I-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, as the phone suddenly fell out of his one hand in slow motion. Both their mouths opened to also scream in slow motion. Bart stuck out his foot at an awkward angle, the phone just barely landing on his sneaker.

The pair sighed in relief.

And then began to panic.

"Bart, I swear to God, if you drop that thing…"

"Relax. I've got this. Good old lefty here is holding the phone. I'll just carefully transfer it to my hand, and…"

The rest of what he was going to say was also lost to the world, as Bart began mumbling incoherent things as he attempted a variety of different measures to get the phone back to his hand. He eventually began fumbling with his shoes. Jaime watched the entire process, mesmerized at the thought of finally getting off the damned windowsill.

He had been an idiot and had left his phone inside.

Then again, he hadn't exactly been expecting to fall out a window, had he?

This was how Bart managed to lose his first shoe.

They both watched as it slipped off his foot and fell to the ground below. Nobody on the street below really seemed to notice it. It wasn't that busy, anyways. Jaime cursed in his native tongue. Bart used a whole lot of colorful words in an attempt to save the phone.

Jaime didn't know when or even how it happened, but Bart ended up propelling both the phone and his remaining shoe in the air in hopes of catching them.

He didn't.

They both watched, mortified, as the two things also fell to the street below. Jaime was left with a sense of dread and a very shoeless Bart.

Bart blinked down passively at the shoes.

"Well, I never was the best at Little League."

Jaime screamed and swore at him for about ten minutes after that. Bart just kept right on grinning the entire time.

"Think of it this way, Jaime, " he cackled, "You get to spend more time up here with me!"

"Oh, fuck you."


"Umm, Jaime?"

"What?"

"...I have to pee."

"...fuck…"


"HEY! I think some of my urine just hit that old lady down there!"

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP."

"SORRY ABOUT THAT, LADY."

"BART. SHUT UP, OR I'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP."

"Ohhh. Details?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."


"You seem kind of distracted."

Jaime turned and shot a look in Bart's direction. Bart looked up at him quizzically. He moved his one free hand around to gesture at Jaime.

"I mean, you're here, but you're not here, you know?" he attempted to explain. Jaime sighed.

"Yeah, i'd rather be anywhere but here." he stated the obvious. Bart snickered.

"Duh." he chided, "But, seriously. Where are you?"

Jaime sighed again. It was stupid, but he figured he didn't exactly have a reason not to tell Bart. He cleared his throat.

"Umm…" he began, "I-er-actually have a Chemistry test tomorrow that I didn't study for…" he trailed off, averting his eyes back to the ground down below them.

Bart snorted. "Really?"

Jaime scoffed. "Well, it's better than thinking about your putrid face."

Bart feigned hurt. "Ouch. That one really stung. I mean, I was going to offer to help you out with the whole chemistry thing, but now i'm not so sure…I'm honestly feeling pretty attacked right now."

"Right. Like you of all people could help me out with my Chem test." he snorted. Bart smiled knowingly up at him.

"Actually, I was majoring in Chemistry before I dropped out of college."

"Please don't say that word while we're up here-WAIT, you dropped out of college?"

Bart rolled his eyes. "Not the point." he sighed, and then grinned.

"I mean, I could help you, if you wanted." he smirked, "Anything is better than thinking about your putrid face, right?" he joked. Jaime snorted.

"Glad we're in agreement, my friend."

Bart slapped his hand against his pant leg. They swung a little from side to side. Jaime cursed out, and Bart apologized whilst snickering.

"So. You at least know the formula for Photosynthesis, correct?"

Jaime stared blankly at him.

Bart sighed.

"Well, shit. This may take a while."


"I see London, I see France, I see Jaime's underpants-"

"Bart, shut the fuck up."

"I didn't know you wore Batman underwear, bro."

"It's not my fault my jeans are fucking ripping because I had to hook them to a flower holder because you got us stuck on a fucking window ledge."

"Are you blushing?"

"I swear to God, Bart, I will drop your ass onto that sidewalk so fast."


When Jaime was stressed, or angry, and sometimes-rarely-even really happy, he would revert back to his native tongue. Which was exactly what he began doing sometime after the fourth hour. He rambled in Spanish without any interruptions for about five minutes, until Bart of course decided that he just had to speak up.

"Is that Spanish?"

Jaime stopped mid-rant. He turned to glare at the green-eyed, clammy-handed, robber who had a kink for feisty hispanics, apparently.

"Yeah. It is." he answered, slightly unnerved, "So?"

Bart blinked blankly. "You're Spanish?"

Jaime blinked back, now extremely confused. "Well, yeah, duh. I mean, you've actually referred to me as a latino, did you not clue in?"

Bart smirked. "Hot latino," he corrected, and Jaime rolled his eyes whilst blushing, "And, I don't know, I guess it never really occurred to me that you might actually be Spanish. I'm dumb."

"Yeah," Jaime agreed full heartedly, "Yeah, you totally are."

Bart grinned. "Think you could maybe teach me?"

Jaime just stared disbelievingly at him for a couple of minutes. He narrowed his eyes, taking in every little detail there was to know about Bart. Finally, he just shrugged.

"Sure. Whatever."

Bart's head whipped up, the biggest smile on his face. "Wait, seriously?"

Jaime shrugged once more. "Sure. I mean, I might die now. Might as well share something of my upbringing with someone else."

Bart grinned again. That smile was really growing on Jaime.

"Great, a-mi-go. Can't wait to get started!" he proclaimed cheerily. Jaime winced at the terrible pronunciation. He sighed.

"Okay. Rule number one. Never say that word again."

Bart beamed. "You've got it, e-se."

Jaime moaned. Bart guffawed.


"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer-!"

"NO."

"-take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING START, BART."


"I just realized, i'm a really shit robber."

Jaime looked down at Bart amusedly. "Really? You're just figuring that out now?"

Bart smiled at that. He cracked his knuckles on the hand that was dangling in the air, staring down at the street below.

"Like, I must be the only thief ever to get both himself and his victim stuck on a windowsill for five hours waiting for the cranky lady to come over and free them."

Jaime grinned. "Yeah, pretty much. I think you should invest in a new profession, vato."

Bart frowned. "Even after that entire Spanish lesson, I still have no idea what you just called me, so i'm just going to assume that was a compliment."

"El burro sabe más que tú."

"Why, yes, I do look very handsome today, thank you."

"You're still not going to apologize for all of this?" Jaime questioned exasperatedly, a hint of a small smile on his face. Bart smirked.

"Well, i'll admit, i'm a jackass, and a dumb one at that. But, nope, I could never apologize for this. This is the most fun i've had in weeks!"

Jaime simply rolled his eyes.


"Hey look! Sunrise!"

Bart's head turned up to where Jaime was motioning with his entire body (he couldn't exactly use his hands, they were supporting Bart). The freckled misfit smiled as he stared over at the pinkish sky in awe. He pushed off a little against the wall he had been using to better support his feet on, as well as to give Jaime a break from having to hold him like that for hours on end, in order to better see the amazing thing that was happening before their very eyes.

"Hey. That's really cool."

"Damn right it is." Jaime agreed.

The two just smiled like idiots as they watched the sun rise from its deep slumber.


"So, how many Bart-ups can you do?"

Jaime looked down happily. He was beginning to hate when Bart grew silent. The guy was stupid, but charming in a sense. Annoying, but entertaining nonetheless.

"Excuse you?"

"Yeah! You look like the body-builder type. How many Bart-ups can you do in one sitting, tough guy?"

Jaime snorted. "One, we're dangling, so I can't exactly do it 'in one sitting'" he began, "And, two, no way am I risking falling down just to lift you tiny ass up and down a couple of times."

Bart pouted. "Well, I guess I could try seeing how many chin-ups I could do."

"If you make us fall to our untimely deaths-"

"Relax! I've got this!"

"Bart."

"Ugh. Party pooper."


"AHHHH! I CAN'T HOLD ON, BART! I CAN FEEL MY HAND SLIPPING!"

"WHAT? NOOOO! NOOOOO!"

"I CAN FEEL IT! I'M GOING TO LET GO!"

"DON'T LET GO, DUDE. WHATEVER YOU DO! OH MY GOD."

"OH NO! THIS IS TERRIBLE! SHIT!"

"JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE NO!"

"AH! IT'S SLIPPING! I'M FALLING!"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"Hey Bart."

"WHAT? WHAT!?"

"Just kidding."

"..."


"This...was a bad idea."

It had indeed been a bad idea. Though, there was some logic behind it. They had been hanging around in silence when Bart suggested that he try to climb out over Jaime in an attempt to make it back inside. Jaime had strongly disagreed with this idea, as falling to his bloody death after all this time still did not seem very appealing, if truth be told. But, Bart could be quite persistent.

And by "quite persistent", Jaime meant he made farting noises until the angry man solemnly agreed to allow his body to be used as a human ladder for the thief to make his getaway back into his home.

"I made it thirteen floors," was Bart's argument, "This will be a piece of cake!"

It was not a piece of cake.

"Ummm, dude, where do I...you know, put my hands?"

Jaime groaned, a blush forming on his cheeks. There were only so many places Bart could put his hands since he was very hazardously hanging upside down. Jaime had apparently forgotten about this when agreeing to be used as Bart's personal jungle gym.

He sighed.

"I don't know."

"Erm, okay." Bart placed a hand tentatively on his thigh, and Jaime tensed up slightly. He cleared his throat, albeit awkwardly.

"You'll fall if you try to climb me like that." he stated, then grimaced at his choice of vocabulary. He could hear Bart shuffling awkwardly. For the next fifteen minutes, the two struggled to find a position in which Bart could easily access the window without disturbing any...certain spots on Jaime's person.

It ended up with Bart falling down once more and Jaime just nearly catching him.

Thus ended their awkward adventure of attempting to use one another's bodies as a means of escape from the "Death By Window" tactic.

(even saying that sentence just felt plain wrong)


"Oh God. I think the couple in that building over there are having sex."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah! See! Look over there, Bart. The big, glass window?"

"Ewww. That's disgusting. Get a room. Without windows."

"I can't believe I have to watch this."

"You could just stare at my beautiful face instead."

"Right. As if."

"Oh God, now they're going againstthewindow,and-"

"TMI! TMI!"

"This feels so wrong."

"Then stop looking!"

"I can't, Jaime. I'm hooked."

"Mierda."

"Why aren't you looking, Jaime?"

"Jesus Christ almighty, hijo de puta-"

"You know, that could be us…"

"Bart. If you know what's good for you, shut the fuck up."

"Kinky ass motherfuckers."

"I'm so done with this shit."

"They're not."

"SON OF A FUCKING-"


"So, like, maybe after all of this blows over, I could date you?"

Jaime choked on his own spit.

After many seconds of awkward spit-coughing that followed, he turned to stare flabbergasted at Bart, who was grinning like the Chesire cat. He waggled his eyebrows up and down.

"Yeah, Jaime. I want to date you. The hot latino. There's a sushi shop down the street from here. They make bacon sushi. It's fucking awesome."

Jaime stared, wide eyed at Bart for a minute, who kept rambling on about bacon sushi and how it only cost around five bucks plus tax, and blah, blah, blah. Jaime squinted at him for awhile, trying to size him up. Was he joking around like he usually was? Was he serious?

"-and then you could take me dancing! AH! Oh my God Jaime, if it rains, we could dance in the rain! The ultimate love story!"

"Sure."

This time, it was Bart's turn to choke on his own spit. Jaime actually couldn't stop giggling, as Bart jerking around awkwardly whilst dangling from a window ledge was probably one of the best things in the world that he'd ever seen.

"Wait, really?" he asked, eyes wide. Jaime cracked a grin. Now that he thought about it, Bart was actually adorable, with those tiny freckles printed onto his cheeks and that great set of teeth which he really knew how to flaunt around when smiling.

"Sure. I mean, why the hell not? Nothing could be worse than this time we shared together, right?" he snarked, and Bart snickered.

"Are you sure? I'm actually pretty certain I can make you change your mind about that."

Jaime laughed. Bart smiled. The two lapsed into a peaceful silence.

"Tomorrow at eight, then?"

"Eight-thirty. It's a date."

Bart grinned.

"Will I get a goodnight kiss from my precious window-dangler?"

"Woah there, esé, you might need to slow down."


"OH MY GOD, JAIME. WHAT THE FUCK."

Cassie leaned her head all the way out the window, eyes wide and filled with complete disbelief. She rubbed them as though to see if she were still dreaming. Jaime felt like assuring her she wasn't, because he had actually been living this nightmare for the past, now, five or so hours.

Bart clicked his tongue and nodded solemnly. "You must be the crazy coffee lady that comes over and wakes Jaime up every morning. Heard lots about you. All good things, of course."

Jaime snickered. He craned his neck to stare up at Cassie. "Hey, good ol' neighbor of mine. Mind getting us off of here?"

Cassie rushed to call for help in an instant.

"Good plan. Smart girl. Why didn't you do that instead of falling out of a fucking window, Jaime?" Bart teased. Jaime rolled his eyes dramatically. Bart stuck out his tongue sassily.

And for a second, Jaime was scared that he was actually going to miss this.


After having successfully been saved from his window ledge (even saying that sounded so pathetic), Jaime thoroughly showered, changed his clothes, and downed about two pots of scorching hot coffee. Cassie took the day off work to be with him. Jaime was also taking the day off work, "recovering" from his incident.

When he finally sat down and was able to be at peace for more than a few seconds, he realized that Bart was actually gone.

The thought kind of saddened him, and he didn't know why. He had, after all, just spent five hours outside of his apartment just "hanging around" with the stranger thief that had idiotically climbed thirteen floors in a failed attempt to rob him.

Cassie asked many questions. "How did you get onto the window ledge?" and "Why didn't you scream for help?" and "Were you scared?" and "Where did you piss, dude?" and "Who was that other guy with you?"

Jaime answered all of these with a knowing smile. Cassie just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, and, that weird guy?" she began, and extended her hand towards Jaime. In it was a piece of crumpled up loose leaf paper, "He left me this. Told me I should give it to you after you finally settled down."

Jaime took the note and thoroughly inspected it.

"You should know that I was very good," she continued on, "I didn't even look at it once! Not one peep!" Jamie snorted and Cassie laughed at her own joke. She continued blabbering on about something, and Jaime casually opened the sheet. On it was a number, as well as an address. That, and a message scrawled in messy handwriting as well.

'I'll pick you up tomorrow. Eight-thirty. If you ditch, you're a fucking bastard. Cheers.

-Bart

P.S.

Thank you'

Jaime smiled in relief. He didn't know why, but it felt good to know that he was going to be able to see Bart again, and on more simpler terms as well. He was actually pretty excited for tomorrow.

Bart made him laugh. Not many people did.

But, still, one part of the letter did confuse him. Why was Bart thankful? Because Jaime hadn't dropped him? Because he had agreed to go on the date tomorrow?

One thing was for sure; Bart Allen was an enigma that absolutely no one could solve.

But, Jaime decided he would take a shot at it nonetheless.

Why the hell not?


5 hours, 43 minutes previous…

The world looked so small from where he stood.

Bart stared down blankly at the street below, swallowing his fear down into his stomach. He nodded to himself courageously.

This was the spot. This was where he would do it.

He took another step so that his feet were teetering on the edge of the roof of the vicinity. His heart was racing, eyes were shining in the darkness of the bright, blue city lights. It was early in the morning. Still dark around him.

Nobody would be here to see him. To witness what he was about to do.

He had already left a note back at his apartment, if anybody bothered to even check there, anyways. It seemed nowadays that nobody would. That nobody cared.

Sometimes, life was just too hard. And the feeling of not wanting to live but not wanting to die either was one that was really hard to come to terms with.

There were only so many options at this point in Bart's life.

Jumping was one of them.

He stared down once more, swallowing. His jaw was locked shut. He squinted in order to see the pavement below.

Jumping from here would ensure a bloody death.

Bart knew he would chicken out if he didn't just get it over with, but he was frozen in the moment. The decision of taking your own life was one that was really hard to make. Why couldn't someone have just killed him instead? Shot him in the head and have gotten it over with?

It was better than this. The knowing. The fear.

Bart was going to chicken out again like he had all the other times. He was going to walk away from it like he had all those other times. He really would have, but in the moment he misstepped and tripped over the side of the building. He yelped as he went down, latching on to the first thing he could grab.

A window ledge. A window.

He had fallen a couple of floors, so his arms really hurt, but he still reached up and banged relentlessly on the window before he dropped his hand back down to his side. The fear and adrenaline outweighed the pain. Despite the fact that he could just let go and fall and be done with it, he was, quite honestly, petrified.

He should have looked up a tutorial for how to do this. Shit.

He banged on the window again, wincing and biting his lip. Of course nobody was going to answer. It was far too early in the morning. The person inside was probably a deep sleeper. Hell, what was to say there even was a person inside?

Bart squeezed his eyes shut. His grasp began to slip.

'God,' he began, 'Don't know if you're listening, but if you want to save my pathetic life for some reason, then here's your chance. In thirty seconds i'm going to let go. No chickening out. Give me a sign please. Don't let me die.'

He kept his eyes shut.

Ten seconds past. Then fifteen.

Twenty.

Bart sighed, smiling softly as he began to loosen his grip.

'No chickening out this time,' he reminded himself, 'None of that shit, Allen.'

And then, just as he was going to let go, a sign from above fell on top of him. In the form of a pure miracle, a stranger tore open the window and looked out. Bart stared upwards, eyes widened in shock. He registered saying something, but his mouth was moving faster than his brain, like it always did.

And then the stranger looked down. And Bart locked eyes with him, and couldn't help but smile.

'So, this is my sign, huh?'

Maybe, just maybe, he could find something worth living for after all...


Review please! :D